Presentation Horrors: Don't do these things

16,427 views
15,949 views

Published on

I've done some pretty awful presentations in my career. Here, I've pulled them all into a single, truly horrifying 'ultimate' slide deck. First, I pull them all together. Then I do the same presentation again, with annotations explaining where I goofed and how to avoid it.

6 Comments
121 Likes
Statistics
Notes
No Downloads
Views
Total views
16,427
On SlideShare
0
From Embeds
0
Number of Embeds
34
Actions
Shares
0
Downloads
973
Comments
6
Likes
121
Embeds 0
No embeds

No notes for slide

Presentation Horrors: Don't do these things

  1. Ian Lurie @portentint www.portent.com PRESENTATION HORRORS: DON’T DO THESE THINGS
  2. NEW BOLD COLOR!Hi. I’m Ian Lurie. CEO of an overflowing-with-awesome internet marketing agency called Portent. @portentint  
  3. NEW BOLD COLOR! This presentation is every bad thing I’ve ever done when creating a presentation. Read, learn, and avoid my embarrassing moments. @portentint  
  4. NEW BOLD COLOR!It’s actually TWO presentations: First, the bad presentation. Then the same presentation, annotated. @portentint  
  5. CATCHY TITLEWITH SQUARED FONTS Ian Lurie @portentint www.portent.com WHICH IS WONDERFUL, BUT NOW YOU NEED A SUBTITLE SIMPLY TO EXPLAIN THE TITLE
  6. SELF-PROMOTION @portentint  
  7. SELF-PROMOTION @portentint  
  8. SELF-PROMOTION @portentint  
  9. SELF-PROMOTION @portentint  
  10. WITTY ANECDOTE! @portentint  
  11. NEW BOLD COLOR! @portentint  
  12. SUMMARY OF WHAT YOU’LL HEAR @portentint  
  13. LIST @portentint  
  14. OF @portentint  
  15. POINTS @portentint  
  16. BUT NO BULLETS @portentint  
  17. •  Now I’m going to use bullets •  So I can string stuff together •  And because I got really tired •  And because I didn’t rehearse, so I’m going to read this to you @portentint  
  18. •  OK but now •  I’m using bullets because •  I know people will •  want to read this later and remember •  what I talked about @portentint  
  19. COLORS USED RANDOMLY @portentint  
  20. COLORS USED RANDOMLY
  21. COLORS USED RANDOMLY @portentint  
  22. F-BOMB!!!! SWEARING! AUDIENCE LAUGHS, SO I’LL DO IT MORE!!! @portentint  
  23. OOOOH, AAAH, ANIMATED TEXT @portentint  
  24. SELF-PROMOTION @portentint  
  25. ACCIDENTAL @portentint  
  26. ANIMATION @portentint  
  27. DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE @portentint  
  28. DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE @portentint  
  29. DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE @portentint  
  30. DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE @portentint  
  31. DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE @portentint  
  32. DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE @portentint  
  33. DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE @portentint  
  34. Look! Drop shadows!!! @portentint  
  35. JOKE ABOUT HOW IT’S JUST BEFORE/AFTER LUNCH/COFFEE/A BIG PARTY LAST NIGHT @portentint  
  36. OBLIGTORY TYPO @portentint  
  37. HEY, LET’S GET POLITICAL!!!!! @portentint  
  38. LAST YEAR’S SLIDE @portentint  
  39. ANOTHER LAYOUT AT RANDOM @portentint  
  40. STOCK PHOTO TO ‘HUMANIZE’ PRESENTATION
  41. BETCHA CAN’T READ THIS
  42. BETCHA CAN’T READ THISI PAID GOOD MONEY FOR THIS IMAGE SO I’M GOING TO USE IT DAMMIT. @portentint  
  43. I FORGOT YOU USE 4: @portentint  
  44. 0   10   20   30   40   50   60   1   2   3   4   5   Foobly  stuff   Foobly  stuff  
  45. SELF-PROMOTION @portentint  
  46. OHGODI’MOUTOFTIME SOIWILLRUSHTHROUGH THELASTPARTSSOFAST YOULEARNNOTHING @portentint  
  47. TANGENT RANT THING @portentint  
  48. @portentint  
  49. LOW-CONTRAST. IT’S ARTISTIC AND STUFF. @portentint  
  50. DIFFERENT FONTS BECAUSE IT’S ARTISTIC TOO @portentint  
  51. WTF??! THIS ISN’T KNOCKOUT BOLD!!! @portentint  
  52. LOOK! I GOT ALL DESIGNY AND STUFF.
  53. Ian Lurie @portentint www.portent.com logo here phone address first-born male child’s name CONTACT ME! PLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASE
  54. @portentint   Let’s analyze this presentation, shall we?
  55. CATCHY TITLEWITH SQUARED FONTS I’m guilty of this. Ian Lurie @portentint www.portent.com WHICH IS WONDERFUL, BUT NOW YOU NEED A SUBTITLE SIMPLY TO EXPLAIN THE TITLE
  56. SELF-PROMOTION OK, no problem @portentint  
  57. SELF-PROMOTION OK, no problem @portentint  
  58. SELF-PROMOTION Wait… @portentint  
  59. SELF-PROMOTION K now it’s becoming a problem. 5 minutes of self- promotion in a 30-minute presentation? Not OK. @portentint  
  60. WITTY ANECDOTE! Please, make it relevant And not offensive I once cracked a joke making fun of economists and their fashion choices. At an economics conference. Guess what? They didn’t laugh. I felt like an idiot for the rest of my talk. Oh, see that? That was an anecdote. @portentint  
  61. NEW BOLD COLOR! GAAAH My eyes!!!! Try a natural color palette for starters
  62. SUMMARY OF WHAT YOU’LL HEAR I actually don’t suggest a summary Try going naturally from one point to the next, instead @portentint  
  63. LIST @portentint  
  64. OF You’re avoiding bullets. That’s great!!!! But there is a place for bullets in presentations @portentint  
  65. POINTS Bullets are meant for lists If you have a real list @portentint  
  66. BUT NO BULLETS So use bullets for lists @portentint  
  67. Oy. This is bloody awful. Don’t use bullets as punctuation, or to string thoughts together •  Now I’m going to use bullets •  So I can string stuff together •  And because I got really tired •  And because I didn’t rehearse, so I’m going to read this to you @portentint  
  68. Still no. Consider doing a separate annotated version (like what you’re reading now) instead. •  OK but now •  I’m using bullets because •  I know people will •  want to read this later and remember •  what I talked about @portentint  
  69. COLORS USED RANDOMLY @portentint  
  70. COLORS USED RANDOMLY @portentint  
  71. COLORS USED RANDOMLY Why? Use colors to delineate sections or different ideas @portentint  
  72. F-BOMB!!!! SWEARING! AUDIENCE LAUGHS, SO I’LL DO IT MORE!!! Not recommended,unless you can really pull it off and have the right audience. The audience often laughs because they’re uncomfortable with you swearing like a sailor.
  73. OOOOH, AAAH, ANIMATED TEXT Please, no. Ask: Does it serve a communications purpose? No? Forget it.
  74. SELF-PROMOTION … @portentint  
  75. ACCIDENTAL @portentint   Whereever possible, keep text in the same position…
  76. ANIMATION @portentint   …from slide to slide. Don’t disrupt chain of thought.
  77. DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE Don’t ‘plow through’ material. Mix it up! Tell stories that support your point. Reinforce stuff. @portentint  
  78. DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE @portentint   I have a habit of putting the cool stuff at the start and end, and then filling the middle with endless stuff. Don’t do that. Otherwise it goes on…
  79. DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE @portentint   …and on…
  80. DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE @portentint   …and on.
  81. DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE @portentint   Your stretched, blurred screen capture is not helpful. Be sure to get the original right.
  82. DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE @portentint   Point out one thing per slide, not 5.
  83. DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE @portentint   Use drop shadows when they help, not because you can.
  84. Look! Drop shadows!!! @portentint   Here, the drop shadow blurs the text. Ew.
  85. JOKE ABOUT HOW IT’S JUST BEFORE/AFTER LUNCH/COFFEE/A BIG PARTY LAST NIGHT Yeah, none of us have EVER heard that one before. Avoid it if you can. Again, I’m guilty of this one far too often.
  86. OBLIGTORY TYPO Can’t avoid ‘em all. But at least proofread.
  87. HEY, LET’S GET POLITICAL!!!!! BE CAREFUL. Especially in the US. I’m a lefty pinko liberal I only make political jokes after that disclaimer. And I poke fun at everyone.
  88. LAST YEAR’S SLIDE Don’t do 100% exact repetition. Always bring something new to a repeat presentation. @portentint  
  89. ANOTHER LAYOUT Use alternate layouts to delineate or emphasize ideas. Not to ‘make it interesting.’ AT RANDOM You make it interesting. Not your slides. @portentint  
  90. STOCK PHOTO TO ‘HUMANIZE’ PRESENTATION Were all these people grown in vats? Your audience will not connect with this image unless they’re clones. Don’t use stock images unless they’re truly relevant and approachable.
  91. BETCHA CAN’T READ THIS You’ve already blinded your audience with the optic yellow background. Keep some contrast w/ a transparent fill, or something. Anything.
  92. BETCHA CAN’T READ THIS Images must serve a purpose: Elicit an emotional response, or illustrate a specific idea. Don’t use them just because. I PAID GOOD MONEY FOR THIS IMAGE SO I’M GOING TO USE IT DAMMIT.
  93. I FORGOT YOU USE 4: Check your slide dimensions against your A/V setup. Otherwise, hilarity may ensue. @portentint  
  94. I have no words. Just go read this presentation, instead. 0   10   20   30   40   50   60   1   2   3   4   5   Foobly  stuff   Foobly  stuff  
  95. SELF-PROMOTION … @portentint  
  96. OHGODI’MOUTOFTIMES OIWILLRUSHTHROUGHT HELASTPARTSSOFASTY OULEARNNOTHING For Heaven’s sake: Rehearse. Get your timing right. @portentint  
  97. TANGENT RANT THING Sometimes, this is OK. I don’t suggest riffing on health care at a marketing conference, though. @portentint  
  98. Seriously? @portentint  
  99. LOW-CONTRAST. IT’S ARTISTIC AND STUFF. This might be invisible on a projector. @portentint  
  100. DIFFERENT FONTS BECAUSE IT’S ARTISTIC TOO Don’t make your slide look like a ransom note. Unless that’s what you want. @portentint  
  101. WTF??! THIS ISN’T KNOCKOUT BOLD!!! You used a special font, didn’t you? Now you get to read your presentation in poorly formatted Times. Bring copies of your fonts, or use a ‘safe’ font. A nice list here.
  102. LOOK! I GOT ALL DESIGNY AND STUFF. If you know how to do a good gradient, cool! Go for it. But it’s important to recognize your design limitations and stay within them. If you want, I’ll show you my presentation stick figures sometime…
  103. Ian Lurie @portentint www.portent.com logo here phone address first-born male child’s name CONTACT ME! PLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASE When you list 12 different ways for folks to contact you, it just confuses them, and maybe sounds a little desperate…? Keep it simple: E-mail, Twitter, maybe website.
  104. NEW BOLD COLOR! Here’s my point: Your presentation has a purpose. Everything you put in it should work towards that purpose. So be clear. Only use what you need. And create for your audience, not for you. @portentint  
  105. Ian Lurie @portentint www.portent.com HAVE I COMMITTED OTHER PRESENTATION HORRORS? YES. PAY ME, AND I MIGHT TELL YOU. I ACCEPT PAYMENTS IN CHOCOLATE AND CASH. Oh, also: Don’t try to extort your audience.
  106. Ian Lurie @portentint www.portent.com OTHER PRESENTATIONS I’VE DONE (PRETTY MUCH HORROR-FREE)

×