1. To understand the roots and causes of conflict To understand the potential of conflict for ill or for good To learn how to deal with conflicts through personal peacemaking To learn how to deal with conflicts through mediated peacemaking To follow God’s principles when conflicts cannot be resolved
2. Dealing with Conflicts Common “Reflexes”In times of conflict
3. Dealing with Conflicts• Fight – e.g. Cain, Gen 4:1-16• Flight – e.g. Jacob, Gen 27:41-28:9• Freeze – e.g. Joseph’s brothers, Gen 37:1-11• Form alliances – e.g. Potiphar, Gen 39:1-20
4. Dealing with Conflicts The RightBiblical Response
5. Dealing with Conflicts• Face it (Galatians 2:11-14) This can only happen if you’re goal is to glorify God by… Pursuing the will of God Practicing the grace of God Preserving the truth of God
6. Dealing with ConflictsTwo kinds of peacemaking
7. General Guidelines• Glorify God, not yourself (Colossians 3:1-4)• Remove the plank in your own eyes first (Matthew 7:3-5)• Personally speak with the person whom you have conflict with (Matthew 18:15-17)• Be reconciled with that person as soon as possible (Matthew 5:23-24)• Get rid of all negative feelings (Eph 4:31-32)
8. The Seven A’s1. Address the person concerned2. Avoid “if”, “but” and “maybe”3. Admit specifically (not generally)4. Acknowledge the hurt you caused5. Accept the consequences6. Alter your behavior7. Ask for forgiveness
9. Clarifying the Issue1. Tangible Issue An issue pertaining to differences. This must be handled through negotiation.2. Relational Issue An issue pertaining to offenses. This must be handled through peacemaking.
10. Negotiating Differences
11. The PEACE ProcessProblem behaviorEmotions involvedAssessment of motivesConfession and forgivenessEncouragement for the future
12. 4 Promises of Forgiveness1. I will not dwell on this incident anymore2. I will not bring this incident up and use it against you3. I will not talk to others about this incident4. I will not allow this incident to stand between us or hinder our relationship
13. The PEACE ProcessProblem behaviorEmotions involvedAssessment of motivesConfession and forgivenessEncouragement for the future
14. Dealing with ConflictsGroup Discussion:• What are your observations about the PEACE process?• What are the challenges of this process?• How can these challenges be overcome?