life skills

1. Unit 3: Communication and
Conflict
Part 4: Conflict
© Jenison International Academy
Melissa Rodgers

2. What are some things that you
argue about in your relationships?
Can you relate to any of these?
Home
Parents
Brother / Sister
Boy / girl friend
Best friend
Neighbor
School

3. Effects of Conflict
Conflict, which is unavoidable in human
life, is disruptive at best and horribly
destructive at worst – yet, some forms of
conflict have important benefits when
handled skillfully.
A value of conflict is the prevention of
stagnation. It “stirs things up” and in
some cases causes changes in a system to
occur and can make the situation better
for those involved.

4. Effects of Conflict
Conflict can destroy a relationship if
handled improperly
The challenge is to learn to manage
conflict in such a way as to minimize the
risks and maximize the benefits

5. Facts about Conflict
1. Conflict is manageable and predictable.
2. We do have a choice.
3. Some conflict may never be resolved
(agree to disagree)

6. Causes of Conflict
1. Communication problems
2. Differences in objectives (what something
is)
3. Differences in methodology (how
something is done)
4. Personality differences

7. Results of conflict
Constructive / Positive
1. Brings issues into open
2. Promotes self confidence
3. Strengthens relationships
4. Improves communication skills
5. Helps resolve problems logically

8. Results of conflict
Destructive / negative
1. Weakens relationships
2. Creates unpleasant living/working
environment
3. May be physically harmful
4. May damage self-esteem
5. May not resolve problem

9. Types of Conflict
1. Emotional conflict - the emotional components of
conflict include:
anger, distrust, defensiveness, fear, rejection,
envy
When involved in an emotional situation that results
in conflict, the first goal for conflict resolution is to
deal constructively with emotions. The conflict will
be solved once the person involved can get control of
his or her emotions to rational solutions.
Example: A friend tell your secret

10. Types of Conflict
2. Values conflict – values are ideas in which we hold
strong feelings. It is difficult to resolve a conflict of
values because there is nothing concrete involved. The
person involved in a conflict of values must reason it out
for themselves. A useful strategy in resolving values
conflict is to attempt to see the situation from the other
person’s point of view. This could lead to a better
understanding of each other. A clash of values can lead
to an emotional conflict.
Example: fight about religion or morals

11. Types of Conflict
3. Needs conflict – needs conflict arises when what you
want interferes with those around you. Examples of
needs conflict arise everyday. Normally they are viewed
as minor irritants and are quickly resolved though some
sort of compromise.
Example: your mom wants you to clean the house, but
you want to hang out with a friend

12. Rules for managing conflict
1. Don’t fight to win – come up with a solution where there
are no losers. The result should be a win-win solution.
2. Be sure you understand what the cause of the conflict is
– make sure you and the person you have a conflict with
are talking about the same thing.
3. Take care of a problem when in comes up – do not let
the problem “bottle up” inside you, if you do that, the
problem may become much worse

13. Rules for managing conflict
4. Handle only one conflict at a time – do not bring up
other problems you have with the person.
5. Don’t blame others for problems you are having with
someone else – only involve the people who are part of the
original problem.
6. Think before you speak – is your filter on? May you
regret what you say later?
7. Never hit another person to get your way – physical
violence is never the answer and will only make the problem
worse

14. Rules for managing conflict
8. Listen to what the other person has to say – use active
listening skills and truly listen to the other person instead
of thinking what you are going to say next.
9. Once the conflict has been resolved, forgive and
forget – this can be hard to do, but once it is resolved, no
need to bring it up again, especially if another conflict
arises.