An unlikely hero begins to bring the Sims Medieval into the Renaissance.

1. A Squeaky Clean Renaissance
Prolegomenon: An unlikely hero arrives to bring the Sim World
out of the Dark Ages.

2. Cecilia Goodytwoshoes peacefully wound up her father Cecil’s
beloved clock, seemingly unaware of the heated debate taking place
between her father and her son, Maximilian, on the floor above.

3. “You have finally gone irretrievably mad.”

4. “Not a bit of it. The Legacy is over and requires no effort from me.
I must have an occupation.”

5. “Others may benefit from a devotion to proper ideals and from
a work ethic that, though I say it myself, has always been remarkable.
The conclusion is inescapable and practical.”

6. “Practical, Grandpapa? Or inflated with hubris teetering on
the edge of madness from the time you were a child? You even
gave speeches on the subject: speeches with no audience.”

7. “My father may have lost his empire, but I intend to make a new one, and what better
way than by aggrandizing that of other peoples? This is my dream: from Veronaville
in the north to Strangetown in the south, it shall be all Cecil’s.”

8. “That was your goal: Empire. The legacy house was a means to an end. You
were never interested in something as petty as a mere Legacy takeover. You
were going to acquire the entire Sim world, and ‘improve’ it for its own good.”

9. “You went to the lengths of finding a diamond mine to finance
your vision.”

10. “With limitless wealth at your disposal and your own efforts, you would
be able to colonize the entire Sim World as you planned.”

11. “Ah, well. If you have determined to leave, I cannot dissuade you.
Where was it that you had intended to go?”

12. And so it was that Cecil confided a part of his vision: an action
unusual for him.

13. He spoke at some length.

14. Dragons came into it.

15. “As I thought: utter, complete madness.”

16. “You intend to travel back in time to improve the Middle Ages?”
“I intend to bring about a Renaissance of higher culture. To as many
civilizations as possible.”

17. “You will be killed, you know.”
“I do not think so.”

18. “Since I determined on this course of action, I have been in
continual practice.”

19. “I am, moreover, not as unaware of the culture and its privations
as you may think.”

20. “In point of fact, on a previous occasion—”
“There was a previous occasion?”
“Do not raise your voice, Maximilian—I flatter myself that I did rather
well.”

21. “You will disturb the nature of causality.”
“Such things do not occur to the well-organized.”

22. “I cannot persuade you otherwise, Grandpapa?”
“You cannot.”

23. “I have one final piece of counsel.”

24. “Do not pine. Take action or do not.”
“I have no idea to what you are referring.”
“Ah. And with that, you prove that you are beyond all
doubt my grandchild.”

25. “Goodbye, Grandpapa.”

26. The balloon gave itself to the four winds-, floating high above Cecil’s
Italianate Gothic villa--

27. --over and across the ancient, mysterious henge which had always lurked
in the distance.

28. At last, picked up by a strong North Wind and blown wildly
into uncharted territory, the balloon came to rest in a dark forest.

29. And Cecil walked out of it and into a different world.

30. Long live King Cecil I, Lord of Puritania.

31. Hello—this is Professor Butters. That’s the Watcher to you, buddy. Like
most Watchmaker gods, I don’t intend to become involved, so you won’t
be hearing very much from me.

32. Cecil is a rather flamboyant spare from my legacy, the Squeaky Clean Legacy. Cecil’s
great ambition, like his namesake, Cecil Rhodes, was to found a great Empire in
order to spread Squeaky Clean Values throughout the Sim World. Therefore, Cecil
shall single-handedly bring about the Renaissance out of the Sims Medieval.

33. Note: Cecil will be completing the Imperial Domination Ambition
(annex all territories) while maximizing Knowledge and Culture. Since
functionally he will be completing two Ambitions at once, and not very
compatible ones at that, I don’t have a problem with cheating myself the QP
sufficient for both, do you?
I will also be using “reroll quests” (because it is stupid not to have some
options) and debugging cheats when things happen like the King getting stuck
in the woods. Otherwise, it shall be played as it lays.
Hear ye the edicts—
There is a monarchy as long as there is a Cecil. If he is eaten, hurled into the
Pit of Judgment, poisoned, or assassinated, the monarchy comes to an end and
the kingdom is done.
The story will stick to, or be stuck to, the limitations of the game. That
includes the quests, and also includes limits on staging scenes, camera angles,
etc.

34. The story will probably come as a much of a surprise to me as to you. Names, concepts,
and storylines will be inspired by Spenser’s The Faerie Queene and other Renaissance texts,
because what else is an expensive edumacation for? Cecil will be the one carryover
character from my or anyone else’s legacy: there will be new characters whom hopefully you
will come to enjoy and love.

35. As for maintaining his Goodytwoshoes values, naturally Cecil will. . .to a point.
The Renaissance was even worse than the Middle Ages, if you believe what you see
on Showtime. Our friend Machiavelli was right:
“Because how one ought to live is so far removed from how one lives . . . a man who
might want to make a show of goodness in all things necessarily comes to ruin among
so many who are not good. Because of this it is necessary for a prince, wanting to
maintain himself, to learn how to be able to be not good and to use this and not use it
according to necessity.”
Sometimes goodness is a luxury you can’t afford.

36. Cecil will also slay a dragon at some point. This is mandatory.
Explicit Prolegomenon.

37. Credits
Opening picture: Ambrosius Holbein’s map of Sir Thomas More’s
Utopia
Faerie Queene illustration: Walter Crane (?) (slightly edited)
Statue: Niccolo Machiavelli, Uffizi Gallery
Passages adapted from the Squeaky Clean Legacy, ch. 15.3, Death on a
Cracker; reference to A Squeaky Clean Opera (adaptation of Puccini’s
Gianni Schicchi)
Printer’s mark, Sacrobosco