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Bully Neutralizer


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Sponsored by I help schools target bullies in an attempt to reduce bullying behaviors on campus. Free resources are included in this presentation to help teachers …

Sponsored by I help schools target bullies in an attempt to reduce bullying behaviors on campus. Free resources are included in this presentation to help teachers discipline the bully.

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  • 1. Make Your Class a “Bully Free Zone” Presenter: Shannon J. Holden
  • 2. Overview of Today’s Session • • • • • What is bullying? Who are the bullies? Bullying in your classroom Bullying outside of your classroom Cyberbulling
  • 3. Overview of Today’s Session • • • • What YOU can do about bullying Why efforts to stop bullying have failed The cost of bullying Bullying resources
  • 4. Stop Bullying at Your School! • Check out a FREE lesson from my latest online course for students and teachers called “Bully Neutralizer” • • This course educates students and teachers, and protects administrators from lawsuits!
  • 5. What is Bullying? • Bullying can take many forms: – Physical (pushing, punching, tripping, kicking) – Irritation (flicking, poking, tapping, slapping) – Humiliation (I took your stuff, slapped books) – Pranks (elected SN girl to homecoming court) – Words (name-calling, rumor-spreading, threats) – Exclusion (I’m having a party…you aren’t invited) – Cyber (texts, FB posts, embarrassing pics) • It is difficult to stop because it can occur anytime, anywhere
  • 6. Who Are the Bullies? • • • • It’s not just the big kid Kids feel power in groups The “Queen Bee” will attack when threatened Kids will say stuff online they would never say to someone’s face • Younger kids put their hands on other people as a form of communication (and they don’t think of it as bullying when they are doing it)
  • 7. Flickety-Slappy-Tap • I wrote an article about how kids communicate through touch called “FlicketySlappy-Tap” •
  • 8. Flickety Slappy-Tap • FST is difficult to deal with because students really don’t think it is bullying • The victim will sometimes do the same thing to other kids, but report the treatment to their parents when it happens to them • Kids don’t understand the difference about FST when they do it to kids that are NOT their friend
  • 9. “We Were Just Playing Around” • Kids bully others, then give the excuse “We were just playing around” when you call them on it • I wrote an article about this! • • I love calling parents and they say “Johnny said he was just playing around” as if YOU are the problem for having the audacity to interrupt their child’s play time
  • 10. Bullying in Your Classroom • The rule in your classroom should be this: • “Do not touch anyone else, or their stuff” • Students should not give their opinion of other students, or the quality of another student’s answers during class • NEVER laugh when a student makes fun of another student! • You should tell students to THINK before they speak
  • 11. THINK Before You Speak • • • • • • T – Is it true? H – Is it helpful? I – Is it inspiring? N – Is it necessary? K – Is it kind? This is what you should tell your students to do before they speak in your classroom • Bring harsh consequences to those who violate this policy
  • 12. Bullying Outside of Your Classroom • You may think that you have no control of bullying that happens outside of your classroom • Make your classroom a “safe haven” for victims • Patrol the hallway during class changes to spot hallway bullying and “Flickety SlappyTap”
  • 13. Bullying Outside of Your Classroom • Report incidents to the office immediately • Speak to students (and their parents) if you observe them bullying or “Playing Around”
  • 14. Cyberbullying • In the olden days, there wasn’t much school officials could do about cyberbullying • Many states have passed laws giving school officials the power to punish cyberbullies if it can be proven that the cyberbullying “caused substantial disruption to the educational environment” • As an administrator, I have bullied students print out the FB posts, texts, tweets, or emails from the bully, and use it as evidence
  • 15. What YOU Can Do About Bullying • Don’t sit around and say “Stop, bullies!” like everyone else • DO something! • Report bullies to administration • Monitor students during class changes, during class, and in the cafeteria • Call parents of bullies to let them know how their child is acting at school • Let victims know that they can report to you
  • 16. Addressing the “Culture of Silence” • There is a culture in most schools that discourages students from coming forward • “Snitches get stitches” • To become a “trusted” adult, you cannot reveal who is giving you information
  • 17. Becoming a “Trusted” Adult • Once you achieve “Trusted” status, your credibility in the building goes WAY up for three reasons: – Students know they can come to you – You are aware of most of the things happening in the school – Students KNOW you know what’s going on • I would say that you have “Street Cred”, but I have been told that the term is no longer used :)
  • 18. How to Report to the Office • If the school has security cameras: – “Just a heads-up in case you get a phone call – I saw Billy Zimmerman put another kid in a head lock by Room 44 at 1:18 pm today.” • If the school does not have security cameras: – “Just a heads-up in case you get a phone call – I saw Billy Zimmerman put another kid in a head lock today in between 5th & 6th Period. The victim was Sam Jones. If you could keep his name out of it he would really appreciate it.”
  • 19. Addressing Parents of Bully • NEVER tell a parent that their child is a bully • They will not believe you, and they will not listen to another word you say • Tell the parent “Your child is being unkind to other students” or “Your child is exhibiting behaviors that could turn into bullying if we don’t do something now”
  • 20. Addressing Parents of Victim • Tell parents that their child has to report to an adult every time they are bullied, so something can be done about it • Bad advice parents give their kids: – “Hit the bully back” – “Carry a weapon for protection” – “Don’t tell on the bully, it will just make it worse” – “That school doesn’t do anything about bullying” • Assure parent that something will be done
  • 21. Why Efforts to Stop Bullying Have Failed • We never focus on the bully! • I find tons of products that target – The Victim – The Bystanders – Parents of the Victim – School Personnel – The Community • MY product targets the source of the problem – the bully and his/her parents!
  • 22. Bullying Resources • “Bully Neutralizer” is a course that schools are using to punish, educate, and rehabilitate bullies (and their parents)
  • 23. Advice For Victims • Stay with your friends or in a group – Try not to end up in the bathroom alone • Walk confidently with your head held high – Bullies target the weak and unsure
  • 24. Advice For Victims • Answer the bully in a calm way – Don’t act like the bully is intimidating you • Don’t let the bully see that you are upset – The bully is trying for a reaction from you – If you react, it will embolden the bully to keep doing whatever it is that bothered you
  • 25. Advice For Victims • Avoid places where bullying happens – Hallway that may not be supervised – Empty classrooms – Bathroom • Don’t try to get even or carry a weapon for protection – Bad advice – Will get YOU in trouble – Takes the focus away from the bully and puts it on you
  • 26. Advice For Victims • Tell an adult such as a teacher, parent, bus driver, or neighbor – Keep telling so that something can be done – It is not “tattling” • Walk away and ignore the bully – The BEST advice
  • 27. Advice For Victims • Remind yourself that the bully has the problem….not you – You are not the only one this person is bullying – Bullies will have problems in later life
  • 28. Advice For Victims • Don’t “Play Around” with others…even your friends! • If you are known as a person who likes to push, poke, tap, slap other people – a bully will do it to you and use “We were just playing around” as an excuse
  • 29. Advice For Bystanders • Encourage bullied student to tell an adult what happened – Offer to go with the student to the office or nurse – Explain that if it isn’t reported, no one can do anything about it – Explain that others will be tormented by the bully if nothing is done
  • 30. Advice For Bystanders • Speak up and tell the bully to stop – Try to say it in a way that doesn’t make the bully mad, or think you are challenging the bully – “You wouldn’t like it if someone did the same thing to you”
  • 31. Advice For Bystanders • Refuse to be a part of the bullying – Laughing at the actions of the bully lets people know that you agree with what is being done – Standing by and watching lets people know that you agree with what is being done – One day it may be YOU that is being bullied… would you want people to stand around and laugh as YOU are humiliated?
  • 32. Advice For Bystanders • Be friendly & helpful to the person being bullied – Offer to help pick up the books thrown on the ground by the bully – Offer to be a witness when they go to the office – Offer to walk the victim to the nurse
  • 33. The Cost of Bullying • Numerous young people commit suicide every year due to bullying • This has led several states to strengthen their stance on bullying
  • 34. New State Laws • Old laws (like Title IX) said that schools could be held responsible for damages if “they knew about the bullying and did nothing” • New laws in several states now say schools could be held responsible for damages if “they knew or should have known….and did not take effective action” against the bully • A whole bunch of educators are about to get sued when parents find out!
  • 35. My Advice to Teachers & Administrators • Take steps against the bully, and document, document, document! • My product is great because it shows you took action against the bully and his/her parents
  • 36. Bully Neutralizer • I make students who engage in bullying behaviors take an online course I made • The course contains lessons, PowerPoints, videos, and online quizzes that the bully must pass in order to satisfactorily complete the course
  • 37. Bully Neutralizer • In extreme cases, I require a parent to take the course with their child • I document the fact that the child has taken the course • I keep this documentation in case the parents of a bullying victim attempt to sue me or the school for “not doing anything” to stop the bullying
  • 38. The Bullying Matrix • Included in my ebook is a creation I call “The Bullying Matrix” • It is the actual matrix that I use to reduce bullying behaviors at my Middle School in Missouri • I give the matrix to parents, and let them know what level their child is on
  • 39. The Bullying Matrix • The matrix is a series of steps, each one includes a more intrusive action against the bully • Each step includes a documentation piece • Parents actually like the matrix because there are no surprises
  • 40. “Just Say No” • Lots of celebrities are lending a hand to end bullying • Here’s what they do: “Bullying HAS to stop!” • I admire their effort, but they have no idea how to address this complex issue • “Stop, bullies!” has solved our bullying problem about as effectively as “Just Say No” has solved our drug problem
  • 41. My Attempt… • I have written reproducible documents with steps to help: – Bullying victims – The “bully” – Parents of victims – Parents of the bully – School administrators – Teachers – Bystanders • Print them out…hand them out!
  • 42. For More Information • If you need more information, or help with implementing the “Bully Neutralizer” program, contact me at • • Put “Bully Neutralizer” as the subject of your email, and I will send you the ebook for FREE!