When an ego state is dictating a person’s behavior, that ego state is said to have executive power. When a person experiences himself to be in a particular ego state, we say he is experiencing that ego state as his real self.
2. Prepared By
Manu Melwin Joy
Research Scholar
School of Management Studies
CUSAT, Kerala, India.
Phone – 9744551114
Mail – manu_melwinjoy@yahoo.com
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3. Introduction
• For simplicity, we
usually assume that a
person can be in only
one ego state at a time.
• In reality, it is possible
for someone to behave
in a way that fits one
ego state, while he
experiences himself as
being in a different ego
state.
4. Example
• Imagine that I am at work,
discussing a planned
assignment with a colleague.
• For the first few minutes of
the discussion, I have my
attention fully on the task in
hand.
• If you were watching my
behavioral signals, you
would make a secure
judgment that I am in Adult.
• My own internal experience
also is that I am in Adult –
responding to the here and
now, exchanging and
assessing information.
5. Example
• But as the talk goes longer and
longer, I begin to feel bored.
• I say to myself in my head “ I
wish I were out of here. It is
such a nice day outside – I did
rather be taking a walk in the
fresh air. But I don’t suppose I
can…”.
• Now I am experiencing my
child.
• I am replaying times from my
school days when I had sat
indoors in class, feeling bored
with the lesson and wishing I
could go out and play.
6. Example
• Bored though I feel, I keep
on with the job in hand.
• As you observe my behavior,
you see me continuing to
exchange information.
• Thus outwardly, I am still
behaving in Adult. But my
behavior no longer fits with
the ego state I am
experiencing.
• To describe this situation,
Berne suggested a
distinction between the
executive and real self.
7. Real and executive
• When an ego state is
dictating a person’s
behavior, that ego state
is said to have executive
power.
• When a person
experiences himself to
be in a particular ego
state, we say he is
experiencing that ego
state as his real self.
8. Real and executive
• Most often, the ego state with
executive power will also be
experienced as the real self.
• In the example, initially I had
executive power in Adult and
simultaneously experienced
Adult as my real self.
• But then, as I began to feel
bored, I shifted my experience
of real self into my Child ego
state.
• Nevertheless, I continued to
act in a way that was
consistent with Adult.
• Thus I kept executive power in
the latter ego state.
9. Real and executive
• Suppose my work colleague
had kept up the discussion
for even longer, I might the
have yawned and lost track
of what he said.
• As he waited for me to reply
to one of his points, I might
have blushed and said “Oh,
Sorry, I am afraid, I wasn’t
with you”.
• Now I would have executive
power in Child while also
experiencing Child as real
self.
10. Activity
• Make up at least three
more examples which
illustrate someone
having executive power
in one ego state while
experiencing a different
ego state as her real
self.
• Do you recall any
examples of this from
your own experience in
the past week?