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The Lies That Bind
The Legacy of the Locks®
A Cognitive Restructuring and Resocialization Program
© Copyright2005-2013 Anneshia Freeman
All Rights Reserved
Anneshia Freeman MBA, MSW, CADC-M
Program Director
- AKA -
The Locksmith
The Lies That Bind®
Substance Abuse
Working With Substance Abusing
Mothers
© Copyright2005-2013 Anneshia Freeman
All Rights Reserved
www.anneshiaconsulting.com
Who Am I Drunk and High
That I’m Not Clean and Sober?
The Dr. Jekyll
Mr. Hyde Syndrome
The cause and effect methodology of
treating addiction
The most useful piece of learning for the
uses of life is to unlearn what is untrue.
- Antisthenes
If knowing the truth will set you free, it
must be a lie that has you bound.
- Anneshia Freeman
Training Agenda
•The unconscious self-concept
• Dr. R. Joseph
• Dr. Ed Smith
•The psychological aspect of addiction
• The cope and suppress factor
•The legacy of the locks
• How issues are passed from one generation to the
next
•The keys to the locks
• Assisting people in reprogramming the way they
think and live
• Strategic parenting
2
According to Dr. R. Joseph
Noted expert in fields of neurology and
psychology
Dr. R. Joseph
The Unconscious Self-Concept
The manner in which we were treated as children and how
our parents treated each other, good or bad, was observed,
responded to emotionally, and stored away in memory. If we
were neglected, abused, ignored, teased, or ridiculed and
made to feel bad, insignificant, or incompetent by our parents
or other children, these feelings, hurts, and fears not only
define us, they are stored away and become part of us.
These experiences become familiar, and to a child who has
little with which to compare them, they seem “normal.” (Joseph,
1992, p. 6)
From the Right Brain and the Unconscious by Rhawn Joseph Copyright © 1992
Reprinted by permission of Perseus Books PLC, a member of Perseus Books, LLC
Isn’t it true that by their fruit you shall know
them……?
Yes, but it is also true that by their roots shall you
understand and not judge them
- Dr. David Seamands
Wound Transmission – Mental/Emotional
• Taunted
• Ignored
• Ridiculed
• Unrealistic expectations
• Threat of punishment for slightest infraction
• Made to feel responsible for adult behaviors and feelings
Wound Transmission - Physical
•Physical abuse
• Kicked
• Stomped
• Dragged by hair
• Tied to polls naked and beaten
• Locked in closets, basements
• Put in scalding hot water
• Beaten with extensions cords, belts, anything they could
get their hands on
• Beaten with fist
• Slapped
• Spit in the face
Wound Transmission - Verbal
•Verbal abuse
• You are stupid
• You will never be anything
• I hate you
• I wish I had never had you
• You make me sick
• I can’t stand you
• Get out of my sight
• Dumb W----
• Dumb B-----
• Stupid mother------
• I should have killed you when I had the chance
3
Wound Transmission - Sexual
• Sexual abuse
• Oral sex
• Giving and receiving
• Fondled
• Sexual intercourse
• Being sold to drug dealers
• Being given to boyfriends
• Multiple abusers
• Behavior normalized
Abuse – a natural state!
“You are hurting yourself!”
Dr. R. Joseph
The Unconscious Self-Concept
Part II
Children, like adults, define themselves according to how they
are treated, and then they attempt to live up, or down, to the
labels and expectations others apply. It is on these emotional
building blocks that our entire self-concept is erected.
We never outgrow our foundations; rather, we build on them.
And foundations do not disappear or go away; they just tend
to get buried. Nevertheless, our entire future rests on these
foundations. (Joseph, 1992, p. 6)
From the Right Brain and the Unconscious by Rhawn Joseph Copyright © 1992
Reprinted by permission of Perseus Books PLC, a member of Perseus Books, LLC
Our Foundations
sexual
abuse
welfare
unrealistic
expectations
physical,
mental
abuse
promiscuity
prostitution
unrealistic
expectations
unrealistic expectations
physical, mental
abuse
welfare
welfare
mental
abuse
physical
abuse
Childhood
Teenage Years
Adult
love
trust
education
values
teaching principles
education
values
teaching principles
loving
relationships
exercise
career
planning
college is
grade 13
career introduction
careers
Loving
relationships
degree
We are the system
design and profit off the system
Childhood
healthy eating
healthy eating
healthy eating
trust
exercise
exercise
healthy eating
unhealthy eating
unhealthy eating
diabetes,
obesity
prison
Dr. R. Joseph
The Unconscious Self-Concept
Part III
Hence, a great deal of this early experience, including
children’s initial self-concept and all attendant joys, triumphs,
traumas, and bad feelings, is internalized and stored away in
that portion of the psyche that is not controlled by the
language-dependent conscious mind, that is the unconscious.
Infants and children are more emotional in their psychological
orientation. Verbal thinking and the maturation of the
conscious mind (which is heavily dependent on language and
linguistic processing) develop much later. Emotions and
nonconscious functioning are present from the very
beginning. (Joseph, 1992, p. 7)
From the Right Brain and the Unconscious by Rhawn Joseph Copyright © 1992
Reprinted by permission of Perseus Books PLC, a member of Perseus Books, LLC
I Feel You – More Than I Hear You!
Rejected Despised HurtInadequate Unattractive
You are in the
way
You will be
punished for the
slight infraction
You are stupid
You can’t do
anything right
Peers
You are fat
You have big ears
You are ugly
4
Dr. R. Joseph
The Unconscious Self-Concept
Part III
Blah, blah, blah • You’re in the way
• rejected
• People are only
tolerating you
• hurt
• Compared to others, you
come up short
• inadequate
• You are unlovable
• unloved
Right Brain - Child
Unconscious
Emotions
Tone of voice
Facial expressions
Body language
Left Brain – Adult
Conscious
Language
Left Brain
Confabulations
• I’m straight
• I’m cool
• I ain’t the one!
Right Brain Script
Conscious Script
• Be happy
• Feel loved
• Have friends that I can trust
• Be respected
• Have all the things I need and
not have to worry about $
Right Brain - Child
Unconscious
Emotions
Tone of voice
Facial expressions
Body language
Left Brain – Adult
Conscious
Language
Left Brain
Confabulations
Unconscious Script
 Feel miserable
 Be mistreated by people
 Be betrayed by people close
to me
 Feel rejected, hurt, abused
 Be poor and struggle
If one asks for success and prepares for failure,
he will get the situation he has prepared for.
- Florence Scovel Shinn
Dr. R. Joseph
Unconscious Influences
Because of these unconscious influences, some people seek
out experiences or people who will create the same familiar
“not OK” emotional atmosphere that was an earlier part of
their existence. Even if unpleasant, the familiar is easier to
accept than what is unfamiliar. By re-creating the past, they
also get one more chance to “fix” that problem or to obtain
the love they were denied. Unfortunately, if these early
experiences are maintained predominantly in the right brain,
the left half of the adult cerebrum may have little or no
knowledge of their presence and influence. (Joseph, 1992, p. 173)
From the Right Brain and the Unconscious by Rhawn Joseph Copyright © 1992
Reprinted by permission of Perseus Books PLC, a member of Perseus Books, LLC
Unconscious Choices
Conscious Agenda - Friend
• Loyal
• Dependable
• Loving/caring
• Trustworthy
• Considerate
• Sensitive
• Generous
Right Brain - Child
Unconscious
Emotions
Tone of voice
Facial expressions
Body language
Left Brain – Adult
Conscious
Language
Left Brain
Confabulations
Unconscious Agenda - Friend
 Disloyal
 Unreliable
 Mean/cold
 Untrustworthy
 Inconsiderate
 Insensitive
 Stingy/user/self-centered
Unconscious Choices
Conscious Agenda - Mate
• Faithful
• Strong
• Responsible
• Loving/caring
• Good sense of humor
• Sensitive
• Determined
Right Brain - Child
Unconscious
Emotions
Tone of voice
Facial expressions
Body language
Left Brain – Adult
Conscious
Language
Left Brain
Confabulations
Unconscious Agenda - Mate
 Unfaithful
 Weak
 Irresponsible
 Cold/callous
 Humorless
 Insensitive
 Quitter/No drive
5
Unconscious Agenda – Mate
Emotional Atmosphere
Characteristic Resulting Emotion
Unfaithful Humiliated, suspicious
Weak Frustrated, cynical
Irresponsible Nervous, unsure
Cold/callous Rejected, miserable
Humorless Depressed, sad
Insensitive Hurt, indignant
Quitter/no drive Manipulated, exhausted
Unconscious Choices
Conscious Agenda - Mate
• Faithful
• Strong
• Responsible
• Loving/caring
• Good sense of humor
• Sensitive
• Determined
Right Brain - Child
Unconscious
Emotions
Tone of voice
Facial expressions
Body language
Left Brain – Adult
Conscious
Language
Left Brain
Confabulations
Unconscious Agenda - Mate
 Unfaithful
 Weak
 Irresponsible
 Cold/callous
 Humorless
 Insensitive
 Quitter – No drive
When I Was a Child……
•Children defined themselves according to how they
are treated
•They try to live up or down to the labels and
expectations others applied to them
•They are ruled by the immediacy of emotions
•They do not analyze or process their experiences in
the manner that an adult would process similar
information
Anneshia’s Unconscious Self-Concept
My value as a person is directly related to my latest and greatest performance
I have to be perfect
I have to do everything perfectly
Hurry up! Move it! I have to do everything right now – fast!
There is something wrong with me
Personal safety requires isolation
I have to compensate for my presence with goods and services
People are only tolerating me
There is something wrong with everything I do
I have to explain myself at all times because I am suspect
I am at the mercy of other people’s decisions
I am suppose to automatically know things that I was never taught
Compare to others, I come up short
The only interest a man will ever have in me is sexual
What other people think is more important than what I think or know
What other people say carries more weight than what I say
Everybody is more important than me
I am not good enough to be smart – everyone will think I cheated
I am in the way
Everything I do will turn out wrong
Dr. R. Joseph
The Unconscious Parent
The mind of the child is malleable. Impressions are easily
made and maintained. Indeed, just as an impression of
someone hand can be left in wet cement, the impressions
made by our parents also make an impression in the very
malleable, as yet unformed psyche (mind) of the child. These
linked impressions stay with us forever in the form of the
internalized Parent, which continues to exert influences
similar to those exerted by our parents, but within the
confines of our own psyche (mind) (Joseph 1992, p. 175).
From the Right Brain and the Unconscious by Rhawn Joseph Copyright © 1992
Reprinted by permission of Perseus Books PLC, a member of Perseus Books, LLC
The Unconscious Parent
Mistreats us
Makes us pick
people who
mistreat us
Makes us mistreat
others who allow
us
6
Dr. R. Joseph
The Unconscious Child
Just as the living tree retains its early core, within the core of
each of us is the Child that we once were. This Child
constitutes the foundation of what we have become, who we
are, and what we will be.
Although as adult we have grown, matured, had new
experiences, assumed new responsibilities, changed our
minds over a thousand times, and done and said things we
swore we never would, the Child at our central core remains
the child it always was. This Child continues to harbor the
same feelings, emotions, resentments, frustrations, and
memories that were present during childhood. It is, in fact, a
complex of the emotional and experiential associations that
constitutes a significant part of our early life.
(Joseph 1992, p. 166).
From the Right Brain and the Unconscious by Rhawn Joseph Copyright © 1992
Reprinted by permission of Perseus Books PLC, a member of Perseus Books, LLC
The Unconscious Child
Feelings Frustrations
Resentments Memories
The Unconscious Parent
& The Unconscious Child Interactions Lie Panoramic View
• The lie with your children
• People are only tolerating you
• The lie with your significant other
• Compared to others, you come up short
• The lie with your so-called friends
• You have to compensate for your presence with goods and services
• The lie at work or school
• You have to assume the responsibilities of others
• The lie with random encounters
• You are at the mercy of other people’s decisions
The Drunk or High View
• The lie and your children
• People are only tolerating you
• Get the hell out of my house!
• The lie and your significant other
• Compared to others. you come up short
• Let me tell you something…
• The lie and so-called friends
• You have to compensate for your presence with goods and services
• All you sorry, low-down, good for nothing…
• The lie at work or school
• You have to assume the responsibilities of others
• Email…you lazy, bums…
• The lie and random encounters
• You are at the mercy of other people’s decisions
• Where are my car keys…I’m going to check this heifer…
The Legacy of the Locks
7
The Passing of the Locks
• Osmotic conditioning
• Criticize and complain – seek no solutions – there aren’t any
• Being poor and struggling is a way of life
• Any sort of mate is better than no mate
• You can’t change your reality so change your perception of reality –
drugs/alcohol
• Thematic conditioning
• People are only tolerating you
• Compared to others you come up short
• Learning is associated with pain and humiliation
• Figure everything out for yourself – I’m busy
• You better get a good grade or else………………..
• A, BAM, B, BAM, C, BAM
Dr. Ed Smith
How The Lies Affect Our Adult Lives
• It affects the way we interpret life around us
• Lies affect the way we choose relationships
• Lies create perpetual life themes that replay over and over
every time the memory is accessed whether consciously or
unconsciously
• The lie will cause the pain, shame, guilt, fear, etc. to be
transferred into present relationships, hindering intimacy
• The lie will create an insatiable void which the person will
seek to fill with others things such as people, money,
careers, sex, food, pleasure, etc.
"This information was borrowed with permission from the Theophostic Prayer Ministry (TPM) Basic seminar training manual,
New Creation Publishing, 1996, 2000. This program is not affiliated or endorsed by TPM.
Complete training in the Theophostic process is available at www.theophostic.com or by calling 270-465-3757.
Please do not attempt to use the TPM approach without completing the basic coursework."
Unconscious Belief + Directives =
Self-Defeating Behaviors
UnconsciousBeliefs
1. Being poor and
struggling is a way of
life
2. Being involvedwith the
system is a normal way
of life
3. Self-worth is connected
to material possessions
4. What others think is
more important than
what you know
5. Higher education is not
important, accessible,
or attainable
6. The “game” is the way
out
Directives
1. Make daily decisions based on the
policies and procedures of the
poor/survivemode
2. Your resources for survival are
obtained at human service agencies
3. Make financial decisions that MAKE
others (in the hood with the same
values as you) admire and respect
you so you will have worth and
value as a person in your
community
4. Make choices that make others
THINK you have money – you know
different
5. Don’t even consider college as an
option – not happening dude!
6. Sell dope, be the dope man’s girl or
be the dope girl, prostitute,
strip/dance, steal, cheat,
manipulate, etc.
Self-defeating Behaviors
1. Watch TV for hours, gossip with
your friends, complain for hours
about your lot in life, spend
hours looking for assistance from
various agencies – waste time
& energy
2. Go from agency to agency
obtaining resources to survive
3. Spend money on hair, clothes,
gym shoes, furniture, cars, etc.
4. Buy high priced designer
clothing, spend money at the
club, treat others to dinner
5. Accept low paying jobs or
welfare your entire life – be
miserable and unfulfilled – no
sense of purpose- seek relief in
drugs and alcohol
6. Live “large” for short increments
of time and then pay the price –
then do it all over again until
THE END!
Dr. R. Joseph
Unconscious Influences
Because of these unconscious influences, some people seek
out experiences or people who will create the same familiar
“not OK” emotional atmosphere that was an earlier part of
their existence. Even if unpleasant, the familiar is easier to
accept than what is unfamiliar. By re-creating the past, they
also get one more chance to “fix” that problem or to obtain
the love they were denied. Unfortunately, if these early
experiences are maintained predominantly in the right brain,
the left half of the adult cerebrum may have little or no
knowledge of their presence and influence. (Joseph, 1992, p. 173)
From the Right Brain and the Unconscious by Rhawn Joseph Copyright © 1992
Reprinted by permission of Perseus Books PLC, a member of Perseus Books, LLC
What Is The Game?
Dope Game
•Maslow’s Hierarchy of Need
• Basic – food, clothing, shelter
• Safety – crew, weapons, reputation
• Love/Belonging – $ buys love
• Self-esteem – status, respect, admiration
• Self-actualization – being the best you can be
• Best drug dealer
• Best prostitute
• Best murderer
•The game – good and bad needs
What is the Game?
Dope House
•Maslow’s Hierarchy of Need
• Basic – warmth, shelter, dope
• Safety – pimp, dope boys
• Love/Belonging – tribe
• Self-esteem – get that money girl
• Self-actualization – best “hoe” out there
•The game – mixture of good and bad needs
8
What is the Game?
Relationships
•Maslow’s Hierarchy of Need
• Basic – warmth, shelter, sex
• Safety – I got your back baby
• Love/Belonging – pseudo/conditional
• Self-esteem – That’s my girl – good looking out
• Self-actualization – Best woman I’ve ever had
•The game – mixture of good and bad needs
“Hood Scripts”
Conscious and Unconscious Scripts
The Dynamic Duo
Hood Script - Unconscious
• Being poor and struggling is a way of life
• Survival is the goal
• Being involved with the system is a way of life
• You are at the mercy of other people’s decisions
• Criticize and complain but don’t seek solutions –
there aren’t any
• Your value as a person is connected to material
possessions
• Higher education is not important, accessible, or
attainable – it is only part of a lofty dream speech
Conscious - Hood Script
•Your brand of gym shoe and clothing should be
your MAIN concern
•Knowing how to fight physically is a very
important skill and should be mastered
•We eat soul food
•We don’t exercise – white people stuff
•Jail/prison is a part of life
•The factory is a “GOOD” job
•The “game” is the way out
Impact of Poverty on Pregnancy
• Women living in poverty are likely
to begin having babies at an earlier
age and to have repeated
pregnancies – linked to low-birth
rates.
• Women with little education are
less likely to be aware of the risks of
smoking, alcohol, and drug use for
their babies and are more likely to
use substances.
• Less likely to have been vaccinated
against infectious diseases.
• Poverty is linked to maternal
malnutrition, higher rates of
infection, diabetes, and
cardiovascular diseases – linked to
low-birth weight.
Newman and Newman, 2009. Development Through Life:
A Psychosocial Approach: Belmont, CA: Wadsworth Cengage
Learning.
 Women have kids by different men
and the system takes care of them.
 Being poor and struggling is a way
of life.
 Higher education is not important,
accessible, or attainable.
 You are not important.
 What you eat is not important as
long as it tastes good.
 Exercise is not important – it’s too
much work.
 Using drugs and alcohol is a way of
life – a coping mechanism.
 Being involved with the system is a
way of life.
© Copyright 2005 Anneshia Freeman
All Rights Reserved
Poverty as a Lifestyle
• No sense of purpose or destiny
• Sense of
hopelessness/powerlessness
• Discontent…ongoing
continuous
• Limited or no recreational
activities
• No sense of self-actualization
• Passing on belief system to
children
• Unsafe environment
• Slumlords
• Neighborhood violence/gangs
• Drugs
9
Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome
Dr. Joy DeGruy-Leary
We are
powerless
We are
less than
We are
dependent
on them
http://joydegruy.com/resources-2/post-traumatic-slave-syndrome/
Unconscious Self-Concept
of a Slave
Right Brain Unconscious Script – Operating System
There is something wrong with us
People are only tolerating us
Compared to others, we come up short
White people are powerful – we are powerless
Criticizing and complaining is the only thing we can do
We are at the mercy of other people’s decisions – especially white people
We are suppose to automatically know things that we were never taught
We are stupid – They are smart
What other people think is more important than what we know or think
What other people says carries more weight than what we say
White people are more important than us
Our feelings are not important
People can do anything they want to us and we’d better not say anything
Unconscious Self-Concept
Slave – Post Slavery
•Segregation
•Plant
• ta-tion
•Media influences
•Inner-city subcultures
•Illegal opportunities structures
• Prison (plant-ta-tion)
•Erroneous information distribution network
How many know, understand, and believe
experts’ findings relating to the unconscious
mind?
Master Syndrome
They
need
us
We’re
taking care
of them
Slave and Master Programming
We are
powerless
We are
less than
We are
dependent
on them
They
need
us
We’re
taking care
of them
A Dissertation Waiting to HappenAnneshia’s Stuff
10
Dr. R. Joseph - Choice
Admittedly a person is capable of choosing only what he is
able to conceive. One cannot explore a road he does not
know exists. If a person is brought up in an environment
where mom and dad are alcoholics, drug addicts, or thieves
who are on welfare or frequently in jail; in an environment
where people are shot to death for merely being on the
street; in a society that worships sex, violence, and easy
money and that mocks those who strive for something better,
such an individual may be incapable of choosing to live his life
any differently. It simply would not occur to him. It would as
alien as living on the planet Mars and is thus not an option
and is almost impossible for him to consider. (Joseph, 1992, p. 367-
368)
From the Right Brain and the Unconscious by Rhawn Joseph Copyright © 1992
Reprinted by permission of Perseus Books PLC, a member of Perseus Books, LLC
The Elements of the Trap
Non-nutritious
Foods
Media
Influences
Erroneous/limited
Information
Illegal
Opportunity
Structures
Negative
Role
Models
Poverty
Peer
Pressure
Low
Self-esteem
PTSS
Post
Traumatic
Slave
Syndrome
Dominant
Culture
Status
Requirements
Dr. R. Joseph – A Way Out
Often, the only way out for individuals raised in
these circumstances is to become educated about
the alternatives available. However, they must also
be able to scrutinize their own lives so as to
recognize the maladaptive, self-destructive patterns
they have been engaging in. It will be very difficult
for them to change their behavior if they cannot
recognize it so as to avoid it. (Joseph, 1992, p. 368)
From the Right Brain and the Unconscious by Rhawn Joseph Copyright © 1992
Reprinted by permission of Perseus Books PLC, a member of Perseus Books, LLC
A Way Out!
If you don't like change, your going to like
irrelevance even less !
General Eric Shinseki Chief of Staff,
U. S. Army
A Way Out
•Education on unconscious vs. conscious
•Strength identification
• For the client and the provider
•Fear identification and cancellation
•Resocialization programs
•Role models
•New program structures
• No more acute care models for chronic problems
• Chronic models for chronic problems
•Self-assessment of providers
•Subculture competency
11
Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea,
never regains its original dimensions.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.
Strength Recognition
•Same thing – only different
• What are some negative behaviors you engage or
engaged in?
• What are some of the obstacles you encounter while
attempting to do those behaviors?
• What were some of the feelings you felt when faced with
the obstacles?
• How did you deal with the obstacles?
• How did you deal with the feelings?
Reprogramming - Strength Recognition
Obstacle Solution
Police Changed route, waited him out, took
chances, found alternative $ making
opportunities - CREATIVITY
Weather Dressed for it, changed perspective, used it
to look like damsel in distress -
ADAPTATION
New environment Negotiated, met new people, asked
questions, watched others - NETWORKED
Competition Act confident, refused to be discouraged,
waited them out –DETERMINATION
Fear Encouraged myself, took chances, pressed
through the fear - COURAGE
Ambiguous expectations Adjusted, asked for clarification, apologized,
accepted consequences and tried again -
PERSISTENT
Lack of resources Made do, creative, bargained - INGENUITY
Hood Geniuses
•Intelligence is relative
• Dynamic psychologist
• Act mean and complain
• Mathematical wizards
• Comic genius
• Opera singer
• Customer service strategies mastermind
• Quick minds
• Marketing expert
• 10 minute business plan with 100% ROI – 1 week
1985 -2000 Illegal Opportunities Structures, Detroit, MI
Participant-observation, Exploratory Ethnographic
Research Analyst
Responsibilities: included infiltrating the
management system of several subcultures,
researching and analyzing their strategic plan,
interviewing residents of subcultures, participating
in the mandatory daily activities required for
residency in that particular subculture (15 years)
which included ingesting large amounts of reality
altering pharmaceutical substances, daily
hypothesis testing - introducing an assortment of
variables, deprogramming residents while
systematically maintaining residency, and
consulting with upper level management regarding
their substandard security system.
PIMP Your Pain
Role Models For Parents & Children
•Role models from various backgrounds
• Education role models
• Business role models
• Parenting role models
• Self-esteem role models
• Positive relationships role models
• Debt liquidation role models
12
New Program Structure
Parents and Children
•Treat the cause and effect together
• We have the resources in place
•Structure the program towards exiting the system
• Our clients don’t have to keep being our clients
•Make thriving more accessible than surviving
• Challenge our self-defeating policies
•Teach the polices and procedures of thriving
• If they have a ear, let them hear
Strategic Parenting
© Copyright 2006 Anneshia Freeman
All Rights Reserved
Unconscious Belief
Method of
Transmission/To
You As A Child
Method of
Transmission/To
Your Children
New Belief
System
Method of
Deprogramming/
Reprogramming
Deprogram:
Reprogram:
Deprogram:
Reprogram:
Self-Assessment Of Providers
•What are my unconscious issues?
• How does that affect my work?
•What are my unconscious beliefs about the
population I work with?
• How does that affect my work?
•What are my conscious beliefs about the population
I work with?
• How does that affect my work?
What are Your Issues?
How Do They Affect Your Work?
• My unconsciousissues:
• I have to assume the
responsibilities of others
• A particular race or class of people
are not as capable as another race
or class
• People are only tolerating you
• Your self-worth is connected to
your performance
• My client’s unconscious issues:
• Expect others to do for you what you will
not do for yourself and get angry and
resentful if they don’t
• People don’t expect much from you so
that means you can’t do much
• If someone is being nice to you it’s a trick
– he or she has a hidden agenda
• You are at the mercy of other people’s
decisions
• Everything you do will turn out wrong
Subset-Subculture Definition
• African American
• Poor, middle class, upper middle class, upper class
• Poor
• Working poor
• Systems dependant poor
• Substandard residential setting
• Shelter poor
• Chronic street homeless
Subset-Subculture Definition
• System dependent poor
• Chemical Dependent
• Heroin Addict
• Cocaine
• Crack Cocaine
• Crack Cocaine Addicted
• Prostitutes
• Stick-up men
• Panhandlers
13
Engagement Strategies
•Take yourself off the throne sooner than later
•Be real with them
• If you don’t understand say you don’t
• Give your experience but don’t compare them if they are not
comparable
•Allow them to retract and come back
•Don’t be afraid to challenge them after you have built
a relationship with them
•Apologize if you are wrong
•Share your wound filter
Engagement Strategies
• Meet them where they’re at
• Take your time clock off of them
• Take regular society off the throne
• Give examples of societal blunders
• Engage them in society
• Dominant culture field trips
• Show them come from behind victory movies/plays
• Suggest books about people who were severely wounded and
healed and rose to victory
• A piece of Cake – The Cupcake Brown story
• The PACT
• Have a severely wounded survivor on staff
The Lies That Bind®
•Change the mindset
• Change the mind and the rest will follow
• Individuals will be empowered to take charge of their own lives
•Stop treating symptoms alone
• Chronic care models for chronic problems
•Help individuals learn practical living skills
• Intrapersonal skills – reprogram unconscious self-concept
• Interpersonal skills – how do I communicate with others
• Dominant culture navigation skills
• How do I thrive in the dominant culture?
• What are the polices and procedures?
• How can I adapt without sacrificing my individuality?
Painful Childhood
Bachelor’s Business
Summa Cum Laude
Master’s Business Administration
Summa Cum Laude
14
Master’s Social Work
Summa Cum Laude – KCP Fellow
Career Woman!
Featured on Inner Compass
Featured on 700 Club
Speaking at
Mending Hearts
Ministries
Presenting at University
of Toledo
Columnist Grand Rapids Times
Presenting at Youth Rally
Hosting “The Bright Side”
There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the
world, and that is an idea whose time has come
- Victor Hugo
New truths go through three stages. First they
are ridiculed, second they are violently
opposed, and then, finally, they are accepted
as
self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

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Substance Abuse

  • 1. 1 The Lies That Bind The Legacy of the Locks® A Cognitive Restructuring and Resocialization Program © Copyright2005-2013 Anneshia Freeman All Rights Reserved Anneshia Freeman MBA, MSW, CADC-M Program Director - AKA - The Locksmith The Lies That Bind® Substance Abuse Working With Substance Abusing Mothers © Copyright2005-2013 Anneshia Freeman All Rights Reserved www.anneshiaconsulting.com Who Am I Drunk and High That I’m Not Clean and Sober? The Dr. Jekyll Mr. Hyde Syndrome The cause and effect methodology of treating addiction The most useful piece of learning for the uses of life is to unlearn what is untrue. - Antisthenes If knowing the truth will set you free, it must be a lie that has you bound. - Anneshia Freeman Training Agenda •The unconscious self-concept • Dr. R. Joseph • Dr. Ed Smith •The psychological aspect of addiction • The cope and suppress factor •The legacy of the locks • How issues are passed from one generation to the next •The keys to the locks • Assisting people in reprogramming the way they think and live • Strategic parenting
  • 2. 2 According to Dr. R. Joseph Noted expert in fields of neurology and psychology Dr. R. Joseph The Unconscious Self-Concept The manner in which we were treated as children and how our parents treated each other, good or bad, was observed, responded to emotionally, and stored away in memory. If we were neglected, abused, ignored, teased, or ridiculed and made to feel bad, insignificant, or incompetent by our parents or other children, these feelings, hurts, and fears not only define us, they are stored away and become part of us. These experiences become familiar, and to a child who has little with which to compare them, they seem “normal.” (Joseph, 1992, p. 6) From the Right Brain and the Unconscious by Rhawn Joseph Copyright © 1992 Reprinted by permission of Perseus Books PLC, a member of Perseus Books, LLC Isn’t it true that by their fruit you shall know them……? Yes, but it is also true that by their roots shall you understand and not judge them - Dr. David Seamands Wound Transmission – Mental/Emotional • Taunted • Ignored • Ridiculed • Unrealistic expectations • Threat of punishment for slightest infraction • Made to feel responsible for adult behaviors and feelings Wound Transmission - Physical •Physical abuse • Kicked • Stomped • Dragged by hair • Tied to polls naked and beaten • Locked in closets, basements • Put in scalding hot water • Beaten with extensions cords, belts, anything they could get their hands on • Beaten with fist • Slapped • Spit in the face Wound Transmission - Verbal •Verbal abuse • You are stupid • You will never be anything • I hate you • I wish I had never had you • You make me sick • I can’t stand you • Get out of my sight • Dumb W---- • Dumb B----- • Stupid mother------ • I should have killed you when I had the chance
  • 3. 3 Wound Transmission - Sexual • Sexual abuse • Oral sex • Giving and receiving • Fondled • Sexual intercourse • Being sold to drug dealers • Being given to boyfriends • Multiple abusers • Behavior normalized Abuse – a natural state! “You are hurting yourself!” Dr. R. Joseph The Unconscious Self-Concept Part II Children, like adults, define themselves according to how they are treated, and then they attempt to live up, or down, to the labels and expectations others apply. It is on these emotional building blocks that our entire self-concept is erected. We never outgrow our foundations; rather, we build on them. And foundations do not disappear or go away; they just tend to get buried. Nevertheless, our entire future rests on these foundations. (Joseph, 1992, p. 6) From the Right Brain and the Unconscious by Rhawn Joseph Copyright © 1992 Reprinted by permission of Perseus Books PLC, a member of Perseus Books, LLC Our Foundations sexual abuse welfare unrealistic expectations physical, mental abuse promiscuity prostitution unrealistic expectations unrealistic expectations physical, mental abuse welfare welfare mental abuse physical abuse Childhood Teenage Years Adult love trust education values teaching principles education values teaching principles loving relationships exercise career planning college is grade 13 career introduction careers Loving relationships degree We are the system design and profit off the system Childhood healthy eating healthy eating healthy eating trust exercise exercise healthy eating unhealthy eating unhealthy eating diabetes, obesity prison Dr. R. Joseph The Unconscious Self-Concept Part III Hence, a great deal of this early experience, including children’s initial self-concept and all attendant joys, triumphs, traumas, and bad feelings, is internalized and stored away in that portion of the psyche that is not controlled by the language-dependent conscious mind, that is the unconscious. Infants and children are more emotional in their psychological orientation. Verbal thinking and the maturation of the conscious mind (which is heavily dependent on language and linguistic processing) develop much later. Emotions and nonconscious functioning are present from the very beginning. (Joseph, 1992, p. 7) From the Right Brain and the Unconscious by Rhawn Joseph Copyright © 1992 Reprinted by permission of Perseus Books PLC, a member of Perseus Books, LLC I Feel You – More Than I Hear You! Rejected Despised HurtInadequate Unattractive You are in the way You will be punished for the slight infraction You are stupid You can’t do anything right Peers You are fat You have big ears You are ugly
  • 4. 4 Dr. R. Joseph The Unconscious Self-Concept Part III Blah, blah, blah • You’re in the way • rejected • People are only tolerating you • hurt • Compared to others, you come up short • inadequate • You are unlovable • unloved Right Brain - Child Unconscious Emotions Tone of voice Facial expressions Body language Left Brain – Adult Conscious Language Left Brain Confabulations • I’m straight • I’m cool • I ain’t the one! Right Brain Script Conscious Script • Be happy • Feel loved • Have friends that I can trust • Be respected • Have all the things I need and not have to worry about $ Right Brain - Child Unconscious Emotions Tone of voice Facial expressions Body language Left Brain – Adult Conscious Language Left Brain Confabulations Unconscious Script  Feel miserable  Be mistreated by people  Be betrayed by people close to me  Feel rejected, hurt, abused  Be poor and struggle If one asks for success and prepares for failure, he will get the situation he has prepared for. - Florence Scovel Shinn Dr. R. Joseph Unconscious Influences Because of these unconscious influences, some people seek out experiences or people who will create the same familiar “not OK” emotional atmosphere that was an earlier part of their existence. Even if unpleasant, the familiar is easier to accept than what is unfamiliar. By re-creating the past, they also get one more chance to “fix” that problem or to obtain the love they were denied. Unfortunately, if these early experiences are maintained predominantly in the right brain, the left half of the adult cerebrum may have little or no knowledge of their presence and influence. (Joseph, 1992, p. 173) From the Right Brain and the Unconscious by Rhawn Joseph Copyright © 1992 Reprinted by permission of Perseus Books PLC, a member of Perseus Books, LLC Unconscious Choices Conscious Agenda - Friend • Loyal • Dependable • Loving/caring • Trustworthy • Considerate • Sensitive • Generous Right Brain - Child Unconscious Emotions Tone of voice Facial expressions Body language Left Brain – Adult Conscious Language Left Brain Confabulations Unconscious Agenda - Friend  Disloyal  Unreliable  Mean/cold  Untrustworthy  Inconsiderate  Insensitive  Stingy/user/self-centered Unconscious Choices Conscious Agenda - Mate • Faithful • Strong • Responsible • Loving/caring • Good sense of humor • Sensitive • Determined Right Brain - Child Unconscious Emotions Tone of voice Facial expressions Body language Left Brain – Adult Conscious Language Left Brain Confabulations Unconscious Agenda - Mate  Unfaithful  Weak  Irresponsible  Cold/callous  Humorless  Insensitive  Quitter/No drive
  • 5. 5 Unconscious Agenda – Mate Emotional Atmosphere Characteristic Resulting Emotion Unfaithful Humiliated, suspicious Weak Frustrated, cynical Irresponsible Nervous, unsure Cold/callous Rejected, miserable Humorless Depressed, sad Insensitive Hurt, indignant Quitter/no drive Manipulated, exhausted Unconscious Choices Conscious Agenda - Mate • Faithful • Strong • Responsible • Loving/caring • Good sense of humor • Sensitive • Determined Right Brain - Child Unconscious Emotions Tone of voice Facial expressions Body language Left Brain – Adult Conscious Language Left Brain Confabulations Unconscious Agenda - Mate  Unfaithful  Weak  Irresponsible  Cold/callous  Humorless  Insensitive  Quitter – No drive When I Was a Child…… •Children defined themselves according to how they are treated •They try to live up or down to the labels and expectations others applied to them •They are ruled by the immediacy of emotions •They do not analyze or process their experiences in the manner that an adult would process similar information Anneshia’s Unconscious Self-Concept My value as a person is directly related to my latest and greatest performance I have to be perfect I have to do everything perfectly Hurry up! Move it! I have to do everything right now – fast! There is something wrong with me Personal safety requires isolation I have to compensate for my presence with goods and services People are only tolerating me There is something wrong with everything I do I have to explain myself at all times because I am suspect I am at the mercy of other people’s decisions I am suppose to automatically know things that I was never taught Compare to others, I come up short The only interest a man will ever have in me is sexual What other people think is more important than what I think or know What other people say carries more weight than what I say Everybody is more important than me I am not good enough to be smart – everyone will think I cheated I am in the way Everything I do will turn out wrong Dr. R. Joseph The Unconscious Parent The mind of the child is malleable. Impressions are easily made and maintained. Indeed, just as an impression of someone hand can be left in wet cement, the impressions made by our parents also make an impression in the very malleable, as yet unformed psyche (mind) of the child. These linked impressions stay with us forever in the form of the internalized Parent, which continues to exert influences similar to those exerted by our parents, but within the confines of our own psyche (mind) (Joseph 1992, p. 175). From the Right Brain and the Unconscious by Rhawn Joseph Copyright © 1992 Reprinted by permission of Perseus Books PLC, a member of Perseus Books, LLC The Unconscious Parent Mistreats us Makes us pick people who mistreat us Makes us mistreat others who allow us
  • 6. 6 Dr. R. Joseph The Unconscious Child Just as the living tree retains its early core, within the core of each of us is the Child that we once were. This Child constitutes the foundation of what we have become, who we are, and what we will be. Although as adult we have grown, matured, had new experiences, assumed new responsibilities, changed our minds over a thousand times, and done and said things we swore we never would, the Child at our central core remains the child it always was. This Child continues to harbor the same feelings, emotions, resentments, frustrations, and memories that were present during childhood. It is, in fact, a complex of the emotional and experiential associations that constitutes a significant part of our early life. (Joseph 1992, p. 166). From the Right Brain and the Unconscious by Rhawn Joseph Copyright © 1992 Reprinted by permission of Perseus Books PLC, a member of Perseus Books, LLC The Unconscious Child Feelings Frustrations Resentments Memories The Unconscious Parent & The Unconscious Child Interactions Lie Panoramic View • The lie with your children • People are only tolerating you • The lie with your significant other • Compared to others, you come up short • The lie with your so-called friends • You have to compensate for your presence with goods and services • The lie at work or school • You have to assume the responsibilities of others • The lie with random encounters • You are at the mercy of other people’s decisions The Drunk or High View • The lie and your children • People are only tolerating you • Get the hell out of my house! • The lie and your significant other • Compared to others. you come up short • Let me tell you something… • The lie and so-called friends • You have to compensate for your presence with goods and services • All you sorry, low-down, good for nothing… • The lie at work or school • You have to assume the responsibilities of others • Email…you lazy, bums… • The lie and random encounters • You are at the mercy of other people’s decisions • Where are my car keys…I’m going to check this heifer… The Legacy of the Locks
  • 7. 7 The Passing of the Locks • Osmotic conditioning • Criticize and complain – seek no solutions – there aren’t any • Being poor and struggling is a way of life • Any sort of mate is better than no mate • You can’t change your reality so change your perception of reality – drugs/alcohol • Thematic conditioning • People are only tolerating you • Compared to others you come up short • Learning is associated with pain and humiliation • Figure everything out for yourself – I’m busy • You better get a good grade or else……………….. • A, BAM, B, BAM, C, BAM Dr. Ed Smith How The Lies Affect Our Adult Lives • It affects the way we interpret life around us • Lies affect the way we choose relationships • Lies create perpetual life themes that replay over and over every time the memory is accessed whether consciously or unconsciously • The lie will cause the pain, shame, guilt, fear, etc. to be transferred into present relationships, hindering intimacy • The lie will create an insatiable void which the person will seek to fill with others things such as people, money, careers, sex, food, pleasure, etc. "This information was borrowed with permission from the Theophostic Prayer Ministry (TPM) Basic seminar training manual, New Creation Publishing, 1996, 2000. This program is not affiliated or endorsed by TPM. Complete training in the Theophostic process is available at www.theophostic.com or by calling 270-465-3757. Please do not attempt to use the TPM approach without completing the basic coursework." Unconscious Belief + Directives = Self-Defeating Behaviors UnconsciousBeliefs 1. Being poor and struggling is a way of life 2. Being involvedwith the system is a normal way of life 3. Self-worth is connected to material possessions 4. What others think is more important than what you know 5. Higher education is not important, accessible, or attainable 6. The “game” is the way out Directives 1. Make daily decisions based on the policies and procedures of the poor/survivemode 2. Your resources for survival are obtained at human service agencies 3. Make financial decisions that MAKE others (in the hood with the same values as you) admire and respect you so you will have worth and value as a person in your community 4. Make choices that make others THINK you have money – you know different 5. Don’t even consider college as an option – not happening dude! 6. Sell dope, be the dope man’s girl or be the dope girl, prostitute, strip/dance, steal, cheat, manipulate, etc. Self-defeating Behaviors 1. Watch TV for hours, gossip with your friends, complain for hours about your lot in life, spend hours looking for assistance from various agencies – waste time & energy 2. Go from agency to agency obtaining resources to survive 3. Spend money on hair, clothes, gym shoes, furniture, cars, etc. 4. Buy high priced designer clothing, spend money at the club, treat others to dinner 5. Accept low paying jobs or welfare your entire life – be miserable and unfulfilled – no sense of purpose- seek relief in drugs and alcohol 6. Live “large” for short increments of time and then pay the price – then do it all over again until THE END! Dr. R. Joseph Unconscious Influences Because of these unconscious influences, some people seek out experiences or people who will create the same familiar “not OK” emotional atmosphere that was an earlier part of their existence. Even if unpleasant, the familiar is easier to accept than what is unfamiliar. By re-creating the past, they also get one more chance to “fix” that problem or to obtain the love they were denied. Unfortunately, if these early experiences are maintained predominantly in the right brain, the left half of the adult cerebrum may have little or no knowledge of their presence and influence. (Joseph, 1992, p. 173) From the Right Brain and the Unconscious by Rhawn Joseph Copyright © 1992 Reprinted by permission of Perseus Books PLC, a member of Perseus Books, LLC What Is The Game? Dope Game •Maslow’s Hierarchy of Need • Basic – food, clothing, shelter • Safety – crew, weapons, reputation • Love/Belonging – $ buys love • Self-esteem – status, respect, admiration • Self-actualization – being the best you can be • Best drug dealer • Best prostitute • Best murderer •The game – good and bad needs What is the Game? Dope House •Maslow’s Hierarchy of Need • Basic – warmth, shelter, dope • Safety – pimp, dope boys • Love/Belonging – tribe • Self-esteem – get that money girl • Self-actualization – best “hoe” out there •The game – mixture of good and bad needs
  • 8. 8 What is the Game? Relationships •Maslow’s Hierarchy of Need • Basic – warmth, shelter, sex • Safety – I got your back baby • Love/Belonging – pseudo/conditional • Self-esteem – That’s my girl – good looking out • Self-actualization – Best woman I’ve ever had •The game – mixture of good and bad needs “Hood Scripts” Conscious and Unconscious Scripts The Dynamic Duo Hood Script - Unconscious • Being poor and struggling is a way of life • Survival is the goal • Being involved with the system is a way of life • You are at the mercy of other people’s decisions • Criticize and complain but don’t seek solutions – there aren’t any • Your value as a person is connected to material possessions • Higher education is not important, accessible, or attainable – it is only part of a lofty dream speech Conscious - Hood Script •Your brand of gym shoe and clothing should be your MAIN concern •Knowing how to fight physically is a very important skill and should be mastered •We eat soul food •We don’t exercise – white people stuff •Jail/prison is a part of life •The factory is a “GOOD” job •The “game” is the way out Impact of Poverty on Pregnancy • Women living in poverty are likely to begin having babies at an earlier age and to have repeated pregnancies – linked to low-birth rates. • Women with little education are less likely to be aware of the risks of smoking, alcohol, and drug use for their babies and are more likely to use substances. • Less likely to have been vaccinated against infectious diseases. • Poverty is linked to maternal malnutrition, higher rates of infection, diabetes, and cardiovascular diseases – linked to low-birth weight. Newman and Newman, 2009. Development Through Life: A Psychosocial Approach: Belmont, CA: Wadsworth Cengage Learning.  Women have kids by different men and the system takes care of them.  Being poor and struggling is a way of life.  Higher education is not important, accessible, or attainable.  You are not important.  What you eat is not important as long as it tastes good.  Exercise is not important – it’s too much work.  Using drugs and alcohol is a way of life – a coping mechanism.  Being involved with the system is a way of life. © Copyright 2005 Anneshia Freeman All Rights Reserved Poverty as a Lifestyle • No sense of purpose or destiny • Sense of hopelessness/powerlessness • Discontent…ongoing continuous • Limited or no recreational activities • No sense of self-actualization • Passing on belief system to children • Unsafe environment • Slumlords • Neighborhood violence/gangs • Drugs
  • 9. 9 Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome Dr. Joy DeGruy-Leary We are powerless We are less than We are dependent on them http://joydegruy.com/resources-2/post-traumatic-slave-syndrome/ Unconscious Self-Concept of a Slave Right Brain Unconscious Script – Operating System There is something wrong with us People are only tolerating us Compared to others, we come up short White people are powerful – we are powerless Criticizing and complaining is the only thing we can do We are at the mercy of other people’s decisions – especially white people We are suppose to automatically know things that we were never taught We are stupid – They are smart What other people think is more important than what we know or think What other people says carries more weight than what we say White people are more important than us Our feelings are not important People can do anything they want to us and we’d better not say anything Unconscious Self-Concept Slave – Post Slavery •Segregation •Plant • ta-tion •Media influences •Inner-city subcultures •Illegal opportunities structures • Prison (plant-ta-tion) •Erroneous information distribution network How many know, understand, and believe experts’ findings relating to the unconscious mind? Master Syndrome They need us We’re taking care of them Slave and Master Programming We are powerless We are less than We are dependent on them They need us We’re taking care of them A Dissertation Waiting to HappenAnneshia’s Stuff
  • 10. 10 Dr. R. Joseph - Choice Admittedly a person is capable of choosing only what he is able to conceive. One cannot explore a road he does not know exists. If a person is brought up in an environment where mom and dad are alcoholics, drug addicts, or thieves who are on welfare or frequently in jail; in an environment where people are shot to death for merely being on the street; in a society that worships sex, violence, and easy money and that mocks those who strive for something better, such an individual may be incapable of choosing to live his life any differently. It simply would not occur to him. It would as alien as living on the planet Mars and is thus not an option and is almost impossible for him to consider. (Joseph, 1992, p. 367- 368) From the Right Brain and the Unconscious by Rhawn Joseph Copyright © 1992 Reprinted by permission of Perseus Books PLC, a member of Perseus Books, LLC The Elements of the Trap Non-nutritious Foods Media Influences Erroneous/limited Information Illegal Opportunity Structures Negative Role Models Poverty Peer Pressure Low Self-esteem PTSS Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome Dominant Culture Status Requirements Dr. R. Joseph – A Way Out Often, the only way out for individuals raised in these circumstances is to become educated about the alternatives available. However, they must also be able to scrutinize their own lives so as to recognize the maladaptive, self-destructive patterns they have been engaging in. It will be very difficult for them to change their behavior if they cannot recognize it so as to avoid it. (Joseph, 1992, p. 368) From the Right Brain and the Unconscious by Rhawn Joseph Copyright © 1992 Reprinted by permission of Perseus Books PLC, a member of Perseus Books, LLC A Way Out! If you don't like change, your going to like irrelevance even less ! General Eric Shinseki Chief of Staff, U. S. Army A Way Out •Education on unconscious vs. conscious •Strength identification • For the client and the provider •Fear identification and cancellation •Resocialization programs •Role models •New program structures • No more acute care models for chronic problems • Chronic models for chronic problems •Self-assessment of providers •Subculture competency
  • 11. 11 Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. Strength Recognition •Same thing – only different • What are some negative behaviors you engage or engaged in? • What are some of the obstacles you encounter while attempting to do those behaviors? • What were some of the feelings you felt when faced with the obstacles? • How did you deal with the obstacles? • How did you deal with the feelings? Reprogramming - Strength Recognition Obstacle Solution Police Changed route, waited him out, took chances, found alternative $ making opportunities - CREATIVITY Weather Dressed for it, changed perspective, used it to look like damsel in distress - ADAPTATION New environment Negotiated, met new people, asked questions, watched others - NETWORKED Competition Act confident, refused to be discouraged, waited them out –DETERMINATION Fear Encouraged myself, took chances, pressed through the fear - COURAGE Ambiguous expectations Adjusted, asked for clarification, apologized, accepted consequences and tried again - PERSISTENT Lack of resources Made do, creative, bargained - INGENUITY Hood Geniuses •Intelligence is relative • Dynamic psychologist • Act mean and complain • Mathematical wizards • Comic genius • Opera singer • Customer service strategies mastermind • Quick minds • Marketing expert • 10 minute business plan with 100% ROI – 1 week 1985 -2000 Illegal Opportunities Structures, Detroit, MI Participant-observation, Exploratory Ethnographic Research Analyst Responsibilities: included infiltrating the management system of several subcultures, researching and analyzing their strategic plan, interviewing residents of subcultures, participating in the mandatory daily activities required for residency in that particular subculture (15 years) which included ingesting large amounts of reality altering pharmaceutical substances, daily hypothesis testing - introducing an assortment of variables, deprogramming residents while systematically maintaining residency, and consulting with upper level management regarding their substandard security system. PIMP Your Pain Role Models For Parents & Children •Role models from various backgrounds • Education role models • Business role models • Parenting role models • Self-esteem role models • Positive relationships role models • Debt liquidation role models
  • 12. 12 New Program Structure Parents and Children •Treat the cause and effect together • We have the resources in place •Structure the program towards exiting the system • Our clients don’t have to keep being our clients •Make thriving more accessible than surviving • Challenge our self-defeating policies •Teach the polices and procedures of thriving • If they have a ear, let them hear Strategic Parenting © Copyright 2006 Anneshia Freeman All Rights Reserved Unconscious Belief Method of Transmission/To You As A Child Method of Transmission/To Your Children New Belief System Method of Deprogramming/ Reprogramming Deprogram: Reprogram: Deprogram: Reprogram: Self-Assessment Of Providers •What are my unconscious issues? • How does that affect my work? •What are my unconscious beliefs about the population I work with? • How does that affect my work? •What are my conscious beliefs about the population I work with? • How does that affect my work? What are Your Issues? How Do They Affect Your Work? • My unconsciousissues: • I have to assume the responsibilities of others • A particular race or class of people are not as capable as another race or class • People are only tolerating you • Your self-worth is connected to your performance • My client’s unconscious issues: • Expect others to do for you what you will not do for yourself and get angry and resentful if they don’t • People don’t expect much from you so that means you can’t do much • If someone is being nice to you it’s a trick – he or she has a hidden agenda • You are at the mercy of other people’s decisions • Everything you do will turn out wrong Subset-Subculture Definition • African American • Poor, middle class, upper middle class, upper class • Poor • Working poor • Systems dependant poor • Substandard residential setting • Shelter poor • Chronic street homeless Subset-Subculture Definition • System dependent poor • Chemical Dependent • Heroin Addict • Cocaine • Crack Cocaine • Crack Cocaine Addicted • Prostitutes • Stick-up men • Panhandlers
  • 13. 13 Engagement Strategies •Take yourself off the throne sooner than later •Be real with them • If you don’t understand say you don’t • Give your experience but don’t compare them if they are not comparable •Allow them to retract and come back •Don’t be afraid to challenge them after you have built a relationship with them •Apologize if you are wrong •Share your wound filter Engagement Strategies • Meet them where they’re at • Take your time clock off of them • Take regular society off the throne • Give examples of societal blunders • Engage them in society • Dominant culture field trips • Show them come from behind victory movies/plays • Suggest books about people who were severely wounded and healed and rose to victory • A piece of Cake – The Cupcake Brown story • The PACT • Have a severely wounded survivor on staff The Lies That Bind® •Change the mindset • Change the mind and the rest will follow • Individuals will be empowered to take charge of their own lives •Stop treating symptoms alone • Chronic care models for chronic problems •Help individuals learn practical living skills • Intrapersonal skills – reprogram unconscious self-concept • Interpersonal skills – how do I communicate with others • Dominant culture navigation skills • How do I thrive in the dominant culture? • What are the polices and procedures? • How can I adapt without sacrificing my individuality? Painful Childhood Bachelor’s Business Summa Cum Laude Master’s Business Administration Summa Cum Laude
  • 14. 14 Master’s Social Work Summa Cum Laude – KCP Fellow Career Woman! Featured on Inner Compass Featured on 700 Club Speaking at Mending Hearts Ministries Presenting at University of Toledo Columnist Grand Rapids Times Presenting at Youth Rally Hosting “The Bright Side” There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world, and that is an idea whose time has come - Victor Hugo New truths go through three stages. First they are ridiculed, second they are violently opposed, and then, finally, they are accepted as self-evident. - Arthur Schopenhauer