The writer would like to take this opportunity to show her
deepest gratitude to the persons who have been accommodating and
cooperative to the success of completing this term paper.
To Mrs. Giselle De Guzman-Avila for her remarkable
encouragement, support and thorough guidance.
To the writer’s parents for providing assistance physically and
financially as well as giving her undying support she really needs.
Also, the writer would like to thank Ms. Shanie A. Polagñe for
giving her insights and her precious time for the interview.
And above all, to our Almighty God for his eternal guidance and
making all things possible.
Self-confidence is an attitude that lets individuals believe in their
selves and in their abilities.
As good as sound as it seems, developing it is not that easy.
Persons lacking self-confidence tend not to take risk and put
themselves down often. They fear failure, criticisms and disapproval of
others that leads to more complicated problems. Compliments are
hardly acknowledged and ignored often. Building confidence is greatly
affected during the childhood and most importantly, parents should be
This paper aims to discuss self-confidence, thus mainly intend to
talk about its development starting from childhood.
The scope of this study is only about the manifestation and
advantages of self-confidence, relationships that might affect,
problems faced by persons who lacked it and how can they be helped.
In collecting the necessary data, the writer conducted vast
research through internet and made interview to a person whom the
writer believed have low-self-confidence.
I. What is Self-Confidence?
Self-Confidence is freedom from doubt that you are not able to
do anything. Self Confidence is an attribute which is a composed of
person’s thoughts and feelings, actions, perspective, what he has
been, what he might become, and his self-esteem. It is a constructive
attitude of oneself towards one’s self-knowledge. It also can be a
characteristic of perceived self.
Self confident persons are recognized as to be socially skilled,
emotionally mature, mentally adequate, decisive, optimistic,
independent, self-reliant thus having leadership qualities. They are
persons who can easily be manifested as more relaxed when
socializing, not afraid of the judgment of others and are more
enthusiastic. They are able to express and influence their positive
Benefits of having Self-Confidence are just too many. Since they
believe in their selves often, they are able to increase their
performance if they keep on doing the same thing. They can influence
other people at ease and able to express the excitement to others with
no trouble. Confident persons tend to attract people and effortlessly
projects positive energy to other individuals. They are generally
happier than those who lacked confidence and are more satisfied with
their lives. Study also shows that they are healthier in view of the fact
that positive self-confidence and self-esteem are indicators of good
mental fitness. They are people who believe in themselves so they are
able to deal with chaotic situations without becoming chaotic
II. How it is developed?
There are many factors that may affect the development of self-
confidence. Different relations are the one can mold the child’s
confidence but the relationship essentially with the parents is the most
crucial. It is said that confidence is developed from the moment
children are born but they still does not have a clear understanding
until they have reached childhood.
In early childhood, through sense of trust, independence and
being initiative, self-confidence may develop in a way like teaching a
toddler to walk. If the parents let the child feel that they are there
even they fall, the child can easily develop the confidence he needs
since they know that there are still persons behind his back,
Late childhood may make a child’s confidence fall for they will
now cope with peers and it also involve the school but if the parents
keep a constant praise to the child’s performance or achievements and
let them know it is okay to make mistakes and such, they may even
improve their self-beliefs. At the same time as with their peers, if they
do not feel inferior or superior to their playmates, they are growing in
the right path of self-confidence development.
The development of self-reliance in adolescence is mixed up with
the hormonal changes and the socialization made by the teen. This
time, peers are more influential to the teen’s confidence. The
improvement of confidence may even include the teen’s school
performance. In this stage, confidence of the teen is very critical since
they will be adults soon and if not developed, they are most probably
to encounter complicated problems in adulthood.
An adult’s confidence is a lot important now than any of the
stages of growth. Self-confidence development in adulthood shows a
slow gradual increase in some research therefore, if they have not
been confident in their early years, they are most likely to be
pessimistic and cynical and may not have the life they wanted to have.
Whether they are searching for a new job or became recently single,
there are so many life events that create stress and anxiety, leading to
a loss of confidence and self-esteem of an adult.
As everyone knows, relationship with the family is fundamental
to the child’s learning as well as molding the child’s confidence.
Interactions of the child to his parent are the most crucial in
developing his confidence in his self. Parents are primarily the child’s
role-models. If parents were not able to meet the child’s needed
attention to be confident, crisis will come out later in his life. If they
grew up with parents who constantly encouraged them to do better
and who praised them when they had accomplishments, then chances
are to grow into an adult who has a strong self-esteem and who
regards failures as a chance to improve. However, if they grew up in a
family who constantly made them feels that nothing they do is good
enough, and then there is also a high probability that they will enter
adulthood with very low self-esteem.
Sibling relationship can also have an effect. It is said that
harmonious and coherent relationship to parent is linked to a positive
sibling relationship. Unfair treatment to children may lead to more
sibling conflicts especially during adolescence. These conflicts may
lead to the either the child or all the children’s self-confidence for
thinking they are under the elder sibling or the younger sibling is more
loved than the other.
Child’s relationship with peers or persons outside the family can
also greatly affect the confidence progress. Good friends make you feel
accepted, cared about and loved. However, if they had friends who
were they compared themselves to, inconsiderately criticize their
mistakes, negatively influenced them or even betrayed them, they
might start becoming an emotionally guarded person with trust issues,
reliant to them for decisions or most likely feared them that may lower
their confidence not only in their capabilities as well as to their self-
The way the child was raised to be and their past experiences
that made the child traumatized are mostly the cause of degrading
confidence as the child grows up nowadays. Neglect during childhood
and abuse leads to the development of an adult with depression issues
Appearances of such obese children are having hard times
boosting their confidence especially if they have thinner friends who
can fit into more stylish clothes. Children who have controlling and
high expectant parents lack confidence too. If they were not able to
meet the expectations or making mistakes or being failure is not
allowed they tend to put themselves down and be depressed. Other
than that, if they have been controlled a lot, making vital decision is
less likely to be done because of fear.
III. Problems Faced
Developing self-confidence is not that easy particularly if the
significant persons in one’s child were not meet. Hence, troubles when
they got older occur. Complicated problems are needed to face and
might make them be better or worse.
One problem associated with lack of confidence is the feeling of
worthlessness. This is prone to happen whenever the person is
depressed. The more they feel worthless, the more they will get
depressed. If they are depressed, they often see themselves as
deficient in many aspects such as intelligence, popularity,
attractiveness and etc., due to this negative emotional reactions, it
causes damage and adding the feeling of low self-confidence.
Because of the worthlessness the person felt, inability to stand
on their own may came up. To feel that they are needed and
important they tend to please people and be under them. They will
rely more to other people’s opinions hence lowering their confidence
when they are just alone by themselves.
Since they cannot stand up for themselves, they have a
tendency to have trouble in making decisions. Indecisiveness is core
symptom of depressive illness. They made decisions that no longer
further their interests and ask for other people’s decision for them.
Difficulty in good decision-making leads to failure or recognizing
priorities and goals.
Not being able to decide on their own leads to another problem
of obscurity in achieving goals. A person who lacks self-belief does not
easily make decisions thus won’t be able to know their dreams. They
end up not believing their value, ability and strengths and having hard
time attaining the confidence they need. They might even times they
can come very close to their goal but suddenly react out of fear and
ruin it themselves, thinking of not being deserved to feel good about it
if it were successful. The big dilemma is that if they would not believe
in themselves, they won’t have the opportunity to prove themselves
wrong therefore having no confidence.
IV. Who and how can help
Lacking self-confidence cannot be avoided but if it always
happens almost everytime and seems severe, persons should help
right away. Family has always been the fundamental institution in
developing child’s traits. Parents were the primary persons that should
help a low self-confident individual since they were the closest to the
person who have self problems. Parents should act as role-models to
their child so they can have someone to look up to. They should be
able to encourage children’s moves toward self-reliance and accept as
well as love their children even if they make mistakes. From that,
children will learn to accept themselves and will be on their way to
developing self-confidence. Parents should be able to know how to
identify and redirect the negative beliefs of their child.
Family members such as the child’s siblings might help by
supporting and understanding the condition of their brother or sister.
They can be the parent substitute if the child was distant or not so
close to his parent.
Peers, person outside the family that is powerful in influencing
the child might be the person who will be more effective in aiding a
person who lacks self-confidence. They can help by comforting and
telling the person’s good qualities, unique abilities and by being
sensitive whenever that person makes mistakes.
Experts such as therapists can also help by recognizing
strategies that can deal with the complicated problems of the child.
They can be the person the child might turn to if they don’t have
anyone to trust to and to share the things they have been keeping
inside for a long time. There were many people a person who lack self-
confidence can confide their problem to but this does not mean that it
is okay to be not confident. Still, persons principally the parents should
be responsible to make their child self-assured and loves themselves.
What is happening in present situation is because of the past.
We can’t be us today if it were not for what happened before. Same
goes for the development of Self-confidence. Self-confidence starts
from childhood therefore children in this stage are very sensitive and
responsive. Children’s relationship with others mainly with their family
and friends significantly affects the confidence development. This also
includes on how they were raised to be. Any maltreatment they have
been through would always matter as the reason for what they are
Self-confidence is the predecessor of many accomplishments. It
is the very first step to progress, develop as a person, in attaining goal
and to be a successful individual. Although a person has the great
abilities, vast intelligence and any unique character, if he does not
believe in them, if he lacks confidence, it is all nothing. On the other
hand, even he only possesses average skills and the enough
confidence, chances he have might make him be successful.
Developing the child’s confidence is a must. Not In order to
avoid problems he might encounter but making sure that the child is
able to deal with any kinds of obstacle that will mold him as he grows
up, will strengthen him and will make him understand how life goes.
The writer was supposed to interview whom she have in mind fit
for the topic and her very friend, but as soon as the person saw the
questionnaires, he apologized for the reason that he cannot respond
properly. Due to the lack of time, the writer conducted another
interview via Facebook with another person and the respondent was
able to answer the questions asked. Here it is:
1.) What is self-confidence for you?
Self-confidence is the ability to be trusting in one self’s abilities
and talents. It is a unique line of thought that enhances one's skills
when used properly, sort of a temporary booster if you will.
2.) What are the advantages it has in your opinion?
I think it helps boosts one's ego, but too much can be
devastating to oneself and especially to the people around them.
Nobody likes someone who's too overconfident in their own ways,
nobody wants a person who thinks they're better than the rest.
3.) Do you think self-confidence starts from childhood? Why do
you say so?
Yes, most factors that help build one's self-confidence starts
from little but crucial moments in childhood. Even if children aren't
able to fully grasp what's happening around them, they know
happiness is the goal. Just like when parents start teaching their baby
how to walk, babies eventually learn that smiling is a good signal that
they're doing something good, so they learn to read facial expressions.
Children often receive life lessons early from seemingly nonsensical
moments, such as knowing that they're not perfect or that they can't
4.) If you have low self-confidence where would you turn for
help? Parents, therapists or Friends? Why?
Friends. Not parents nor therapists, since parents are usually
overbearing and expectorant; and most people don't really feel
comfortable sharing their thoughts of insecurities with strangers even
though they are professionals who want to help. Friends are there for
you, in more ways than one might think, friends are very alike with
each other which is why people often confide in friends. Friends are
often more sincere and trusted to be without biases than the other
5.) Will you agree that the no. 1 problem faced by persons
lacking self-confidence is the difficulty in decision making? *(If
not state another problem faced and why it is)
Yes, since they lack trust in their own selves, it will be common
to see indecisiveness on people with low self-confidence. They like to
deduce what's the right choice to please people from the wrong one
instead of what's going to feel like the right decision for themselves.
6.) Will you say that you have low self-confidence, an average
level or high? Why?
Average low self-confidence. I can tell that I have low self-
confidence just by looking at what I do, no pride, no trust, no hope.
7.) If you have a friend who lacks self-confidence how will you
help him / her out?
I'd tell them their best characteristics, and what talents they
have, and how much it would be a waste for them to not use their
*The responses the interviewee made consistently agrees with
the topic discussed except for stating that “friends” are the ideal
person she can turn to or to ask help.
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Child and Child with Sibling. Vol. 2. International Journal of
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Gosling, S. Global Self-esteem Across the Life Span. 2002 <http://
James, Kathryn., and Nightingale, Christine. Self-esteem, confidence
and adult learning. Great Britain: National Institute of Adult
Continuing Education2005. <email@example.com> <http://
Oliva, Alfredo., and Arranz, Enrique. Sibling Relationship during
Adolescence. European Journal of Developmental Psychology
Polagñe, Shanie A. 4th year student in naga City Science High School.
Personal Interview, 14 November. 2013
Ray, Linda. “What are the Benefits of Self-Confidence” 30 May. 2010
Understanding Self-esteem and Manifestation of Self-esteem