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Not Heiress Rose
1. Hello, and welcome to a very special Ruth’s/AiP crossover! Okay,
so there have been a lot of these lately, and maybe it doesn’t seem
quite so special just at the moment. But there are four girls in the
(u)OWBC household, and I can’t give two their own Plots and one
a spin-off while ignoring the last one. Besides, I’ve been setting
this up since 2011.
Like all Plots used in Ruth’s, this is, ah, “lovingly appropriated”
from an opera by Gilbert & Sullivan. But not stolen! Oh no! Just
“lovingly appropriated.”
Since this is based on an opera, let’s meet the players while the
orchestra tunes up and the overture plays.
2. From Ruth’s (un)Officially Wacky Boolprop Challenge:
Rose Shankel (left) is the youngest child, and was betrothed at an
early age to the son of her father’s friend. Her father made the
tactical error of not informing her until she was eighteen, and since
marrying someone to whom you have not even been introduced is
a no-no according to Miss Manners, Rose is dead set against the
arrangement.
Phoebe Shankel (right) is Rose’s older sister. She routinely speaks
in “thee”s and “thou”s, and is happily engaged to a man of her own
choosing.
3. From Already in Progress:
Dmitri Sanders (left) is a Family Sim who came to Uni in pursuit
of his MR.* He once auditioned for a (female) role in a Gilbert &
Sullivan show in high school.
Frederic Miller (right) is a Pleasure Sim, and Dmitri’s best friend.
Frederic like girls and boys equally well, but Dmitri is firmly in his
Friends Zone. (Or would be, if I had ACR.)
*The male equivalent of an MRS.
4. Ariadene Phillips (left) is Dmitri’s sister. They have different
fathers, and, come to that, different mothers. But nobody in the
family has ever paid attention to fiddly details like that. Ariadene is
Romance, and is looking forward to working on that numbered
LTW.
Catherynne Miller (right) is Frederic’s first cousin and Ariadene’s
first cousin once removed. (Frederic and Ariadene are something
like fifth cousins, I think.) Catherynne is along for the ride because
I will be hanged if I play two households through Uni when I could
get away with one. Catherynne is Family.
5. Finally, we have some folks who are not in Uni at all.
From Already in Progress, we have Leonid Sanders (left),
Dmitri’s father and tied for third-nicest Sim ever in my game.
From Ruth’s (un)Officially Wacky Boolprop Challenge, we have
Old Adam Shankel (right), Rose’s father and possessor of one
Nice point. (This is fairly common thanks to genetic drift.)
Leonid and Old Adam are best friends, and would be thrilled to
become family.
And now, the curtain rises on the Plotette…
8. DMITRI: Hey, can you tell me which is Rose Shankel’s room?
DORMIE #1: Rose Shankel?
DORMIE #2: Isn’t she the one who started that sorority?
DORMIE #1: Yeah, that’s the one. (to Dmitri) Sorry, pal. She
started Annya Var Greek House, and if she’s not at class, she’s
there.
DMITRI: That’s cool. We’ll just join the Greek House.
DORMIE #1: It’s a sorority. Girls only.
9. For Rose and Phoebe, life at the sorority follows pretty much the
same routine as life at the dorm: skill-building in the morning,
although on the floor or standing now, since they can’t afford
chairs.
Or windows.
Or flooring.
Or wall coverings, a stove, or anything.
10. The afternoon is for building badges. They sold the makeover
chair, since there is no steady supply of deserving dormies to make
over anymore, but they still have the flower bench.
Rose is usually the one who uses it, as she has stronger feelings on
the subject.
They also have a toymaking bench, but Phoebe never uses that
either.
11. Their sorority sister Catherynne is the one who does that. Well, she
rolled the Want to buy it and routinely rolls the Want to earn a
badge for it, so that’s only fair.
Her toys are sold to (eventually) pay for a window or something.
Since there is only a $3 profit on Sir Bricks-A-Lots, this will take a
long, long time, but everyone needs a goal.
12. The house has no refrigerator, no counter, and no stove, but that
doesn’t matter, since the girls live largely on pizza.
What? I can’t stop one or another of them from going to campus to
pick some up every time my attention is elsewhere for a second, so
they may as well make use of it, yes?
13. In fact, now that Phoebe can’t work on any skill badges, she spends
a lot of time on the phone, keeping up her relationships with her
friends and relatives.
More friends means a higher level Greek House.
And so does having more members. Speaking of which…
14. DMITRI: I’ve got it, Freddy! I know how we’re going to get in to
Annya Var!
FREDERIC: It’s not illegal, is it?
DMITRI: No, of course it’s not illegal. It’ll be fun!
16. DMITRI (anxiously): What? Is it not my color? I thought it looked
good.
FREDERIC: It’s a dress!
DMIRTI: Well, duh. I got you one too. (excited) And I found these
really cute coordinating bloomers, and the platforms were on sale.
Do you think we should paint our nails to match the dresses?
FREDERIC (with horror): Paint our nails?!
DMITRI: No, you’re right. That would be too matchy-matchy.
17. FREDERIC: Why on earth would we want to put on dresses in the
first place?
DMITRI: So we can join the sorority, of course. They only admit
girls. Girls wear dresses. If we wear dresses, they’ll admit us. I rest
my case.
FREDERIC (suspiciously): There must be some sort of flaw in your
logic, but I’ll have my files corrupted if I can figure out what it is.
(sighs, reaching for his dress) This is absolutely not going to work,
you know.
18. ROSE: Well, ladies, I’m very glad you decided to join Annya Var.
You seem like just the kind of women we’re looking for -- not like
some of the man-crazy ones out there. Now, one of our biggest
rules is that you can’t bring any boyfriends back to the House. Will
you have a problem with that?
DMITRI: You don’t have to worry about us bringing home any
men.
FREDERIC: Um…
DIMITRI: We’re not the sort of girls that men look at anyway.
Completely unattractive and uninterested, that’s us.
FREDERIC (mutters): Speak for yourself.
19. ROSE: Oh, don’t talk yourself down! You seem lovely, and all of
us girls here at the sorority will welcome you with open arms.
FREDERIC (perking up): Open arms, you say?
ROSE: Yes, of course! We’re all prepared to love you on sight.
FREDERIC: Well, we’re prepared to love you right back!
DMITRI (hisses angrily to Frederic): Can it!
20. SONG.
I am a maiden, frank and simple,
Brimming with joyous roguery;
Merriment lurks in ev’ry dimple
Nobody breaks more hearts than I!
Nobody breaks more hearts, more hearts than I!
21. SONG.
Haughty, humble, coy, or free,
Little care I what maid may be.
So that a maid is fair to see,
Ev’ry maid is the maid for me!
22. SONG.
I am a maiden coyly blushing,
Timid am I as a startled hind;
Ev’ry suitor sets me flushing,
Ev’ry suitor sets me flushing:
I am the maid that wins mankind!
23. ARIADENE: Frederic, what is going on? I can’t get my brother
alone for two minutes to ask him.
FREDERIC: Keep your voice down! We’re Demetria and Daphne
now.
ARIADENE: Daphne?
FREDERIC: It beats “Frederica.” But you can’t tell anybody!
You’ll blow Dmi -- er, Demetria’s cover.
ARIADENE: Oh, I’ll keep my mouth shut… for a price.
24. FREDERIC: Somehow I thought your price would be more R-
rated. Or even X.
ARIADENE: In your dreams, bucko. Don’t forget that I dot my I’s
with little hearts.
25. SONG.
Haughty, humble, coy, or free,
Little care I what maid may be.
So that a maid is fair to see,
Ev’ry maid is the maid for me!
26. SONG.
Haughty, humble, coy, or free,
Little care I what maid may be.
So that a maid is fair to see,
Ev’ry maid is the maid for me!*
* Adapted from W. S. Gilbert, Princess Ida, act II, song 13. Available from
http://math.boisestate.edu/GaS/princess_ida/webop/pi_13.html; accessed 1
June 2012.
27. Ariadene doesn’t have time for the whole “homework” thing
because she’s too busy working on her LTW: Have Twenty Loves
At Once.
ASIA TRAVER THE MATCHMAKER: Seriously? This is what
you’re giving me?
ARIADENE: It’s my life savings! Come on, help a girl out.
ASIA TRAVER THE MATCHMAKER: If this is your life
savings, girl, Esme help us. You’ll get what you pay for, that’s all
I’m saying.
28. ARIADENE: Pfffft -- that matchmaker doesn’t know what she’s
talking about. You’re gorgeous.
GOOD-LOOKING BLOND WHO IS APPARENTLY A CLONE
OF SOMEONE I ALREADY MARRIED INTO A DIFFERENT
STORY: Thanks?
29. Alas, the classic Romance/Family mismatch was at work, and this
fellow probably won’t be one of Ariadene’s conquests.
And speaking of handsome fellows, it’s worth pointing out that
Ariadene wasn’t the only one who figured something was fishy
about “Demetria” and “Daphne.”
30. PHOEBE: Thou knowest that those be men, dost thou not?
ROSE: If they present as female, it’s only polite to refer to them
and to treat them as female. Their genetic makeup only matters for
certain types of medical treatments.*
*It’s actually true that certain medical treatments depend on whether a person’s
chromosomes are XX or XY; generally treatments that involve some form of
hormone therapy.
31. At the end of first semester Freshman year (for the new folks) or
first semester Junior year (for Rose and Phoebe), there was enough
money to redo a fair amount of the house.
They don’t actually need the fridge, but four residents out of six
rolled the Want for one. The fancy stove is also not really needed,
but because it’s so large, I wanted to be sure it fit.
Yes, that is a dresser in the kitchen.
32. There was enough money to put flooring in the second floor, and
also to add stairs going up to the new flooring. The white tile parts
will be bathrooms, the various shades of pink will be bedrooms,
and the blue will be hallway. (It’s just that carpet is lots cheaper
than wood.)
You may notice that there are three beds, but six sorority “sisters,”
and you may be wondering how that works.
33. Bed-sharing, of course! Rose and Phoebe share, as do Dmitri and
Frederic and Ariadene and Catherynne. Each pair get along well
enough that there are no objections.
Other pairings might get along just as well, but that could very well
blow Dmitri and Frederic’s cover.
(Apologies for the plumbbob. It’s such a n00b mistake; I feel really
dumb. But the Walls Down was deliberate!)
34. And then one day the conversation turned, as conversations will, in
a random direction.
FREDERIC: Well, what about if you could wish for one person to
fall in madly in love with you forever? Who would you pick?
(archly) Demetria, I know who you’d pick…
DMITRI: Can it, F -- er, Daphne!
FREDERIC: No, but who would you pick, Rose? I really can’t
decide between Sandy Bruty and Ben Long.
ROSE: Oh, I really shouldn’t play this game. Technically, I’m
engaged, you know. But of course I’m not going to go through
with it.
35. DMITRI: You’re engaged? Really? So why don’t you want to
marry him? Does he pick his nose? Eat small babies? What?
ROSE: No, I don’t think so. My father says he’s actually pretty
nice. But…
FREDERIC: But what? It can’t be because he’s two years younger
than you, can it?
ROSE: How did you know he’s younger than me?
FREDERIC: Whoops.
40. DMITRI: Oh, Mr. Reaper, please don’t take her! Please, please
don’t take her! Isn’t there some way I can play you for her? Double
or nothing, maybe?
GRIM REAPER: I do.’. .no.. I.’. no. u.ua..
DMITRI: Oh, please? Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease? Pretty
please with a cherry on top? We were going to be married, and I
love her more than anything!
45. SONG.
My nat’ral instinct teaches me
(And instinct is important, O!)
You’re ev’rything you ought to be
And nothing that you oughtn’t, O!
* Adapted from W. S. Gilbert, Princess Ida, act II, song 13. Available from
http://math.boisestate.edu/GaS/princess_ida/webop/pi_13.html; accessed 1
June 2012.
46. SONG.
The fact was seen at once by you
In casual conversation, O!
Which is most creditable to
Your powers of observation, O!
* Adapted from W. S. Gilbert, Princess Ida, act II, song 13. Available from
http://math.boisestate.edu/GaS/princess_ida/webop/pi_13.html; accessed 1
June 2012.
47. SONG.
-servation, O!
-servation, O!
Your powers of observation, O!
* Adapted from W. S. Gilbert, Princess Ida, act II, song 13. Available from
http://math.boisestate.edu/GaS/princess_ida/webop/pi_13.html; accessed 1
June 2012.
48. SONG.
Then jump for joy and gaily bound,
The truth is found, the truth is found!
Set bells a-ringing through the air
Ring here and there and ev’rywhere --
* Adapted from W. S. Gilbert, Princess Ida, act II, song 13. Available from
http://math.boisestate.edu/GaS/princess_ida/webop/pi_13.html; accessed 1
June 2012.
49. SONG.
And echo forth the joyous sound,
The truth is found, the truth is found!*
-
* Adapted from W. S. Gilbert, Princess Ida, act II, song 16. Available from
http://math.boisestate.edu/GaS/princess_ida/webop/pi_16.html; accessed 1
June 2012.
50. Montages are all very well, but I’m sure you’d like to know at least
something about the other people in the household.
Take Phoebe, for example. You’d never know that the woman has
nine Cooking points, would you?
And that’s the skill she’s weakest in.
51. Or at least, it was. She’s well-nigh unstoppable now.
That should help the family snaffle a few career rewards, hey?
52. I did, however, manage to come up with a badge she can work on
in her now-copious free time: gardening!
Well, she’s going to marry a farmer. Gardening badges are super
useful. I should have thought of this ages ago!
53. Ariadene has discovered a much better way to get good grades than
blackmailing someone else into doing your homework.
Her LTW is for Twenty Loves, after all, and who’s to say that a
professor or three can’t contribute?
54. Once out of the silly dress, Frederic decided to make up for lost
time. However, since his finances are in about the same state as
Ariadene’s, his dates were not any better matches.
DMITRI (V.O.): You seem to like that one.
FREDERIC (V.O.): Blech! No. I just like to make sure that my
dates have a good time. Did you notice that he had black hair?
DMITRI (V.O.): Wait a minute -- I have black hair.
FREDERIC (V.O.): So you do. And that, Dmitri Leonidovich, is
one of the reasons I will never ever date you. Sorry to disappoint.
55. DMITRI (V.O.): Well, what about the blonde girl? Whatsername?
FREDERIC (V.O.): Margaret. Yeah, she’s hot, and she keeps
calling to ask me out. But Iolanthe, is she boring! Halfway through
the date, I keep rolling Wants to buy a TV or something. And for a
Romance Sim, she’s sure stingy with the kissing.
Frederic is not very successful romantically. He’s never rolled a
Want for any of his dates after the date was over, and he does often
roll Wants to buy TVs or gain skill points while the date is still in
progress. I’d run a bachelor challenge with him, but I’m not quite
sure what to do with the losers…
56. Frederic is the only junior member of the household to declare a
major.
Okay, it’s Philosophy, which he would have ended up with in
Junior year anyway, but I wanted something that feeds into
Culinary -- his LTW is Become Celebrity Chef -- and I’ve had way
too many Sims major in Art lately.
57. I realize that Catherynne hasn’t gotten much face time in this
chapter, and that’s because she hasn’t done all that much. Cleaning
and repairing…
61. But if you will forgive the long shot, you can see that the
household in general is doing quite well. Just look at those skill
bars filling up right and left! (But not center, because Phoebe is in
the center, and she’s maxed out.)
62. Dmitri is practicing a Very Important Speech with Bab, the house
bird. The vote was three for a bird, one for a womrat, and two for
no framming pets. Majority rules, right?
Bab is named for W. S. Gilbert himself, who started out writing
and illustrating long comic poems (many of which he later turned
into operas) under the pen name of “Bab.” These poems are known
as the “Bab Ballads.” Now you know.
And the Very Important Speech?
63. DMITRI: Rose, this may be redundant, because we’re already
engaged. Technically. But that was Leonid asking Adam, or maybe
Adam asking Leonid. I don’t know whose idea it was exactly. The
point is, it wasn’t us.
64. DMITRI: So this is Dmitri asking Rose: Will you marry me?
ROSE: Of course I will. (fondly) Silly!
65. Rose and Dmitri threw a very successful engagement party. You
will notice all the fun people are having, I hope. If I were a Sim,
the Fear of Having A Party would be autonomously permalocked,
so I throw very few even in the Sims, and I take even fewer
pictures.
How successful was it, you ask?
It was a Roof Raiser, and nobody removed any clothing at all!
66. Cute shot of Phobe and Chant having a private moment among the
party in full swing is cute.
67. ROSE: Oh, Poppa, isn’t it wonderful? Isn’t Dmitri the best boy in
the whole world?
OLD ADAM: I fear that if I answered that as you wish me to, your
sisters would have me hung, drawn, and quartered. But I am glad
to hear that you approve, my dove.
68. OLD ADAM: My dear friend, I cannot tell you how overjoyed I
am that our families are now to be united in truth!
LEONID: I too! Children are happy. And penalty is being wery
heavy to pay.
OLD ADAM: You needn’t rub it in. I was not looking forward to
paying it.
LEONID: You pay! I am one to be payink!
(Old Adam and Leonid look at each other for a long moment
before bursting into laughter)
LEONID: Not to tell children, da?
OLD ADAM: Naturally not!
69. Once that was out of the way, all that was left to do was for the
girls to try their luck in the Age Transition Lottery.
They both did pretty well, of course. I was hoping for Wacky.
(sigh) Phoebe even managed an outfit with stripes! And Rose kept
her hairdo, which I was not expecting.
70. With the OWBC girls out of the house, I was finally free to use the
college clock. (It’s against the OWBC rules, and while the story
may be unofficially Wacky, I do try to not actively cheat.) And use
the college clock I did!
Barely 72 game hours later, Dmitri, Catherynne, and Frederic were
graduating with 4.0s and not-too-horrible outwear.
71. Although not before throwing me a curveball.
CATHERYNNE (V.O.): Oh, Professor Douglas! I never thought
you could feel the same way about me!
PROFESSOR DOUGLAS WHEELER (V.O.): How could I not?
It’s just that it’s not ethical to date students.
CATHERYNNE (V.O.): But I only had one class from you, four
years ago!
PROFESSOR DOUGLAS (V.O.): Well, we have a lot of lost time
to make up for, then, don’t we?
72. You may have noticed that Ariadene didn’t graduate with the
others. Quite frankly, she sees no reason to do so. Free room and
board, friendly professors, and all the hot college boys you can talk
into (or out of) togas? Why would anyone want to be anywhere
else?
ARAIADENE: That’s right -- the party starts at nine. Don’t be
late! (hangs up, then, to herself with great satisfaction) Now I’m in
charge, this place is going to be a lot more fun!
Until next time, Happy Simming!
73. Notes, disclaimers, and other trivia
Had Rose been voted heir, the title of this Plotette would have been
Heiress Rose, which would have made more sense. It was based on
Princess Ida by Gilbert & Sullivan, although I have once again
played fast and loose with the cast list, and also eliminated both the
sexist parts and the boring parts -- which means a chunk of the first
act, half the second act, and just about all of the third act. (sigh) At
least it has some good music?
Something I didn’t notice until I wrote the introductions for the
characters is that Leonid and Old Adam have the same Nice-points
configuration as their operatic equivalents.
74. In the original, Hilarion (the male romantic lead) and his two best
friends do indeed spend most of the second act in women’s
clothing, and are accepted as female -- although one character does
note that “Two are tenors and one is a baritone!”* The actual
femininity of their outfits varies from production to production.
Hilarion also really does save Princess Ida from death, although in
the original it is accidental drowning due to falling into the pond
while upset. (Which seems rather hard to stage to me, but never
mind.)
* W. S. Gilbert, Princess Ida, act 2, scene 16. Available from
http://math.boisestate.edu/GaS/princess_ida/webop/pi_16d.html; accessed 22
May 2012
75. King Hildebrand (bass-baritone): Leonid Sanders
Hilarion, his son (tenor): Dmitri Sanders
Cyril, Hilarion’s friend (tenor): Frederic Miller
King Gama (comic baritone): Old Adam Shankel
Princess Ida, King Gama’s daughter (soprano): Rose Shankel
Florian, Hilarion’s friend (lyric baritone): Frederic Miller, mostly, unless you
want to count Ariadene’s joining Annya Var at the same time as splitting the
role, in which case you have to give Dmitri partial credit too
Lady Psyche, Professor of Humanties and Florian’s sister (soprano); and
Lady Blanche, Professor of Abstract Sciences (contralto): Ariadene Phillips
All other roles, most notably Princess Ida’s brothers, were eliminated.
76. Solnyshko is Russian for “sunshine,” and is a term of endearment
for a spouse, small child, or even a pet. However, it is rarely used
for boys over the age of ten because they strenuously object to
being called something so girly. (This has never stopped Leonid
from using it for his son, and Dmitri has given up arguing.)
Vocabulary and usage is courtesy of my Russian consultant,
Yousei, who writes “I’ll Be There For You” (available on
Boolprop). A big thank you to Yousei for the help!
77. The Grim Reaper’s lines, in order:
I don’t know. It’s not usual.
Oh, all right. Pick a hand.
Until next time, Happy Simming!
