One Ugly Pie 12


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One Ugly Pie 12

  1. 1. No need<br />One ugly pie<br />For more<br />Stargazing<br />
  2. 2.
  3. 3. Rink-a-dink-a<br />Rink-a-dink-a<br />Rink-a-dink-a<br />Rink-a-dink-a<br />
  4. 4.
  5. 5. Summer nights, so hot and sweltering. How I’ve nearly passed out during my sky a searching. Thankfully I persevered through the early hours of dawn to make it to the bathroom faucet where water is drawn. How I’m starting to despise the over lord of aliens so. What am I doing wrong? What ever am I doing wrong? What the *bleep* am I doing wrong?!<br />I’ll just keep looking though. I’ve still plenty of time ahead of me. But there’s got to be more to my life now than just sitting in front of a telescope. If they won’t come for me soon, I mustn’t let them win.<br />I can’t let this consume me anymore than it has to. It can’t be day and night. Or rather night and day. There’s more to life than that damn telescope.<br />And I’ve still got a plan.<br />
  6. 6. Today I invite a friend over. I can’t seem to remember her name, but she bothered me and my siblings (hope she pesters Zayl some more) when we were together as a band.<br />She called a few times before, asking oh so dearly, “Won’t you please continue our friendship?”<br />“So welcome to my home… music lady.”<br />“Thanks, Xerxes. I thought you might forget about me like so many people do. It’s hard work being a hobby leader and many people don’t like us one bit.”<br />“Maybe if you just stopped harassing us with magazine subscriptions, secret lot passes, and hobby plaques, we’d like you a pinch more. So let’s hang out, mkay?”<br />
  7. 7. My mind is at a blank.<br />“Pool?”<br />“Uh, sure. I guess. Though I’d rather be watching tv.”<br />“Then go watch tv.”<br />“Then I wouldn’t be hanging out with you.”<br />“Xerxes, I don’t care what you do. This is your house, do what you want. I’ll join you in whatever suits you.”<br />“Well, we’re playing pool and that’s it.”<br />
  8. 8. The game was going well enough until Rosie pops up. At first, it seems like she wants to chat with my guest, but then flips out her phone and chats on it within ear shot. This obnoxious behavior practically ruins the rest of our time spent at the billiards table. The hobby leader and I soon beat a hasty retreat.<br />
  9. 9. “How about we just go swimming?” she suggests. Not a bad idea, except her timid-ness on the diving board. Miss Hobby leader makes several attempts before finally just using the ladder. She should have opted for the slide that I use myself.<br />
  10. 10. Early in our swim, that freaky vampire scientist, Vidcund, or whatever his name is, just comes running in. See I spotted him doing something particularly foul, especially for a vampire during the day light<br />hours. He demands that I get out of the pool so he can shove me around and “teach me what for.” Accepting his challenge, I get out. But when I turn around, he’s gone.<br />
  11. 11. “Thanks for allowing me to come over. I’m surprised you didn’t want to just chat with me over the phone.”<br />“Yea, well it would have been a very short chat.”<br />“I’m sure it would seem that way. I’ve had phone calls that lasted up to two hours before.”<br />“Well, I didn’t have anything better to do (except watch TV and sleep).”<br />“When do you want to do this again?”<br />“I dunno. Whenever I feel like inviting you over. And it could be for a party. Depends on what I feel like doing for the day. And whether or not you decide to stand me up if it is a party.”<br />“Now why would I stand up a good friend like you?”<br />“You might have to go to work. At least that’s how some people excuse themselves.”<br />“Take care, Xerxes.”<br />“Yea, yea.”<br />
  12. 12.
  13. 13. Still no alien abduction. Since yesterday went so well, I decide to invite another guest over to the house. It was fun to talk to someone and not have to handle it strictly over the phone. I didn’t like the way those snapdragon plant things make me feel really anti-social. Besides, talking on the phone is so limiting.<br />For today, I opt to invite Marcie over. I guess what Yarby and I discussed a few days ago finally got to me. And yet, I don’t think she will be able to properly grieve for mom & dad, what with their urns locked in an inaccessible room at the memorial, it’ll at least be something to visit and be at peace in some way. I guess.<br />
  14. 14. “Are you still able to tear it up on the guitar?”<br />“I can still shred as good as any decent guitarist. I haven’t stopped practicing on the side, but I’m not able to play as often as I’d like. Maybe we should get back together and play a few songs sometime.”<br />“Sounds very tempting, but don’t you guys all have real jobs? I mean, here I am stuck running family businesses and you three could be living it up by being real rock gods.”<br />“I’m sure we could, brother, but it’s not always that way. While I did have fun when we were together, I have my eyes set on being an architect. Yarby and Zayl no doubt have their own dreams they wish to pursue.”<br />
  15. 15. “That’s easy for you to say, Marcie. You and the others have all that freedom I don’t. I’ve got all these limitations that prevent me from ever doing what I really want.”<br />“I’ll never be able to fully understand your circumstances, but must you continually view it as some kind of curse? Have you even been to any of the businesses?”<br />“No.”<br />“Then you don’t really know what it’s like. Outside of your current thought pattern, you could discover that there’s a certain knack about running a business that you could enjoy. At least attempt to run them properly. And if it doesn’t go well, try to at least enjoy your life in any way you can.”<br />“Fine, yea, sure.”<br />“Xerxes...”<br />
  16. 16. “I see you found the stereo.”<br />“Not that you have it hidden. Come dance with me.”<br />“Naw, I got better things to do.”<br />“What could you possibly have to do than hang out with your sister? Especially since you invited me to come over.”<br />“I’ve got a toilet and bathtub to scrub.”<br />
  17. 17. “You can’t hide from me, little brother. Let’s play some red hands.”<br />“*sigh* If you insist. By the way, did you hear the one about the sexually frustrated hawaiian?”<br />“No. I don’t believe I’ve heard this one before.”<br />“It’s a good one. They sent him to...”<br />I’ve been forewarned not to divulge everything that occurs in my life. Apparently some of it could cause offense or something. Whatever. I’m sure some of you people know how this joke ends.<br />
  18. 18. Hmmm, what on television today.<br />“How do you cook your eggs?”<br />“What on earth are you talking about? Eggs? And why are you in a swim suit?”<br />“I gave your pool a little test. I didn’t figure picking up swimming would be so easy.”<br />
  19. 19. “Why are you so hyped up? If I didn’t know any better, I swear you raised your voice at me just now.”<br />“I’m only excited because the sports channel is on. Gets my blood flowing and I just can’t help myself. Like these two guys boxing. I don’t know who they are, but I still want to root for one of them to win. Let’s just leave it at that.”<br />“You boys and your sports.”<br />“Isn’t that how you girls get about clothing, shopping, and jewelry?”<br />“That is a completely different set of circumstances.”<br />As if.<br />
  20. 20. The rest of the visit is spent flipping through channels. I couldn’t really decide what I wanted to watch and Marcie didn’t seem to mind the constant switching. In due time, it’s time to say good bye.<br />
  21. 21. “Thanks for having me, brother. I had fun and I hope to see you again soon.”<br />“Yea. Sure.”<br />“Don’t yea sure me. Just be a little more considerate, ok?”<br />“Fine. Just... I don’t know. Next time you see Yarby, just tell her I did let you come over, alright? I don’t want her nagging me.”<br />“She only cares.”<br />“I know. *sigh* I’ll see you later.”<br />“Farewell.”<br />
  22. 22. Tonight is different. This time, I’ve got a ghost wandering around. I cross my fingers and hope the thing doesn’t bother me none.<br />
  23. 23. Later in the evening as I keep looking through the telescope, I catch two screams at different hours. Seems the ghost was kind enough to leave me be and decided to go harass Rosie instead. Thank goodness.<br />
  24. 24. The following morning I invite another friend over to hang out. I didn’t mean to invite her as I had someone else in mind, but figure “Why not? She’s already here.” The early part of the day we play a game of Marco Polo. I think she’s cheating.<br />
  25. 25.
  26. 26.
  27. 27. “By the way, did you hear?”<br />“Hear about what?”<br />“Well, Katelyn Subject, Nervous’ wife. Well she made a new enemy.”<br />“Uh huh.”<br />“Well, she did! And what’s more she’s an enemy to some townie girl. Isn’t that just random?”<br />“Right...”<br />“What do you suppose caused them to become enemies? You think maybe Katelyn caught this townie in bed with Nervous?”<br />“I don’t know.”<br />“Or maybe it’s just something else. You’re right, Nervous is too much of a family guy to do something like that. He wouldn’t cheat.”<br />
  28. 28. After sending my guest home, another drops by for Rosie. She had been spying on Vidcund as well.<br />“Can’t a vampire sleep in his coffin in peace?”<br />
  29. 29.
  30. 30. I’ll give this running a business a shot. Walking in, I notice plenty of the merchandise is already sold and in need of replacement, but that doesn’t stop me from calling in the employees and opening up shop.<br />
  31. 31. In the midst of restocking, I notice one of the employees I thought was to tend the cash register instead pressing a customer into a sale.<br />“Come now, you really want to purchase a grill. How else will you spend warm summer afternoons while partying? Don’t you want to grill up some burgers and ribs?”<br />Knowing full well that I’d rather leave the sales pitch to myself or shall I say, I’d much prefer that I didn’t have to bother ringing up the customers knowing that there is a professional cashier at the controls.<br />“And that is why you shall man the cash register, mkay?”<br />
  32. 32. The other employee is supposed to be a skilled stylist, but I have my doubts. How can he claim to have such skill when he fails to even do it correctly on the first customer to take up his services. I do find it odd that in the end she tipped him for such a horrid job.<br />Note: for some reason, putting a sim in a uniform causes them to put on another face, similar to when a servo puts on a sim face when going into formal wear. Does anyone know how to fix this?<br />
  33. 33. With the store being reopened, it attracted a few new customers. While I know the shop is already a ten star business, I couldn’t help but want to win their customer loyalty. Hopefully they’ll find the establishment to their liking and purchase a few items.<br />
  34. 34.
  35. 35. “What are you doing here, Chloe?”<br />“The same reason you are: shopping for outdoor lighting.”<br />“Oh.”<br />
  36. 36. “Hey boss, I got a bone to pick with you.”<br />“About what?”<br />“Listen mister, I’ve been toiling away at the cash register for three generations now and I’ve yet to receive a raise for my services. Not only that, but I’m sick and tired of my face getting covered up in this mask and this uniform sucks. That’s why I’m quitting!”<br />
  37. 37. “Wait, no! You can’t just quit.”<br />“Watch me.”<br />“But who will run the register.”<br />“Find someone who cares. I’m out of this joint. I’ve quit better jobs than this.”<br />“Wait, please don’t go! I need a professional cash register person.”<br />
  38. 38. With the professional gone, I’m left scatterbrained as to what to do. Who will care for the paying customers? Certainly not the stylist. He’d likely mess things up. That can only mean hiring on the spot. But who would accept such a hiring?<br />
  39. 39.
  40. 40. “This job sucks.”<br />
  41. 41. Not even an hour on the job and the new employee is slacking off. If I wasn’t so busy restocking, I’d send her straight back to work.<br />
  42. 42. With customers starting to line up and the day getting late, it’s time to close up shop. I end up caring for the customers ready to pay since someone else is choosing not too. I definitely want to fire her, but perhaps it was just a matter of bad timing. I’ll give her another chance.<br />
  43. 43.
  44. 44. This night, the servo ghost haunts again. Instead of going after Rosie again, as I hoped, she comes after me instead. I don’t keep track of how many times she interrupts me, but it was enough to tick me off and ruin an otherwise good few hours of getting the attention of the aliens.<br />
  45. 45. The next morning, a gypsy waltzes onto the lot. Leaving behind a lamp, she claims a genie inhabits it. Well, if it is a genie, then that means I have three wishes awaiting me. I hope that this somehow works in my favor.<br />
  46. 46. Rather than deal with the genie immediately, I invite another friend over to the house. I don’t rightly remember how I met him, but he is a friend to me. Perhaps he is some fan from back in the day I befriended or something. Whatever the case may be, we enjoy the time spent together.<br />
  47. 47.
  48. 48. Time to see if this thing is what it really is.<br />“Greetings master. I am the genie of the lamp. And I say neigh that my name is Shazzam and I am not secretly voiced by Robin Williams. And unlike the genie from that movie, I have no problems at all with granting you the wish of bringing back the dead. Now what three desires do you have, master?”<br />SHA-ZING!<br />
  49. 49. “Well, I wish to be abducted by aliens.”<br />“Ho hooo! I cannot grant such a wish, master. Outside of returning the dead to life, I can only save you from death, extend your life, make you more attractive, and the ever popular grant you money.”<br />“Life is dwindling away in my search for aliens... I’ll take a longer life span for now. Thought you’d grant any wish.”<br />“Well this isn’t that kind of deal. I’m very limited. I worked for gypsies you see, and they bind my powers. But Bing-a-Ding-Shalabeam! You have a longer life now, master.”<br />“Thanks, see ya around.”<br />
  50. 50. “I’ve wised up to you mister. You’ve been searching for aliens. Well I tell you what, you ain’t gonna get on no rocket ship so long as I draw breathe!”<br />
  51. 51. “What does it matter if I get abducted or not? It’s my life, I’ll do with it as I see fit.”<br />“Have you no respect for your mother? She purposely took away those telescopes because she herself was abducted and didn’t want any of her kids to go through the same thing. She solidified her choice after your sister Marcie was taken away.”<br />“But Marcie had a grand ol’ time so you have no clue what you’re talking about. This discussion is over with, ya old hag!”<br />
  52. 52.
  53. 53.
  54. 54. “Heya, Ratna. How’s it? No I haven’t been abducted yet, so don’t bother asking.”<br />“I am doing well, Xerxes. Is this another one of those fun time visits like the last?”<br />“You could say that.”<br />“And what would be the proper terminology to label this visit then?”<br />“Happy fun time. Come in. I just heard about this new movie and I’d like to see it.”<br />
  55. 55. “Tell me you haven’t already seen this one.”<br />“Can’t say that I have. Tell me, Xerxes, is the only reason I’m over here is because you so dearly want me to enjoy a movie with you or is there something on your mind?”<br />“I haven’t been abducted yet and I don’t know what’s wrong. So far I’ve extended my adult life through genie power.”<br />“Ah, so that was your plan. To extend your life.”<br />“No. That was just by chance. I still have yet to implement my true plan, but I’m not at a point where I feel comfortable with going through with it just yet. I’m waiting for the last possible moment.”<br />“As you wish.”<br />
  56. 56. “And well, I did invite you over more for than just watching a movie.”<br />“Oh, and that would be?”<br />“Slide on over and you’ll find out.”<br />
  57. 57.
  58. 58.
  59. 59.
  60. 60. The next morning I head back to the shop, bringing a couple of snap dragons along to help out with the cash register-ess. However, that leads to another problems altogether.<br />
  61. 61. “I quit!”<br />“Quit? But you haven’t even been on the job for an entire day!”<br />“I don’t care. I don’t like the job, it’s just too boring. I can’t be a slave to work, I must be a free person. So I quit. End of story, bye-bye. See ya later.”<br />Am I that terrible at running a business?<br />
  62. 62. “Abhijeet? Is that you?”<br />“Ya, bro. Was goin’ on dude?”<br />“Listen, I was told that you’re a family friend. Think you can help me out?”<br />“What can I do for ya, man?”<br />“See, I’m in a bind and I’m in need of someone to stand at the cash register and...”<br />
  63. 63. “Hold it right there, man. I already got a job and I aim to keep it.”<br />“But isn’t this important? Family friend calling out for help and you turn your back on him?”<br />“Listen, bro, I’m a good friend, but sometimes we gotta have our limits. I can’t just quit my job at the drop of a dime, dude. There are people that are counting on me just as much as you want my help. Maybe I can help you some other way, but this just ain’t it, man. Sorry.”<br />
  64. 64. Just as I thought I was doomed to run the register, Yarby walks into the store. A smile creeps onto my face, one that I simply cannot hold back.<br />“Yarby! Sister, how are you doing?”<br />“…”<br />“Thanks for dropping by the store. I know there must be all manner of things I could sale you, but I do have something far more important to ask of you than any sale.”<br />“…”<br />
  65. 65. I fill Yarby in on the situation as best as I can. Hard to explain how two employees have already walked out on the job, especially when one of them has been with the store for so long.<br />“So think you can do it for me? I’ll be sure to pay you extra, being family and all.”<br />“…”<br />“Glad to have you on board. You’ll find the register right behind me and I think there’s a manual of operation around here someplace. Thanks a lot!”<br />
  66. 66. With Yarby as a cash regiter-ess, the business starts running a lot smoother. I’m sure there had to be some reason why those other two just quit. I wonder if it’s some kind of weird behavior observed by those known as simselves.<br />
  67. 67. “Greetings to you Rosie. I, death, am here to collect your life and bring you into the next world. Know that in life, you will be the first in a long time to finally die of old age. And might I add that you are not just dying any normal death, but I brought the hula girls for you as well. Welcome to a death gone platinum. Enjoy your trip and don’t forget to leave behind your inheritance to those you hold close to your heart. Or whatever you plant people have.<br />
  68. 68. Seven people benefitted from Rosie’s death. Of those seven, here are five:<br />Sharla Pie - $990<br />Tina Pie - $960<br />Yarby Pie - $940<br />Daniel the Bartender - $840<br />Herbert Goodie - $970<br />To the other two... I’m sure they were close friends or perhaps family.<br />Knowledge Platinum Urn<br />
  69. 69. As for me, I was grateful the plant was finally dead. I finally inherit the home family business from Rosie and I won’t have to listen to her nagging anymore.<br />
  70. 70.
  71. 71. Having had enough social interaction for some time, I’ve gone back to my sewing. Though I could get away with placing the sewing machine in a more accessible area of the house, what with Rosie now dead and not able to gossip about my hobby, I feel more comfortable in my back room.<br />
  72. 72. Rosie isn’t completely out of my life though. That very same night she came out to haunt. I notice that she went to cheer her unfinished painting, but quickly make a beeline for me. I experience another night of star gazing wasted due to paranormal occurrences more than my own.<br />
  73. 73. So<br />Begins<br />Another<br />Day<br />
  74. 74. “Greetings once more, master. This is your final wish. Shall I guess that you desire several more days added to your life?”<br />“As if the previous two wishes weren’t hints enough?”<br />“As you wish, master. Bing-a-ding-shalazing!”<br />
  75. 75.
  76. 76. “Please let tonight be the night.”<br />
  77. 77.
  78. 78. Time Now for<br />Something<br />Different.<br />In light of this chapter, I’m going to include a few photos that don’t quite fit in with the narrative. Hope you enjoy the humor.<br />
  79. 79. “You really need to clean up your messes.”<br />I’d close down the home business, but since it was the first business, I think that’d be breaking the Pure Entrepreneur rule. It is tiring to continually have guests over complaining about a messy house though.<br />
  80. 80. Sometimes I have to wonder what sims are really seeing when they spy on their neighbors. Though I also wonder why everyone spies on the same person.<br />
  81. 81. Why so angry?<br />“I’m trying to mourn, but my parents urns are in an inaccessible location.”<br />
  82. 82. Smustling knows no limits!<br />
  83. 83. Xerxes! Toast is off limits!<br />
  84. 84. Xerxes giving his best ‘Sofa Make Out’ face.<br />
  85. 85. Ratna was quite peeved that Xerxes left her to go stargazing.<br />
  86. 86. Perhaps having the Romantic Yarby in charge of the cash register is a bad idea.<br />
  87. 87. And back to our<br />Regularly scheduled<br />Uglacy<br />
  88. 88. At long last! The spot light was finally back on me! After so many countless nights searching, the aliens have finally come for me. Now if only I wasn’t suddenly so fearful for my life.<br />
  89. 89. I am both incredibly pleased and utterly ruined over the experience. But in the end, I’m just happy that I’ll never have to go through with this ever again.<br />
  90. 90. Fin<br />