1. After I read Midnight Sun on Stephanie's site I was totally intrigured by the idea of how Edward
saw the world and his relationship with Bella. Then I finished Breaking Dawn and it was my
favorite book ever! I hate a hard time with some of it, like a lot of fans out there, but I generally
love it! That got me thinking, what was Edward thinking? This was what I came up with.
Before I begin this chapter I just want to re-iterate that this is Stephanie Meyer's work and
characters. I have borrowed them to play with. This is Edwards Version of what happened in
Breaking Dawn ( the first book anyway). I hope you enjoy and please do let me know what you
think! Review it if you like, I'd always like to hear opinions!
Breaking Dawn, Edwards POV
Preface
I'd lived many decades. I ran into my share of monsters, being one myself. I'd never felt the need
to run from them, I was fast, I was strong. But this, this was different. How do you run away from
yourself?
I knew this day was drawing near, but it had been something I was dreading and something I
knew I could not live without.
She was everything I wanted. She was everything I needed and I knew what I much do.
But how do you kill the one you love?
Chapter 1. Engaged
I was in my room listening to music, trying to relax. Bella had wanted some time to run out and
pick up a few things. Ever dependant, I knew that she wanted to go on her own, so I let her
without even the slightest hesitation (that she could see). I desperately wanted to go with her, but
I knew that she would be safe.
But, here I sat. Alone, in my room. While she was out there alone I worried about her safety. She
was so very breakable, and trouble never had any difficulty finding her.
I must admit, I did worry about her a little less knowing that she was in a safe, reliable car. Her
Chevy truck had finally died...with a little bit of help from Rosalie ( who was starting to warm to the
idea of having Bella as a sister, even though she wasn't pleased that Bella could so easily give up
her human life to become one of us).
After her truck had...died, I delighted in her promise to allow me to buy her a new car., which she
would only allow after the truck was officially done. I knew she wanted nothing spectacular, but I
needed her to be in the safest vehicle possible. I happened to know someone at a Mercedes
Dealership in Europe and he got me in touch with the right people. The car, The Guardian (perfect
name if you were to ask me to watch over my Bella), hadn't even been released in Europe but I
managed to finagle one.
It was perfect. Better than I'd hoped! It was virtually indestructible, exactly what my destructible
Bella needed. It had missile proof glass and four thousand pounds of body amour. You could
even take a flame thrower to it and not even damage the paint. Perfect in case of car accidents or
falling trees or too aggressive ware wolves.
I knew she would be embarrassed by it. It was much too extravagant for her. She had been
hoping to see a Toyota or a Ford or even another Chevy, at the very least one of the symbols she
knew. Se had been embarrassed and overwhelmed when I revealed the car to her.

2. "What is that?" She asked incredulously after I brought her outside to look at it when it had first
arrived.
"Why, Bella, it's your new car of course. Don't you like it?" I asked, a little of the excitement had
faded from my voice, having done it intentionally knowing she wouldn't make too much of a big
deal about it if she knew she would hurt my feelings.
"Of course Edward, but it's too much." She replied as she put her hand to my face.
"Don't worry, it's only your before car anyway" I hadn't actually meant for that little bit of
information to slip out yet, but I had been distracted by her lovely chocolate brown eyes.
"My what? Before what?" She asked stunned.
"Well, this one is actually a loaner. After...." I started to say it, but it was still so difficult to think
about the moment I dreaded, the moment that I knew would come all too soon, the day her heart
stopped beating. The day I killed her. "After you become one of us." I whispered my voice so low
I'm sure she barely heard it. She knew that despite how much I loved her, this was not an easy
topic for me to discuss.
That effectively ended the conversation and she murmured her thanks, only a little grudgingly,
with some of her sweet kisses.
Yes, that day was coming quickly upon me, a hard day it would be. I began to feel myself wallow.
I decided this would not be how I spent my day. I turned my thought to a day much closer at
hand. A happy day, a joyous day and one I couldn't wait for. The day I would finally make Bella my
wife. I lingered over the words in my head; Bella, my wife. She would be my wife and I would be
her husband. I remembered, with a smile, the day we had gone to tell Charlie that we were
engaged.
She fidgeted the whole time. She finally agreed to wear my mother's ring. It meant more to me
than she could even imagine and I held her hand tightly in mine so she would stop trying to hide
her hand in her pockets. I had head Charlie's cruiser well before she did and she tensed when the
sound reached her and continued to fidget more.
"Stop fidgeting, Bella. Please try to remember that you're not confessing to a murder here"
"Easy for you to say." She grumped.
Charlie was walking up the sidewalk and I could tell she was listening closely, tensing with each
step he took.
"Calm down, Bella." I whispered as I heart her heart rapidly accelerating. We heard the door slam
and Bella jumped.
"Hey Charlie," I called, feeling fairly confident.
"No!" Bella hissed under her breathe.
"What?" I whispered back.
"Wait till he hangs up his gun!" I chuckled and ran my fingers through my hair. She was silly. As
Charlie came around the corned in his uniform he made a face, clearly still upset it was I who was
sitting with Bella, he would have preferred Jacob to be the one she loved, however he did try to
be civil.

3. "Hey kids, what's up?"
"We'd like to talk to you," I said "We have some good news." He was suspicious immediately.
"Good news?" He growled glancing right at Bella.
"Have a seat Dad." He raised an eyebrow and stared at me. I knew exactly what he was thinking.
He stomped over to his recliner and sat on the very edge of his seat.
"Don't get worked up, Dad," Bella started to say. "Everything is ok" I grimaced at her words.
Okay? It was more than okay. If it were me I would have used words like wonderful or perfect or
incredible, but certainly not okay. That was like calling Bella simply pretty.
"Sure it is Bella, sure it is. If everything is so great, then why are you sweating bullets?"
"I'm not sweating," She lied. She was indeed a little sweaty, but she looked glorious, then with
that thought I had to remind myself to focus.
She leaned into me for support as she wiped the sweat from her forehead. As she did this,
Charlie's thoughts became very clear and panicked; I barely had time to decipher them before he
shouted.
"You're pregnant!" Charlie had exploded. "You're pregnant, aren't you?" And although the
question was meant to be for Bella he was glaring directly at me.
"No! Of course not." Bella shouted. I knew she must be upset; this was exactly the thought she
told me people would have when we told them we were getting married.
Charlie relaxed slightly believing what Bella was saying. "Oh! Sorry."
"Apology accepted." Bella said, stalling. There was a long pause and I realized that they were
waiting for me to say something. Bella looked at me with panic in her eyes. I could tell she
couldn't do it and needed me to step in. I smiled at her, squared myself and looked directly at her
father.
"Charlie, I realize that I've gone about this out of order. Traditionally, I should have asked you first.
I mean no disrespect, but since Bella has already said yes and I don't want to diminish her choice
in the matter, instead of asking for her hand, I'm asking you for your blessing. We're getting
married, Charlie. I love her more than anything in the world, more than my own life, and – by
some miracle she loves me that way too. Will you give us your blessing? After a moment I saw
Charlie's eyes shift, his eyes were now locked on Bella's ring.
Bella held her breath beside me as Charlie started to change from fair to red, red to purple, purple
to blue. She started to get up tentatively. "Give him a minute." I said so only she could hear as I
softly squeezed her hand.
The silence was long, very long for Bella. But in the silence Charlie started to return to his normal
color. His lips were pursed and his eyebrows were furrowed. He was deep in thought. He studied
both of us for a moment. As his thoughts seemed to clear, I relaxed and I knew Bella could feel
me beside her.
"Guess I'm not that surprised," He grumbled. "Knew I'd have to deal with something like this soon
enough. You sure about this?" He demanded after he heard Bella sigh.
"I'm one hundred percent sure about Edward." Bella said without skipping a beat.

4. "Getting married though? What's the rush?" He asked, suspicious again.
Bella and I both knew the rush. She was getting older everyday and didn't want to appear too
much older than me. She was turning nineteen and I would always be frozen at seventeen. She
knew that the only way I would change her would be if she was my wife. She wanted to be one of
us so badly she was willing to give up everything she had been taught. Of course these were
things we couldn't share with Charlie.
"We're going away to Dartmouth together in the fall Charlie," I reminded him. "I'd like to do that,
well, the right way. It's how I was raised". I explained shrugging.
I could tell from Charlie's thought that he was searching for an argument but we all knew he
wasn't going to find one. No one wanted their daughter shacking up with their boyfriend.
"I knew this was coming." Charlie muttered. Then he was almost happy.
"Dad?" Bella asked anxious, clearly afraid he was having a nervous break down. She glanced at
me and I tried not to frown at Charlie's thoughts. I knew they were probably right.
"Ha!" Charlie burst with a chuckle and Bella jumped. "Ha, ha, ha!" We watched as Charlie
doubled over in fits of laughter.
"Okay fine," Charlie choked." Get married," More laughter. "But..."
"But? What?" Bella demanded.
"But you have to tell your mom! I'm not saying one word to Renee! That's all yours!"
And that was how we first told anyone we were getting married.
I remembered how Bella had been terrified of telling Renee, probably even more than she was
about telling Charlie.
"Well Bella," Renee had begun after Bella finally managed to tell her she was marrying me. "I'm a
little miffed that you waited so long to tell me. Plane tickets only get more expensive. Oooh."
She'd worried and wondered if Phil's cast would be off in time.
"Back up a second, Mom," Bella gasped expecting more of a reaction. "What do you mean,
waited so long? We just got en-en..." She'd stuttered with the word, still having trouble with the
concept. "things settled, you know, today.
They chatted for a while and Renee was surprised. She seemed to assume we were heading in
that direction when we were visiting back in April. And then Renee had surprised her buy telling
her she was not making a mistake, that's what Bella needed to hear.
For the past few weeks, although I wouldn't say Bella has been excited for the wedding, but she
hadn't been dreading it either.
I had been pleased because Renee and Esme had been in such close contact. Renee seemed to
love Esme as most people did and they hadn't even met.
Bella didn't need to do a single thing for the wedding. For one, even if she wanted to, I'm not sure
Alice would have let her anyway. She was having such a great time with the flowers and the
decor and the menu for our human guests. For another I didn't want her worrying about anything
unnecessary. She had been through so much with the Mutt and Victoria and the Volturi breathing
down our necks. I knew she was trying to prepare for the day that I dreaded. I wanted her to

5. experience everything human that she could before she never would be able to again. I let her
sleep as much as possible this was as much for her as much as it was for me (I loved watching
her sleep in my arms although I wouldn't miss those nightmares she was always having. I fed her
as much as possible, something new everyday.
Plus I knew that Charlie was stressing her out more and more. He had been counting on Renee
to be the heavy but was sorely disappointed.
Today I knew that she would not be happy. Although Alice did everything in her power to keep her
mind away from Bella's wedding dress so as not to spoil my surprise at seeing her on our
wedding day...our wedding day, what a glorious thought! I still had picked up from Alice that today
was the final fitting. The time to make sure that Bella's dress would fit her perfectly.
I tried to picture Bella in a wedding dress. I thought of so many styles. Bella in a long, white
flowing gown. Bella in a long, white, slinky gown. Bella in a big white, pouffy gown. Pictures
cycled in my head, each one more beautiful than the last. I knew there was no way I could be
disappointed. I knew she would look perfect in whatever gown she had chosen. I smiled, and all
my worries about changing her and the Volturi and the mutt disappeared. She was my Bella and I
was her Edward. And I was there with her. I was in my happy place.
Before I begin this chapter I just want to re-iterate that this is Stephanie Meyer's work and
characters. I have borrowed them to play with. This is Edwards Version of what happened in
Breaking Dawn ( the first book anyway). I hope you enjoy and please do let me know what you
think! Review it if you like, I'd always like to hear opinions!
Chapter 2 – Long Night
"I miss you already." Bella said, pouting.
"I don't have to leave. I can stay..." I said nuzzling her hair.
"Mmmm," was her response. I bent my head to her lips and the sweet sound of her heart and our
lips were the only sounds in the still night. She was tempting, no longer her blood though, not the
taste of it anyway. The thing that tempted me now was her heart, the sound of her blood pumping
as she got excited by my kisses. I got used to the burning in my throat; it hardly even bothered
me now. It was a different burning in my body that was painful now, the burning of my desire for
her.
I opened my eyes to find her starting back at me. She was a goddess sent here to tempt me. I
desperately wanted to know what she was thinking, just as I always did. I saw the same longing
in her eyes that I felt for her.
"Definitely staying." I murmured into her ear.
"No, no. It's your bachelor party. You have to go." She said, but I could tell she didn't mean it. Her
right hand tightened in my hair and her left pressed into the small of my back. I stroked her face
as I gazed into her eyes. I didn't want to leave her anymore than she wanted me to go.
"Bachelor parties are designed for those who are sad to see the passing of their single days. I
couldn't be more eager to have them behind me. So there's no point." And it was true, after more
than eighty years I was glad to be settling down with my Bella.
"True." She breathed carefully to be quiet so as not to wake Charlie who slept in the next room.

6. This would be the last time that we would cuddle up in this room. This would be the last time I had
to sneak in through her window in order to be with her at night. She was huddled in a blanket; I
had to sacrifice my shirt which now lay of the floor beside the bed. I felt her shudder as she lay
beside me and I bent to her pressing my hard, cold lips to her lovely, warm ones. And it was my
turn to sigh as she pressed her soft tongue to my lips, a surge of urgency for her washed through
me and I started to pull away knowing that if we continued I wouldn't be able to last to the
wedding night, our wedding night.
"Wait." She said gripping my shoulders and hugging me to her. She kicked her leg free of the
blanket and seductively wrapped it around my waist. "Practice make perfect."
I laughed. "Well, we should be fairly close to perfection by this point, then shouldn't we? Have you
slept at all in the last month?" I knew she hadn't been sleeping well with all of the changes that
she had been going though.
"But this is the dress rehersal," She reminded me, like I needed any more reminding "and we've
only practiced certain scenes. It's no time for playing safe."
I didn't answer her. I went still and straight. She just didn't understand the constant care I had to
take so that I didn't break her. "Bella," I whispered. I knew she knew what I was thinking.
"Don't start this again," she said, rolling her eyes. "A deal's a deal."
"I don't know. It's too hard to concentrate when you're with me like this. I – I can't think straight. I
won't be able to control myself. You'll get hurt." It was always at the forefront of my mind.
"I'll be fine."
"Bella..."
"Shh!" She pressed her lips to mine. I knew she would never let me out of our deal but I had to
try. I had made a deal and I would make good on it, unless I could convince her to change her
mind.
"How are your feet?" I asked.
"Toasty warm." She answered, not understanding my meaning.
"Really? No second thoughts? It's not too late to change your mind."
"Are you trying to ditch me?" She joked.
"Just making sure. I don't want you to do anything you're not sure about." I was giving her another
way out, knowing she would never take it.
"I'm sure about you, the rest I can live through." I hesitated; hating that marriage was still not
something that excited her as much as it did me.
"Can you?" I asked barely a whisper. "I mean the wedding – which I am positive you will survive
despite your qualms – but afterward...what about Renee, what about Charlie?"
She sighed. I knew she was getting tired of my questions, but I needed to be sure that she was
sure. "I'll miss them." And I knew she was not thinking about herself, she was thinking how that
they would miss her. She was always putting others above herself.

7. "Angela and Ben and Jessica and Mike?" I started naming all her human friends.
"I'll miss my friends, too." She smiled in the darkness, to herself mostly. "Especially Mike. Oh,
Mike! How will I go on?" She feigned distress, I growled.
She laughed but then said seriously, "Edward, we've been through this. I know it will be hard, but
this is what I want. I want you and I want you forever. One lifetime is simply not enough for me."
This of course was what I wanted too. I wanted her for more than forever.
"Frozen forever at eighteen." I whispered.
"Everyone woman's dream come true," she teased while I was trying to make her see just how
serious this really way.
"Never changing...never moving forward."
"What does that mean?"
I thought for a moment making my thoughts clear. "Do you remember when we told Charlie we
were getting married? And he thought that you were...pregnant?"
"And he thought about shooting you?" She teased with a light laugh. "Admit it – for one second
her honestly considered it." I didn't answer. I wanted her to listen to me. To take what I was saying
seriously. There were so many things she would never experience. There were so many things I
could never give here, like a child.
"What, Edward?"
"I just wish...well I wish that he'd been right."
She made an indistinguishable sound that sound remotely like a cat throwing up, obviously
shocked.
"More that there was sine way he could have been. That we had that kind of potential. I hate
taking that away from you, too."
She hesitated and I stared at her. It was just something I couldn't give her. I could never give it to
us. I could never be a father as Carlisle had been one to me, as well as my own father, Edward
had been before him.
"I know what I'm doing." She said simply.
"How could you know that, Bella? Look at my mother, look at my sister. It's not as easy a sacrifice
as you imagine."
"Esme and Rosalie get by just fine. If it's a problem later, we can do what Esme did, we'll adopt."
I sighed heavily and then I was suddenly angry. "It's not right! I don't want you to have to make
sacrifices for me. I want to give you things, not take things away from you. I don't want to steal
your future. If I were human-" I started to say, put she was fast. She put her hand over my lips
soothing me.
"You are my future. No, stop. No Moping or I'm calling your brothers to come and get you. Maybe
you need a bachelor party."
I thought for a moment. She was right. It was the eve of my wedding, our wedding. I was marrying

8. the most beautiful woman in the world. She wanted me and I more than wanted her and nothing
was going to change that.
"I'm sorry. I am moping. Must be nerves/" I said as I touched her cheek.
"Are your feet getting cold?"
"Not in that sense. I've been waiting a century to marry you, Miss Swan. The wedding ceremony
is the one thing I can't wait –" I stopped mid sentence as new voices popped into me head. Yo!
Bro, we know you're in there! Emmett called from outside, of course I could hear them only in my
head. "Oh, for the love of all things holy!"
"What's wrong?" Bella asked, concern clouding her voice.
I gritted my teeth listening to Emmett inside my head. You'd better get your ass out here, it's party
time! "You don't have to call my brothers. Apparently Emmett and Jasper are not going to let me
bow out of tonight."
She squeezed me tighter, as if not sure she could let go, but she reluctantly released me. "Have
fun." She said trying to keep her voice light.
There was an awful squeal on the window, reminiscent of nails on a chalkboard, and Bella
shuttered at the awful sound.
"If you don't send Edward out," Emmett, who was still invisible to Bella, hissed. "We're coming in
after him."
She laughed. "Go, before they break my house."
I rolled my eyes but stood and replaced my shirt. I didn't want to leave her, there had been so few
times when we had not spend the night together. My favorite thing to do was watch her sleep. I
bent to give her a final kiss on her forehead.
"Get to sleep. You have a big day tomorrow." I ordered.
"Thanks! That's sure to help me wind down." She griped.
"I'll meet you are the alter." I said smiling.
"I'll be the one in white." She smiled back at me, sounding very casual, like we got married
everyday.
I chuckled. How I didn't want to leave. "Very convincing." I suddenly crouched low and coiled like
a spring. I found my way swiftly to the ground and I knew I had been too fast for Bella to see, but I
had fun landing on Emmett. He cursed and I laughed, it served him right for stealing me from my
Bella.
"You'd better not make him late," I heard Bella murmur quietly, but still sounding as if she were
right next to me
Jasper was at Bella's window, radiating a peaceful calm. "Don't worry, Bella. We'll get him home
in plenty of time." I hoped he was helping her to relax. She did have a very big day tomorrow and
did need her rest.
I heard Bella again, "Jasper? What do vampires do at bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a
strip club, are you?" I chuckled. There was an idea. Take 3 male vampires to a place filled with

9. people and women and sweat and heat and high emotions. Not that a place like that could ever
hold appeal for me, Bella was the only one I ever looked at, the only one I ever saw, the only one
I ever wanted to see.
"Don't tell her anything!" Emmett growled and I smacked him, laughing again.
"Relax," Jasper soothed. "We Cullens have our own version. Just a few mountain lions, a couple
of grizzly bears. Pretty much an ordinary night out."
"Thanks Jasper." He came to stand by me and put his arm over my shoulder as we prepared to
leave. All I wanted to do was to climb back in that window and lay with my beautiful bride-to-be in
my arms.
You're so whipped! Emmett thought, staring at me. I growled and his grin widened and then he
ran into the forest as I took a stop towards him. I decided that I would take a page from Bella's
book. I knew that my brothers really wanted to share this time with me. Emmett and Rosalie and
Jasper and Alice had already been married several times, which meant several bachelor parties
for each of them. This was my first and I knew that they had come to believe that I would never
meet someone, would never fall in love. This bachelor party was as much for them as it was for
me.
"Seattle?" I asked as we ran through the woods.
Wherever we can find you some nice, mean mountain lions, bro. Emmett thought somewhere to
my right.
We ran in silence for a but. My mind was on what would happen tomorrow. When I could turn to
Bella and know that she was no longer Isabella Swan, but Isabella Cullen. The thought filled me
with joy and my thoughts drifted to our wedding night. Bella had made one provision for us to get
married; she played on my wanting her to experience everything human. There was only one
thing she wanted to experience while she was still human. She wanted for us to make love and I
had agreed, anything to make her my wife.
Emotions flooded through me, terror at the possibility of hurting her, neverousness because
neither one of us had experience in that particular department and of course pure longing and lust
to be with Bella in the most primal of acts.
"Don't worry Edward". Jasper had said, feeling my emotions rolling off me in waves. Everything
will be fine. I'm still surprised you managed to hold out this long; she is very obviously ready for
the two of you to seal the deal, as it were.
"Yeah, do you know how much money I lost?" Emmett grumped.
"It's your own fault for betting again Alice." Jasper interjected.
"I honestly, am not sure at times either. I thought it was bad when I only wanted her blood, but this
longing, this desire was almost too much. I can't tell you how many times I almost came to giving
in."
"Well, why didn't you? Maybe I could have recouped some of my losses." Emmett pressed. I
knew it would be difficult for him to understand. Rosalie was no human and he didn't need to hide
his desires from her. I thought for a moment, trying to put in words he might understand.
"Would you allow someone to destroy Rosalie? Would you let someone pull her limb from limb
and burn the pieces?

10. "Hell, no!" He growled, more fierce than usual, more so than I had heard him in a very long time.
"Now, imagine if that someone was you, you were ripping Rose limb from limb, simply because
you lost control. Could you ever forgive yourself for that? That's what it would feel like for me. If I
lost control I could break her beyond repair. I still hope to keep her human as long as possible."
Emmett pondered a moment "I see your point. You are stronger than I, brother."
As I considered what it might be like for me to be with Bella in every manner of the word, I looked
at both my brothers. A new emotion flooded me as a question formed in my mind.
"Don't be embarrassed, Edward. What is your question?" Sometimes Jasper's gift was a blessing
and curse.
"Well, I was wondering," I started to say as I stopped to lean on a large boulder looking at the
ground. Jasper and Emmett had stopped and double backed at my abrupt stop. "What it's like.
What it will feel like when we do, you know, make love for the first time."
There was no way to hide my embarrassment. It was true that I didn't blush that spectacular color
that Bella did, but my grimaced as I said the words. Emmett barked a laugh so loud it scared
some birds from a near by tree.
"There's nothing in the world like it. It's a burning, a fire from within you. It needs to escape and
there's only one way to get rid of it." Emmett said and then pondered a moment," Well there is
more than one way, but only one method." He barked his laugh again.
"It's loosing yourself in the one you're with. Everything is heightened. It's the pleasure and the
pain. It's a pain like no other." Jasper added.
"How can I loose myself when she's still human? What if I hurt her? How do I show her pleasure
and still hold back enough that I don't hurt her?"
"You just will, man. It's just something you have to do. You can't plan it. I know it isn't helpful, but
this is what Bella wants and you seem to be in the habit of giving her what she wants." Emmett
said smiling.
"My suggestion is to enjoy your pleasure, allow yourself to feel it and enjoy it, but focus your
pleasure onto Bella. Make her feel what you are feeling. Listen to her. She will let you know when
you aren't doing something right and of course, when you are doing it just right.
He smiled at me as Emmett clapped me on the back.
"Your worry too much, bro." His grin wide. His head suddenly jerked from my face to somewhere
to the left of us. "Dinner time!" He said flashing his razor sharp teeth.
I smelled it too. Three mountain lions were stalking to our left, just a perfect number although
unusual to find so many together, I took it as a gift.
The Hunt was on and I allowed my mind to stray to the mountain lions, tomorrow night would be
easier if I was well feed. And well fed I was.
Chapter 3 – Big Day
It was a long night. Although I had plenty of fun with my brothers, Emmett always made a game of

11. hunting, I had my fill of grizzly bears and mountain lions and deer, oh my! I had more than I
should have, but I figured better to over-do than to under-do considering what Bella expected of
me after our wedding.
There wasn't much for me to do once I had my fill to eat. I wandered around my house for a while
taking in some of the preparations that had already been put in place. I looked for something to
do, so I found Alice hanging some lights in the trees and decided to give her a hand, keep myself
semi-busy.
I went over all our luggage, to make sure nothing had been forgotten. Even though Bella hates
surprises I begged her to allow me this one little thing, and allow me to surprise her with our
honeymoon destination. I knew this was difficult for her, but Alice was very happy because she
got to pack and shop for everything for Bella. Shopping was Alice's favorite thing to do so Bella
agreed only to make Alice happy, on the plus side she now had a whole new wardrobe without
having to do any of the work.
It was fairly early in the morning when got shooed away by Alice who said I needed to leave
because she was going to pick up Bella.
"But I want to see her," I whined. An entire evening away from her was an awful thing, that would,
thankfully, never have to happen again.
"Nope, remember the human tradition. Can't see the bride before the wedding." Alice said as she
recited the periodic tables and then all the zip codes in the continental United States (she must be
bored at night, I thought). I knew she was trying anything to keep her thoughts away from Bella's
dress.
"Where am I supposed to go?" Perfect timing as usual, my brothers and Carlisle swept into the
room.
"Come, Edward. I know it isn't the most exciting place to be before your wedding, but there are
patients I need to check on at the hospital." Carlisle turned and headed to the door. I knew I had
no choice so I followed. Spending time with my father wouldn't be so bad anyway.
When we were in the car and on our way I heard him ask wordlessly; How are you doing, son?
"I'm wonderful, well with the wedding part anyway."
And, is there another part that you are not to wonderful with? He asked in my head again.
"Well, you know Bella wants to experience human things before she becomes one of us, there is
one thing she wants to experience about all others. I would prefer until after I changed her to
experience it, but she insists that we make love tonight when we reach out honeymoon. I know
we have discussed the ramifications of this long ago, but I can't seem to delay it any longer. I'm
afraid I'll loose control and I'll hurt her."
Well, Edward. I must say how proud I am at your resolve, you lasted a lot longer than anyone
would have ever dreamt possible. He thought for a moment, formulating his next thoughts, which
at the moment jumbled in my head. Do you remember when James had bitten her and you
needed to suck the wound of all it's venom?
"How could I ever forget?" The memory was still awful, still haunted me, seeing my Bella laying
broken, screaming in pain and begging for me.
Well you found the fill to stop, to make Bella better. I know you will find the will to keep her safe
and be careful with her, while still...enjoying yourself.

12. "What if I do loose control and I do hurt her, or worse...?" The words were heavy on me as I said
them, my greatest fear.
You have medical training, Edward. If she is injured you will know enough to help her and keep
her comfortable until you can get her to a hospital. It she is more than injured, then you will call
me immediately and we will go from there. But, Edward, listen to me now. You will not kill her;
your love for her is too strong.
I knew he was right and there was nothing more to say. I thought it over until I felt Carlisle
slapping me on the shoulder.
Cheer up! You're getting married today! You look like someone died. This is a happy, a joyous
day, Edward!
He was right, of course. My wedding day. Bella was going to be my wife in just a few short hours,
although the minutes seemed to be passing at a snails pace.
I got ready in Carlisle's office at the hospital while he checked on patients. It was all I could do to
stay there instead of going to the door and starting to run home. This waiting was surely going to
kill me.
I carefully, so as not to wrinkle pants, sat down in Carlisle's chair. I looked across the desk at my
suit jacket. All I wanted to do was pull it on and go make Bella my wife.
I wondered briefly if my linen suit and crisp, high white collared shirt, with my taupe colored ascot
would match what Bella was wearing. I did look very old fashioned, almost like someone out of
Anne of Green Gables. Hopefully Bella would approve. Alice had obviously though my attire met
the standard as she didn't make me change it.
Just when I was getting my antsiest I heard Carlisle's thoughts, he knew I could hear him; Alright,
son. Let's get going. I heard him think as he strode through the door. I don't know where or when,
but he had found the time and he had already changed into his dark suit.
We waited a couple of miles from the house as we were instructed by Alice who had the
obsession to keep people's thoughts of Bella away from me. She didn't want to spoil the surprise
for me of seeing her coming to me, or for her to see my face the first time I saw her coming down
the aisle.
We waited in silence and finally got Alice's phone call. "Okay, the minister is ready and Bella is
getting anxious. It's time, whenever you're ready."
"GO!" I growled at Carlisle who was driver's seat. Hearing that Bella was anxious was all the
motivation I needed. Actually, I didn't need any motivation. The only reason we weren't married
right now was because Bella wanted to do this right. Carlisle wasted no time and put the
accelerator to the floor. We were in the driveway in two minutes, tops.
I walked quickly though the garage door (I didn't want to take the risk and been seen in all my
diamond shimmering glory), grudgingly I slowed to a human pace to go and stand by the minister,
who happened to be the father of Bella's friend, Angela. I nodded and smiled at him, then turned
to look at our guests.
Rosalie was playing Pachelbel's Canon. I knew it wouldn't be long now and I glanced over and
saw Jasper, knowing it must be difficult for him with all the humans in the room and it must have
been filled to the brim with emotions. I hope he was able to work a little of his magic to calm Bella.
She must be a wreak, I thought. She didn't like to be the center of attention and she certainly

13. didn't adore the idea of marriage.
I looked beside me to see my father smiling; I followed his gaze and saw my mother. She was
smiling as well, but I knew if it had been possible, she would have been crying. She was so happy
that I had finally found someone to spend the rest of my life with and it helped that she adored
Bella.
The traditional wedding march started and I could hear Charlie; One foot in front of the other, not
too fast. Not too fast, one foot in front of the other. He thought his mantra over and over again. I
knew that they were on the stairs and Charlie was holding Bella tightly so she wouldn't fall.
I waited as she got nearer so that I would be able to see her. Everyone had done a wonderful job
of keeping what she looked like from me.
And then I saw her. She was beautiful, not more than beautiful. She was exquisite, although that
still didn't seem a strong enough word. Bella's hair was up, braided intricately, a long veil flowed
behind her. I didn't need to worry about my attire one bit, we coordinated perfectly. She wore a
long, white satin and lace dress, circa 1918 with a slight modern twist, Alice's influence no doubt.
She looked radiant. I smiled in the knowledge that she had chosen me and in a few short
moments she would be all mine, for forever.
She looked at me and looked like she wanted to drop her bouquet, hike up her dress, kick off her
shoes and run to me, if not for Charlie holding her arm tightly, she probably would have.
The time seemed incredibly slow and I held my hand for her as they reached me. Charlie held her
hand a moment, almost reluctant to let go, but then placed it in mine. I touched the warm miracle
that was her hand and I was home.
We decided to keep our vows short and simple; nervous as Bella was it was best to limit the
amount she had to say. We did however, make one revision and asked the minister to switch out
the traditional "til death do us part" for the much more appropriate "as long as we both shall live",
which made much more sense since, after I changed her, we would both live forever.
I was over the moon and it looked like Bella was doing well, not as horrified as I would have
guessed she would been at the gravity of the words.
And then she started to cry, but they weren't tears of fear or sadness, they were tears of joy.
"I do," She chocked through the words I wanted to hear for so long.
"I do," I vowed triumphantly. She was finally mine and I was hers.
The minister declared up husband and wife. I reached to her face, cradling it gently as if she were
the most delicate of flowers. I knew that if I had been able, tears would have flooded my eyes as I
stared in my beautiful new wife dark chocolate brown ones.
I tilted my head slowly down to Bella for our first kiss as husband and wife. I tried to kiss her
softly, tenderly, but Bella, being Bella, stretched on her tip toes and threw her arms along with her
bouquet, around my neck. She kissed me so passionately I hated to end it, but there were still
people in the room. She clung to me and I had to restrain her face and pull back. I smiled at her,
amused. The joy I felt was mimicked upon Bella's face.
Our guests erupted into a long, loud applause and Bella's mother's arms soon enveloped her as
she was unwillingly torn from me. And then she was passed along to everyone and received
hugs, while I held her hand and got the congratulatory claps on the back. And then it finally hit
me, we were married.

14. Chapter 4 – Gesture
Thanks to Alice and her wonderful planning skills our ceremony ended as the sun set and it was a
spectacular August evening, The tress glimmered with lights and the tent stood just a short
distance from the house.
I took Bella from the crowd and outside, desperate to have just a moment with my incredible new
wife. I didn't get the chance to savor my moment long, one of the mutts interrupted us.
"Congrats guys," Seth said. I had fought along side him only weeks ago. He was accompanied by
his mother and Billy Black, the father of my least favorite mutt, Jacob Black. These people were
the ones I least looked forward to seeing, with the exception of Seth who was a good kid. I knew
they didn't like me much and quite honestly the feeling was more than mutual. But today, at least,
Billy Black didn't seem to hate me so much. I knew his thoughts and he was grateful, happy even.
He knew of my surprise for Bella and he only wished my plans worked out, well, for this wedding
present anyway. I frowned when I heard his thought. Stealing her life, should be ashamed of
himself.
"It's good to see things work out for you, man." Seth said to me. "I'm happy for you."
"Thank you, Seth. That means a lot to me." I said hugging him. I turned to Billy and Sue, "Thank
you, as well. For letting Seth come. For supporting Bella today." I said graciously.
"You're welcome." Billy said perhaps not friendly but certainly optimistically.
A line was growing so they gave us hugs again and stepped a side.
Bella's friend's Angela and Ben were next in line to congratulate us. I was pleased to see them;
Angela had always been such a good friend to Bella, much more than Jessica and Mike who
were next along with Jessica's parents.
I was pleased to see my cousins The Denalis were sauntering up to us. I felt Bella tense beside
me and realized she must have guessed which one of them was Tanya. She had always been a
little jealous of Tanya who always had somewhat of a thing for me if only because I was the one
she couldn't have, the only one who had ever refused her. I was the conquest she could never
conquer. Tanya came to me and we embraced. She held me a little longer than was necessary
and I saw Bella's brow furrow slightly.
"Ah, Edward," Tanya said. "I've missed you." She said still held me; I pulled back and placed my
hand on her shoulder.
"It's been too long, Tanya. You look well."
"So do you."
"Let me introduce you to my wife," Oh, how I loved the sound of that! I wanted to shout it from the
rooftops. "This is my Bella."
"Welcome to the family, Bella." Tanya smiled taking Bella's hands in hers. "We consider ourselves
Carlisle's extended family and I am sorry about the, err, recent incident when we did not behave
as such. We should have met sooner. Can you forgive us?
"Of course," Bella said nervously. I knew that Tanya could be very intimidating. "It's nice to meet

15. you."
I introduced her to Kate, Carmen and Elezar who call stood slightly behind Tanya, waiting their
turn. They all welcomed her graciously and moved along as to allow the other to have their turns
with us. "We'll get to know each other later. We'll have eons of time for that!" Tanya promised with
a laugh.
We observed all the human traditions of photographs and cake cutting and Bella was even
surprised when we took turns feeding cake to each other, that I managed to eat my piece with no
trouble. I guess, she had forgotten that piece of pizza I had eaten when we first met. Bella threw
the bouquet and Angela caught it with a panicked Ben looking on. Great, now I'm going to have to
hear about this from everyone for a very long time! He grumped inside my head.
Then it was time for my favorite part; the Garter toss. I placed Bella on a chair and whispered for
her to behave herself. I walked over to Emmett, handed him my jacket and rolled up my sleeves
like I was preparing to go fishing. As the music started "Fever", the more modern Michael Buble
version, I sauntered over to Bella slowly, seductively. She started to blush almost instantly. I heard
Charlie inside my head; Can't watch this. Still my daughter and then he entered the house. I
couldn't contain a smirk as I looked directly into her eyes. As I got nearer to her, her heart raced
and her breaths were quick and shallow.
I bent before her to kneel on the ground and I took her hands in mine. I kissed them both and
placed them in her lap. Slowly, carefully I raised her skirt slightly and disappeared beneath it. I
placed one hand on the ground and the other on her ankle. Slowly, but not too slowly, (I had to
continuously remind myself that this was not our honeymoon and there were guests watching us)
I kissed up her leg until I found her garter. I didn't want to stop my kisses but I knew Bella would
be fighting for control and she must be blushing furiously by now. I heard Emmett and Jasper
hooting and hollering somewhere behind me.
I grabbed the garter very carefully with my teeth and slid it down her leg to her ankle. I retrieved it
with my hand and resurfaced. I saw Bella's embarrassment and longing reflected in her eyes. I
kissed her on her cheek, winked and then shot it direction at Mike Newton.
Then it was time for our first dance. I had thought long and hard about what our first dance should
be and it seemed most fitting to choose the song we had first danced to when we went to the
prom the year we met, "Flightless Bird." It was out first dance as a couple and now it was our first
dance as husband and wife.
I pulled Bella to me, holding her close as we glided under the lights and moonless sky. I
concentrated on only her as the flash bulbs went off around us, taking mementos of this day for
Bella. We knew that her human memory would fade slightly after I changed her. I wanted to make
sure she would remember this moment for the rest of eternity.
"Enjoying the party, Mrs. Cullen?" I whispered as I nuzzled her ear.
She laughed. "That will take come getting used to."
"We have a while," I reminded her and I leaned in to kiss her while I twirled her around the dance
floor.
The music changed to "Butterfly Kisses" and Charlie tapped me on the shoulder. It was time for
the father – daughter dance. I kissed Bella again and went to take my mother's hand to dance
with her.
She played with a strand of my hair that was out of place and put her hand on my check, smiling
and me. "Oh, Edward. That was beautiful. I am so happy you have finally found someone and we

16. couldn't be happy that it happens to be Bella. I really do love her like she was my own."
"Thank you, Esme. I know she loves you just the same. I know this has been difficult on all of you.
I do appreciate all your love and patience with me, with us."
She rested her head on my shoulder. After that song Bella was passed to someone else and
Carlisle came to steal Esme from me, so I found Alice and whirled her into my arms.
"Alice you did a wonderful job. Everything is perfect and Bella seems like she is having a great
time. Thank you for this, and for doing it all with such a short time limit."
"Oh, Edward, "She smiled."You're silly! I didn't have limited time. I've been planning this from the
moment I saw you with her, true I did get side tracked with the unpleasantness of last year but as
soon as we got you back from Italy I knew it was sonly a matter of time. It wasn't easy to keep
that from you though." I kissed her on the cheek and saw Bella get passed to Mike Newton.
So beautiful, he totally doesn't deserve her. Man, if she was mine I would totally rock her world.
I'd heard enough of Mike, so I walked over to cut in and reclaim my wife.
"Still not that fond of Mike, eh?" She joked as I whirled her as far away from him as I could
manage.
"Not when I have to listen to his thoughts. He's lucky I didn't kick him out. Or worse."
"Yeah, right." She said rolling her eyes.
"Have you had a chance to look at yourself?"
"Umm, no I guess not. Why?"
"Then I suppose you don't realize how utterly, heartbreakingly beautiful you are tonight. I'm not
surprised Mike's having difficulty with improper thoughts about a married woman. I am
disappointed that Alice didn't make sure you were forced to look in a mirror." She still took my
breath away when I glanced at her.
"You are very biased, you know."
I sighed and saw the glass of the window; I spun her so she could see herself. I pointed. "Biased,
am I?" I watch as her eyebrows rose appraising herself, she looked surprised. Then I heard a
familiar voice that I had been expecting, but not wanting, to hear.
I'm here bloodsucker. Let's get this show on the road.
I stiffened at the sound of his voice. "Oh!" I said, now it was my brow that had furrowed. When I
noticed Bella eyeing me I smoothed my expression.
"What is it?" She asked.
"A surprise wedding gift." I had asked Seth to ask Jacob, while in wolf form of course as Jacob
had run off after Bella had picked me, to please come and see Bella. I knew she would appreciate
seeing him.
"Huh?"
I didn't answer. I pulled her into my arms and continued our dancing. I started spinning her away
from the lights to the edge of the dance floor and toward the forest.

17. "Thanks you," I said into the blackness. "This was very...kind of you."
Whatever bloodsucker, I'm here for her, not you. Jacob thought but said instead "Kind is my
middle name. Can I cut it?
"Jacob!" Bella choked. "Jacob!" I understood her excitement and although I knew she was my
wife, that she had chosen me, I still felt a twinge of jealousy in the pit of my stomach.
"Hey there Bells."
Bella stumbled into the darkness and I followed keeping my hand on her elbow until Jacob had
her and enveloped her into a close, tight hug. There was that jealousy thing again.
"Rosalie will never forgive me if she doesn't get her official turn on the dance floor." I murmured
trying to keep the hurt from my voice. See ya bloodsucker. Jacob thought as I turned and walked
away. I was going to give them their space but I would not go far and I would be monitoring their
conversation.
I did see Rosalie and beckoned her to me. She glided to me in her scintillating way.
"Congratulations, Edward, it really is about time you found someone. Too bad it's human." She
joked, flipping her hair as she spoke.
"Thank you Rose. I never knew this kind of happiness existed. I see what you and Emmett have
now.
She smiled and leaned her head against my shoulder. "I don't mean to be a bitch, Edward. I know
we have never been close, but I do love you and I'm glad you are finally happy. And I guess Bella
isn't that bad. I mean you could have fallen for that Jessica girl."
I laughed and kissed her forehead. "I love you too, Rose." We were silent as we twirled. I listened
to Jacob and Bella's conversation of how he was doing. I must admit I hated the idea of asking
the mutt for any favors, but he had kept her safe when I wasn't able, so I did need to give him
credit for that, if nothing else."
My mind strayed to how beautiful Bella looked tonight. I knew that even had I not made out deal
to make love to her, my resolve would have been broken. Not only was I filled with love and
adoration for her, she looked unbelievable tonight. She was always beautiful but this was more.
I imagined when we were finally alone together, when the wedding was over and done and we
were on our honeymoon. I imagined touching her warm skin, feeling her soft lips on my hard
ones, hearing her breathe as I caressed her.
Then I was suddenly ripped from my reverie.
"Ow, Jake! Let go!" Bella had cried. He was shaking her, he was beyond angry. His vile, angry
thought flooded my mind. He was imagining me on top of Bella and she was writhing in pain
beneath me, begging me to stop while I continued on with my assault.
I threw Rose aside and ran as fast as I could without arousing suspicions.
"Bella! Have you lost your mind? You can't be that stupid! Tell me you're joking." He was
screaming at her, if the music hadn't been so loud everyone would probably have heard.
"Jake – stop!" Seth shouted.

18. "Take your hands off her!" I commanded.
Behind Jacob there were snarls. He had brought backup of course. I should have brought my
brothers. I never should have allowed this in the first place.
"Jake, bro, back away." Seth urged. "You're loosing it." But Jacob didn't move, he was just staring
at Bella, deep into her eyes, silently pleading with her. "You'll hurt her. Let go."
"Now!" I snarled, ready to pounce if he didn't release her. My resolve was weakening by the
second and I hoped that Seth would be able to talk him down.
Jacob finally let her go and I grabbed her and whisked her a few feet away, standing protectively
in front of her. I knew the situation was volatile and I wanted to stand, to fight if necessary but I
had to think of Bella. I knew I would need to get her to safety, but what if they followed? That
would break up the party pretty quick.
"C'mon Jake. Let's go." Seth urged again.
Jacob was looking at me, shaking with fury. "I'll kill you! I'll kill you myself. I'll do it now!" And he
was shaking more now and a big black wolf, Sam, was growling.
"Seth, get out of the way." I hissed knowing that if Jacob phased it would be very bad for him.
Seth stayed firm.
You filthy bloodsucker. You will hurt her. I swear, if you hurt her I will kill you. And then he started
thinking of everything he could do to inflict pain on me.
"Don't do it, Jake. Walk away. C'mon." The other wolves joined Seth now in pushing Jacob back.
Then they disappeared into to black once more.
"I'm sorry," Bella whispered after the last wolf. He stared at me and thought; you hurt her and you
know we will be back for you. Don't forget that. I nodded once knowing all too well that they
would, indeed be back.
"It's alright now, Bella." I soothed. "Alright." I said more to calm myself than to Bella. "Let's get
back." I knew that people were going to wonder where we had gotten to.
"But, Jake –" She worried.
"Sam has him in hand. He's gone."
"Edward, I'm sorry. I was stupid –"
"You did nothing wrong –" I tried to reassure her, but she was worked up.
"I have such a big mouth! Why would I...I shouldn't have let him get to me like that. What was I
thinking?"
"Don't worry." I caressed her face, knowing my cool hand would begin to calm her. "We need to
get back to the reception before someone notices our absence."
"Give me two seconds." She pleaded after a moment. She started to smooth her dress and her
hair. I knew she was panicking inside but all she cared about now was making sure she panicked
no one else.
"My dress?" She looked surprisingly impeccable, considering the force with which the mutt was

19. shaking her.
"You look fine. Not a hair out of place."
She took some deep breaths and closed her eyes, steadying herself for our return. "Okay. Let's
go."
I hugged her close to me, never wanting to let her go. I spun her back to the dance floor. I noticed
my brothers, of course they had known what was happening and they had been waiting to see if I
would need their assistance. I nodded once and they nodded back.
Everything good, brother? Need us to go kick some ass? Emmett though hopefully.
I smiled slightly to let them know it was all good and shook my head once to tell them to leave it
alone.
I looked at my bride. Her face looked slightly tense, but unscathed. "Are you –"
"I'm fine." She promised. "I can't believe I did that. What's wrong with me?"
"Nothing is wrong with you." I kissed her forehead and brushed her cheek lightly with my
fingertips.
"It's over." She said. "Let's not think about it again tonight." Of course I heard her, but the doubts
had already started to creep up on me again. What if his vision of me, the monster, the attacker
would come true? What if Bella begged me to stop and I ignored her for my own pleasure?
"Edward?" Her soft voice brought me back from make waking nightmare.
I closed my eyes and touched my forehead to hers, too afraid to look into her eyes. "Jacob is
right." I whispered. "What am I thinking?"
"He is not." She said. "Jacob is way too prejudiced to see anything clearly." But she didn't know.
She didn't see what he saw, what he showed me.
"Should have let him kill me for even thinking..." I mumbled low enough that I didn't think she
could hear me.
She grabbed my face in her hands. "Stop it." She commanded and she waited for me to look at
her. "You and me. That's the only thing that matters. The only thing you're allowed to think about.
Do you hear me?"
"Yes." I sighed. She was so beautiful, so convincing when she commanded things of me.
"Forget Jacob came. For me. Promise me you'll let this go."
That was a difficult request as it was all my fault that he had come in the first place. I stared into
her beautiful pleading eyes and there was no way I could refuse this.
"I promise."
"Thank you. Edward, I'm not afraid."
"I am." I whispered as I nuzzled into her hair, at least it felt safe in here, surrounded by her scent,
by the beating of her heart.

20. "Don't be." She took a deep breath and pulled slightly away from me so I could see her. She
smiled and she looked radiant. "By the way, I love you."
I smiled a half smile. "That's why we're here."
"You're monopolizing the bride," Emmett said tapping me on the shoulder. "Let me dance with my
little sister. This could be the last chance I get to make her blush." He barked his laugh and I
reluctantly relinquished my hold on her.
After Emmett was finished dancing with her she got passed around to someone else and Emmett
come to stand by me, Jasper followed.
What was that, bro? That was intense with the dogs. Emmett probed.
I whispered so low that no one but them could hear me. "He found out we were planning to have
a real honeymoon. It was awful, his thoughts were so vile. He saw me attacking her. He saw her
beneath me, calling for me to stop and I ignored her."
He isn't Alice. It's his own sick, twisted mind. It isn't the future. Jasper thought.
"What if it is or something very much like it?" I never took my eyes from Bella. She looked like she
was having an easier time forgetting Jacob than I was.
We've been over this, Edward. Your love is too strong, especially to do something like that. Your
love for her is simple too strong.
"I hope you're right." At that moment I strode away from my brothers and walked to my wife. I
came up from behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. She placed her hands on my
arms and leaned into me. I spun her around to face me and her face had pure joy reflected on it.
She smiled and leaned into me again, my arms automatically tightened around her.
"I could get used to this." She cooed.
"Don't tell me you've gotten over your dancing issues?"
"Dancing isn't so bad – with you. But I was thinking more of this –" and she pressed herself even
closer against me. A small, involuntary gasp escaped my lips at our new closeness and her soft
body couldn't get any closer to me. "Of never having to let you go."
"Never," I promised. I leaned in and kissed her intensely, letting her feel all of my joy over having
her as my wife.
"Bella, it's time to go." Alice called. I rolled my eyes as I was still kissing my bride. This was the
sweetest, most tender and incredibly intense kiss we had shared to date.
"Do you want to miss your plane? I'm sure you'll have a lovely honeymoon camped out in the
airport waiting for another flight."
I turned my head slightly just enough to murmur, "Go away, Alice," before I returned my lips back
to Bella's.
"Bella, do you want to wear that dress on the airplane?" She demanded.
Neither of us was paying any attention to her, still making out on the dance floor.
"I'll tell her where you're taking her, Edward. So help me I will." She growled...Okay that got my

21. attention.
"You're awfully small to be so hugely irritating." I griped.
"I didn't pick the perfect going away ensemble to have it wasted." She snapped and took Bella's
hand. "Come with me, Bella."
Bella resisted Alice's tug, but we were ripped apart anyway. I heard people chuckle at Bella's
reluctance. Ahhh Newlyweds, most of them thought.
My father was at my side almost immediately after Alice and Bella reached the stairs.
He put a hand on my shoulder. You will be fine, son. You can do this and everything will be
wonderful. Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Esme were all suddenly at my side, hugging me and
wishing us well.
And then I saw her for the second time descending from that staircase. She looked nothing less
than radiant and glowing. She worse a beautiful deep blue V neck dress and her hair had been
freed of the braids and now cascaded down her back.
I smiled and held out my hand for her as she reached the stairs; she took it but leaned away from
me, searching.
"Dad?" She asked.
"Over here," I murmured. I took her to her father who leaning against a wall.
Can't believe I'm loosing her. He better make her happy. He thought as I brought her to him, I
noticed his eyes were red.
"Oh, Dad!" She threw her arms around him while he patted her on the back.
So beautiful, my little girl is all grown up.
Bella started to tear and Charlie said, "There, now. You don't want to miss your plane."
"I love you forever, Dad. Don't forget that."
"You too Bells. Always have, always will." They kissed each other on the cheek. "Call me."
"Soon." She promised. I knew this was difficult for her. She was saying goodbye to her father, not
knowing if she would ever see him again. Depending on what happened, she may be a vampire
by then and this would be the last time she would ever see him.
"Go on then. Don't want to be late."
Take care of my baby.
I pulled Bella close to me as our guests cleared to make a path for us. We stopped on the
doorstep. "Are you ready for this?" I asked?
"I am."
And then I kissed her passionately. Everyone was applauding and throwing rice on our way to the
Vanquish, my special occasion car and there was no occasion more special than this. I tried to
shield her from the rice; Emmett seemed to be taking great joy at throwing especially hard at me.

22. I saw Bella's face as she watched her parents disappear from view. I squeezed her hand and she
looked at me.
"I love you." I said.
She leaned against my arm. "That's why we're here." She said, turning the tables on me.
I knew we needed to be fast to catch out plane. We'd left later than we should, but I was counting
on the car to get us there with plenty of time to spare. Once we were on the highway I really
opened her up, my foot almost to the floor.
Could life be any sweeter than this? And then we heard a pained, devastated howl from behind
us. I pressed my foot to the floor and the sound faded into the blackness and we were alone in
the moonless night.
Chapter 5 – Isle Esme
"Houston?" Bella said surprised.
"Just a stop along the way," I grinned. I knew she was worried about where I would take her for
our honeymoon. I knew she didn't want to be sentenced to spending our entire honeymoon
indoors because I couldn't go outside, well maybe that's what she was hoping for actually; never
having to leave our room.
Bella slept the whole way from Seattle to Houston and I watched her sleep. This, I knew, I would
never tire of, watching her as dreamed. She looked like an angel and I hated to wake her when
we arrive. I pulled her through the terminal to another gate so we could catch out connecting
flight.
"Rio de Janeiro?"
"Another stop," I promised.
When we were on the plane again Bella had fallen right back asleep. The flight was long and I
had all that time to worry about what would happen in the coming hours. Maybe she would be so
tired from traveling so long that I could prolong it, put it off, just a little longer. I gave up on that
idea, knowing that Bella had slept so long and so soundly there was no way that would happen.
I imagined touching her face, staring into her eyes. I imagined enveloping her into my arms and
holding her as my lips met hers. I imagined touching her skin gently with my fingertips, my lips
gliding from her mouth to brush lightly on her cheekbone and down to the nape of her neck. And
then I imagined biting her. No, damn it! That wasn't going to happen. And of course it wouldn't, I
knew I would never let it, and could never do it.
Bella woke and took me from my thoughts. As I expected, she was wide awake and unusually
alert from just having slept for such a long period. There goes my hope of her being too tired, I
thought.
I gathered our luggage and hailed a taxi. We drove, hand in hand in the back seat through Rio. I
pointed out landmarks as we went. I knew Bella was confused as to where we were going. I had
said that Rio was only another stop. It became clearer to her as we arrived at a dock that we
were, indeed, not yet done with our traveling.

23. I lead her down the dock with the luggage in tow and jumped in to put the bags down. I bent down
to help Bella to climb into the boat.
I sat Bella in one of the luxurious leather seats as I prepared the boat for our departure. I
continuously looked up to make sure she hadn't gone and fallen into the water or something. I
would be just like Bella to find an accident which sitting absolutely still.
I couldn't help but notice how beautiful she looked in the moonlight. It looked like she was
glowing, emanating light from within her. Was it possible that she could be even more beautiful
that she was just a few days ago?
I knew Bella was full of nervous anticipation at where we were headed and I knew she would be
reviewing geography in her head, trying to figure it out and I knew she would never guess, she
didn't even know this place existed.
I stood in front of the wheel, feeling the wind in my hair, knowing that my life was perfect. I was
finally alone with my Bella, my wife.
"Are we going much further?" I knew she was hoping that this boat was not the destination itself,
as comfortable as it was it would not do to be cooped up here for a few weeks.
"About another half hour." I glanced at her and grinned. I saw she was clutching the seat tightly. I
always forgot that she didn't like speed like I did; guiltily I hoped that it would be different after I
changed her.
"Bella, look there." I called and pointed strait ahead.
I didn't know if her human eyes could see the island that had appeared in front of us. I could see
the palm trees lightly swaying in the breeze, the moon illuminating the silvery sand and a small
view of a large estate thorough the palms.
"Where are we?"
"This is Isle Esme." I said turning to smile at her.
I maneuvered the boat to the dock and cut the engine. What a still and quiet night. The only
sounds were the water lapping gently at the boat and the sound of Bella's heartbeat.
"Isle Esme?
"A gift from Carlisle – Esme offered to let us borrow it." I had hoped that Bella would like it, and
that maybe she would like it so much so would let me buy something like this for her one day. It
was quiet and private. No one could bother us here and we didn't need to hide. We could do
whatever we wanted her, whenever we wanted and never be disturbed on the expansive island.
I took our luggage to the dock and returned for Bella. I knew she expected me to take her hand,
but I smiled at her as I scooped her up into my arms, holding her firmly to me.
"Aren't you supposed to wait for the threshold?" She whispered a little breathless.
I grinned again. "I'm nothing if not thorough." I said as I walked into the darkness towards the
house. I felt Bella's heart start to accelerate and I watched her face wondering what was
frightening her. Could she be having second thoughts about making love tonight? I decided not to
say anything just then; I would wait to see what would happen.
I set the suitcase down to unlock the door and waited. I wanted her to look at me, to know what I

24. loved her; she had nothing to fear, especially if she wanted to back out of our deal. When she did
finally look at me I carried her over the threshold and through the whole house, flipping on as
many lights as I could find. I thought that maybe if it was bright in here she could be somehow
less scared.
I stopped at the last room, afraid to take her through the door. I steadied myself and walked
through the door, flipping on the very last light. It was our bedroom. Large and airy, it had a long
glass window and all white walls, of course. The moonlight illuminated the large king sized
canopy bed, which was draped with soft looking mosquito netting.
I put Bella on her feet. "I'll...go get the luggage." I walked slowly, for me, down the stairs, thinking
about what the evening may, or may not, hold for us. I reached the bags and grabbed them. I
checked the thermostat on my way up the stair, yup twenty-five degrees, a little warm I knew, but
I was trying to take every precaution I could think of.
Returning upstairs, I found Bella near the bed. I walked to her and caressed the back of her warm
neck with my cool fingers. "It's a little hot here." I said apologetically, maybe turning on the air
conditioning would be a good idea, just for a bit. "I thought...that would be best."
"Thorough," She murmured, looking around her surroundings. I chuckled and realized that it
sounded strained and a little nervous.
"I tried to think of everything that would make this...easier." I confessed. She swallowed loudly
from in front of me. Was this just the normal nerves or was she rally rethinking our deal? I decided
that I would not back out, but if she told me 'no' or stopped me, I would be fine with that too.
"I was wondering if," I started, trying to ease the situation," if...if maybe you would like to take a
midnight swim with me?" I took a deep breath to calm myself. It was a swim, nothing more than
that, one step at a time. "The water will be very warm. This is the kind of beach you approve of."
"Sounds nice." She said, he voice breaking slightly.
"I'm sure you would like a human minute, or two...It was a long journey" She nodded and I
brushed my lips against her throat, just below her ear. I chuckled at her as she shivered slightly, I
doubt she even noticed, that her body had emanated. "Don't be too long Mrs. Cullen." She
jumped at being called her new name. I brushed my lips to her through again. "I'll meet you in the
water."
I strode past her to the doors that led from our bedroom to the beach. I removed my shirt and let it
fall to the floor just before I reached the doors. I didn't look back as I walked out into the warm,
soft sand. The air was fresh and clear ad I made my way to the waters edge, feeling all the
anticipation that had been building in me.
Although I knew Bella was nervous I knew that it was not second thoughts she was having. It was
normal for human girls to be nervous about their first time being intimate; apparently it was for
teenage vampire males as well.
I saw a tree nearby the water, a perfect spot for my remaining clothes. As I had already divested
myself of my shirt, I removed my shoes and socks and placed them neatly at the base of the
palm. I undid the zipper on my pants and slid them down, folding them and hanging them on the
tree. As I reached for my boxers, a realization hit me. This would be the first time that I would see
Bella naked and the first time she would see me, all of me. I got a sudden thrill and twinge of
nerves at the same time. Well, this was it, I thought as I removed my last stitch of clothing, bare to
the night.
My feet touched the water and it felt soothing. I decided to dive right it, hoping it might calm my

25. nerves. It was almost time to make good on my promise to her. I needed to be strong, she would
need me to reassure her, to calm her, it was hard to take on that role if i was not calm myself.
I swam near the ocean floor for a time, checking every now and then to see if Bella had made her
way to the beach.
After a time I found my way to waist deep water, knowing Bella wouldn't be long now. I stood with
my back to the house, to give her some privacy, if she wanted it. I placed my palms on top of the
water, feeling it dance across them. Then, I heard her heart beat and I knew she was on the
beach. I wanted to turn around, to drink in her beautiful figure, but I restrained myself, knowing
there would be plenty of time for that. I would wait until she came to me.
"Beautiful," I heard her say of the moon.
"It's all right," I said as I turned to her. She looked incredible in the moonlight. She stood before
me; all I could see was her bare midriff, since her arms were draped across her to hide her
breasts modestly. It gave me a thrill of excitement to know that we were both without clothes and
this close to each other.
I held out a hand for her, waiting for her to unwrap one arm from her chest so I could intertwine
our fingers together. She carefully removed one arm from her chest and put her hand in mine and
we held each others hand under the water. I kept my eyes locked with hers so she could feel
more comfortable, to know that I wasn't there to ogle just her body. "But, I wouldn't use the word,
beautiful. Not with you standing here in comparison."
She smiled and finally removed the one arm that had been covering herself. She was completely
uncovered now and I tried not to stare at her glorious body. She placed her free hand on my
chest where my heard used to beat. I shuttered at her warm touch and her magnificence.
"I promised we would try," I whispered, tense knowing the time was very close. "If...if I do
something wrong, if I hurt you, you must tell me at once."
"Don't be afraid," She murmured looking into my eyes and I could tell it was not fear I detected in
her heartbeat anymore. It was excited, it was longing and I knew that this was going to happen,
tonight, her second thoughts had disappeared. "We belong together."
I wrapped my arms around her holding her to me. My body coursed with electricity, something I'd
felt in biology class while we watched that movie, so long ago.
"Forever," I agreed and that was the last of our conversations for that evening.
I decided right there and then my internal doubts were over, Bella wanted me and I wanted her. I
was her husband and she was my wife and we loved each other and that was all that mattered
I pulled her close to me and looked deep into her chocolate brown eyes, she looked happy and
she looked ready. I put my hand on her chest to feel her heart beating. I closed my eyes for a
moment wanting to savor the feel of her heart under my hand. I bent my face to her slowly and
gently touched my lips to hers. She moved herself closer into me and I gasped at the feeling of
her breasts pressed so hard into me. The fire started to burn hotter then.
"Bella," I moaned and she threw her arms around my neck as I grabbed around her waist. My
hand found its way to her face. I brushed her cheek with my fingers. She shivered slightly, but I
knew she wasn't cold. My hand traveled to her hair and stroked the long stands. My lips found
hers and then her cheek and then her ear. I nibbled ever so gently, so as not to break the skin.
My lips made their way down her neck, leaving a trail of kisses, to her collar bone. I kissed and
caressed and she moaned, wrapping both her hands in my hair.

26. I could feel my urgency growing for her, burning from within me. Bella threw her head back in
delight as I hoisted her up with her legs on either side of my hips. She pushed herself closer to
lick and suck my earlobe. It drove me wild. Who knew this kind of pleasure existed?
I pulled back from her slightly to look into her eyes. "Are you ready for take this inside, Mrs.
Cullen?" I asked. She stared directly into my eyes and I could see all the urgency that I felt for her
reflected back at me.
We kissed all the way back to our room, the fire seemed to grow stronger with every step I took. I
knew that there was giant bed awaiting us on the other side of those doors.
I held Bella on her small round buttocks with one hand while opening the door with the other. I
don't even know if she noticed that we were inside until I slowly laid her on the soft, white
bedcovers. I stood for a moment to look at her, to finally allow myself to drink her body in.
She looked so innocent just laying there, waiting for me to join her. She was magnificent. The
moonlight danced across her sweet face, illuminating her wonderfully luscious breasts with their
perfect nipples, her flat stomach and her long legs, she was not a tall girl but as she lay her like
this, they seemed to go on for miles. She rolled onto her elbow to look at me.
"Edward? Is there something wrong?"
"No, my love, nothing is wrong. I just wanted to look at you." I said climbing slowly onto the bed
next to her. "You're beautiful, truly incredible. I don't know how I got so lucky."
I didn't wait for a reply, she was blushing and I had to kiss her then, it was like her body was
calling to me and I could resist no longer.
I started at her lips and trailed down her neck until I found those beautiful breasts of hers. I
grabbed one in my hand and kneaded it slowly while I guided her other one into my mouth and
started to roll her nipple around with my tongue, slowly licking and sucking. She groaned and I
stiffened, afraid I had hurt her. I looked at her face but it was not a face of pain, but of pure
pleasure. Maybe pleasing her would not be so difficult after all, I thought. She reached down and
put her hand in my hair, the only part of me that she could easily reach. With one hand still on her
breast, I continued my trail of kisses downward.
Pausing on her perfect stomach my tongue traced her belly button and she squirmed. I looked
down and saw her legs were pressed together. I slowly reached my free hand down allowing my
fingertips to trail down her side, contouring the shape of her breasts, down her waist and over her
hips and between her legs, when she felt me there she parted them a little too willingly, someone
was getting impatient, I thought.
I placed myself between her open legs, and knelt above her. She opened her eyes and looked at
me, she was simply angelic. I bent, balancing my hands on either side of her head to kiss her lips.
She caught my face in both her hands and kissed me more passionately than she ever had. I
pulled away and she looked puzzled.
"Not yet, my love, I haven't finished playing yet." I said as I touched her face, letting my hands
trail down her check, her neck, between her beautiful breasts and down her stomach. As my
hands reached her waist I shimmed down to position myself and placed my hands on either side
of her hips. From her belly button my lips traveled down and found first her left thigh, then her
right, licking and softly sucking as I went.
Then, the smell nearly drove me from my mind. Her sweet scent was so strong and lovely, I knew
I had to have it. My lips found her core. I stuck out my tongue, gently touching it to her and she

27. moaned, her back arching. I did it again and again in more rapid succession, digging my fingers
into her hips, holding her to me.
I could hear her heart speeding up, it was so fast, I didn't know how it could be beating so fast,
the sound was seductive, enticing. I could feel her heat and her urgency flowing through me as
her moans became louder and more prolonged.
Finally she bucked her hips against me and called my name. I slowed my tongue and when her
panting and heat beat returned to normal I reluctantly left my new favorite spot and returned to
Bella's face, figuring she might like a kiss and some time to come down from her high. Oh how
wrong I was.
I looked down at her blushed body and marveled that she didn't just blush on her face, but all
over her body as well. I brought my face to hers and she grabbed it, pulling me to her. She kissed
me so deeply I was taken by surprise. I felt myself go stiff as she trailed one hand from my face
down to my chest, and downward, groping, trying to put me inside her. I pulled away slightly,
shocked. She looked at me with her big brown eyes, pleading.
"Please, Edward. I'm ready, I need you."
And that was all I needed to hear. Slowly I lowered myself to her. I paused at her opening, not
sure of my speed, she looked at me obligingly and raised her hips to meet me. Slowly I entered
her only slightly and the fire inside me was heaven.
I heard Bella gasp and I froze. Had I already hurt her? My mind was racing and I looked at her
face. "Bella?" I asked urgently. "Have I hurt –".
"No, no, Edward. It's fine. It's just, the first time. We will need to go slow, I think." I kissed her lips,
but didn't move, didn't breathe. "It's okay, Edward, don't stop." With that I inched into her again
and I could tell she was trying not to cry out, but I could also tell she wanted me to continue. I
continued to enter her slowly, inch by inch. I could smell it now, there was a little blood, but it
wasn't bad. The blood didn't even phase me; it was the scent of her urgency that was affecting
me now.
I was fully inside her when she finally spoke. "I think we're fine now, Edward, it hardly even hurts.
Really." She put her hand encouragingly on my face and kissed my nose.
I began to thrust in and out of her. The fire was beginning to grow within me now. I was almost
fully engulfed when I heard Bella's moan of pleasure from beneath me and I nearly lost control. I
felt the strongest urge to bite something, I couldn't control it. I collapsed on top of her, still
thrusting and bit the first thing I could find. As my teeth sunk into, whatever it was, a pillow
possibly, I heard Bella moan louder and growl my name seductively and that sent me over the
edge and we both lay there, shaking and panting, together.
I remember kissing Bella and her murmuring it was wonderful and she loved me. She fell asleep,
exhausted from our night together. But everything about that is very blurry.
It was about two in the morning when I noticed the first bruise start to appear on her skin. I wasn't
worried. She seemed fine, happy. It wasn't until I noticed the third, fourth and fifth bruise that I
really started to get concerned.
I knew this was a bad idea. I wanted to wake her, to see how badly I had hurt her. But, what if her
slumber was just an act? A ruse before she could run away from me screaming. She sounded
asleep and she looked asleep, but who knew. Maybe she was too terrified of me and pretended.
Would she hate me in the morning?

28. I sat there all night watching more and more bruises appear on her beautiful skin. I had done this
to her. I was the monster that I so feared. I vowed that is by some miracle she woke up and didn't
run from me I would never inflict this on her again. I only hoped I didn't break anything.
I looked for the source of what I had bitten, and I was right. It was two pillows and now not only
was Bella covered in bruises but we were both covered in down feathers.
As Bella slept I tried to pull feathers from her hair, but every time I touched her to remove one she
would stir. I didn't want to wake her if she really was asleep. I wanted to prolong the inevitable for
as long as possible. I loved her so much; I dreaded when she would wake up and discover what I
had done.
It was late morning before Bella finally awoke. I knew she had awoken, but she didn't open her
eyes. I was afraid my nightmare was about to come true.
I gently trailed my fingers up and down her spine, wondering when the screaming would begin.
Her arms suddenly tightened around my neck and I heard her giggle.
"What's funny?" I murmured, still trailing my fingers on her back. I felt her blush against my chest
and then I heard her stomach growl. Great now I'd hurt her and I was starving her. What the hell
kind of husband was I?
"You can't escape being human for very long." She giggled again but I said nothing, did nothing. I
just waited, enjoying her company before she realized what kind of monster I really was.
"Edward," She choked, suddenly sullen. "What is it? What's wrong?"
"You have to ask?" Could she really not feel what I'd done to her? The bruises must be painful.
What if I had broken a bone, she would surely feel that. I saw lines of worry appear on her
forehead and I soothed them with my finger.
"What are you thinking?" I asked afraid of what her answer might be.
"You're upset. I don't understand. Did I...?" her voice caught.
"How badly are you hurt, Bella? The truth – don't try to downplay it."
"Hurt?" she asked, seemingly confused. I felt her stretch all of her muscles and flex, surveying
her own damage.
Her voice was angry when she spoke again. "Why would you jump to that conclusion? I've never
been better than I am now."
I closed my eyes and took a calming breath. "Stop that."
"Stop what?"
"Stop acting like I'm not a monster for having agreed to this."
"Edward!" She cried and I heard tears welling up in her. "Don't ever say that!"
I kept my eyes closed; I didn't want to see the look on her face when she finally saw what I had
done to her. "Look at yourself Bella. Then tell me I'm not a monster." There was a moment and
then she gasped. This was it; this is the moment she would leave me.
"Why am I covered in feathers?" Confusion gripping her voice, but so far no fear.

29. I exhaled. "I bit a pillow...or two. That's not what I'm talking about."
"You bit a pillow? Why?"
"Look, Bella!" I snarled and took her hand gently, stretching her arm in front of her. "Look at that!"
"Oh," She said, realization washing over her.
"I'm...so sorry, Bella." I whispered. "I knew better than this. I should not have –", I growled, angry
with myself. "I am more sorry than I can tell you." I threw my arm over my eyes, too ashamed to
have her see me. She touched my arm, wrapping her fingers around my wrist, trying to get me to
look at her but I didn't budge.
"Edward," She waited, but I was still motionless. "Edward?" She said again. "I'm not sorry,
Edward. I'm...I can't even tell you. I'm so happy. That doesn't cover it. Don't be angry. Don't I'm
really f –"
"Don't say the word fine." I said icily. Here I was a monster and she was apologizing, after I hurt
her, trying to make me feel better for what I had done. "If you value my sanity, do not say that you
are fine."
"But I am." She whispered
"Bella," I groaned. "Don't."
"No. You don't, Edward." I could tell she was really angry now. I removed my arm to look into her
eyes.
"Don't ruin this," she said. "I. Am. Happy."
"I've already ruined this." I heard my voice as it caught in my throat.
"Cut it out," she snapped and I grinded my teeth together chewing back my retort.
"Ugh!" She huffed. "Why can't you just read my mind already? It's so inconvenient to be a mental
mute!"
My eyes widened in surprise. "That's a new one. You love that I can't read your mind."
"Not today."
I stared at her. Would I ever be able to understand the way her mind worked? "Why?"
"Because all this angst would be completely unnecessary if you could see how I feel right now! Or
five minutes ago, anyway. I was perfectly happy. Totally and completely blissed out. Now- well, I'm
sort of pissed actually.
"You should be angry at me."
"Well, I am. Does that make you feel better?"
I sighed; she knew that it wouldn't make me happy to know that she was mad, mad at me no less.
"No, I don't think anything could make me feel better now."
"That!" She snapped. "That right there is why I'm angry. You're killing my buzz, Edward."

30. She took a deep breath and tried to soothe me. "We knew this was going to be tricky. I thought
that was assumed. And then – well, it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. And this is really
nothing." She said brushing her bruised arm with her delicate fingers. "I think for a first time, not
knowing what to expect, we did amazing. With a little practice –" she broke off as she took in my
expression. I was angry, no, more than angry, livid. She'd assumed I would hurt her and she still
did it anyway.
"Assumed? Did you expect this Bella? Were you anticipating that I would hurt you? Were you
thinking it would be worse? Do you consider it a success because you can walk away from it? No
broken bones – that equals a victory?" She didn't speak for what seemed like an eternity,
probably waiting for me to calm down.
"I didn't know what to expect – but I definitely didn't not expect how...how... just wonderful and
perfect it was." Her voice fell to a dull whisper and she took her eyes away from mine and looked
at her hands as she fidgeted. "I mean, I don't know how it was for you, but it was like that for me."
And then her eyes started to well with tears, again. Oh God was there no end to my torture of her.
First I hurt her, then starve her, now I make her cry because she thinks she hadn't adequately
pleasured me? That was so far from the truth, she was more than I could have ever dreamed
possible, prefect in everyway. I melted as I looked at her, as she felt like I hadn't enjoyed myself
making love with her.
I placed one of my icy fingers to her warm chin and raised her head to look at me. Is that what
you're worried about? That I didn't enjoy myself?"
Even thought I lifted her head her eyes still didn't look at me, still fidgeting with her hands in her
lap. "I know it's not the same, you're not human. I just was trying to explain that, for a human,
well, I can't imagine that life gets any better than that."
Oh crap, was all I could think. She really wasn't mad at me after all, not for hurting her at least.
She really wasn't going to flee from me with any of the feared running or screaming. I very
possibly just ruined something that was very special to her, simply because I forgot that it was to
be human.
"It seems that I have more to apologize for." I said frowning. "I didn't dream that you would
construe the way I feel about what I did to you to mean that last night wasn't...well, the best night
of my existence. But, I don't want to think of it that way, not when you were..." And I couldn't finish
my sentence because she smirked her sweet smile that always melted my icy heart.
"Really? The best ever?"
I took her face in my hands stroking her cheeks lightly with my thumbs. "I spoke to Carlisle after
you and I made our bargain, hoping he could help me. Of course he warned me this could be
very dangerous for you. He had faith in me though - faith I didn't deserve." I frowned and she
started to protest but I put my finger to her lips so she would allow me to finish.
"I also asked him what I should expect. I didn't know what it would be for me...what with my being
a vampire. Carlisle told me it was a very powerful thing, like nothing else. He told me physical
love was something I should not treat lightly. With out rarely changing temperaments, strong
emotions can alter us in permanent ways. But he said that I did not need to worry about that part
– you had already altered me so completely." I smiled this I knew was true. I was never happier
than I was with her.
"I spoke to my brothers. They told me it was a very great pleasure. Second only to drinking
human blood. But I've tasted your blood and there could be no blood more potent than that...I
don't think they were wrong, really. Just that it was different for us. Something more."

31. "It was more. It was everything."
"That doesn't change the fact that it was wrong. Even if it were possible that you really did feel
that way."
"What does that mean? Do you think I'm making this up? Why?"
"To ease my guilt. I can't ignore the evidence, Bella or your history for letting me off the hook
when I make mistakes." Every mistake I'd every made with her raced through my mind, James,
Victoria, leaving her, believing Rosalie and going to Italy when I thought she was dead, forbidding
her from seeing the mutt, allowing her to see the mutt, the list went on and on in my head.
She grabbed my face and pulled my face close to hers, staring into my eyes. "You listen to me,
Edward Cullen. I am not pretending anything for your sake, okay? I didn't even know there was a
reason to make you feel better until you started being all miserable. I've never been so happy in
all my life – I wasn't this happy when you decided that you loved me more than you wanted to kill
me, or the first morning I woke up and you were there, waiting for me...Not when I heard your
voice in the ballet studio," I flinched as the images of Bella screaming on the floor entered my
mind, but she continued on. "Or when I said 'I do' and I realized that I somehow get to keep you
forever. Those are the happiest memories I have and this is better than any of it. So, just deal
with it."
She was frowning and I touched my finger to the crease that appeared between her eyebrows.
"I'm making you unhappy. I don't want to do that."
"Then don' you be unhappy. That's the only this that's wrong her."
I blinked quickly and took a large intake of breath that I didn't need and sighed. "You're right. The
past is past and I can't do anything to change it. There's no sense in letting my mood sour this
time for you. I'll do whatever I can to make you happy."
"Whatever, it takes to make me happy?" She tried to ask seductively, trying to draw me in with her
charms, however, her stomach betrayed her and growled loudly, so I was able to ignore her
advances.
"You're hungry." I said, having forgotten about the first time her stomach growled. I stood up
quickly, watching as the feather stirred in the air.
"So, why exactly did you decided to ruin Esme's pillows?" She joked, shaking her long beautiful
hair, trying to relieve it of the white down that stuck in it.
"I don't know that I decided to do anything last night." I muttered. "We're lucky it was the pillows
and not you." I thought of what it would have meant if it had been Bella I had bitten. I quickly
shook the thought from my mind and tried very hard to smile.
She slid from the bed, looking nothing like she had last night. I gasped and turned my back to her.
Her beautiful body was littered with bruises, I had done that to her, was all I could think.
"Do I look that hideous?" She asked lightly, walking into the bathroom. I couldn't even breathe.
She was beautiful as always, but it was me who make all those mark on her skin.
I heard her groan and I rushed to her side to see what was wrong. "Bella?"
"I'll never get this out of my hair!" She pointed to the tangle of white and brown that was her hair.