Proofed Paper: ntp529087 - Thu Jan 10 12:25:05 EST 2019 Paper Title: Global Warming & Climate Change No. of Pages: 4 Pages Paper Style: APA Paper Type: Persuasive/Argumentative Taken English? Yes English as Second Language? No Feedback Areas: Focus/Thesis Statement, Sentence Variety Paper Goals: Evaluate the sources you’ve used in your paper according to the criteria outlined in this chapter. Do you believe some sources of information are more trustworthy than others? How would you determine trustworthiness? If Nick Thomas wants to learn how consumers’ attitudes toward global warming are re Proofing Summary: Hi Delores, I’m Jeanette, your writing tutor for the Writing Center. I have reviewed your submission and have several suggestions that will help you revise. Please feel free to contact us through a 24/7 live writing session with any follow-up questions or for any clarification. Below, you will find a revision plan along with margin comments within your paper. Use my suggestions as a starting point for the revision process. Note that I have not proofread the draft for minor errors, but rather, focused on larger concerns such as idea development. For a complete look at grammar and punctuation, please use the Grammarly software available under “Writing Center” in your classroom. You have done a nice job of researching your topic and putting your thoughts down about your research and the sources you selected! For your revisions, I suggest focusing on: 1. Organization: Your paper is not organized is a typical essay format. For an essay, you should have a title page, an introduction paragraph, three or four main body paragraphs, a conclusion, and a references page. For more information on APA format and organizing your paper, click on the links below: http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/writing-a-paper http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/introduction-apa 2. Thesis Statement: Your thesis statement is unclear. Your thesis should be a clear, concise, and declarative statement included at the end of your introduction. When revising your thesis, it should include the main topic of your paper = global warming and climate change and the key points that you will discuss within your paper. The thesis sets the purpose and direction for your essay. For more information on writing a thesis, click here: http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/writing-a-thesis 3. Citations: In some areas of your paper you have included in-text citations for paraphrasing from your sources but it does not appear that you have paraphrased any information from the source in this paragraph. Keep in mind...An in-text citation is a citation within your writing that shows where you found your information, facts, quotes, and research. All in-text citations require the same basic information: Author’s last name (no first names or initials), year of publication (or “n.d.” if there is “no date”), page or p.

1. Proofed Paper: ntp529087 - Thu Jan 10 12:25:05 EST 2019
Paper Title: Global Warming & Climate Change
No. of Pages: 4 Pages
Paper Style: APA Paper Type: Persuasive/Argumentative
Taken English? Yes English as Second Language? No
Feedback Areas: Focus/Thesis Statement, Sentence Variety
Paper Goals: Evaluate the sources you’ve used in your paper
according to the criteria outlined
in this chapter. Do you believe some sources of information are
more trustworthy
than others? How would you determine trustworthiness? If Nick
Thomas wants to
learn how consumers’ attitudes toward global warming are re
Proofing Summary:
Hi Delores,
I’m Jeanette, your writing tutor for the Writing Center. I have
reviewed your submission and have several suggestions that
will help you revise. Please feel free to contact us through a

2. 24/7 live writing session with any follow-up questions or for
any clarification.
Below, you will find a revision plan along with margin
comments within your paper. Use my suggestions as a starting
point
for the revision process. Note that I have not proofread the draft
for minor errors, but rather, focused on larger concerns
such as idea development. For a complete look at
grammar and punctuation, please use the Grammarly software
available under “Writing Center” in your
classroom.
You have done a nice job of researching your topic and putting
your thoughts down about your research and the sources
you selected!
For your revisions, I suggest focusing on:
1. Organization: Your paper is not organized is a typical essay
format. For an essay, you should have a title page, an
introduction paragraph, three or four main body paragraphs, a
conclusion, and a references page. For more information on
APA format and organizing your paper, click on the links
below:
http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/writing-a-paper
http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/introduction-apa

3. 2. Thesis Statement: Your thesis statement is unclear. Your
thesis should be a clear, concise, and declarative statement
included at the end of your introduction. When revising your
thesis, it should include the main topic of your paper = global
warming and climate change and the key points that you will
discuss within your paper. The thesis sets the purpose and
direction for your essay. For more information on writing a
thesis, click here:
http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/writing-a-thesis
3. Citations: In some areas of your paper you have included in-
text citations for paraphrasing from your sources but it does
not appear that you have paraphrased any information from the
source in this paragraph. Keep in mind...An in-text citation
is a citation within your writing that shows where you found
your information, facts, quotes, and research. All in-text
citations
require the same basic information: Author’s last name (no first
names or initials), year of publication (or “n.d.” if there is “no
date”), page or paragraph number (for direct quotations only).
For a direct quote...(Smith, 2017, p. 15). For a
paraphrase...(Smith, 2017). Remember to follow the ICE method
with adding citations to your paper - introduce, cite, and
explain. A citation should not stand alone as a sentence. It
should always be introduced and explained as to why it is

4. important evidence it supporting your topic sentence and how it
ties back to your thesis. For more information on adding
citations to your paper, follow this link:
http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/citing-within-
your-paper
4. Sentence Variety: I would review your paper for complete
sentences and specific wording. There are some areas in your
essay where you are not writing in complete sentences. A
sentences is a complete thought with a subject and a verb.
Check the comment/suggestions within your paper and revise as
needed. Use specific wording and precise vocabulary to
convey your messages. I also made comments/suggestions in
areas that were a little vague and more explanation/content
was needed.
Good luck in the course!
Jeanette
Writing Consultant
page 1 / 5
Proofed Paper: ntp529087 - Thu Jan 10 12:25:05 EST 2019

5. This first paragraph does not contain
sentences but rather a list. Are you
required to format your paper in
complete sentences. I would check the
expectations for your assignment and
revise as needed.
Typically the first paragraph is an
introduction paragraph that lets the
reader know what your paper will be
about.
word choice: "trustworthiness"
Typically, your sources are listed on the
References page at the end of the paper
and not in the paper itself. Again, I would
check the expectations of the assignment.
You may want to confirm what the essay
is supposed to be about and what it
should contain. Typically, you would be

6. writing a small summary of each source
and not listing the sources in paragraph
form.
word choice: "are"
omit "rather"
insert "a"
omit "of"
The first parenthesis material is not needed.
You would include the (Moore et al.,
2015). if you were paraphrasing from the
article itself. It does not appear that you
have summarized any information from
the source in this paragraph.
Keep in mind...
An in-text citation is a citation within your
writing that shows where you found your
information, facts, quotes, and research.
All in-text citations require the same basic

7. information: Author’s last name (no first
names or initials), year of publication (or
“n.d.” if there is “no date”), page or
paragraph number (for direct quotations
only).
For a direct quote...(Smith, 2017, p. 15).
For a paraphrase...(Smith, 2017).
Remember to follow the ICE method with
adding citations to your paper - introduce,
cite, and explain. A citation should not
stand alone as a sentence. It should
always be introduced and explained as to
why it is important evidence it supporting
your topic sentence and how it ties back to
your thesis. For more information on
adding citations to your paper, follow this
link:
http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/citing-within-
your-paper

8. page 2 / 5
Proofed Paper: ntp529087 - Thu Jan 10 12:25:05 EST 2019
I would suggest not including the
in-text citation for a paraphrase as it
does not seem as though your
paraphrased anything from the source
here.
I would suggest you be more specific in
your writing with telling the reader what
the topics are. Can you elaborate? Can
you use specific wording?
this wording is unclear - check your word choice here
I would suggest..."The trustworthiness"...
This is a fragment and not a complete sentence. I would suggest
revising to form a complete sentence with a subject and a verb.
page 3 / 5

9. Proofed Paper: ntp529087 - Thu Jan 10 12:25:05 EST 2019
Should there be a conclusion paragraph that
sums up your essay at the end here?
page 4 / 5
Proofed Paper: ntp529087 - Thu Jan 10 12:25:05 EST 2019
For proper APA format, all font within
your paper should be consistent
throughout. Use 12 point Times New
Roman. Black and no bold font.
Double-space throughout your paper.
Your entries should be listed at the left
margin and the second and subsequent
lines should be indented to create a
hanging indent.
For more information on creating a
References page in APA format, please

10. click on the link below:
http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/format-your-
reference-list
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Proofed Paper: ntp529102 - Thu Jan 10 12:55:52 EST 2019
Paper Title: Final Project Part III Marketing Plan
No. of Pages: 4 Pages
Paper Style: APA Paper Type: Persuasive/Argumentative
Taken English? Yes English as Second Language? No
Feedback Areas: Focus/Thesis Statement, Sentence Structure
Paper Goals: Complete the Marketing Plan Exercises at the end
of each assigned chapter.
These exercises will be the building blocks for your final
project, a marketing plan.
You will do each exercise on the same enterprise. Your
enterprise strategy may

11. be: 1) real, emerging, or imaginary; 2) product or service o
Proofing Summary:
Hi, Delores
I’m Stephen, your composition tutor for the Writing Center. I
have reviewed your submission and have several
suggestions that will help you revise. Please feel free to contact
us through a live chat session with any follow-up
questions or for any clarification.
Below, you will find a revision plan along with margin
comments within your paper. Use my suggestions as a starting
point for the revision process. Also, please note that I have not
edited or proofread the entire draft for minor errors, but
rather, focused on overall concerns such as idea development.
For a complete look at your grammar and punctuation,
please use the Grammarly software available under “Writing
Center” in your classroom.
You have done a nice job of working on this assignment! There
is a lot of interesting information here, which is a good
foundation to building on your overall assignment!
For your revisions, I suggest focusing on:
1. You should work on your paragraph development. In general,
paragraphs should be around 5-7 sentences, and they

12. need to have 3 pieces:
P-Point—also known as your topic sentence where you state
what the paragraph is about
I-Information—where you present your information (facts,
details, quotes, and reasons)
E-Explanation—where you explain the relevance or importance
of your information
This means that you shouldn't be starting or ending paragraphs
with Information. Your Point and Explanations should all
be in your own words. Please be sure to do all of this when
writing your paragraphs. For help with this, click here:
http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/body-paragraphs
2. Please make sure that you are fully incorporating all
information used in your paper. They should be introduced and
followed-up with an explanation and analysis of their meaning;
do not assume that your reader will understand how the
information connects to your point. A number of your citations
don't seem to have an explanation. Make sure to add
substantive explanations to all of your citations. To learn about
this process, please click here:
http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/quoting-
paraphrasing-summarizing
Good luck in the course, and I hope we can help you with your
next assignment.

13. page 1 / 6
Proofed Paper: ntp529102 - Thu Jan 10 12:55:52 EST 2019
page 2 / 6
Proofed Paper: ntp529102 - Thu Jan 10 12:55:52 EST 2019
You should make sure that you are
developing your paragraphs properly.
Each paragraph should start with a topic
sentence that tells the reader what the
paragraph will discuss. Your sources are
only supposed to be used to support that
topic sentence; they shouldn't be used
as the topic sentence. Please make sure
that you're doing this.
You should also make sure that you are
properly explaining any citation that you
use in this paper. A good way to do this

14. is by using what is called the ICE
method, which helps to ensure that your
sources are seamlessly integrated into
your paper. For help using the ICE
method, look here:
http://tinyurl.com/hzhqgj6
Please make sure to remove your
instructions from your paragraphs.
page 3 / 6
Proofed Paper: ntp529102 - Thu Jan 10 12:55:52 EST 2019
You should also make sure that you are
not referring to the instructions, or the
paper itself, while you are writing.
Mentioning this "study", "assignment", or
"paper" needs to be avoided.
Please make sure that you are

15. speaking clearly, so that it is easy to
see what you are trying to say. it's not
clear how the reader is supposed to
read this information.
page 4 / 6
Proofed Paper: ntp529102 - Thu Jan 10 12:55:52 EST 2019
Again, please make sure that you're not
starting or ending paragraphs with
citations like this. You need to make sure
that each of your paragraphs are properly
developed, with topic sentences,
supported by sources that are thoroughly
explained. Please make sure to do this by
using the PIE and ICE methods in
conjunction with each other.
In addition, you should make sure that

16. each paragraph is of a good length. In
general, paragraphs should be at least 5-7
sentences long. Please make sure that
you're not making paragraphs that are only
1-4 sentences, or ones that are made up
entire of information from your sources.
page 5 / 6
Proofed Paper: ntp529102 - Thu Jan 10 12:55:52 EST 2019
These first two sources seem to be missing
information. You should make sure to use the
link below for assistance with citing them
correctly:
http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/format-your-
reference-list
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