This document provides tips for building self-confidence in 3 key areas: reframing negative thoughts, leveraging existing strengths, and developing internal validation. It recommends challenging unhealthy thinking patterns, using current successes as a foundation to build other skills, and learning to recognize own achievements rather than relying on external praise. Developing self-confidence through these methods can improve multiple life domains and make one more resilient to challenges.

1. How to Build Your
Self-Confidence

2. Reframing negative thoughts
helps consciously create a new
path to self-esteem.Leveraging
current strengths in one area
can help build confidence in
another.Using others for
external validation is not
sustainable for long-term self-
confidence. It's best to find ways
to recognize oneself.Building
confidence helps improve
multiple areas of life, including
encounters with others and
recovery from setbacks.

3. Building your confidence and
self-esteem is a daunting task.
Yet, building your confidence
can benefit you in many areas
of your life—the better you feel,
the more you are willing to say
yes to new
activities/challenges, and the
less likely you are to fall into
vices for comfort. To begin to
examine how you can build your
confidence, challenge your
unhealthy thinking, build on
your existing successes, and
find ways to validate yourself.

4. Challenge unhealthy thinking
We have internal dialogue running in
our heads all day. We are mostly
unaware of what we are even saying to
ourselves. For instance, you forget your
cell phone and then start cursing under
your breath that you are stupid. These
may seem like inconsequential
statements, but every time you say
something negative about yourself it
strengthens your neural pathway
between your concept of stupid and
your concept of self.
To break this, you have to consciously
create a new path. You might instead
say, "It was a stupid thing" (you are not
stupid) or "Man, I must be stressed to
have forgotten that."

5. Here are some tips on how to
challenge your thinking:
Challenge black-and-white thinking
such as "I always do this" or "I never
do this"Reframe global statements to
local ones, like "I'm forgetful" to "I
forgot this one thing"Say these
reframes to yourself in a mirror. Say
three nice things or reframes for
every negative statement
To see if you are progressing, assign
a friend or a partner to call you out
on your negative self-talk language.
Notice if you are gradually getting
fewer call-outs.

6. Build on your successes
Utilize your strengths. Find an area you
already feel confident in and leverage it
to help you solve other issues. For
example, if you don't feel confident with
managing the budget but you have
strong relationships, leverage your
people skills to help you. For instance,
you can set up a working meeting or
have others walk you through the
process rather than you trying to learn it
alone.

7. Other ways to build upon your successes
are:
Connect a task to your passion (e.g.,
gamify something if feeling competitive
gets you excited).Identify your personal
values and connect them to your day-to-
day activities.Ask others what they think
your strengths are (you may be surprised
by the answers).Mentor others who need
help in areas you are good at.After
receiving positive feedback, ask for a
referral or new projects in similar areas.
To see if you are progressing, ask a boss or
colleague whether they feel you are
closing your development gaps.

8. Find internal validation
Using others for external validation is
okay in the short term, but it's not
sustainable for your confidence or self-
esteem in the long run. Our brains are
wired to see the bad first, so it takes
conscious action to notice the positive.

9. To build internal validation:
Fake it 'til you make it. Hyping yourself
up or telling yourself you got this will
help your brain remain calm and
actually increase your chances of
success.Start your day positively with
gratitude, writing down your successes,
and/or things you like about
yourself.After a performance
conversation or getting feedback, write
down at least one positive comment you
heard.Build a shrine to yourself with
things like your degree, an award, or
thank-you cards. Have it as a go-to place
to look at when feeling low.Build small
rewards and recognition for yourself
daily—even if you didn't achieve a task,
reward your effort.Reflect on your
achievements at the end of every day.

10. To see if you are developing this skill,
when someone gives you praise, does
it feel random or out of the blue? Or
does it feel deserved and an act of
recognition? When it feels like
recognition, this shows you have
already praised yourself for the
work.
Building your confidence will help
you across other areas of life. That is,
feeling good at work is likely to have
spillover effects on your encounters
at home and with friends. People will
see you as more competent, problems
won't seem as daunting, and you will
recover from setbacks faster.