In this webinar, Dr. Nora Baladerian, licensed clinical psychologist, discusses: - The Do's and Don'ts of having sex - Different kinds of sexuality - Possible outcomes of having sex - When, where and with whom it's OK to have sex

1. Welcome to the USC UCEDD Webinar Series
for Individuals with Disabilities & Parents
funded by grant #90DD0695 from
the Administration on Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities (AIDD)
Administration on Community Living
April 28, 2016

2. Your Moderator
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Susan Kanegawa
USC UCEDD Family Support Coordinator
skanegawa@chla.usc.edu
www.uscucedd.org
The USC University Center of Excellence in Developmental Disabilities at Children’s Hospital Los
Angeles (USC UCEDD) is one of 68 UCEDDs funded to promote systemic change, advocacy, and
capacity building in states on behalf of individuals with, or at risk for, developmental, behavioral
and/or special health care needs and their families.
The USC UCEDD Webinar series is designed to educate the community about current policy issues
which impact the lives of people we serve and their families. Our primary audience is individuals
with special needs and their families. However, service providers, program managers, students in
training and others are welcome as space allows. At this time, our webinars are in English only.
We are exploring methods to make this series available in other languages in the future.

3. Structure and Logistics
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5. 5
The Rules of Sex
For People with Developmental Disabilities
Dr. Nora Baladerian
Clinical Psychologist
April 28, 2016

6. About Dr. Nora Baladerian
Dr. Baladerian, Ph.D., LMFT, CST, is a licensed clinical and
forensic psychologist and marriage, child, and family
counselor. She is also author of a book, The Rules of Sex
for Those Who Have Never Been Told, written for young
adults with developmental disabilities.
Dr. Baladerian is also director of the Disability and Abuse
Project, whose mission is to identify ways to reduce the
risk of abuse, to promote healing for victims, and to seek
justice for those who have been victimized.
www.disabilityandabuse.org
Disability and Abuse Project
2100 Sawtelle Blvd. #204
Los Angeles, CA 90025
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Baladerian@gmail.com
DisabilityandAbuse.org
NoraBaladerian.com
Healingwithtft.com

7. Why do we need a book on
“The Rules of Sex”?
• The first purpose is to tell people the laws and social rules about sexual
behavior. If no one talks about this, there is no way to learn what is OK
and what is not.
• You only find out when you get into trouble for breaking a social rule or
a law. That is unfair.
• The second purpose is to help people talk about sexual behaviors and get
information about sexuality in a way that they can easily understand.
• My book is also good for police officers, probation officers, and others in
law enforcement.
• Usually the sexual act is not the problem. The problem is WHERE it is
done, or with WHOM it was done, or sometimes even WHEN it was
done.
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8. Talking
about Sex
and What
Is Sex?
Possible
Outcomes
Basic Do’s
and
Don’ts
Laws,
Sexual
Rights and
Privacy
Words for
Sex
Overview of the Webinar
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9. Talking About Sex and What Is Sex?
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Talking
About Sex
and What
Is Sex?
Possible
Outcomes
Basic Do’s
and
Don’ts
Laws,
Privacy
and
Sexual
Rights
Words for
Sex

10. Taboos on Talking About Sex
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Talking about sex makes some people
“sheepish” 

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Our
settings are
different…
Yes, you are
equipped with
WiFi antenna
and I have a
USB port…

12. Talking About Sex
• Usually, people do not talk about sex.
• And, when they do, often they are embarrassed.
• Most of the time, people avoid the subject, or they make jokes
about it.
• If you want to know about sex, I want to give you the information
in a way that is clear, and easy to understand. We will not be
embarrassed about this very important area of our lives.
• My book is for teenagers, young adults, and any adult who
wants to know about sex. It is also for for parents, teachers,
counselors and advocates, so they have clear ideas about the
rules of sex.
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13. Talking About Sex
• Even though our culture may promote negative feelings
about sexuality, everyone in the country also has a private
life, in which they enjoy their sexuality. And they talk
about it to each other.
• The question is, how do you learn about something when
you are never allowed to talk about it?
• Today’s discussion will help you talk more easily about sex.
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14. What is sex?
What does “having sex” mean?
For a man with a woman, this means sexual intercourse, when a man’s
penis is put into a woman’s vagina.
For a man with a man, it is when one puts his penis into the anus of
the other.
For a woman with a woman, it is touching, rubbing and licking the
genitals and inserting sex toys into the vagina or anus.
This is done for the pleasure both people have when they do it. People
have sex because it is enjoyable.
NOTE: If it wasn’t fun…would we all be here?
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15. Basic Do’s and Don’ts of Sex
The law says you can have sex with another person if:
1. You both are 18 years of age or more (check for the law in
your State)
2. You both want to have sex
3. You are not the person’s child or parent or brother or sister
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Talking
About Sex
and What
Is Sex?
Possible
Outcomes
Basic Do’s
and
Don’ts
Laws,
Sexual
Rights
and
Privacy
Words for
Sex

16. You cannot have sex with someone if you are
the person’s…
• Teacher or student
• Supervisor or employee
• Personal care provider or employer
• Bus driver or rider (if they are disability-related service
providers)
• Independent Living Services (ILS) worker or client
• Individual Services worker or client
• Regional Center worker or client
• Doctor or patient
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17. Sex and others
• Looking
• Touching
• Talking
What are the rules?
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18. We also have VALUES about
having sex with other people.
• These are our thoughts and feelings about whether or not
what we do is consistent with our beliefs, and what we think
is right and wrong.
• When is it right to have sex? When is it wrong to have sex?
When is it the right time? Will having sex with this person
hurt anyone?
• These values come from our religion, our family, our culture,
our society, and ourselves. Each person develops their own
values as they become adults.
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19. Talking
About Sex
and What
Is Sex?
Basic Do’s
and
Don’ts
Laws,
Sexual
Rights
and
Privacy
Possible
Outcomes
Words for
Sex
• Sex is important for us personally, for our self-esteem and our
self-image.
• It is important in how we feel socially.
• It is important to know how you feel about sex, what YOU think
is right or wrong, and to think about the consequences of sex for
you.
• What is YOUR CODE of sexual conduct?
• Did you write out your own code before 18?
Possible Outcomes of Having Sex
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20. Considering positive and negative aspects, think about some
outcomes of engaging in sexual activity with another person.
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POSITIVE NEGATIVE
PHYSICAL
THINKING
EMOTIONAL
SPIRITUAL
SOCIAL

21. For example...
What are the PHYSICAL positive and
negative consequences of engaging in
sexual activity with another person? How
does your body feel?
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22. Positive
• You feel like you have just exercised
• Your body feels very satisfied & relaxed
• You are tired, but a “good” tired
• A pregnancy begins that you wanted
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23. Negative
• You give or receive a sexually transmitted
disease
• A pregnancy begins that you DID NOT
want
• Your body hurts because your partner
was too rough with you.
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24. Laws, Sexual Rights and Privacy
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Talking
About Sex
and What
Is Sex?
Basic Do’s
and
Don’ts
Laws,
Sexual
Rights
and
Privacy
Possible
Outcomes
Words for
Sex

25. Laws
• “Laws” are rules that tell us what we cannot do! For
example, the law says you cannot steal, or cross the
street when the signal light is red.
• These are written in a book called the Penal Code in
your state.
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26. Rights
• “Rights” are when you want to do a certain thing and
people can’t tell you that you can’t do it—as long as
what you want to do is not a “bad thing.”
• It it is hard to understand what “rights” are because
you cannot see them or touch them or feel them.
• “Rights” is a word that talks about things people are
allowed to do.
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27. Rights
Sex and Others
What about people who live in a group home?
• If you live in a group home, the group home staff
must allow you to have sex in your room.
• If they say you cannot, talk to your caseworker or
your Regional Center counselor to say your rights are
being violated.
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28. Rights
Masturbation
• Masturbation is the act of touching yourself sexually to feel
sexy and to complete a sexual experience.
• This can be done alone and in private (the usual situation) or
it can be done with others, if it is in a private place and they
all agree.
• This is something that almost everyone does, but usually
nobody talks about. It is very important that people do not
feel bad about doing this.
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29. Privacy
The Constitution of the State of California tells us about other
rights we have. The very first Article says:
“All people are by nature free and independent and have
inalienable rights. Among these are enjoying and defending life
and liberty, acquiring, possessing, and protecting property and
pursuing and obtaining safety, happiness and privacy”.
(November 1974)
If you live in another state, check your constitution to see if your
right to privacy is protected.
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30. 30
Talking
About Sex
and What
Is Sex?
Basic Do’s
and
Don’ts
Laws,
Sexual
Rights
and
Privacy
Possible
Outcomes
Words for
Sex
Words for Sexual Acts and Body Parts

31. Some Words Associated with Sex
There are “proper” terms for body parts and sexual acts, as well as bodily
functions, and it is important to be able to say and discuss them.
• Intercourse
• Orgasm
• Foreplay
• Vagina
• Vulva
• Clitoris
• Breasts
• Nipples
• Penis
• Glans
• Testicles
• Ejaculation
• Erection
• Semen
• Condoms
• Birth control
• Oral sex
Common slang:
• “Come”
• “Make love”
• “Sleep with”
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32. Contents of The Rules of Sex Book
The book covers much more material than today’s talk. Here are the topics.
• Information about having sex: Basic do’s
and don’ts.
• What are the possible outcomes of
having sex?
• What about sex and me? What can I do?
• Sex and others: Looking, touching, when
is it right or wrong?
• Are there things I cannot say?
• Privacy Issues and sexual rights.
• Are there certain places you can and
cannot do sexual things?
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• What about gay sexuality?
• What are other kinds of sexuality?
• A way to know if what I want to do
sexually is OK or not.
• A way to know if something is the right
place, time and person.
• What is sexual abuse?
• Laws about sexual behaviour.
• Learning some words about sexual acts.
This book is available in English and
Spanish.

33. Resources
Planned Parenthood
1-800-230-PLAN or
1-800-230-752
www.plannedparenthood.org
Sex, Etc.
www.sxetc.org
ABS (American Board of Sexology)
PO Box 1166
Winter Park, FL 32790-1166
(407) 645-1641
www.americanboardofsexology.com
SIECUS (Sexuality Information &
Education Council of the U.S.)
1012 14th Street, NW, Suite 1108
Washington, DC 20005
(202) 265-2405
www.siecus.com
AASECT (American Assoc. of Sexuality
Educators, Counselors & Therapists)
1444 I Street, NW, Suite 700,
Washington, DC 20005
(202) 449-1099
www.aasect.org
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34. Contact Information for
Dr. Nora Baladerian
Disability and Abuse Project of Spectrum Institute
2100 Sawtelle Blvd., #204
Los Angeles, CA 90025
Phone: (310) 473-6768
Fax: (310) 754 2388
DisabilityandAbuse.org
NoraBaladerian.com
baladerian@gmail.com
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35. Poll:
Do you now have a better
understanding of the rules of sex?
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36. Ask Us a Question
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37. Thank you for attending
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