This document discusses effective parenting of teens through discipline rather than physical punishment. It states that physical abuse has long-term negative psychological effects on adolescents by teaching that violence is acceptable. Both overly permissive parenting with no boundaries and authoritarian parenting that allows no freedom are equally damaging. Effective discipline involves clear rules that are respectfully and reasonably enforced to teach responsibility while maintaining a balanced, caring parent-child relationship.

1. Parenting Teens-
Effective Discipline

2.  Many parents use physical punishment such as
slapping or beating to discipline their teen when
they misbehave. This type of abuse has long term
psychological effects on our adolescents. It
teaches them that violence is an acceptable way of
making others do something and that it is
acceptable to hit someone who is smaller or
weaker when angry. Violent discipline damages the
relationship between parent and teen.
Introduction

3.  Has low self esteem
 Exhibits lack of self respect
 Is withdrawn from relationships
 Refuses to communicate
 Engages in disruptive behaviour to gain attention
 Engages in illegal and dangerous activities
 Has difficulty following rules or obeying authority
Authoritarian

4.  Equally damaging are parents who give teens few
or no boundaries and allow them to have his or
own way by having temper tantrums or by playing
one adult against another.
 They have no concept of the reality that there are
consequences to every action.
 This teen is greedy, self centered and generally
unpleasant to be around.
INTRODUCTION

5.  Manipulates parents
 Develops insecurity because of lack of parental
firmness
 Expects others to accept whatever he or she does
 Throws temper tantrums
 Associates softness with weakness
 Behaves harshly in search of some kind of balance
Permissive Parents

6.  Is rebellious
 Feels insecure and worthless
 Performs poorly in school
 Acts uncontrollably or behaves inappropriately
 Is irresponsible as an adult
 Disregards rules, laws, and boundaries
 Engages in disruptive behaviour
 Often becomes a neglectful parent
Neglectful

7.  Explain the difference between punishment
and discipline.
 Establish guidelines for discipline.
Many parents believe that physical
punishment is the best way to handle
children. They believe that children must be
made to feel bad if they are going to ‘learn
their lesson.’ Discipline, on the other hand,
is the best tool for parents to use if they
want to achieve positive, long-term
parenting success.
Objectives

8.  Why is discipline important in a society ?
Disciplined Children make a
Disciplined Society

9.  For road safety
 Increased productivity
 Upholding the law
 Keeping order
WHY IS DISCIPLINE
IMPORTANT?

10. Does physical punishment teach unhealthy
lessons?
Is physical violence an acceptable way to
resolve conflicts and get revenge?
Do our adolescents learn from the way we
behave?
Do you say to yourself, “I spank or hit, but I
am not abusive?”
Consequences Of
Physical Punishment

11.  What are some of the ways that physical
punishment affects adolescents negatively?

12.  It can teach an adolescent that pain equals love
 It teaches them that violence is acceptable
behavior
 It humiliates them, causing low self-esteem
It teaches them not to work unless someone is
beating them.
 It can make them afraid of communicating with
people
PHYSICAL PUNISHMENT
AFFECTS TEEN NEGATIVELY!

13. 1. Resentment “This is unfair.”
2. Revenge “I’ll get even later.”
3. Retreat “I’ll just stay by myself” or “I’ll hide and do it”
4. Rebellion “I’ll do it anyway, just to prove who is in
control.”
Ineffective discipline using physical
punishment causes 4 R’s

14. For Discipline to be effective, it must meet all of the
following guidelines:
1. Revealed ahead of time, whenever possible and why.
“You need to be home by 11pm or you will not go to the
movies on Saturday.”
Make sure your adolescent understands why he or she
is being disciplined.
The Four Effective R’s

15. 2. Related logically to the behavior.
Discipline the behavior at hand, and not something that
happened in the past.
i.e. act as soon as possible, so that your adolescent will
associate the misbehavior with the consequence.
The 4 R’s

16. 3. Reasonable in extent and/or time
The degree and length of discipline should fit the
‘crime.’
Tell your adolescent how long the consequences will
last (eg. how long is the punishment).
The 4 R’s

17. 4.Respectful to both parents and adolescents
Be firm and fair; do not insult or humiliate children.
This is sometimes difficult when you are angry, but it is
worth the effort. You will be setting a good example
for your adolescent to follow.
 Tell your adolescent that you love him or her
unconditionally. Whenever you want a positive
behavior to be repeated, use encouragement and
praise.
The 4 R’s

18.  Parent who sets boundaries, has clearly defined rules
which are consistently enforced and one who shows a
lot of warmth and acceptance.
 It is a combination of being respectful and firm. Helps
solve problems in a way that makes both parents and
teen happy. It teaches responsibility and clearly
conveys a parent’s limits and expectations for
acceptable behaviour
BALANCED PARENT

19. Before we discipline, parents should ask themselves, “What will
this discipline teach my adolescent?” We should not discipline
out of anger, or out of a desire to control our children.
The word ‘discipline’ comes from the Greek word ‘disciple.’
Disciples follow a leader who guides them. The parent’s role in
discipline, therefore, is that of teacher and leader – not
controller.
BALANCED PARENT

20.  Has a healthy sense of self respect and self worth
 Is secure and stable
 Obeys rules and authority
 Performs well in school
 Handles pressure well
 Communicates well with others
 Is fair and objective
 Raises his or her own children to be balanced parents
What do we
get for all our efforts? A teen who :

21. Sometimes we as parents need also to be “discipled”.
“ Put on your oxygen mask before attending to your child”
“ I can do all things through Him who gives me strength”
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect
in weakness”
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