Saying NO to irresponsible sex - Love, courtship and Marriage

© Pastor Simon Siew Saying NO to irresponsible sex
Produced by Simon Siew
The Christian youth and sex
(Saying ‘NO’ to irresponsible sex)
1/35

What you gain by sex before
marriage is not worth what you
will lose by it
Sex in its right place (within
marriage) helps to give security
and commitment to marriage
2/35

“While purity before marriage
consists in holding ourselves
from one another in obedience
to God,
purity after marriage
consists in giving ourselves
to and for each other in
obedience
to God.” Passion and Purity
by Elizabeth Elliot
3/35

• Choose a date who have the same
values as you
• Decide in advance to have sex
only in marriage.
• Make clear your attitude on sexual
behavior to your date long from the
beginning.
• Plan in advance what to say when
your date begins to make sexual
advances at you
• Make wise choice with regards to
what you will be doing during your
date
• Spend more time in group settings
DECIDE
WISELY!
4/35

1. Set Your Sexual Standard
NOT AT THE
BACK SEAT OF
THE CAR
(it’s too late!)
RIGHT
NOW
5/35

2. ONCE YOU HAVE SET YOUR
STANDARD ON ACCEPTABLE SEXUAL
BEHAVIOUR,
STICK WITH IT !
6/35

3. FIND friends with similar
beliefs and support each other in
your values and decisions about
SEX
7/35

4. UNDERSTAND you don’t have to give a
reason when you say “no.” It’s your body.
You make the decisions. You call the shots. Your
partner does not own your body.
8/35

5. BE aware that the further you
go sexually, the easier it is to
keep going.
• Physical intimacy will inevitably
lead to more of the same (you
tasted it once, you want it again).
• After doing the same a couple of
times, you want something more
(different)
• When you get tired of it, you or
your partner may start looking for
new thrills elsewhere and this often
leads to breakup.
9/35

6. DON’T put yourself in compromising
situations - like going to some dark places where
temptations are greater or watching a
pornographic video together (that’s suicidal).
10/35

7. Find other ways
to express your
feelings for each
other instead of
just physical ones.
If your partner
does not know of
some other way, he
or she has got a
real problem.
11/35

8. Guys and NOT only
girls, need to say
“NO”
12/35

9. If you’re not happy with what
your boyfriend or girlfriend is asking
you to do, talk it over with an adult you
trust.
13/35

People all over
the world are
now realizing
contraceptive is
not the answer.
Conduct
NOT
Condoms!
14/35

Pamphlets promoting sexual
abstinence (saving sex for marriage)
15/35

Karie Hughes – “Sex before marriage is like gambling – each
number on the dice represents a risk – pregnancy, STD, a
broken heart and so on”
Karie Hughes – during
her abstinence workshop
with high school students
16/35

Leslie McLean & Sarah Nennig
pledging to practise abstinence by
wearing ‘purity rings’
17/35

18/35
How to say “No” when you are pressured to say
“Yes”

19/35
“Yes”

20/35
“Yes”

21/35
“Yes”

 You’re making me uncomfortable and I don’t
think you want me to feel this way on a date
that I have been looking forward to.
 Let’s do something we both feel good about.
My idea of dating is doing things that both of
us want and not just what you want!
Stop
22/35

 I am a Christian and what you are doing is
not right according to my beliefs.
 It really bothers me to have to keep pushing
you off.
 STOP or take me home!
Stop
23/35

The painful facts of those who engage in
premarital sex
24/35

The Painful Facts of Premarital Sex
Those who engage in premarital sex are
more likely to break up before marriage than
those who don’t due to a sense of insecurity
arising from past sexual practices.
1
25/35

Many men do not want
to marry a woman who
has had sex with
someone else before –
they practise double
standards
2
26/35

Couples who
have had sex
before marriage
are more likely
to divorce
3
27/35

Premarital sex can push you
into marrying the wrong
person. When you marry you
are supposed to say “I do”
and NOT “I have to!” (i.e. due
to pregnancy).
4
28/35

Non virgins tend
not to have as
happy a marriage
than those who are
virgins due to the
problems of
anxiety, jealousy
and depression.
5
29/35

Non-virgins are more
likely to commit
adultery after they are
married compared to
those who are virgins
6
30/35

Sex before marriage can
leave you with lifelong
guilt and embarrassment
especially if you didn’t
marry the person whom
you had sex with
7
31/35

Having sex before
marriage tends to
spoil the joy and
excitement of sex
after marriage
8
32/35

Premarital sex will
hurt your self-esteem
& self respect and
may cause you to
withdraw from others
9
33/35

Freedom from hurt
Freedom to follow
your life’s plan
The Freedom That Comes From
Following God’s Will
34/35

Decide to walk in the way of the
Lord today!
Blessed is the man/woman who walks not in the
counsel of the ungodly…but his/her delight is in
the law of the Lord. Psalm 1:1,2
35/35

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