Running head: COLLEGE COMP DISCUSSION 1 College comp discussion Name Date Part 1 Post draft outline There are several errors I made in the process of writing my first draft. There are various grammatical errors that my first draft contains. For example, in the first paragraph of my draft, I wrote “in contrary” instead of “in contrast”. This led to that statement conveying a different meaning, which I had not intended to convey. In some sections of the draft, I also failed to use punctuations efficiently. For example, there are areas where I failed to put commas, which led to the statements becoming a bit difficult to be understood. There are several phrases which I used in the draft that were a bit confusing to the reader. For example, the phrase, “increase in bullying experience than never experienced before”, was confusing to the reader. What this phrase simply meant was that technological developments had led to rapid flow of information, which had in turn led to an increase in bullying in our schools. In the draft, I have also used some statements which are a bit confusing to the reader. For example, the statement, “anti-bullying writing guard”, confuses the reader a lot. The statement meant the tactics that should be used to curb bullying in schools. Despite these grammatical errors, the draft flows well and also conveys the message that I had intended to convey to the society. Part 2 Revised introduction paragraph Whenever a person is introduced in a new environment for example schools, there are various activities which the person is made to go through. These activities are usually referred to as rite of passage by the old members of that place. However, to the new members it is known as bullying. This is something that is very common in our society, for example in our homes, schools, prisons and even workplaces. However, this act is very common in our schools, as the kids are usually eager to learn new things. It is common to hear of bullying cases in our schools, especially the older students bullying the new and younger students. The acts of bullying have several effects on the students, as they lead to both psychological and physical torture. As a result of this, various measures have been put in place in order to control this situation in our schools, so as to provide students with effective and efficient learning environment. Revised conclusion paragraph Some people tend to argue that bullying has some benefits to the students. One of the reasons given for their support of bullying is that it strengthens students psychologically and physically in the future endeavors. According to them, the pain endured during the bullying process enables the students undergoing the bullying process to become tough. This has led to some educational institutions failing to come up with efficient measures of curbing the situation. This has led to continued bullying of new members in the school, as the perpetrators of these acts are co ...

1. Running head: COLLEGE COMP DISCUSSION
1
College comp discussion
Name
Date
Part 1
Post draft outline
There are several errors I made in the process of writing my
first draft. There are various grammatical errors that my first
draft contains. For example, in the first paragraph of my draft, I
wrote “in contrary” instead of “in contrast”. This led to that
statement conveying a different meaning, which I had not
intended to convey. In some sections of the draft, I also failed
to use punctuations efficiently. For example, there are areas
where I failed to put commas, which led to the statements
becoming a bit difficult to be understood.
There are several phrases which I used in the draft that were a
bit confusing to the reader. For example, the phrase, “increase
in bullying experience than never experienced before”, was
confusing to the reader. What this phrase simply meant was that
technological developments had led to rapid flow of
information, which had in turn led to an increase in bullying in
our schools.
In the draft, I have also used some statements which are a bit
confusing to the reader. For example, the statement, “anti-

2. bullying writing guard”, confuses the reader a lot. The
statement meant the tactics that should be used to curb bullying
in schools. Despite these grammatical errors, the draft flows
well and also conveys the message that I had intended to convey
to the society.
Part 2
Revised introduction paragraph
Whenever a person is introduced in a new environment for
example schools, there are various activities which the person is
made to go through. These activities are usually referred to as
rite of passage by the old members of that place. However, to
the new members it is known as bullying. This is something that
is very common in our society, for example in our homes,
schools, prisons and even workplaces. However, this act is very
common in our schools, as the kids are usually eager to learn
new things. It is common to hear of bullying cases in our
schools, especially the older students bullying the new and
younger students. The acts of bullying have several effects on
the students, as they lead to both psychological and physical
torture. As a result of this, various measures have been put in
place in order to control this situation in our schools, so as to
provide students with effective and efficient learning
environment.
Revised conclusion paragraph
Some people tend to argue that bullying has some benefits to
the students. One of the reasons given for their support of
bullying is that it strengthens students psychologically and
physically in the future endeavors. According to them, the pain
endured during the bullying process enables the students
undergoing the bullying process to become tough. This has led
to some educational institutions failing to come up with

3. efficient measures of curbing the situation. This has led to
continued bullying of new members in the school, as the
perpetrators of these acts are confident that the school
administration will not take any drastic measures against them.
Such views by the school administrators on bullying should
cease. They should face these acts and eliminate completely
from our schools. To achieve this, they should come up with
strict policies aimed at dealing effectively with the perpetrators
of this vice.
Changes done to the paragraphs
I decided to come up with completely new introduction and
conclusion paragraphs. The reason for doing this is to ensure
that they conform to my thesis statement for the project, and
also convey the message that I wanted reach to the society. This
new paragraphs will be very effective for my project, as they
summarize the message conveyed in the essay. By reading these
paragraphs, the reader will be in a position to fully understand
what is contained in the essay.
METHODS OF PREVENTING BULLYING IN SCHOOLS
1
METHODS OF PREVENTING BULLYING IN SCHOOLS
2
Methods of Preventing Bullying In Schools
Kaplan University
David Bumford
11/21/13
Methods of Preventing Bullying In Schools
Bullying is a grave social problem in our communities, schools,
and homes. In most cases bullying is dismissed a ‘rite of
passage’ that affects the adolescent. However, research findings
are in contrast to this assertion because they have proven
beyond reasonable doubt that bullying is an acquired behavior

4. that is learned and can be detrimental to the physical, academic,
emotional, and social development of all parties involved in the
act. It is important to note that bullying affects the targets,
bullies, and witnesses of the act. Bullying does not affect the
youth only but it is a problem at all ages (Goryl, Neilsen-
Hewett, & Sweller, 2013). Countless volumes of research have
come up with “anti-bullying” programs, and despite increased
media scrutiny of the campaigns against the act, the vice
remains a thorn in the sole that has to be removed and
eradicated from the social platform. Bullying is a social issue
that is complex and requires a lot of determination, courage,
and leadership to address. With an increase in technology that
has provided rapid and impulsive communication, this has only
opened up an increase in bullying than never experienced
before. This has called for immediate response in addressing the
social menace. It is in line with this that this paper
acknowledges the fact that, to promote the prevention of
bullying school administrators, educators, and socially
dominant figures need to work together. The paper will look at
ways of preventing bullying at both the school and community
level.
Before this paper ventures further in describing some of the
possible solutions that can be implemented to prevent bullying,
it is important to state what bullying is and what it is not.
Bullying is defined as any form of severe physical or pervasive
act that includes communication in writing, electronically that
is aimed at a student, or a group of student and it could have the
following effects on the target:
· Placing the target in reasonable fear of harm either in person
or their property
· Negatively affecting the students’ mental or physical health
· Substantially negatively affecting the students’ performance
academically or
· Interfering with the ability to engage and benefit from

5. activities, services, and privileges provided by the school
On the other hand, some conduct although closely related to
bullying are not classified as bullying and these conducts
include:
· Mere teasing
· Talking trash
· Trading of insults
· The expression of beliefs and ideas, as long as the expression
is not profane, lewd, or in any way intended to harass or
intimidate another.
In an effort to prevent bullying which is very prevalent in our
schools, some states such as the State of Illinois have come up
with legislative measures that require schools to grow and
implement substantial policies that would help in preventing
and intervening in student bullying. In a more advanced effort
to prevent bullying, the Illinois State has stated under its laws
some statutes that are aimed at preventing bullying schools.
For example The School Code: 105 ILCS 5/10-20.14. This law
requires the district to develop and sustain a parent-teacher
advisory committee that together with the school board should
develop policy guidelines on pupil discipline, to furnish a copy
of the policy to parents and inform its pupils of the contents of
the policy (Berlin & Dalen, 2011).
The Illinois Criminal Code; Harassing and Obscene
Communication Act, 710ILCS135/1 clearly prohibits comments
that are intended or lewd to offend either via electronic
communication or via telephone. It also prohibits
communicating to a minor under 13years with the aim of
harassing or threatening them as it terms such an act bullying
(Berlin & Dalen, 2011).
Putting into consideration that nearly all students could be
perpetrators, witnesses or targets of bullying, and knowing the
fact that bullying could negatively affect the school climate and
students’ welfare. This calls for immediate action. The

6. inclusion of multifaceted approaches in an effort to reduce
bullying in schools has been dimed to possess a higher chance
of success in reduction of bullying. Inclusion of joint programs
that could register success includes:
· School-wide component, which are focused on creating
awareness, monitoring, training, and assessment of bullying in
our institutions (Bender& Lösel, 2011)
· Intervention programs for students who most often have been
perpetrators or targets of bullying.
· Classroom learning that is aimed building skills such as
empathy and problem solving in an effort to curb bullying.
Social and emotional learning is a bullying prevention
mechanism aimed at ensuring that students do not fall victim to
bullying by equipping them with social and emotional skills.
This technique is aimed at ensuring that students are equipped
with necessary life skills that will help them to effectively
handle life challenges, and help them thrive not only in their
learning environments but as well as with their social
environments. This mode of learning helps students manage and
recognize their emotions for others by caring and showing
concern and the establishment of positive relationships that will
reduce bullying in the schools (Bender& Lösel, 2011).
The school culture and climate are essential factors in the anti-
bullying, which should be considered. This is because the
school climate refers to how the students and teachers feel
about their presence at school every day. School climate is
influenced by a number of factors, such as; adult/student
interaction, structure of buildings and classroom, and the
feeling of safety and trust while at school (Goryl, Neilsen-
Hewett, & Sweller, 2013). This clearly shows that in order to
prevent bullying, both the society and school have a mandate to
create a school climate that promotes trust and safety to the
students. A healthy school climate should have the following:
· An environment that is conducive and supportive to learning
· An environment that allows room for effective interaction and
communication

7. · A good environment that promotes self-esteem and a sense of
belonging
The school climate goes line in line with the school culture. The
school culture should be one that does not tolerate bullying but
allows the peaceful coexistence of all students. Dr. Phillips a
researcher in student bullying once said that, “If people do not
improve, programs never will. By improving the school culture,
almost any focused program of improvement will see positive
results.”
On the other side, parents and social institutions such as
churches and other places of worship should be in the forefront
to instil good morals to the children. They should constantly
discuss with the children the negativities of bullying and why it
is a barbaric act, giving valuable reasons as to why they should
avoid the act (Goryl, Neilsen-Hewett, & Sweller, 2013).
It should be well noted that bullying is not a problem in itself
but rather the difficulty lies with the policies that run our
institutions. Most of these policies have lax penalties for
perpetrators of bullying and therefore creating a haven for
bullying escapades. If only the policies could be amended and
stricter measures put against bullying, then it would be a sure
bet that bullying would be extinct in the near future.
References
Bender, D., & Lösel, F. (2011). Bullying at school as a
predictor of delinquency, violence and other anti-social
behaviour in adulthood. Criminal Behaviour And Mental Health:
CBMH,21(2), 99-106. doi:10.1002/cbm.799
Ferguson, C. J. (2013). Anti-Bullying Programs Could Be a
Waste of Time. Time.Com, 1.
Goryl, O., Neilsen-Hewett, C., & Sweller, N. (2013). Teacher
education, teaching experience and bullying policies: Links
with early childhood teachers' perceptions and attitudes to
bullying.Australasian Journal Of Early Childhood, 38(2), 32-40.

8. Hon. Berlin, R. States Attorney, & Hon. Darlene, J.R. Ed.D.,
Superintendent. (2011). Best Practices in Bullying Prevention
and Intervention. Retrieved from
http://www.dupage.k12.il.us/main/anti-
bullying/pdf/BestPracticesManual.pdf