[R]evolution - Parenting Workshop Slides

1. [r]evolution:
Parenting in the
Digital Age

2. Agenda
•Welcome/Introductions
•Overview of Social Networks
•Parenting Styles/Mediation Styles
•Data Pessimism

3. Social Media Basics for Parents
A study of trends in teenagers’ favorite social media platforms from 2012-2020 found that
while in 2012, Facebook was the preferred platform of 42% of teenagers, that number
dropped to 2% in Fall 2020 (n = 9,500, median age = 15.8).
However, Pew Research found in 2021 that 95% of Americans aged 18-29 year-olds use
Facebook.
What does this discrepancy indicate?
A) Big difference in social media norms/use between “Millennials” and “Gen-Z”
B) Facebook is boring to its younger users, lacks allure of newer counterparts.
C) Parental participation/widespread adult use of Facebook may have “killed” the platform.
D) Teens/young adults may passively participate in social networking sites as a necessary act
of social surveillance, more actively participating in others that gratify their
content/interaction needs.

4. Social Media Basics for Parents
Twitter is a microblogging platform where users post
images, video clips and short text "tweets" up to 240
characters long. If you're curious as to what 240 characters
looks like, this text is exactly 240 characters long
Use: 42% (18-29
demographic)
Favorite
platform: 3%
(2020)
Unlike Facebook, which requires users to register as people,
Twitter’s username system allows for a far greater degree of
anonymity. As a result, it poses far greater risks for
cyberbullying and targeted harassment.
Additionally, Twitter’s emphasis on cleverness and witty
exchanges between individuals lends itself to sarcasm,
passive aggressiveness, and the infamous practice of
“subtweeting” where someone is gossiped about or
insulted without being tagged via the @ function.

5. Social Media Basics for Parents
Though Instagram started as a platform for sharing personal
photography, it has evolved to offer everything from meme
pages, fitness advice, cooking videos, celebrity fan pages, and
more.
Instagram requires users be at least 13 years old, but there is
no age verification process. The maturity of the content in
users’ feeds is determined by who they follow and the posts
that they like. Offensive content and sexually suggestive
images become an easy “rabbit hole” to fall down, as the
algorithm encourages patterns of consumption by offering up
similar content.
Use: 71% (18-29
demographic)
Favorite
platform: 25%
(2020)

6. Social Media Basics for Parents
Recently, Instagram began the practice of defaulting teen users’
profiles to be “private”, but that setting is easily toggled off. Users
with public pages can be contacted by anyone via the private
messaging system.
Many teens toggle between multiple Instagram profiles:
A “Rinsta” is a user’s public-facing, professional and parent-
friendly account, often with a rigorously adhered to visual
aesthetic and strict norms for how often users post.
A “Finsta” is a user’s private account, usually limited to close
friends as followers. Content is more casual and discloses more
personal information, operating as a virtual diary of sorts. Some
teens and college students use finstas as an outlet for posting
content that is not safe for work, such as underage drinking
videos, etc.
Use: 71% (18-29
demographic)
Favorite
platform: 25%
(2020)

7. Social Media Basics for Parents
The existence of “finstas” is often presented as a dire
emergency for parents to fiercely clamp down on.
Is this necessary?
In many areas of life, we are forced to negotiate between
our outward facing selves and our interiority; how much to
share with whom, and where we are safe to share it.
Do finstas represent a natural part of the “new
adolescence?” Should children be allowed this layer of
privacy, even if that means allowing them to make
mistakes?

8. Social Media Basics for Parents
One of the greatest dangers that Instagram presents to
children and teens is not stranger-danger or the consumption
of inappropriate content, but a learned aestheticization of
reality.
The “perfection” that Instagram offers is not new; for years,
airbrushed magazine models and celebrity billboards have
given us similar; the difference is that Instagram obfuscates
reality and “perfection” using one’s own peers as examples of
unattainable beauty/social accomplishments. Whether or not
one is initially aware that each image is being processed
through a series of filters and subtle edits, that fact is quickly
forgotten.
Use: 71% (18-29
demographic)
Favorite
platform: 25%
(2020)

9. Social Media Basics for Parents
Snapchat is a social communication platform which allows users to send
temporarily accessible pictures, videos, and text messages (AKA
“snaps”)
Users can post publicly available snaps known as “stories” for a period
of 24 hours, though they can restrict stories to be viewed by those on
their friends list or a specific subset of their friends (similar to finsta,
referred to as “private story”)
In addition to capturing normal videos/pictures through the phone’s
cameras, snapchat allows users to creatively apply humorous or
aesthetically pleasing filters to their face/voice.
Users who send snapchats to each other for 3 days or longer begin a
“streak”, and it is often an important social function to maintain streaks
of up to a year or more with close friends and significant others.
Use: 65% (18-29
demographic)
Favorite
platform: 34%
(2020)

10. Social Media Basics for Parents
Snapchat & Privacy
Snapchat’s “snapmap” feature allows for users to locate their friends via
their avatar being overlayed onto a GPS map of the globe. Friends can
zoom in as far as street level to see where nearby friends are located, as
well as those across the country or globe.
For obvious reasons, this presents a major privacy risk to young children
and teens. Fortunately, snapmap settings can be turned off entirely
(“Ghost mode”) or limited to specific friends.
Additionally, Snapchat stories posted publicly may inadvertently disclose
a user’s location, either through landmarks visible in the background of
an image/video which indicate a person’s location, or filters which may
indicate where someone is (i.e a text filter which states “Dairy Queen,
Charleston IL” at the bottom of an image)
Use: 65% (18-29
demographic)
Favorite
platform: 34%
(2020)

11. Social Media Basics for Parents
Snapchat and Sexting
Snapchat gained infamy/prominence as “the sexting app” because the temporary
availability of images sent through its messaging made it a (deceptively) safe and
convenient way to transmit such content.
The data and images communicated via snapchat are no less permanent than
anything posted to Facebook or Twitter; once something exists in the realm of the
internet, it can never be truly deleted.
Additional Concerns include:
• Gender Discrepancies in Social Responses to Sexting
• Ability of others to screenshot/use a third party device to capture images
• Revenge Porn
• Child Pornography Laws/Prosecutions
• Sextortion/Manipulation by Partners to send sexual pictures/content

12. Social Media Basics for Parents
Restrictive mediation of teen media use is not only ineffective, but
increases the likelihood that teens will engage in parentally
forbidden behaviors.
Assume that these behaviors will occur and openly discuss the
potential consequences with your child in an environment where
honesty is not punished.
Ask questions to understand, not to judge.

13. Social Media Basics for Parents
Teens are more likely to abide by guidelines when they feel they have
the autonomy to make decisions for themselves. By presenting
concerns as “Here’s what I want you to know about x” rather than
“Thou shalt not…”, teens feel the responsibility of being accountable
for their own decisions; decisions best informed by education that
meets them where they are at.
Resources such as Thatsnotcool.com do a good job of speaking about
these topics to students without talking down to them.
coolnotcoolquiz.org

14. Social Media Basics for Parents
Tik Tok is the spiritual successor to the formerly popular
“Vine” app and a rebrand of the popular lip-
synching/dancing video-app “Musically”
https://youtu.be/ou3U-aG-ECs
Users can either lip-sync/act along with existing “sounds”
(audio ripped from songs, tv/movies, podcats, and viral
videos) or produce their own audio.
Many users will add text or captions to their videos as a way
to re-interpret the original meaning of the sound.
Use: 48% (18-29
demographic)
Favorite
platform: 29%
(2020)

15. Social Media Basics for Parents
Tik Tok encapsulates many of the privacy and content
concerns seen with the other platforms we’ve discussed,
with an added emphasis on aspirational fame being
attainable to users through content creation.
While there’s no easy fix for a generation of children aspiring
to grow up to be “influencers”, Tik Tok does have parenting
tools that allow for time limits, content restriction, and
shared accounts between parents and children.
As with most parental control fixtures however, there are
always ways for users to circumvent them.
Use: 48% (18-29
demographic)
Favorite
platform: 29%
(2020)

16. Parenting Styles
Authoritative: High on strictness/supervision, high on acceptance/involvement
Indulgent: Low on strictness/supervision, high on acceptance/involvement
Authoritarian: High on strictness/supervision, low on acceptance/involvement
Neglectful: Low on strictness/supervision, low on acceptance/involvement
Martinez et al, 2019

17. Parenting Styles (con.)
Authoritative v. Authoritarian Parenting:
How is parental power exercised and communicated?
Swiftly and firmly, without discussion; “Because I said so!”
Firmly, with thorough explanation of rules and feelings
“Because X & Y”

18. Parenting Styles (con.)
Additional Notes on Authoritative Parenting:
• Authoritative parenting is not “negotiating,” but it does involve a dialogue
that allows for children and their feelings to be heard.
• The authoritative parent does not cede power, but uses it to allow for the
expression and validation of a child’s thoughts and opinions, even when
those opinions are overruled.
• The urge to “not have to rationalize” is strong, but showing the logic behind
parental decisions in rulemaking and discipline is shown to offer better
outcomes.

19. Let’s Predict:
What effect will each of these parenting styles have on the
likelihood of children being cyberbullied or perpetrating
cyberbullying?

20. Parenting Styles & Bullying
A 2019 study of 1,020 students in Spain found that indulgent parenting was
most protective against both traditional and cyberbullying victimization.
Conversely, authoritarian parenting was associated with significantly higher
levels of traditional and cyberbullying victimization.
Both authoritative and indulgent parenting were found to be preventative of
disruptive bullying behaviors.
Children whose parents used Authoritative or indulgent parenting styles were
found to have higher academic, physical, and social self-esteem.
Martinez et al, 2019

21. Parental Mediation Types
Restrictive Mediation involves articulating rules about media use:
amount of time, time of day, types of content, etc.
Active Mediation involves using comments/conversations to discuss
and evaluate media content together.

22. Parental Mediation Styles
Autonomy-supportive restrictive mediation offers explanations for rules and
acknowledges teens’ opinions; often received positively, even when restrictive.
The goal of autonomy supporting mediation is to create scenarios where
children understand and process the logic behind parental rules about media
and are more likely to follow those rules even in their parents’ absence.
Autonomy-supportive active mediation consists of parent-child discussions
about media content where the opinion of the child is respected and responded
to honestly. There isn’t a formal establishment of rules, but open
communication about the dangers or pratfalls of media.

23. Parental Mediation Styles
Controlling mediation demands compliance and shows little interest in teens’
opinions. “Because I said so” is a hallmark of controlling mediation, which often
fosters resentment among teens and emboldens further negative behaviors.
Inconsistent mediation is often restrictive, but ineffective or constantly
questioned because rules are arbitrarily enforced or not enforced. Resentment is
common among teens whose parents are inconsistent in their mediation.
Inconsistent parental mediation was significantly correlated to online relational
aggression in a 2019 study of 814 American adolescents. – Martins et al, 2019

24. Parental Mediation Types
Autonomy-Supportive and Restrictive Mediation: Significantly linked
to prosocial behaviors such as providing emotional support for
others, reporting cyberbullying, and consumption of educational
media content.
Autonomy-Supportive and Active Mediation: Linked to decrease in
antisocial behaviors and content consumption and increase in
prosocial behaviors and content consumption

25. Data-Pessimism &
Parenthood
Adapted from “Sharenthood” by Leah A. Plinkett
Before/After Tommy is born:
• Tommy’s mom uses a fertility app and bracelet.
• Tommy’s parents announce their pregnancy on Facebook.
Tommy’s parents:
• Share his first ultrasound picture using the “Friends of friends” privacy setting.
• Post first picture as a newborn (possibly a birthing video as well!)
• Post videos/pictures of his first bath to a cloud-based media storage
• Monitor his crib via webcam and connected phone app.
• Use a “smart-sock” to monitor his breathing/sleeping.
• Install an AI Baby monitor.
• Share information about Baby Tommy’s activities, likes/dislikes

26. Data-Pessimism &
Parenthood
Adapted from “Sharenthood” by Leah A. Plinkett
Tommy’s early childhood:
• Tommy’s smart Elmo doll knows his name and helps him learn, tracking his progress
in various subjects.
• Tommy learns to use his own Amazon Echo dot, requesting songs, tv shows, and
asking questions about the weather.
• Tommy’s parents receive minute-to-minute updates on his behavior and academic
progress from his daycare provider via smart phone app.
• Tommy carries a GPS-enabled teddy bear in his backpack so that his parents can track
his location at all times in case of an emergency.
• Tommy is toilet-trained using the iPotty, a combination training potty and iPad stand.

27. Data-Pessimism &
Parenthood
Adapted from “Sharenthood” by Leah A. Plinkett
Tommy in Primary/Secondary Education
• Tommy’s parents sign a waiver for the use of his information by third parties for the
educational apps his school uses. They do not read the fine print.
• Tommy’s attendance is tracked on a third-party app, as are his health records from
the school nurse.
• Tommy starts a YouTube channel at the age of 15 and posts a variety of juvenile and
gross-out prank videos.
• Irritated by Tommy’s misbehavior, his mom posts a call for help on Facebook using
hashtags and “@-ing” a popular parenting influencer.
• When Tommy is arrested for petty theft, the arresting officer snaps a picture of him
for the department Facebook page as a lesson to other would-be juvenile
delinquents. Now, the worst memory and mistake of Tommy’s young life is
immortalized forever online for all potential employers to see.

28. Data-Pessimism &
Parenthood
Adapted from “Sharenthood” by Leah A. Plinkett
In this hypothetical, how much control did Tommy have over the
amount of his personal data that was shared with thousands of
people?
Did Tommy’s parents intend to put his information and privacy at risk?
What does this story seem to imply about the relationship between
children and data?

29. Data-Pessimism &
Parenthood
Adapted from “Sharenthood” by Leah A. Plinkett
Silver Linings!
•Social Media can be a source for support and education!
•Digital Footprints have positive aspects as well in terms of
showcasing hobbies, awards, and interests; political rants
notwithstanding.
•Ed Tech can be a source for equity in schooling.
•Digital Literacy and Digital skills are necessary to participate
in culture and the economy– whether we like it or not, there
is no going back to before the internet.

30. Data-Pessimism &
Parenthood
Adapted from “Sharenthood” by Leah A. Plinkett
The Scary Stuff
• Pornography
• “Frankenstein” Images
• Innocuous Pictures
• Identity Theft
• Stalking
• Trolling/Targeted Cyber-harassment

31. Data-Pessimism &
Parenthood
Adapted from “Sharenthood” by Leah A. Plinkett
The Less Scary, but still Uncomfortable Stuff
• Data Brokers: Data usage is generally opt out, not opt in.
• The Consumer Credit industry is looking for ways to use social media
behaviors in scoring.
• No laws in place to prevent employers and colleges from
discriminating based on social media content and easily available
data.
• Sense of self: Eroded by performative social media?

32. Data-Pessimism &
Parenthood
Adapted from “Sharenthood” by Leah A. Plinkett
Complicating Factors in Protecting Children Online
•Data policy is complicated and riddled with loopholes.
•Protectionism sometimes replaces learning opportunities
with punishment and surveillance.
•Children are engaging in digital labor when they use online
media.

33. Thoughts on “The Datafied Child”
“Children come to be understood and portrayed via the algorithmic
knowledge that such [data] practices generate about them…rendering
children’s behaviors, qualities and bodies into digital data and relying
principally on these data when making important assessments, judgments,
or inferences about them, which may delimit what can be known about
them and how they might be treated as a result.”
“They become ‘calculable persons’ who are the subject of calculations
performed by others (and by other digital things) but are enabled to think
about, calculate about, predict and judge their own activities and those as
others.”
Lupton and Williamson (2017)

34. The Tough Question:
To snoop or not to snoop?
Should parents access their children's’ devices without their
consent/awareness?
Is it better to prioritize autonomy and growth or security?
What are the possible outcomes of either choice?

35. References
https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2021/04/07/social-media-
use-in-2021/
https://www.statista.com/statistics/250172/social-network-usage-of-us-teens-
and-young-adults/