This document discusses relational aggression, also known as covert or covert bullying, which is a type of aggression that harms relationships or social status. It notes that girls internalize meanness more than boys and relational aggression can have long lasting effects. Some types of relational aggression are social exclusion, spreading rumors, and using demeaning gestures. The effects on victims can include hurt feelings, low self-esteem, inability to focus, and isolation. Potential resolutions discussed include having students reflect on and create metaphors to describe incidents of meanness.

1. Relational
Aggression
GIRL-ON-GIRL
AGGRESSION

3.  Girls and boys can both be mean but girls internalize
it more and ruminate on it
 Girls are mean to each other for trivial reasons
 The effects can be long lasting into adulthood
 Girls are good at hiding their aggressive behavior
they know which teachers are tuned in
 Relational aggression can include cyber bullying
 It is our responsibility to maintain a safe
environment
 Relational aggression is COVERT and is everywhere
ODDS AND ENDS

4. Relational aggression, also known as
covert aggression, or covert bullying is a
type of aggression in which harm is
caused through damage to one‟s
relationships or social status.
(Wikipedia, 2012)
RELATIONAL AGGRESSION DEFINITION

5. Relationship Manipulation
Subtle and behind one‟s back
Social Exclusion
Being left out
Reputation Attacking
Spreading rumors – especially on-line
Using Demeaning Gestures
Rolling eyes and dirty looks
(Fraser-Thill, 2012)
TYPES OF RELATIONAL AGGRESSION

6. Painful hurt feelings
Low self-esteem
Unable to focus
Lack of motivation
Isolation
Anger
Retribution and revenge
Self injury
Poor academics
Time out of class in guidance or office
EFFECTS

7. Cultural Causes of Bullying
Violence is acceptable (WWF)
Institutional Causes
Place doesn‟t have high standards for anti-bullying
Social Issues
Recognition for negative behaviors
Family Issues
Discipline at home is inconsistent or over the top
The Bully's Personal History
Past experience of social rejection or academic failure
Having Power
Want to wield it and show off the power
Provocative Victims
UNDERLYING REASONS
("WHY DO PEOPLE," 2009)

8.  Change in friends
 Drop in grades
 Sad look
 Late to class
 Last one to leave class
 Preoccupied
 Change in appearance
 Long sleeves in hot weather (cutting)
 Weight loss
 Absenteeism
SIGNS TO WATCH FOR

9. Dr. Erin Willer
 Dr. Erin Willer In her seminar Helping Girls Cope and
Communicate About Social Aggression Dr. Willer
presents a three step exercise
 Dr. Willer is an assistant professor at the University
of Denver
 Former high school English and speech teacher
 Research focuses on how females manage social
aggression
(Willer, 2009)
POSSIBLE RESOLUTIONS

10. Ask student to recall an incidence of
meanness
Give them the opportunity to talk or write
about it
Instead of “ruminating” or gut churning about
it this gives language to thoughts and
emotions
Reflection helps to make sense out of life‟s
events
STEP ONE – REFLECT ON MEANNESS

11. Draw a metaphor for the meanness
This puts the focus on the problem and not
the person
An example of a metaphor for love might be a
warm blanket
An example of a metaphor for kindness might
be a cat licking her kitten
An example of meanness might be a cat
scratching the couch when the couch didn‟t do
anything to the cat
STEP TWO – CREATE METAPHORS

12.  Have the student draw a redemption metaphor
 Focus on the good that can come out of it
 Normal to feel bad when girls are mean but try to
find the good
 An example might be moving to a new town is hard
but a new home with a big bedroom would be great
 A student example was a drawing of two peas in a
pod
 Engaging in telling the story and drawing metaphors
helps students make sense of the situation
STEP THREE – POSITIVE METAPHOR

13.  This three step process is but one possible course of
action
 Communication and a sense of connection to others
can go a long way in tamping down RA
 Be aware that RA is happening in our school, but to
see it you have to look for it
CONFLICT RESOLUTION

14.  The Ophelia Project
http://www.opheliaproject.org/main/ra_faq.htm
 Do Something
http://www.dosomething.org
 Why are those girls so mean?
http://www.greatschools.org/parenting/bullying/596-why-are-
those-girls-so-mean.gs
 Inside The School
http://www.insidetheschool.com/
 A Way Through
http://www.awaythrough.com/educators.htm
ON-LINE RESOURCES

15.  Relational Aggression in Girls by Jamie Kupkovits
 Mean Girls: 101 1/2 Creative Strategies for Working With
Relational Aggression by Kaye Randall, LISW-CP & Allyson A.
Bowen, LISW-CP and Susan Bowman
 „‟Odd Girl Out‟‟ by R. Simmons
 ‟Queen Bees and Wannabes‟‟ by R. Wiseman
SUGGESTED READING

16.  DeBruyn, R. L., & Larson, J. L. (2009). You can handle them all. (2nd ed.).
Manhattan, Ka: The Master Teacher.
 Fraser-Thill, R. (2012). Social aggression forms of social aggression.
Retrieved
fromhttp://tweenparenting.about.com/od/behaviordiscipline/a/Social-
Aggression.htm
 Why do people bully?. (2009). Retrieved from
http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/why -do-people-bully.html
 Wikipedia. (2012, August 05). Relational aggression. Retrieved from
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relational_aggression
 Willer, E. (2009, October 26). How to help students cope with girl on girl
aggression. Retrieved from http://www.insidetheschool.com/free-
reports/how-to-help-students-cope-with-girl-on-girl-aggression
(hanging indent intended)
REFERENCES