This document discusses principles for raising children according to Islamic teachings. It emphasizes connecting children to Allah and the Prophet Muhammad through fulfilling religious obligations and instilling good character. It encourages focusing on achieving beneficial goals rather than outward appearances, cooperating rather than competing, contributing value to others rather than consuming, and sharing abundance rather than being stingy. The document provides advice for applying these principles, such as encouraging cooperation at home, limiting screen time, tracking charity, and sharing knowledge freely. It frames parenting as writing a "script" for children and stresses the importance of conscious changes to enable the script through actions like one's own example and helping children access role models and experiences.

1. Challenges & Solutions

3. For decision making

4. Our actions define us
Hujuraat 49: 13. O mankind! We have created
you from a male and a female, and made you into
nations and tribes, that you may know one
another. Verily, the most honourable of you with
Allah is the one who has the greatest Taqwa [the
concern to please Allah].
Verily, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware.
The best one is the one whose actions are best

6. Criterion for the Best
A’al Imraan 3:110 You are the best of people
selected for the benefit of the people
The Prophet‫ﷺ‬ said, “The best of people is
the one who is the most beneficial to the
people.”

7. Spread Peace
The Prophet‫ﷺ‬ said: O! you people, spread
peace, feed people, be kind to your
relatives and pray at night when others
are asleep, and you will enter Jannah
(Paradise) safely. [Tirmidi, Ibn Majah]
Because only actions deliver results

8. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
 “Cowardice asks the question - Is it safe?
Expediency asks the question - Is it politic?
Vanity asks the question - Is it popular? But
conscience asks the question - Is it right?
 And there comes a time when one must take
a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor
popular…..
But one must take it because it is right.

9. Because values drive behavior
And behavior drives results

10. Based on two principles:
1. Responsibility for what you hold in trust
2. Accountability to One from whom
nothing is hidden
 Our global problems today are not due to
lack of resources but lack of accountability
Basis of Islamic education
The cure for that is faith

11.  Accepting responsibility for others, adds
value to us. After all that is what we seek all
through our careers
 Enables us to rise above our base desires and
invokes the best in us
 Is the only way we have to leave a legacy of
honor
Responsibility
It takes courage to accept responsibility

12. 1. To the One who we represent – and
to Whom is our return
2. To the One who will reward those
who fulfill their duty
3. To the One from Whom nothing is
hidden
Accountability
WiiFM is a station everyone listens to

13. Children are an investment
Abu Hurairah narrated:
Rasoolullah said, “When a man dies,
his good deeds come to an end except
three: ongoing charity, beneficial
knowledge, and righteous offspring
who will pray for him.” (Muslim)
What are your metrics for your investment?

14. Exercise
 Think of your role model – someone you
know personally
 For how many of you is it a parent?
 If your children were here and I asked them
this question, would they be thinking of you?
You are a role model anyway
But you can decide what kind

15. Children listen with
their eyes
They don’t care what you say
until they see what you do

16. Our Beings
1. Are not our bodies alone but perhaps
more importantly our spirits
2. Our spirit needs nourishment and
sustenance like our body does
3. Education must address both aspects
What do we want to achieve and what
are our metrics to measure success?

17. Do you say?
‘I will never allow my children to face
the hardship that I had to go through.’
Instead, say, “I will never allow my
children to build resilience, character,
and strength. I will never allow them to
have the power that I have to succeed.”
Only adversity builds strength

19. Don’t confuse
Parents must remember that their
children can have many friends but they
have only two parents.
Parents have been assigned the role of
parenting. Every other role is optional.
Parenting with being friendly

20. Exercise
What boundaries do you set for your
children and why?
How do they help and how do you
know that they are helping?
Please discuss and report out about
changes you need to make.
Please work in groups of eight (8)

21. Integrated teaching

22. ِ‫ت‬ْ‫اخ‬َ‫و‬ ِ‫ض‬ْ‫َر‬‫أل‬‫ا‬َ‫و‬ ِ‫ات‬َ‫او‬َ‫م‬َّ‫الس‬ ِ‫ق‬ْ‫ل‬َ‫خ‬ ِ‫ِف‬ َّ‫ن‬ِ‫إ‬َ‫آلي‬ ِ‫ر‬‫ا‬َ‫َّه‬‫الن‬َ‫و‬ ِ‫ل‬ْ‫ي‬َّ‫ل‬‫ال‬ ِ‫ف‬َ‫ال‬ٍ‫ات‬
ِ‫اب‬َ‫ب‬ْ‫ل‬‫األ‬ ِ‫ِل‬ْ‫ُو‬ِِ‫أل‬
َ‫و‬ ‫ا‬ً‫ود‬ُ‫ع‬ُ‫ق‬َ‫و‬ ‫ا‬ً‫ام‬َ‫ي‬ِ‫ق‬ َِ‫اّلل‬ َ‫ن‬‫و‬ُ‫ر‬ُ‫ك‬ْ‫ذ‬َ‫ي‬ َ‫ين‬ِ‫ذ‬َّ‫ل‬‫ا‬ُ‫ر‬َّ‫ك‬َ‫ف‬َ‫ت‬َ‫ي‬َ‫و‬ ْ‫م‬ِِ‫وِب‬ُ‫ن‬ُ‫ج‬ َ‫ى‬َ‫ل‬َ‫ع‬ِ‫ِف‬ َ‫ن‬‫و‬
ْ‫ق‬َ‫ل‬َ‫خ‬ ‫ا‬َ‫م‬ ‫ا‬َ‫ن‬َّ‫ب‬َ‫ر‬ ِ‫ض‬ْ‫َر‬‫أل‬‫ا‬َ‫و‬ ِ‫ات‬َ‫او‬َ‫م‬َّ‫الس‬ ِ‫ق‬ْ‫ل‬َ‫خ‬َ‫ك‬َ‫ن‬‫ا‬َ‫ح‬ْ‫ب‬ُ‫س‬ ً‫ال‬ِ‫اط‬َ‫ب‬ ‫ذا‬َ‫ه‬ َ‫ت‬
ِ‫ر‬‫َّا‬‫ن‬‫ال‬ َ‫اب‬َ‫ذ‬َ‫ع‬ ‫ا‬َ‫ن‬ِ‫ق‬َ‫ف‬
Qur’anic method
Allah said ‫ون‬ُ‫ر‬َّ‫ك‬َ‫ف‬َ‫ت‬َ‫ي‬َ‫و‬

23. Qur’anic method
A’al Imraan 3:190. Verily! In the creation of the heavens and the
earth, and in the alternation of night and day, there are indeed signs
for people of understanding.
191. Those who remember Allah (always, and in prayers) standing,
sitting, and lying down on their sides, AND think deeply about the
creation of the heavens and the earth, (saying):
“Our Rabb! You have not created (all) this without purpose, glory to
You! (Exalted are You above all that they associate with You as
partners). Give us salvation from the torment of the Fire.”
Allah used AND

24. Why this method?
 Islam recognizes that all knowledge is from
Allah‫ﷻ‬ and that the purpose of Islamic
education is to connect the people to
Allah‫.ﷻ‬
 So there’s no disconnect between Islam and
science and modern education
Provided it is taught holistically integrated

25. Project: Oceans
 Biology: Marine plants & animals
 Physics: Displacement floats ships
 Chemistry: Why is sea water salty?
 Geography: Navigation, Orienteering, sailing, Qibla
 History: Maritime history of nations, colonial domination, Muslim
Mariners
 Trade: Routes, goods, cultural & population change
 Tafseer: Qur’anic Ayaat relating to Oceans
 Fiqh: Mathaa’il related to sea water, food, travel etc.
 Hadith: Ahadith related to the sea
Living knowledge to be applied in context

26. Two Oceans
َ‫ع‬ ‫ا‬َ‫ذ‬َ‫ه‬ ِ‫ن‬ْ‫ي‬َ‫ر‬ْ‫ح‬َ‫ب‬ْ‫ل‬‫ا‬ َ‫ج‬َ‫ر‬َ‫م‬ ‫ي‬ِ‫ذ‬َّ‫ل‬‫ا‬ َ‫و‬ُ‫ه‬َ‫و‬ٌ‫ح‬ْ‫ل‬ِ‫م‬ ‫ا‬َ‫ذ‬َ‫ه‬َ‫و‬ ٌ‫ات‬َ‫ر‬ُ‫ف‬ ٌ‫ب‬ْ‫ذ‬
ِ‫ح‬َ‫و‬ ‫ا‬ً‫خ‬َ‫ز‬ْ‫ر‬َ‫ب‬ ‫ا‬َ‫م‬ُ‫ه‬َ‫ن‬ْ‫ي‬َ‫ب‬ َ‫ل‬َ‫ع‬َ‫ج‬َ‫و‬ ٌ‫اج‬َ‫ُج‬‫أ‬‫ا‬ً‫ور‬ُ‫ج‬َّْ‫َّم‬ ‫ا‬ً‫ر‬ْ‫ج‬
Furqan 25: 53. And it is He Who has let free the two seas (kinds
of water), one palatable and sweet, and the other salt and
bitter, and He has set a barrier and a complete partition
between them.
How does this happen and where?

27. Project: Mountains
 Geology: Isostacy of mountains: Stabilizing effect
 Geography: How mountains effect climate
 Biology: Mountain flora & fauna
 History: How mountains affected history of nations
 Tafsir: Ayaat related to mountains
 Seerah: Mountain of Uhud
 Hadith: Ahadith related to mountains
Draw lessons from all of these
to connect to Allah & Aakhira

29. Which you must answer

30. 3 - Questions
1. What’s your script for your child?
2. What changes are you willing to make
in yourself and your lifestyle to
enable that script?
3. What resources do you need to
accomplish your goal and what’s your
plan to get those resources?

31. Are you conscious about what you
wrote and what can you change?

32. Parents are the script writers
 Often this is unconscious and always colored by
parent’s prejudices, upbringing, and culture
 Children rarely escape their parent’s script and
write their own
 Those who have a winning script have a clear
advantage over those who have to break out of
a losing script and write their own
So what did you write for your child?

33. Exercise
Imagine that you are listening to the
farewell speech at your child’s
retirement function.
What would you like to hear?
Write an assessment about how
you are doing in this respect

34. And your lifestyle to enable that script?

35. Changes
• What do you need to start doing
that you don’t do today?Start
• What do you do today that you
need to stop doing?Stop
• What do you do today that you
must continue to do consciously?Continue

36. What’s your plan to get those
resources?

37. Resources
• What do you need in terms of
material, learning, experience etc?What?
• Who are the people you need to gain
the above? Name them.Who?
• How will you access them and how
will you convince them to help you?How?

38. 5 – Key Principles

39. 5 – Key Principles
1. Connections (Allah & Rasoolullah )
2. Doing not Being
3. Cooperation not Competition
4. Contribution not Consumption
5. Abundance n0t Stinginess
It’s all about tools

40. Connections
(Allah & Rasoolullah )
 Tazkiyyatun Nafs wa Tarbiyatul Akhlaq
 Huqooqullah wa Huqooqul Ibaad
 Humility and service orientation
 Thirst for knowledge
Connections are everything

41. How to do it?
 Fulfill all Fara’idh meticulously
 Earn and eat Halaal
 Pray Tahajjud daily and learn to make dua
 Focus on Nawaafil; Sunnah, Dhikr, Quran
 Follow the Sunnah
 Daily Muhasiba and make Tawba frequently
Because only action counts

42. Doing not Being
Inspire high aspirations
Focus on achievements
Don’t measure everything in money or
numbers – reward principled behavior
Praise achievement not only beauty
Only our actions define us

43. Reading – Biographies, history, literature
Meet high achievers especially in the area
of your children’s interest
Help them to experience life by doing
challenging assignments
Encourage sports – especially team games
How to do it?
Limit screens and ban at meals and bedtime

44. Cooperation not
Competition
Encourage cooperation at home
Change teaching and exams systems
Work on projects together but don’t do
their work
Measure achievement, understanding, application
Not random recall at a specific time

45. Don’t encourage sibling rivalry
Encourage children to share everything
Encourage them to ask good questions
Don’t give answers but let them find out
How to do it?
Property battles at age 40 being in
the nursery at age 2

46. Contribution not
Consumption
Possessions add cost not value
Use things and value people
Your character defines you, not your shirt
One day we will be called to account
We will be questioned about possessions and
rewarded for contribution

47.  Discourage shopping, collecting stuff and
adding possessions
 Encourage charity – give something to get
something
 Share stories of tough choices made to stand
by principles
 Encourage them to identify role models
How to do it?
Try to be one yourself

48. Abundance not Stinginess
Sharing increases knowledge
Sharing increases wealth
Sharing increases happiness
Sharing increases well-being
Show them that real and lasting happiness lies
in the smile of someone who had been crying

49. Teach agriculture – charity increases
wealth
Keep track of charity
Share all knowledge freely
Show them that what goes around comes
around
How to do it?
You have to give in order to receive

50. Nothing leaves the
Heavens until
something leaves
the earth.

51. Problem Solving tool

52. Force field Analysis
Inhibitors
Enablers
Goal

53. What to do?
Strengthen positive forces (Enablers)
Remove negative forces (Inhibitors)
Removing negative forces is more
important than strengthening positive
forces because there is an internal push
towards good in all of us

54. Exercise
Goals Enablers
1.
2.
3.
1.
2.
3.
Inhibitors
1.
2.
3.
1.
2.
3.
Each group pick one and report out

55. Our links
www.yawarbaig.com
www.youtube.com/yawarbaigassociates
www.youtube.com/myawarbaig
myawarbaig.tumblr.com
Twitter: @myawarbaig
55
Would love to hear from you