This family is suffering from a rare fictional disease called THIN (Threadlike Haggarding Intractible Narrowitis) that causes fatigue, constant hunger, brittle bones, and bodily shrinkage. THIN is hereditary but can sometimes skip children in a family. While it can be cured with healthy eating and exercise, those with THIN have an aversion to both. The family works hard jobs and begs to afford their unending hunger for junk food. They try desperately to feed their children healthy food to no avail. Help is needed by donating food and encouragement to help this family beat the disease.

1. Your help is needed…..
Save this afflicted mid-western family
from a horrible disease!

2. • This family is suffering from a horrible and
rare mid-western disease.
• It is called Threadlike Haggarding Intractible
Narrowitis or “THIN” Disease.
• This disease has a debilitating effect on the
host carriers.

3. Fatigue and Lethargy

4. An Insatiable Thirst for Soda

5. A Constant Need for Junk Food

6. Brittle Bones

7. Pica (eating non-food items)

8. Emaciation

9. And finally…Bodily Shrinkage

10. • This disease is not a contagious disease.
• This disease is rare in the mid-west area of the
North American continent.
• It does seem to be a hereditary trait, although it
can sometimes “miss” children in the same
family.
• This disease can be cured with a healthy diet and
regular weight training exercises, though it
appears this disease creates an aversion to both.
• Ingesting certain drugs can mimic this disease
process eg. Meth, Cocaine, etc.

11. • This family has had to work hard to mask their
disease. They tell people they are “fine”. That
they “just have fast metabolisms”.
• Denial is a very common mental condition
associated with this disease.

12. In the hopes of beating this disease in their children,
they try desperately to make them eat healthy
foods…all to no avail however.

13. The family does odd jobs to monetarily sustain their
unending hunger for junk food, even while never
gaining any significant body weight!

14. The kids now have job descriptions on their
resumes as varied as…
Sidewalk Artist

15. House keeper

16. Gardener

17. Window washer

18. Lifeguard

19. Dishwasher

20. …and Laundry Attendant

21. When work is scarce, they must resort to dressing the kids up as
immigrants and sitting them in front of Home Depot to get jobs!

22. If that fails, they aren’t to proud to beg…they started
the kids out young; to give them a fighting chance!

23. During the summer, they try to hunt
and forage for healthy alternatives.

24. When they run out of bait, they
improvise.

25. Sometimes you can find them out and
about…luring helpless animals to the slaughter.

26. In times of desperation, they rent the baby out
to sad childless women.

27. When needed, they will fight in underground
“gladiator-like” games, all in the hopes of winning some
cake to feed their young.

28. They have had to put the children in concentration-
like camps to keep them from gnawing on the house,
numbering them with tattoos to keep track of them.

29. The children keep up a brave front…

30. …but they struggle to keep it together.

31. The adults are wasting away to
nothing

32. We need our communities help…
• If you see this family out, PLEASE, give them as
much healthy food as you can spare.
• It’s important to hand the food to them, don’t try
to put it directly into their mouths as this can be
very dangerous, you could lose a finger!
• Give encouragement to each member of this
family, this will help with their digestion of the
healthy food donations.
• If you see them at fast food establishments eating
junk food, please remind them of their condition
and guide them to a healthier alternative.

33. Thank You, in advance, for any help
you provide.
Disclaimer:
• THIN disease and all of its symptoms and cures
have not been tested or approved by the ADA, FDA,
NRA, MMA, or CIA. It is a fictional disease that has been
adopted by the Helmick Corporation in an effort to get back at
one sister for cruel and unusual crimes against another sister.
• If you believe you have any symptoms associated with THIN disease please
contact a specialist immediately for assessment and treatment.
• If you cannot find a specialist, one will be appointed to you by a court of law.
• There have been no studies, trials, or taste tests that have definitively proven that healthy food is a cure for being THIN.
• It has been proven however that THIN people are more cranky and mean then regular sized mid-westerners. Just ask!
• While I'm at it Na Na Na boo boo wear a pink tutu!