Uploaded byHelen Oakwater
National Child Welfare Conference Finland Keynote speech
The document discusses the impact of truth-telling on a child's life journey, focusing on the experiences of a traumatized infant named Tim. It emphasizes the importance of coherent narratives that align with children's sensory experiences to help them overcome feelings of worthlessness and fear stemming from neglect. The work advocates for truthful and age-appropriate storytelling to foster healing and stability in children who have faced trauma.
National Child Welfare Conference Finland Keynote speech
- 1. 1 Does lack oftruth telling destabilise a child's life journey? Helen Oakwater Onko puute totuuden kertomista horjuttaa lapsen elämään matkaa? National Child Welfare Conference Look at me – dignified childhood! Jyväskylä, Finland : 27 Syyskuu 2016 @HelenOakwater
- 2. Baby Tim lyingin a cot Traumatised Infant Maltreated Traumatised Infant Pahoinpitelyn
- 3. TIM in cot SEE Darkness HEAR Shouting& slamming doors TASTE Milk & vomit SMELL Sour milk & excrement TOUCH Nappy rash FEEL Hungry & cold
- 4. 4 Age 0 5 201015 Timeline 1 : No interventions Aikajana: Ei interventiot
- 5. TIM sensory experience SEE Darkness HEAR Shouting& slamming doors TASTE Milk & vomit SMELL Sour milk & excrement TOUCH Nappy rash FEEL Hungry & cold
- 6. The Infant Perspective ONEPIECE OF METAPHORICAL “SENSORY SHRAPNEL” Yksi pala metaforinen "aistien sirpaleet” One incident of NEGLECT Stored in implicit memory & sensory database.
- 7.
- 8. “Our little secret” DifferentMaltreatments Assorted Shrapnel
- 9.
- 10. 10 Age 0 5 201015 Timeline 2: with birth family Different Maltreatments What behaviour would you see? Mitä käyttäytyminen olisi näet? what do adults tell him? Mitä aikuiset kertoa hänelle? Beliefs?
- 11. Hopeless Toivoton Helpless Avuton Iminä olen paha poika Iam a bad boy Beliefs and sense of self? Worthless Arvoton
- 12. 12 Age 0 5 201015 Timeline 3: With poorly trained Foster Carer How does Foster carer react? Miten Foster hoitaja reagoi?
- 13. 13 Age 0 5 201015 Timeline 4: With well trained Foster carer - dark night How does Foster carer react? Miten Foster hoitaja reagoi?
- 14. No therapy orreframing Shrapnel still inside Tim I am a bad boy Iminä olen paha poika
- 15. I am notsafe I’m scared I am not cared for I am unlovable I’m ignored I’m not valued I’m bad It’s a terrifying hostile world People hurt you Dangerous place There is no place for me I am not important The world is not okay POOR ATTACHMENT BETWEEN CHILD AND OTHERS I’m alone - Child’s View of Self and World
- 16. What story isTim told? Mikä tarina Tim kerrottu? “The house was a bit messy” “Talo oli hieman sotkuinen”
- 17.
- 18. 18 “The house wasa bit messy” “Talo oli hieman sotkuinen” They slept on mattresses soaked with urine, covered with filthy bedding, wading through mouldy rubbish ankle- deep to get through the front door and off to school. Ne nukkui patjat kastettu virtsaan, peitetty saastaisia vuodevaatteet, kahlaa homehtunut roskat nilkka-syvä päästä etuovesta ja pois kouluun.
- 19. “The house wasa bit messy” “Talo oli hieman sotkuinen” Frequently MISMATCH between sensory life experiences and story child is told
- 20. 20 Confusing MISMATCH oflanguage “The house was a bit messy” “Talo oli hieman sotkuinen” inhottava kurjuudessa vs. puhdas epäsiisti disgusting squalor vs. clean untidy
- 21. Frequently MISMATCH betweensensory life experiences and saccharine life story “The body keeps the score” BESSEL VAN DER KOLK “Languaging” “Kieli”
- 22. “The house wasa bit messy” “Talo oli hieman sotkuinen” Child needs truthful life story which matches his sensory experiences full of rubbish, flies, rotting food and blocked toilet täynnä roskaa, lentää, mätää ruokaa ja tukossa wc X XX
- 23. Jigsaw of Truth:Metaphor Heaps of sensory memories ??
- 24. 100% Truth Telling Jigsaw ofTruth: True Picture Heaps of sensory memories in an age appropriate way Claude Monet: La Terrace de Sante Adresse
- 25. 25 pieces: outlining of story Aged6 Jigsaw of Truth: Heaps of sensory memories 100% Truth Telling in an age appropriate way Flag Boat Umbrella Clouds Sea
- 26. 100-400 pieces: significant details shared Aged 9 -13 Jigsaw of Truth: Heaps of sensory memories 100% Truth Telling in an age appropriate way Flag Boat Umbrella Clouds Sea + + +
- 27. 1000 pieces: the entire detailed story By 18- 21 Jigsaw of Truth: Heaps of sensory memories Jigsaw of Truth: Heaps of sensory memories 100% Truth Telling in an age appropriate way Flag Boat Umbrella Clouds Sea + + + + ++++++
- 28. Jigsaw of Truth: createsa coherent narrative ??
- 29. Coherent Narrative =truthful life story which matches sensory experiences Johdonmukainen Narratiivinen = todenmukainen elämäntarina, joka vastaa aistikokemuksia
- 30. Coherent narrative allowschild to trust their bodily sensations “The body keeps the score” BESSEL VAN DER KOLK FEEL SAFE INSIDE THE BODY Johdonmukainen kerronta mahdollistaa lapsen luottamaan kehon tuntemuksia
- 31. 31 Age 0 5 201015 Reframe neglect (laiminlyönti) so thats why I feel scared when I'm hungry and like fart smells
- 32.
- 33. 33 Age 0 5 201015 Reframe removal episode it was not my fault he was drunk and wrong I was rescued I am important I am a good boy
- 34. 1000 - 199 801pieces because gaps and blocks in the story Jigsaw of Truth: Heaps of sensory memories Jigsaw of Truth: Will have gaps Heaps of sensory memories 100% Truth Telling in an age appropriate way Flag Boat Umbrella Clouds Sea + + + + ++++++
- 35. 35 Age 0 5 201015 Reframe: deeper understanding with age Reframe: syvempää ymmärrystä iän wash me & clothes keeping clean is nice alcohol can be harmful eat regularly
- 36. Avoid False NegativeBeliefs through a Coherent Narrative “Knowledge is only a rumour until its in the muscle” Judy DeLozier Head, heart and gut understanding Intrinsic truth Photos Evidence & indisputable material Information, data, words saccharine life story book
- 37. Birth Parent Perspective Now, then & their issues What was/is going on for them? Now? Then?
- 38. Empowering Reframing MULTIPLE FRESHPERSPECTIVES utilising extra knowledge, resources, new learnings and age appropriate wisdom shrapnel removal healing pervasive shame
- 39. I am safe Iam loved I am cared for I am valued I can trust adults I’m special I’m okay It’s a safe place People love me People care for me There is a place for me here I am important to them The world is okay + Child’s View of Self and World
- 40. Future Proofing: tostabilise their life journey children need Coherent narrative Consistency: no surprises 100% truth telling age appropriate A(his)story which does not conflict with their sensory memories (i.e. matches) Knowing deep inside it was not their fault Help and support to understand, process and reframe their past
- 41. Trauma Triggered Behaviour? Observedbehaviour? Internal World? THEN NOW
- 42. 42 minä olen paha poika Iam a bad boy Minä olen hyvä poika I am a good boy Imagine behaviour, outcomes and life path for each Kuvittele käytös, tuloksia ja elämänpolkuasi jokaisen
- 43.
- 44. FREE RESOURCES -articles, links, podcasts, videos LEARNING PLATFORM & TOOLS ONLINE TRAINING - various audiences FUTURE-PROOFING - evidence & thinking REAL and honest EXPERTS in various fields (coaching, leadership, communication skills, trauma, etc) LEADING LEARNER principles @HelenOakwater www.FABParents.co.uk helen@helenoakwater.com
- 45. • Coach, Author,Trainer • Adoptive Parent • Siblings aged 2,4,5 now 25+ • Teacher (11-18: PE & maths) • NLP & mBIT Coach & Trainer • Post Grad Attachment & Adoption (Family Futures) • Government Task Force 45 Helen Oakwater www.FABparents.co.uk @helenoakwater https://www.amazon.de/Bubble-Wrapped-Children-Networking-Transforming/dp/1780920970 http://www.bookdepository.com/Bubble-Wrapped-Children---How-Social-Networking-is-Transforming- the-Face-of-21st-Century-Adoption-Helen-Oakwater/9781780920979 helen@helenoakwater.com
- 46. 46 Does lack oftruth telling destabilise a child's life journey? Helen Oakwater Onko puute totuuden kertomista horjuttaa lapsen elämään matkaa? National Child Welfare Conference Look at me – dignified childhood! Jyväskylä, Finland : 27 Syyskuu 2016 @HelenOakwater