This document discusses strategic questioning techniques for mediators and negotiators. It defines different types of questions like open-ended, closed-ended, elaboration, clarification, and hypothetical questions. It explains the purpose and goals of each question type and provides examples. Key factors in asking effective questions are timing, tone, word choice, and who the question is directed to. Questions should be tailored based on the situation to gather information, test realities, facilitate understanding, or move discussions forward productively.

1. Strategic
Questioning
Asking the Right Question, in
the Right Way, at the Right Time
to the Right Person
2014 ACR Annual Conference
Cincinnati, Ohio
Presenter:
Nina Meierding MS, JD
Negotiation and Mediation Training Services
Bainbridge Island, Washington
www.mediate.com/ninameierding
nmeierding@gmail.com
No portion of these materials may be reprinted without the permission of Nina Meierding.
Copyright: Nina Meierding, Negotiation and Mediation Training Services, all rights
reserved, 2014

2. Copyright: Nina Meierding, Negotiation and Mediation Training Services, all rights reserved, 2014.
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3. Copyright: Nina Meierding, Negotiation and Mediation Training Services, all rights reserved, 2014.
2
How We Ask Questions
Words
(content)
Tone and Inflection
(pitch, pacing, speed, directness/indirectness)
Body Language
(mirroring or disengaging)
Who Says It and Who Receives It
Watch for reactive devaluation
Reactive devaluation is the tendency for a person to dismiss or devalue
the content of the message based on their negative feelings about the person
delivering the question/message.
Will especially impact who should ask and who should receive the
question.
Watch for filtering
The intended message may not be the received message. People hear
what they want to hear, they need to hear or what they fear to hear.
Will especially impact how and when the question is asked
Watch for ownership
If there is more than one listener, does one person feel singled out if the
question is directed to them? Does the other person feel left out if the question
was not directed to them?
Will especially impact to whom the question is directed to.

4. Copyright: Nina Meierding, Negotiation and Mediation Training Services, all rights reserved, 2014.
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Definitions
Macro and Micro Questions
Macro questions
 Overarching
 General
 Broad
 “How has this accident impacted your life?”
Micro questions
 Specific
 Narrow
 Focused
 “Where were you injured?”
Manageable Questions and Unmanageable Questions
Manageable Questions
 Prepares the listener to answer
 Prepares the listener for further questions
 Usually easy to get agreement or a positive answer
 “Is it your goal to have a durable agreement?”
Unmanageable Questions
 Cause difficulty
 Create resistance, defensiveness and/or anger
 “Don’t you think we have talked about this enough?”
 “Why are you so resistant to the settlement?”
Notes:
Copyright: Chip Rose, Mediation Center and Nina Meierding, Negotiation and Mediation Training
2010, all rights reserved

5. Copyright: Nina Meierding, Negotiation and Mediation Training Services, all rights reserved, 2014.
4
What We Say
Open-ended questions
What is the goal? Establish rapport between the parties or with the
mediator? Share information between the parties? Provide information to the
mediator? Provide opportunity for expansive answers by a reluctant party? Give
“floor time” to a party who has been overpowered by an aggressive party?
Change the tempo of the conversation?
How is it phrased? Frame a question so that a narrative answer is
called for rather than a simple "yes" or "no."
Mediator/Negotiator: "How this situation impacted your life?”
Closed-ended questions
What is the goal? Anticipation of a specific answer? Confirming
knowledge? Reality testing? Changing tempo of the conversation? Directing the
course of the conversation? Gain commitment by a party?
How is it phrased? Framed in a specific and narrow way, so that the
answer is short or requires a “yes” or “no response.
Mediator/Negotiator: “What is your date of the incident?”
“Was someone else present?”
“Have you filed a formal action?”

6. Copyright: Nina Meierding, Negotiation and Mediation Training Services, all rights reserved, 2014.
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Elaboration questions
What is the goal? Confirm that both parties have the same information?
Provide new information to the mediator? Serve as a reality-testing device for
the speaking or listening party? Serve as a follow-up question? Give “floor time”
to a party?
How is it phrased? Framed so that the party expands on previous
statement.
Party: "I am willing to help her out financially for awhile."
Mediator/Negotiator: "Tell me, what does that look like?”
Clarification questions
What is the goal? Verification of information previously shared between
the parties? Follow up to previous question? Assessment of level of knowledge
of one or both parties? Changing tempo from open-ended questions? Begin the
transition from one party to the other party?
How is it phrased? Similar to elaboration; however, usually framed to
seek more specific clarifying detail as a follow up to a previous statement. Not as
narrow as a close ended question.
Party: "I will agree to pay for any costs related to medical expenses.”
Mediator/Negotiator: “Which specific bills and what time frame are you
committing to?”

7. Copyright: Nina Meierding, Negotiation and Mediation Training Services, all rights reserved, 2014.
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Confirmation Questions
What is the goal? Summarizes and seeks to confirm mediator’s
understanding? Links several statements into one confirmation? Seeking
commitment by a party?
How is it phrased? Framed as to achieve verification of a party’s
previous statement.
Party: “I will agree to pay for lost wages.”
Mediator/Negotiator: "Are you agreeing to pay the $5,000.00 of lost wages
asked for by George?”
Reflective, active listening or reframing questions
What is the goal? Establish rapport between the parties? Establish
rapport with the mediator? Provide validation, recognition or empathy?
Reframing for the listening party? Detoxifying a statement? Summarizing or
paraphrasing a party’s statements?
How is it phrased? Framed so that the party feels heard and validated.
Party: “My employer has known me for over ten years, I can’t believe he
would need this agreement in writing!”
Mediator/Negotiator: "You are angry because you believe there is a lack
of trust?"

8. Copyright: Nina Meierding, Negotiation and Mediation Training Services, all rights reserved, 2014.
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Confrontational Questions
What is the goal? Utilize reality testing if a party has discrepancies,
distortions, or unrealistic expectations in their statements? Provide a power
balance between the parties?
How is it phrased? Framed to question possible validity, veracity, or
appropriateness of party’s previous statement.
Employee: “My boss had no reason to fire me. What I do during my
break time is entirely up to me.”
Mediator/Negotiator: "But weren’t you aware that there is company
policy not to smoke in the building?”
Hypothetical questions
What is the goal? Provide options to parties? Break impasse? Create
brainstorming environment? Encourage party participation? Provide reality
testing? Move from the communication stage to the negotiation and problem
solving stage?
How is it phrased? Framed to provide ideas to parties
Lead in phrases to “Have you thought about..?”
Mediator/Negotiator: “Why don’t I toss out several different ideas in no
particular order.
Have you thought about…..?”
“Here is an option that has worked for other people.
“Have you thought about…?
“Here is an option that I think might work for you…..”
(Notice different levels of validation by the mediator/negotiator in each of the
above statements. Be aware of how much of your own preferences are
impacting your statements. Be aware of power distance that can impact the
receptivity to the hypothetical question.)

9. Copyright: Nina Meierding, Negotiation and Mediation Training Services, all rights reserved, 2014.
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Leading Questions
What is the goal? Provide reality testing? Influencing the outcome by
suggesting possible answer? Break impasse? Provide power balancing?
How is it phrased? Framed by the mediator to achieve a desired
response from a party.
Mediator/Negotiator: “When you cancel his health insurance, do you intend to
provide reasonable notice so that he can obtain new
insurance without a lapse in coverage?”
Notes:
Copyright: Nina Meierding, Negotiation and Mediation Training Services, 2014, all rights
reserved.

10. Copyright: Nina Meierding, Negotiation and Mediation Training Services, all rights reserved, 2014.
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Drop Dead Questions
Developed by Nina Meierding and Chip Rose
These questions were developed as a set of “fall back questions” to be
used when parties are at impasse, are highly emotional, are contemplating
leaving negotiation, or seem to be stalled in the process.
1. What do you think would be the most effective thing that we could do
now? (or do next?)
2. What do you see are your choices or options?
3. How to you see that statement (or position, characterization, accusation)
moves you closer to your goals?
4. What do you see as the consequences of that option?
5. What needs to change it order for you to feel comfortable moving forward?
Copyright: Chip Rose, Mediation Center, and Nina Meierding, Negotiation and Mediation
Training 2014, all rights reserved