The document discusses the roles of the student and parent in the college admissions process. It states that the student should be the protagonist, taking responsibility for their academic performance and life management. The parent plays a supportive role, protecting the student but also empowering their independence. Both student and parent must respect each other's roles for the student's story to have a triumphant conclusion of entering adulthood.

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Know Your Role
The Student – Parent Relationship
in College Admissions
The Breath Before the Plunge
Why the last summer before college can
seem so fantastic and feel so miserable
Majors and You
How Important is a Good High
School District to Our Children?
LEARNING EDUCATION June 2013

2. A pop quiz is the perfect way to assess student knowledge and understanding.
POP QUIZ
Vocabulary
Each was in a natty blue uniform with gold braid, and top boots, and all were done “up to the nines.” In
this sentence, natty means:
a. dapper b. monochrome c. frivolous d. improbable
The path to
college
admissions
is all about
telling a
story. The
story has to
be engaging,
compelling,
well-defined,
and hopefully
(to some ex-
tent) unique.
Paul is a graduate of San Jose State University and has spent the last eleven years as an arts educator, serving
on the faculties of SJSU, Gavilan College, Campbell Union School District, Fremont Union High School District, San
Jose Unified School District as well as numerous private educational companies. He has also served as Recruit-
ment Coordinator for SJSU’s department of TV-Radio-Film-Theatre, was a lecturer, presenter and adjudicator for
regional theatre festivals, an arts administration consultant, the founder and editor of HighSchoolTheatreSpotlight.
com, and is an award-winning researcher and presenter in the field of theatre for social change. Through his
experience, he has forged numerous connections in education, politics and the corporate world so that he may
better serve his students and connect them to quality programs and opportunities. His academic interests also
include medicine, mechanical engineering, marketing, educational program development and public policy.
Inany good story, the roles of the players are well defined. You have your heroes and hero-
ines, your villains, your wizened sages, stalwart sidekicks, and your supporting characters
who serve an ancillary yet important purpose. Often when a student’s college application “story”
is written, there can be some confusion over who is playing which part. This can lead to unfortu-
nate consequences, as universities adopting the “holistic review process” are looking for certain
hallmarks of personal character that can only be defined if the two dominant people involved in
the student’s application process know their roles well and stick to them.
The star of our story. The Student is our hero who has
faced overwhelming odds, incredible adversity, and
through their own strength and determination, has come
out on the other side as a strong, independent, mature,
knowledgeable and determined person. Through their
own experiences, they have gained the skills necessary to
navigate the challenges they will face in the latter part of
high school and into college.
The Student should be their own advocate for their educa-
tional future. They should be comfortable with approaching
teachers, parents, and other adults and having a mature,
respectful and fruitful dialogue. Rather than compulsively
asking for answers, they should have the courage to act
independently and find solutions when possible. After all,
this is their story and no one else’s.
The Student should be responsible for their academic
performance, independent of any outside factor not
within their control. They should be able to properly
manage their time to effectively finish homework, study
thoroughly, and complete all projects to the best of
their ability. Their organizational skills should be strong
enough that they do not miss “easy points” due to
missed or late assignments, misunderstanding direc-
tions, or scheduling conflicts.
The Student should be able to manage their own lives to
a reasonable extent. Since they are nearing adulthood,
they should be able to understand respect, responsibil-
ity, the concepts of right and wrong, honesty, integrity,
honor and valor. These are the sorts of qualities that are
called upon in the real world, so it is important that The
Student begins to know them well at an early age.
Our strong supporting character(s). The Parent has a
vested interest in assisting The Student every step of
the way. They have often raised their child from infancy,
and therefore, have a compulsive habit of acting as
guardian, advocate, and source of counsel. Now as The
Student gains independence, The Parent has to al-
low room for growth and realize that their parent role is
evolving.
The Parent should be a protector from things that are
still too large for The Student to handle. This does not
mean that they should take the lead on every battle. Part
of their child’s growth is how they handle challenges on
their own since, again, this is The Student’s story. Some-
times, things can get out of hand and The Parent needs
to step in. But, their instinctive response should be to
monitor, talk, ask questions, and encourage The Student
to take the lead unless they are asked for help or realize
that they need to intervene.
The Parent should empower their child to be respon-
sible. All too often, they micromanage The Student’s
life. They handle all of the scheduling, the logistics, and
all of the details and duties that fill each and every day.
As The Student gets older, The Parent must learn to be
supportive by teaching them to handle increasingly larg-
er aspects of their lives including their studies, chores,
transportation, and even employment. Again, The Parent
should provide mature oversight and counsel, but they
should allow for growth and exploration as long as The
Student has earned them through responsible behavior.
Finally, they should also understand that providing help
involves a responsible choice, not an unconditional obli-
gation. Everyone becomes overwhelmed at some point,
but it is the job of The Parent to help if needed, and it is
the job of The Student to learn from adversity so that it
does not become a habit.
The Student
The Parent
The Parent should love The Student unconditionally.
The years leading up to college are a very difficult
time, and sometimes this can lead to unfortunate
conflicts where things are said that should never be
said. The Parent must acknowledge that there is sen-
sitivity, vulnerability, stress, and tension involved in
this process, and that they are there to guide, explain
and properly discipline if needed. They should not
berate, belittle, or demean. It is their job to celebrate
victories and help learn from defeat.
In the end, it is important that The Student know
they are there to learn, grow, explore and set goals.
The Parent is there to love, guide, encourage and
give structure to their child’s lives. If each player can
respect the roles they are playing as well as each
other, the end result will be a story that reads with
a triumphant final chapter: The Student journeys
toward the next challenge, The Parent proudly watch-
ing on as their child steps into adulthood.
Know Your Role
The Student – Parent Relationship
in College Admissions
Paul Sawyer, ThinkTank Learning
Academic Counselor & Admissions
Consultant
By Paul Sawyer, ThinkTank Learning Academic Counselor and Admissions Consultant
iv
COLLEGE COUNSELING