The document discusses the Love and Logic parenting model developed by Jim Fay and Foster Cline. They identified three main parenting styles: 1) Helicopter parents who hover over their children and make decisions for them, which is seen as detrimental. 2) Drill sergeant parents who demand obedience through threats and punishment, hurting a child's self-esteem. 3) Consultant parents who guide children through natural consequences and praising good behavior, allowing them to make choices and become competent decision makers. The Love and Logic approach focuses on developing positive relationships through skills like empathy, setting limits, and guiding children to solve their own problems. It is used in over 2,500 schools to create a welcoming environment for all.

1. Love and Logic Model
By Sofia Naznin, Nicole & Pembe

2. Jim Fay and Foster Cline (1990)
• Cline and Fay (1990) introduced the idea that there are
three types of parents. Although they refer to parents in
their work, it is equally useful for child carers and teachers
working with children and young people. The three types
of parents are…

3. 3 Types of Parents…
1. Helicopters
Helicopters parents hover over their children. They frequently interfere with
what their child is doing. This might be controlling their behaviour or
interactions. They make excuses for their children’s behaviour and might use
guilt to make their child behave.
This style of parenting is now viewed as largely negative and detrimental
(harmful) to the child. It is suggested that these parents are failing to help
children to make their own choices and learn things for themselves.
Alternatively, it is argued that this type of parenting might be needed when
children are very young as they need to have their interactions and
behaviour managed closely in order to keep them safe.

4. 2. Drill Sergeants
These parents command their child and direct their children’s lives. They
may tell the child how they should be feeling and what they should be
doing, and give them little opportunity to make their own decisions. The
parent might have unrealistic expectations and demands. They control
their children by threats, punishment and pain (smacking). They might
also humiliate the child as a form of punishment.
This style of parenting is dismissed by many people as hugely
negative and likely to effect the child’s self esteem and their
emotional well being.

5. 3. Consultants
• This type of parent guides and supports their child. They consult with them
over important issues and give them the opportunity to make choices. Some
times the parent helps the child to make good choices through natural
consequences. If the adult understands and ignores unwanted behaviour and
praises good behaviour, it is believed that the child would learn how to behave
well.
• This approach to parenting boosts the child’s self esteem an self worth and it
is thought that they become competent decision makers.
• This approach is criticised by some for being too liberal. Some people believe
that it allows children to manipulate adults and behave in ways that are
unacceptable. This behaviour is then often largely ignored and not corrected.

6. How this theory links to practice…
Based on observations and his studies, Fay composed what he calls nine essential skills
for teachers and this is what is used today:
• Neutralizing student arguing
• Delaying consequence
• Empathy
• The recovery process
• Developing positive teacher-student relationships
• Setting limits with enforceable statements
• Using choices to prevent power struggles
• Quick and easy preventative interventions
• Guiding students to own and solve their problems
Currently about 2,500 people are teaching the nine essential skills’ program in schools
and colleges and about 11,000 are teaching the Love & Logic version for parents in
schools.

7. Quotation…
• “It’s not just for discipline and safety; it’s to create an environment
where everyone feels welcomed and loved," said Jennifer E.
Guthals, principal of Thompson Falls (Montana) Elementary School.
The entire district uses Love & Logic. “I was a brand-new principal
when I came in [three years ago] and feel like this is one of the
luckiest things that ever happened in my life.”