1. gopalvy@gmail.com Love and Live!

2. Men Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed. When a man does not feel needed in a relationship, he gradually becomes passive and less energized; with each passing day he has less to give the relationship. On the other hand, when he feels trusted to do his best to fulfil her needs and appreciated for his efforts, he is empowered and has more to give.

3. Women women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished. When a woman does not feel cherished in a relationship she gradually becomes compulsively responsible and exhausted from giving too much. On the other hand when she feels cared for and respected, she is fulfilled and has more to give as well.

4. Win/lose Martians have a win/lose philosophy-I want to win, and I don't care if you lose. As long as each Martian took care of himself this formula worked fine. It worked for centuries, but now it needed to be changed. Giving primarily to themselves was no longer as satisfying. Being in love, they wanted the Venusians to win as much as themselves. In most sports today we can see an extension of this Martian competitive code. For example, in tennis I not only want to win but also try to make my friend lose by making it difficult for him to return my shots. I enjoy winning even though my friend loses.

5. Win or lose? Most of these attitudes have a place in life, but this win/lose attitude becomes harmful in our adult relationships. If I seek to fulfil my own needs at the expense of my partner, we are sure to experience unhappiness, resentment, and conflict. The secret of forming a successful relationship is for both partners to win.

6. Do you tell? Women initially communicate loud and clear: "We need you. Your power and strength can bring us great fullfilfilling a void deep within our being. Together we could find great happiness." This invitation motivates and empowers the Men. Many women instinctively understand how to give this message. in the beginning of a relationship, a woman gives a man a brief look that says you could he the one to make me happy. In this subtle way she actually initiates their relationship. This look encourages him to come closer. It empowers him to overcome his fears of having a relationship. Unfortunately, once they are in a relationship and as the problems begin to emerge, she doesn't know how important that message still is to him and neglects to send it.

7. Men and Love When a man is in love he is motivated to be the best he can be in order to serve others. When young self service rules Most men are not only hungry to give love but are starving for it. Their biggest problem is that they do not know what they are missing. When a man doesn't feel he is making a positive difference in someone else's fife, it is hard for him to continue caring about his fife and relationships

8. Women and Love Most men have little awareness of how important it is to a woman to feel supported by someone who cares. Women are happy when they believe their needs will be met. When a woman is upset, overwhelmed, confused, exhausted, or hopeless what she needs most is simple companionship. She needs to feel she is not alone. She needs to feel loved and cherished.

9. Freeze? Empathy, understanding, validation, and compassion go a long way to assist her in becoming more receptive and appreciative of his support. Men don't realize this because their instincts tell them it's best to be alone when they are upset. When she is upset, out of respect he will leave her alone, or if he stays he makes matters worse by trying to solve her problems. He does not instinctively realize how very important closeness, intimacy, and sharing are to her. What she needs most is just someone to listen.

10. Thaw Through sharing her feelings she begins to remember that she is worthy of love and that her needs will be fulfilled. Doubt and mistrust melt away. Her tendency to be compulsive relaxes as she remembers that she is worthy of love-she doesn't have to earn it; she can relax, give less, and receive more. She deserves it.

11. Give and Take many women today are also tired of giving. They want time off. Time to explore being themselves. Time to care about themselves first. They want someone to provide emotional support, someone they don 't 'have to take care of. The Men fit the bill perfectly.

12. As you grow In her younger years, a woman is much more willing to sacrifice and mould herself to fulfil her partner's needs. In a man's younger years, he is much more self-absorbed and unaware of the needs of others. As a woman matures she realizes how she may have been giving up herself in order to please her partner. As a man matures he realizes how he can better serve and respect others.

13. Maturity As a man matures he also learns that he may be giving up himself, but his major change is becoming more aware of how he can succeed in giving. Likewise, as a woman matures she also learns new strategies for giving, but her major change tends to be learning to set limits in order to receive what she wants.

14. Listen! Instead of blaming a man for giving less, a woman can accept and forgive her partner's perfections. Especially when he disappoints her, trust that he wants to give more when he doesn't offer his support, and encourage him to give more by appreciating what he does give and continuing to ask for his support.

15. Way out a woman needs to recognize her boundaries of what she can give without resenting her partner. Instead of expecting her partner to even the score, she needs to keep it even by regulating how much she gives. Step 1: Motivation Step 2: Responsibility Step 3: Practice