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How to Find a Boyfriend

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How to Find a Boyfriend

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  7. 7. Welcome to the Training Course on How to Find a Boyfriend!Congratulations on taking a step in the right direction learning the skills, strategies andtechniques you need to find a loving, long term relationship with a boyfriend. Im Dave, and Imgoing to guide you through the process of attracting a man you’re in love with.Lesson 1 - The Basics of AttractionAttraction can seem like a confusing thing. Sometimes, people struggle their entire lives to fullyunderstand it. But that neednt be the case. Though many factors go into causing people to besexually, socially, and romantically drawn to one another, they can be summarized in a few mainprinciples.But before we talk about any of that, we have to go over what attraction IS in the first place.After all, if your goal is to cause someone to feel attracted to you, we would have to know whatour goal right? So here is a quick definition.Attraction: an emotional, sexual, or social desire for a specific type of attention from anotherperson.Notice I said the word "desire." This implies a very simple but important principle that peopleoften overlook. That principle is that "You cant want what you already have!!"This is one of the most absolutely important ideas behind attraction. Two magnets arent beingpulled together if they are already next to each other! If I were to meet a nice young ladytomorrow who wanted to marry me and she thought the world of me and I felt no chance offailure, it would completely ruin the attraction process! I had no time to build up a desire for her.Does a man with a million dollars want a million dollars? Does a kid with ice cream feel anintense desire to have more ice cream??? Does a person with a really good friend sit around andthink about how they want a really good friend???? No!You get the picture here. So a desire always involves two factors: 1. Something/someone that is considered valuable which is obtainable 2. Not completely having that valuable thing/personSo, in order to make a man drawn to you, he needs to experience how awesome you are, but notbe able to completely have that awesomeness, at least until you have him. All of this will becomeclear later on.But we also see in our definition that there are different types of attraction: social, emotional, andsexual. Believe it or not, when you are attracted to someone, especially if you are in love withthem, all three factors are full force, not just one of them. So now we must fully understand whatthese three types of attraction are, and go over how you can use them to attract a man.
  8. 8. Three Types of AttractionThere are three types of attraction. • Sexual Attraction • Social and Investment Based Attraction • Addiction/Emotion Based AttractionEach of these gets less and less surface and deeper as it goes down.Sexual AttractionWomen are immediately sexually attracted to cool guys with status and lots of people who givethem social attention. This is why rock stars, player types, and people in power are attractive towomen. On the contrary, it is no secret that men are strongly attracted womans physicalappearance. Now before you think any self-depreciating thoughts you need to know that if youare a woman under 30 you are automatically set up to succeed in this area, using simplestrategies we will talk about later. Men emotionally respond to women who are physicallyhealthy and have physical indications of fertility and childbearing potential. So this means that ifyou dress nicely, get physically fit, and practice good hygiene, you are already well on your wayto succeeding in this area.This is still an important area to succeed with even if you don’t plan on having sex beforemarriage (like me). Even if you don’t have sex, sexual attraction is an important aspect of twopeople coming together.When someone encounters someone that they consider of high sexual value (cool guys in girlscase) they are apt to socially invest in that person, which is the next mechanism of attraction.Investment/Social Based AttractionPeople keep putting money into slot machines or chasing someone who is getting farther awayfrom their grasp all the time. This demonstrates the power of investment. If you have alreadyspent time with one group of friends, you are apt to keep spending time with them, rather thangoing off and making new friends all of a sudden. This type of attraction is universal and appliesto dating, friendships, and all sorts of different areas of life. Basically, the more a person hasworked at getting someone or something, the more time and effort they are willing to put into it.Social investment builds deeper and more satisfying emotional connections, until finally we getto the deepest form of emotional connection, which is what can be used to cause intenseromantic attraction.
  9. 9. Romantic/Emotional Based AttractionThe final type of attraction or value that a person can have is deep emotional value. Socialconnections get deeper and deeper into this, as do friendships. However, when one person startsapproving of another in the deepest way possible, and starts validating them for their deepesthopes, dreams, and fears, the building blocks of romantic love start to take shape. When awoman truly understands a man and thinks he is the type of man he has always wanted to be, (ora guy with a woman), they will begin to become addicted to the other persons emotionalattention. Once tension is added to this equation, romantic love is in its perfect habitat to bloom.All of these things are what causes another person to value the attention of another, eithersocially, sexually, or emotionally. However, remember that desire does not exist unless thatwhich is desired is slightly out of reach. This is why we introduce tension, adversity, anduncertainty into the relationship, in safe and healthy ways.Tension Across the BoardSexual, social, and deepest emotional attention are the three types of connection that peoplecrave from one another. However, in order for them to actually crave it, they have to know itsvaluable but not completely have it. In order to build attraction in every stage, tension must beintroduced into every stage.Sexual TensionIf a girl wears a more revealing dress, or a really popular guy winks at a girl, these causeemotional reactions. Tension is aroused these situations, because both people are showing to theperson that they are attracted to that they do not completely have them. Research has even shownthat a partially nude woman causes more sexual arousal in a man than even a naked woman!Social TensionNotice when groups of guys and girls first meet, after exchanging introductions and beginning tohang out, they begin teasing one another and saying jokingly mean things to each other. Thisstimulates each other to socially invest and to appreciate the attention they are giving to oneanother, in a fun and light hearted way. Its often remarked that girls always fall for the "jerks"and guys fall for the "flirts" and the "teases." This is why. Artificial and pretend barriers to socialinteraction are created in order to cause investment and desire for social connection to deepen.Emotional and Romantic TensionFinally, when someone has been receiving deep emotional approval at their core from anotherperson, and then they suddenly dont hear from that person or are unsure if they continue to feelthat way about them, the emotions are rather intense. This is because it relates to the personsdeepest desires with respect to how they want to be loved. When one person likes another personin a very special way that they have always wanted, emotions get very strong. That is why anytension placed on that is extremely powerful indeed.
  10. 10. ReviewIn this lesson, we learned what attraction is and that people cant be attracted to things theyalready have or think they will never lose.In this lesson, we learned that there are three types of attention that people want from each other:sexual, social, and emotional. When we 1) Increase the value of the attention we give people inthese areas and 2) add uncertainty, adversity, or in any way not let the person completely havesaid attention, attraction is then created.Review Quiz 1. Why is tension important? a. It bullies people into liking you and doing things for you b. it makes people feel that what they value is slightly out of reach c. tension is not important 2. What is one of the most important ideas behind all types of desire and attraction a. people cant want what they already completely have b. people want what they are working to get c. guys and girls all have sexual desire d. all ideas are equally important 3. What are the three types of attraction that can take place? a. mental, physical, and emotional b. psychosocial, socioeconomic, and psychokinetic c. spiritual, sexual, and mental d. sexual, social, and emotional 4. What is the deepest type of attraction? a. sexual b. emotional c. investment d. They are all equal
  11. 11. 5. When we say we are attracted to another person, what we really mean is: a. we want to be physically next to them b. we want to make out with them c. we desire a specific type of attention we could receive from them d. we want to be their friendAnswers:1) B, 2) A, 3) D, 4) B, 5) CDay 2: Training Course on How to Find a Boyfriend!Yesterday, we learned all about the mechanisms that cause attraction and what attraction is in thefirst place. We learned about the three specific types of attention that people value from oneanother, and how to increase the desire for those types of attention. Yesterday was a lot oftheoretical information. Today we are going to work on specifically applying that theoreticalinformation in real and tangible ways.Lesson 2 - Things to Do Before You Start Meeting GuysThe title is a little misleading because you should always be meeting guys and other girls andbuilding friendships and connections, because you can never know what can come of them.However, this week we are going to talk about the value/sexual side of attraction and the stepthat comes "causally prior" to other types of improvement, though in time and in real life it maynot happen in this sort of strict sequence.In the last section we went over how women are universally attracted to guys with lots of status,popularity, and power. On the contrary, it is universally known and proven that men are attractedto women who are "pretty." Now before you get overly concerned I want to tell you right nowthat being pretty enough to have a boyfriend is a LOT easier than you think, especially if you are20-30 years old. This is because of what guys mean when they say "pretty" or "hot" is muchmore within your control than it seems.Research shows that when men are attracted to women, they are attracted to a specific type ofphysical beauty, which may not be exactly the same as what you think is pretty, say for examplewhen another girl walks into the room. There are specific biologically and emotionallyprogrammed criteria that make a woman physically attractive. They are: • Physical indications of youthfulness • Physical indications of health • Physical indications of fertility (child bearing potential)
  12. 12. Now a guy is not sitting back with a checklist and saying things like "she in good health?Check!, able to have healthy babies?? Check!" Thats not how it works at all. All these factorswork together and merge into one emotional response in a guy. What I mean is that he may noteven be consciously aware of the fact that her youthfulness (i.e. early 20s) is having an effect onhim. He is just biologically and unconsciously programmed to have a positive emotionalresponse to all these factors, and is not even necessarily consciously aware of them.Sometimes people get very discouraged about how they look, especially compared to otherwomen. A lot of this is unfounded, especially when it comes to getting a boyfriend. As powerfulas physical attraction is to a man, attraction is not at all fully based on that. If you are "average"looking young woman, you are in the most beautiful class of people on earth from a mansstandpoint. What a woman looks like to a man is far more in her control than it seems.The above bullet points, in real life correspond to these kinds of things. Some of these seem"shallow" to from your standpoint, but I need to mention them because they are things that willjust naturally improve as you improve your health and the way you dress, which we will discusslater. • Hip to waist ratio • Facial symmetry • Proportional physical features in generalThe prevailing theory as to why men are attracted to these things are because, as mentionedpreviously, they are outward signs of health and fertility. Things like hip to waist ratio have beenassociated with estrogen in research. Facial symmetry shows that a person is not deformed in anyway or have severe genetic defects. The reason why psychologists and biologists think men arehardwired to like signs of health and fertility is because it programs them to seek the healthiestmates to have the healthiest children. Even though most young women in the U.S. are likely tobe healthy or lack physical deformities, keep in mind it’s not an objective assessment, but anemotional and pre-programmed response by a guy, regardless if you are actually healthy, fertile,etc. or not.Again, physical appearance, though important, is probably less important than you think.Psychologist Dorothy Tennov interviewed 500 different people to find out what caused people tofall in love with each other. Remarkably, physical appearance played a role, but was not thestrongest factor. For a real life example, a girl who I had flirted with asked me to go out to eatdessert with her once. I said no because I thought she wasnt pretty enough for me. However,months later after not having talked to her in a long while since, I fell madly in love with her anddesperately wanted to be with her and adored her. This proves that attraction is mostly rooted inpsychological events that happen to the person who is potentially interested, instead of being ahard and fast thing associated with appearance.
  13. 13. There are many ways that you can naturally improve the way you look. Here are the main waysto do so: • get physically healthy and in shape • dress with good fashion and style • issues related to presentationImproving Physical HealthLets face it. A lot of people in the United States are overweight. A lot of those overweightpeople, especially in the younger category, would be considered very attractive if they justimproved their health a little bit. I am not saying this in an insensitive way. I am just saying thisto remind you on how important this area of your life is to maintain. Being overweight does youa big disservice because it distorts natural advantages that you have that are attractive. Beingoverweight distorts a positive hip to waist ratio, which is considered universally attractive acrossall cultures. If you are young, it also makes you appear unhealthy when you would otherwiseappear very healthy. Finally, it distorts natural body proportion that you would have. Youngwomen (18-30) are the prettiest people in the world because it is just naturally so. Dont depriveyourself of these advantages just because of a lack of attention to your health.In order to improve your health you need to improve how you eat. The number of calories youeat needs to be less than the calories you burn. However, it is a myth that you can eat whateveryou want as long as the calories are low. Healthy foods, like fruits, vegetables, whole grains, andskim milk actually affect how your body burns calories, either through metabolism or affecting ifyou feel hungry or not. Get addicted to healthy foods, and put yourself in environments whereyou know you will eat healthy.To improve your health you also need to have regular aerobic exercise. This kind of exercise justmeans "with oxygen." You need to get your heart rate up and breathing faster. The U.S.government recommends a half hour of moderate aerobic exercise 5 days a week. This can bedone through a variety of means. Cycling, swimming, jogging, and recreational sportingactivities are all things you can consider to get this kind of exercise in.Dressing in StyleA big part of appearing physically attractive is the manner in which you dress. Again, yourconcern is to have good hygiene and accentuate your natural physical advantages withoutadvertising things your less than proud of. There are a couple easy ways to do this. First, avoidtypes of clothing that you would only wear at home or that dont show any of your figure at all.Sweatshirts and sweatpants are examples of this. Though they are very useful for outdoor eventsor for watching television with friends, they are less than ideal when you are coming into contactwith potential dating prospects. It doesnt highlight any of your bodies figure, and all around isntthe "nicest" way for men or women to dress. However, you dont have to become a fashionexpert to look nice. Just look around at women you personally think dress with class and style.Start to model how they dress if its a style that you like.
  14. 14. PresentationThere are many general things you can do to improve presentation, that apply to men and womenalike. First, make sure you practice good hygiene. Its likely you already do this since you are agirl, but hygiene will hurt you if you are one of the types that doesnt pay attention to it as much.Also, wearing a little make up and smiling a lot are very helpful in having a pleasing demeanor.Stand up with good posture as opposed to slouching. Looking directly into peoples eyes is alsovery helpful, since many men become intoxicated by the eyes of the person they like.ReviewIn this lesson we learned the basics of "sexual value" based attraction. Men are attracted to prettygirls, but “pretty” has a definition that may be much different than what many women think.Pretty is associated with an appearance of youthfulness, health, facial symmetry, and outwardsigns of reproductive health. Many theorists believe men respond to this because it programsthem to seek a partner which will have healthy offspring.There are a variety of ways to improve your appearance that are within your control. First, is tobecome physically in shape, because doing so will enhance your already present natural physicaladvantages you have as a young woman. Second, dressing with "class" and wearing clothes thatemphasize your figure will assist you to an extent. Finally, good presentation through things likehygiene, smiling, and good posture, will also improve your appearance.Quiz 1. Overall, physical attractiveness for young women is: a. something that comes with genetics and they have to live with b. something that is more within their control than many believe c. is either had or is not d. the most important factor in finding a boyfriend 2. Being physically in shape is helpful for physical appearance because a. it enhances natural physical proportions that you have b. it makes you look healthier c. it makes you more confident in how you come off to others d. all of the above 3. When men experience attraction they: a. have a single, immediate, emotional response based on the mixing together of several physical factors b. have a mental checklist of things like health, fertility indicators, and youthful appearance c. think girls are only hot or not, and nowhere in between d. have no differences in physical preferences depending on the guy
  15. 15. 4. Many theorists believe men are interested in physical appearance because: a. men only care about sex b. researchers have no idea why men like physical appearance c. physical appearance is a quick way to assess whether or not they will have healthy offspring d. researchers dont think physical appearance is important at all 5. According to the research study by Dr. Dorothy Tennov, a persons physical appearance: a. the most important factor in causing someone to fall in love b. not a factor at all in falling in love c. not related at all to her research study d. a factor in falling in love, but not as important as events that happen between peopleAnswers:1) B, 2) D, 3) A, 4) C, 5) DThe Training Course on How to Find a Boyfriend! Part 3Yesterday, we learned all about value/sexual based attraction that happens initially when aperson encounters another person and decides if they want to get to know them better. The daybefore, we talked about all the theory behind attraction. But today, we are going to talk abouthow to meet people that you could potentially be attracted to, so that you can start attracting andgetting to know the people you might want to be with.Lesson 3 - Networking and How and Where to Meet GuysNow that we have established simple strategies to appear more attractive, the next thing we needto do is figure out where and how to meet the types of guys that you will be most likely to beattracted to.Where to MeetBefore you decide where to meet guys, you need to find out what your interests are. If you getinvolved with activities or a group of friends that you have nothing in common with just to meetguys, you will have less fun and not meet the people who you would be most compatible with.There is a multi-step process you can use to find the best kinds of activities that you can dowhere you will be able to meet men.
  16. 16. 1. If you are at a college, find out all of the activities that it has going on. If you live in a town by yourself, find out about all the clubs and organizations within your town. 2. List off the clubs and organizations that you are interested in or would at least might be interested in getting involved with. 3. Next, circle all the clubs in that list you made where you think their could be a fair number of guys. 4. Pick 1 or 2 of these organizations, and go try them out. 5. Become actively involved in those organizations, if they continue to interest you.It is important to become involved in additional activities besides work or school, where men (orboth sexes) are actively involved. Just a cursory involvement will not allow you to get to knowthe people on a deeper level or give any of them the chance to fall in love with you, if you wantone of them to. Though meeting lots and lots of people is important, which we will talk about ina moment, your greatest asset as far as networking is to get deeply involved in 1 or 2 medium tolarge organizations that have many guys and girls in it and start getting to know the guys there.Here are a list of possible organizations that will likely have a fair amount of guys: • religious organizations • Greek life events that involve both sororities and fraternities • organizations associated with your major (if your major has a lot of guys) • workout clubs • various student committees • certain types of social causes or activism organizationsSo once you are involved in said organizations, what’s the next step? Well, people often developclose friendships in the organizations they are involved with, whether it be church groups, Greeklife, philosophy club, Student Activities Committee, or anything else. This means that they willoften get together and go out to eat or do something after meeting is over. You need to go alongwith these additional social events besides just the meetings, because thats where the friendshipsand romantic relationships form. If the people in the meetings know each other well but dontseem to regularly hang out in other places besides the meetings, you can be the first to organizeit. Many of the people in two of the campus ministries at my college go out to eat at Applebeesafter their Thursday night meetings. This is a great way to get to know people at a better level,and to meet friends of friends, for romantic purposes or just for friendship. Just make sure youare having a good time with everyone, guys and girls alike, or else you might get too much of anagenda and get too stuck in your head, which will be detrimental to you in the long and shortrun.Other Places to Meet PeopleAs far as networking and meeting people in general, there are other ways to meet guys that arewider in nature. Make sure you meet every guy who walks up to you or who you run into in anylocation. Just strike up a friendly conversation and find out a few quick facts about him. If yourfriends are with guy friends you havent met, introduce yourself to them. Be somewhat thoroughabout meeting everyone who looks familiar. For example, if you are sitting next to a guy in classand you havent met him, shake his hand and find out his name and make small talk. If you are at
  17. 17. a club or organization, make sure to meet the people (and guys) in your vincinity, and always tryto introduce yourself to someone if you consistently see them around but dont know their name.If there is a new guy at work, go out of your way to meet him. All you have to say is "Hey, Ihave seen you around a lot but I havent introduced myself to you yet. Hi Im (insert your name).Nice to meet you." Once you meet the person, try to practice remembering their names and whatthey tell you about themselves. These are people who you will likely see again, even if it’s onlyoccasional. You never know who you could meet!Getting to Know the People in Your CircleOnce you have got a group of people you like hanging out with on a regular basis, including bothgirls, and guys you might like, there are some steps you can begin to take to increase the amountof time spent with them, especially guys. An extremely effective strategy is to get a couple girl-friends together and offer to make a bunch of your guy friends meals on occasion. My freshmanyear in college, a group of three girls we knew who wanted to get to know us better offered tomake us dinner or had us over to their dorm room to watch movies. Us guys, who had nothingbetter to do but couldnt refuse food, had no choice but to come ;). This was a very effectivestrategy for them, since some of us guys either became interested in them, or they becameinterested in one of us. Guys really like food and they like hanging out with girls and guys,particularly in larger groups (6-8). This is a strategy that you can employ to get guys to comealong with you and just have fun.Make sure you arent stuck in your head when you do this and make sure you are happy and havea good time joking around and getting to know everyone. Also, doing this kind of event withanother girl-friend or two is helpful in getting even more guys to come and makes the planningeasier on you.Repeated exposure and investment are very important factors in human relationships. Make surethat these guys that you start hanging out with that you continue to do so, if you get along withthem. This increases your networking capability and will increase their attraction to you. Oneresearch study showed that the more familiar and more often guys saw an attractive woman, thehotter they thought she was. Also, people tend to become invested and emotionally attached tothe people they spend time with and get to know on a deep level. This by no means guaranteessuccess with any particular guy. Its just a technique that you can use to make sure you get themost out of the efforts you put in.ReviewIn this lesson we talked about how to find places to meet guys, and how it is important to get toknow people well in specific organizations. We also went over different techniques andstrategies for getting guys to hang out with you and how to meet people outside your regularinteractions.
  18. 18. Quiz 1. Overall, when networking, it is most important to: a. meet everyone you possibly can b. get to know a targeted group of people and get to know the guys in that group c. meet other girls, because guys like hanging around girls d. be able to pass a test about attraction 2. When seeing people who are familiar but you havent met, its best to: a. "play hard to get" and wait for them to introduce themselves to you b. try to say hi, but act shy so you dont offend them c. talk to them a lot the first time you meet d. introduce yourself to them 3. When setting up an informal social event with your circle, it is best to a. involve one or two other friends that are girls b. do it by yourself c. involve several other friends that are girls d. its best to let other people set up things like this 4. When participating in social activities with your wider social network, it is best to: a. mentally strategize about the theories of attraction as you are talking to a guy b. only talk to girls and let the guys walk up to you c. make sure you maintain the social relationships you make in order to create familiarity d. never step out of your comfort zone and hope for God or destiny to do it all for you 5. When choosing an activity to get involved with, you should: a. only bother about whether it has mostly guys, and forget about your interests b. only do something you are interested in, even if its only girls c. get involved with something that has plenty of guys and girls d. only pick really small organizationsAnswers:1) B, 2) D, 3) A, 4) C, 5) C
  19. 19. The Training Course on How to Find a Boyfriend! Part 4Yesterday, we talked about networking and how to find guys that you might want to make yourboyfriend. Before that, we talked about tips and strategies directly within your control to makeyou more attractive to guys, which is the way you naturally are if you are in the age bracket Igenerally teach to (18-28 or so). Before that, we talked about all the theory behind humanattraction and why all this works. But today, we are going to talk about how to have goodconversations once you meet the guys you want to get to know better.Lesson 4: How to Have Great ConversationsA lot of attraction is very within your control. The emotions you create by having interactionswith people will greatly enhance your odds of finding the relationship you want. Physicalappearance is only a part of attraction. Though important, perhaps equally or more important isthe events that psychologically happen to a man over the course of the time you know him.Remember, there are three types of attraction: sexual, social, and emotional. Today we are goingto talk about strategies and tips that will draw people to you on a social wavelength. After all, ina frenzied effort to avoid the "friend zone," people often forget the word "friend" in boyfriend! Ifhes not your friend in some sense, hes not your boyfriend either. The social dimension is a verynecessary part of attraction, and the emotions created within it are some of the main ones peopleuse to get people to like them (like teasing, flirting, and humor for example).The Core Elements of Social InteractionSocial interactions seem complicated, but they all have a few things in common, especially in theinteractions that spawn feelings of attraction: • The topics of discussion - every social interaction involves talking about various topics or subject matters. • Emotional connections- every conversation involves forming emotional connections, or common emotional feelings, about various topics of discussion • Questions - When people arent sharing common emotions on existing topics, they are using questions, remarks, or telling stories to find more things to connect on. • Humor and teasing - to increase emotional excitement, and to create and release tension through this process, people involve humor and light teasing.In general, when people get to know each other, people rotate between: 1. forming emotional connections on topics 2. using questions, remarks or stories to find more topics to connect onThe topics that you connect on usually start simple, such as agreeing that it is hot outside. As theconversation continues, questions are usually employed to find deeper topics to emotionallyconnect on (i.e. feel the same about). This is the essence of what psychologists call rapport,
  20. 20. which means feeling on the same page or emotionally in tune with someone else. This rotationbetween feeling the same about certain topics, and finding more things to feel the same about, ishow people become friends.However, you are not just in the business of making friends, though that is important. You are inthe business of making a boyfriend by creating attraction as well. Basically, we dont want to justbuild emotional connections, we want them to want an emotional connection with us. Forexample, its not enough for the person to just like us. Our goal is to also make them want to beliked by us. This is where creating tension comes in. In the rotation between emotionalconnections and finding more things to connect on, we have to add tension, humor, and teasingwherever is appropriate, to get people to be more emotionally involved in connecting with us.This is the essence of flirting. When you briefly or jokingly dont form a connection withsomeone on something, they laugh, but unconsciously feel the emotion of wanting you to likethem at a very small level, if you do it right. Notice how extremely popular people are not afraidto joke around and exchange pretend teases with other people. This is part of why people notonly like them, but feel an ever so subtle urge to be liked by them. The goal is not to degradesomeone so they feel like they have to work up to your level. Nor is the goal even to slightlyupset people. The goal is to occasionally and jokingly not create an emotional connection. Thishas the subtle effect of make people just want to emotionally connect even more.So how does this work out in real life conversations? Below, we will address each element thatneeds to be in a conversation in order to be successful.Finding Things to Emotionally Connect OnWhen you first meet someone, you obviously dont know very much about them. But you need tofind a way to connect with them initially to get the process going. If you are in a commonenvironment or part of the same organization, connect with the person on the basis of the lastactivity you did. This "breaks the ice" and starts the conversation process. You need to continuesearching for things to feel the same about, whether it be something funny you just saw or morethings related to your environment. Then you can start asking questions about them to find morethings about them. This gives you more things to feel the same about and relate to them about.From there, if they are enjoying the conversation, you can continue to ask deeper questions abouttheir background, their hobbies and interests, and other things you think may be of interest tothem. Once you have found a common bond based on each other’s interests, you can proceed toeven deeper topics that you both feel strongly about, if the conversation naturally goes there.Forming Emotional Connections On TopicsOnce you have found topics that interest both of you, you can compliment them on those topics(such as their hobbies) and tell stories about yourself that relate to that particular subject matter.Once you have found a topic to connect on, make sure you dont just stay on the surface, but findout why they like that, and in general try to get them to open up emotionally about it.. You alsowant to put yourself in their shoes and genuinely feel the same way about the topic as them. The
  21. 21. goal here is not just to get them to say they like playing guitar, and then you just saying thatscool and moving on. No, the goal here is to get them fired up and unleash the passion they haveon that subject. You want to encourage them based on what they say, and mirror back the sameemotions they are showing to you, while putting yourself in their shoes.Adding TensionThere are lots of ways to add tension to a conversation. However, you must remember the goal isnot to make someone feel less than you or in any way insulted, even a little bit. The goal issimply to do and say things to them in a humorous way that adds slight tension to theconversation. This "spices up" the talk you are having and makes it more fun. You can do this byjoking around with them, teasing them, pretending (very jokingly!) that you want to go talk tosomeone else, playfully resisting requests they give you, and many others. When even this veryslight lack of emotional connection is added to the interaction, it livens things up and makespeople really enjoy the conversation with you and makes them enjoy the emotional connectionsyou make even more.Nothing NewThese techniques are not new. Many dating coaches who advocate a structured approach toconversation almost always include something from each element above when advising peopleon how to talk to each other. One coach (Adam Lyons) even came up with a special name forslightly jarring the emotional connection through teasing. He called it "breaking rapport."Remember, feeling on the same page is the emotional connection called rapport. When you"break rapport", it adds tension to the conversation and is the essence of flirting.ReviewIn this lesson, we learned about the social side of attraction and how people naturally makefriends and flirt with each other. Every social interaction that is good for making someoneattracted to you involves finding things to emotionally connect on, making those emotionalconnections, and adding tension so they enjoy the emotional connections even more when theydo happen.
  22. 22. Quiz 1. All conversations have the goal of: a. emotionally connecting by sharing similar emotions on various topics b. interrogating people to make them work for your attention c. making people feel less than you so they look up to you d. the goal of every conversation is different 2. The goal of adding tension to a conversation is: a. to slightly upset people so they want you to be nice again b. to make people lower than you so they respect and look up to you c. to make people feel awkward d. to make it more fun and enhance the desire for more emotional connection 3. The social dimension of attraction: a. should be avoided for fear of the friend zone b. is very valuable in drawing together both friends and romantic partners alike c. is the only dimension of attraction d. is irrelevant to girls; the only goal is to be pretty 4. Ideally for attraction, conversations should: a. Remain on the surface level at all times b. Remain somewhere in the middle between surface and deep subjects. c. Cover a wider and deeper range of things to connect on. d. Start with really deep topics right away 5. In a conversation with another person you like, you should: a. Focus mainly on learning about the other person b. Focus less on learning about the other person, but relentlessly flirt with them c. Focus only on building emotional connection, without anything else. d. Use all three strategies wherever appropriate.Answers: 1) A, 2) D, 3) B, 4) C, 5) D
  23. 23. The Training Course on How to Find a Boyfriend! Part 5In the first lesson, we covered the 3 types of attraction and how they affect people. These typesof attraction are the sexual, social, and emotional levels of attraction. So far, we have coveredhow to be sexually attractive (by improving your appearance in healthy ways) and how to besocially attractive (in the last lesson on how to have great conversations). In this lesson, we aregoing to talk about how to form the last of the three types of attraction, namely, how to get a guyto to fall in love with you. This type of attraction actually has two lessons dealing with it, sinceits so especially relevant to the topic of this training course, which is how to find a boyfriend.Lesson 5 - Getting Him Deeply Addicted to You without Him Realizing ItIn 1979, a psychologist named Dr. Dorothy Tennov did a research study into the nature ofromantic love. She interviewed over 500 people and gave questionnaires to over 100 others. Hergoal was to determine the exact nature of romantic love, namely, what it felt like to thoseexperiencing it, the phases it went through, and why it began in the first place. In her research,she discovered many things that happened to people who were in love. However, one of the verydefining characteristics was an intense desire to be liked back by the other person. This desirewas felt as an intense ache in the center of the chest. They also couldnt stop thinking about theother person.She could only find four common characteristics that seemed to cause another person to fall inlove: 1. The person they were in love with met predetermined loose characteristics, which seemed to center around age, background, etc. The person had to be a potential sex partner as well. 2. The person falling in love had a hope that the other person liked them in return. 3. The person falling in love was uncertain whether or not they actually did. 4. The person falling in love was the type of person who could fall in love and wasn’t in love with anyone else at the time.In the second and third lessons, we covered how to be naturally physically attractive and how toget involved in organizations where people share your values. This should take care of a lot ofpoint #1 above. Also, it’s important to note that what makes you sexually attractive often makesyou romantically attractive. This is proven by the fact that psychological studies show that menfall in love faster than women and fall in love at first sight more often.Tomorrow in part 6, we will talk about how to make the person uncertain as to whether or notyou like them. But uncertainty doesnt even matter if you dont want to be liked by the person inthe first place. If an 85 year old woman made me uncertain as to whether or not she liked meromantically, it would have no impact on me. Therefore, in this lesson we have to cover how toget him romantically addicted to your attention in the first place.
  24. 24. Creating an Addiction: The Water MetaphorAs is said by many and agreed upon by scientists, love really is an addiction. Let me illustrate.You dont know it, but you have a very serious addiction right now. Im not kidding. Thisaddiction is so severe that no amount of rehab could ever heal you. But guess what? You rarelythink about it, and desire for the substance you are addicted to likely does not consume your life.So whats the addiction? The answer is water. All humans are seriously addicted to water,because we would die without it. However, why doesnt the desire consume us? The answer isbecause people in Western countries generally have enough to drink, so we dont obsess aboutwhere and how to get water. However, that desire would immediately become obvious and oneof our main goals as humans if this situation were to change.The same applies to falling in love. Making him addicted to your attention is like giving him lotsof water, something he really wants and needs. Now, he may not realize it, but if you use thestrategies outlined in the rest of this lesson, he may become dependent on your attention. But ithas to be the right kind of attention. Using our water metaphor, you cant give a thirsty persongasoline and expect them to drink it! It has to be the right kind of attention.However, the desire wont exist until the attention (the water) comes under threat or in limitedsupply (through uncertainty). This lesson is about how to make your attention something he cantlive without, like water. The next lesson (part 6) is about how to use uncertainty to make himrealize he cant live without your attention, or basically to make him realize he is thirsty.Two ComponentsIn romantic desire we want to make your attention (the water) as valuable as possible, so thatwhen we threaten or make it uncertain, it has a profound effect on him emotionally. There aretwo ways to make your attention valuable. 1. Have personal characteristics that increases the value he puts on your romantic attention. These include physical and personality characteristics. 2. Make him experience the kind of attention from you that he cant live without.Both of these factors usually work together to contribute to the quality of the attention hereceives from you. For example:Characteristics (type) of woman + the type of attention she gives = emotional addiction
  25. 25. Practical Stuff to DoSo heres how to become the type of woman that increases the likelihood he falls in love withyou:The Type of Woman You Are: 1. Target guys with similar demographics: (aka, same interest, same age, same religious background, same lifestyle, same geographic area etc.). 2. Stay in shape, being neither too big or too skinny. (Once you meet this criteria most everything else as far as looks wont matter as much. Looks may matter less than you think as far as falling in love is concerned, if you are a healthy and well groomed young adult.) 3. Be a mysterious, intriguing, reserved girl who sometimes smiles. OR be the girl thats always happy, joking around and talkative with everyone. 4. Wear a little make up and do your hair nice. 5. Behave in a stereotypically respectable feminine or lady-like manner. (Act nurturing for small children, ask him for help on things, etc. Also, dont talk too loud, act too dominant, or act like a complete jerk.)If you do the things above, you will increase the value of the attention you give him simply byincreasing his respect and admiration for who it is coming from. The next step is to enhance theattention itself. Here are some ways you can do that.The Type of Attention You Give: 1. Like him in a way that does not relate to something superficial, like money, how many other girls laugh at his jokes, or how popular he is. 2. Get to know his deepest secrets, even the ones that make him feel unmanly, but let him know you still think he is a real cool guy anyway. 3. Let him teach you something he knows about. Men like this position of leadership, and by letting him explain something to you, you show you care about what he cares about and respect him for his knowledge. (Knowledge is related to a mans mental capability and strength.) 4. Find out what achievements he values the most, and make him feel really awesome for doing those things. 5. Form an incredibly deep emotional connection as a friend. (This alone wont make him fall in love, it must be coupled with other stuff, especially ideas in the next lesson). 6. Be the only girl that thinks he is really really cool, when everyone else thinks hes goofy. 7. Encourage him in the goals he wants to achieve and respect him for his goals. 8. Make him believe that as his girlfriend (dont directly say this), you will do and say things that make him feel very very respected, high status, heroic, and loved.
  26. 26. Remember, when giving attention to a guy, you need to make him feel extremely manly (akahigh status, heroic, respectable, victorious, strong, capable, smart...all the things guys want to bedeep down). However, make sure what you make him feel manly in a way that relates as close aspossible to his heart and soul, or personal identity. If you think hes a real stud because he ispresident of a fraternity, that might not do as much for you as thinking he is a real stud forteaching you about his favorite subject, or a real stud, just because of who he is.Dont forget that just because he is addicted, doesnt mean he is in love with you. Remember, we are all addicted to water, but we dont obsess over it. The next lesson talks abouthow to make him realize his addiction to you and think about you a lot. If you only do this firstpart, you might very well succeed. But you also might end up in the "friend zone" because hemight not realize his addiction for you. Today you learned how to give him what hes alwayswanted (the water). Next week is how to make him thirsty, by using forms of emotionaladversity, such as uncertainty.Quiz 1. What kind of attention do you need to give a man to make him want to be with you? a. make him feel like a man because of something he has, such as a car b. make him feel like a man because of the people he associates with c. make him feel like a man because of something he is or has achieved d. dont worry about making him feel like a man, best connections are made when you make him one of the "girl-friends" 2. What is needed to make a man fall in love? a. being the type of woman he wants to be loved by is good enough b. it doesnt matter who you are, uncertainty is so powerful its good enough c. uncertainty, hope that you like him back, and personal characteristics d. just hope that you like him back 3. Making a man romantically addicted is like water mainly because: a. people cant live without water, but dont realize it until its in limited supply b. water feels good when people drink it c. giving a person enough water makes them want more water d. none of the above 4. When changing how you present yourself, you should: a. never act in a feminine way...it gives him too much power b. stay in shape, be a happy person, and go for guys who share your background and values c. speak loudly to get his attention d. tell him everything, leave nothing to mystery
  27. 27. 5. In general, as far as being manly is concerned, men are most preoccupied with: a. most guys are only worried about being physically strong, not mentally strong b. most guys just want to be nice and thats it c. guys just want a good friend, they dont care how people perceive them d. identities that relate to strength, capability, and statusAnswers: 1) C, 2) C, 3) A, 4) B, 5) DThe Training Course on How to Find a Boyfriend! Part 6In this course so far we have discussed all the different levels on which attraction takes place.However, the most recent lessons (this one and last one) focus on the emotional/romantic level.Last lesson we talked about how to get a man emotionally addicted to your attention. This week,we will make him realize his addiction to you and make him "thirsty" for your attention. Wecompared romantic desire to a person who is addicted to water. We are addicted to water, but weusually have enough of it. However, once limitations or threats are placed on how much waterwe can have, we suddenly intensely desire it.Yesterday, we talked about how to get a man addicted to the "water" that is your attention. Thisweek, we are going to talk about the final piece that makes him fall in love, mainly making himobsessed with getting that "water" and essentially making him thirsty for your attention, byadding forms of healthy adversity to your relationship.Lesson 6 - Unleash His Thirst for Your Attention and AffirmationLast lesson, we talked about the 1979 psychological research study which outlined thecomponents that were required to make a person fall in love. We saw that people dont fall inlove with just anyone, but people who meet loose predetermined criteria. We also saw that theyhad to actually want to be liked by the other person in a deep way. Finally, we saw that they wererequired to experience uncertainty with regard to the romantic feelings of the other person.This is rather crucial. The researcher (Dr. Tennov) actually found that the process of becomingobsessively in love with another person completely stopped if the person falling in love was sureof the feelings of the other person, especially early on. For example, if a guy started to getinterested in a girl, but she immediately rejected him every time he saw her, he would not fall inlove. Likewise, if he was sure she liked him back without a doubt and had no fear of loss, hewould not become obsessively in love either. This is why its bad to be too desperate on the onehand, or to be too "hard to get" on the other. When there is certainty in either direction (positiveor negative), obsession eventually dies. It dies rather quickly the earlier in the process you are.This is also why married people usually arent madly obsessed with each other their whole lives.
  28. 28. If you are still confused, this is just the whole "she loves me, she loves me not" thing. You haveto have him wondering, at least until the beginning of the relationship, whether or not you arereally into him, or just like talking to him. Remember, people dont obsess about gettingthings they already have. When you create uncertainty, it creates adversity to the romance,which is making them wonder if they actually have you or not and makes them work all thatmuch harder to get you.There are many reasons why uncertainty is an extremely powerful technique.First, it gives them a taste of what its like to be liked by you. After all, the signs you are givingthem just might mean they are in love with you. People who are uncertain imagine what it wouldbe like for another person to be all about them, without the initial awkwardness that would comefrom being sure of it. This why men often get addicted to the attention of pretty girls who are justnice to them. They imagine that the niceness could mean she likes them a lot, and they imaginewhat it would be like for such a cute woman to be obsessed with them. This makes themaddicted to what could be.However, since they are not certain that the woman likes them, men feel the withdrawal anddisappointment of knowing that the woman might not like them back at all. This constantrotation between feeling good because the girl might like him back, and feeling thedisappointment of knowing she might not, quickly addict the guy to the girls attention.Uncertainty also creates something called cognitive dissonance. As human beings, we can dosome pretty irrational things. But one thing we do not like to do is hold conflicting beliefs. Haveyou ever met a person who believed in God, but also completely did not believe in God?Probably not. Have you ever met a person who was entirely democrat and republican at the sametime? Probably not. As humans, when we come to hold two separate beliefs that end up being inconflict, we always work to resolve the confusion, rejecting one or changing both beliefs so theywork together and are consistent.The same applies to romantic uncertainty. When you create a state of confusion in anotherperson, they will work to resolve the tension between the evidence that you like them back, andthe evidence that you do not. However, if you do a really good job and the evidence is equal onboth sides, he will be in constant conflict within himself, trying to resolve the tension betweenthe two beliefs. This will ideally make him more and more obsessed, because he cant stopthinking about how to resolve the two conflicting beliefs.So in summary, uncertainty is incredibly powerful and is required to get another personromantically obsessed with you. But how to actually create uncertainty in someones mind. Itshard enough to lie to people (even though you shouldnt be doing that to begin with!). Itsespecially hard to try and get them to feel strong evidence for two conflicting ideas and to justconfuse them. So below are some practical ways to do that:
  29. 29. Ways to Create Uncertainty in a Man:Do Things that Could Have Double MeaningsGo out to eat at a fast food place: If you are good friends with a guy you like, go out to eat withhim at a sit down fast food place every week or two. This looks a lot like friends, but it alsolooks a lot like it could be something more.Share deep conversations about secrets, hopes, dreams aspirations and fears. Again this issomething that really good friends can do, but also gets people emotionally connected and maymake them wonder if something more is going on, since boyfriends and girlfriends do this all thetime.Spend a lot of time one-on-one without making a move. If a guy likes you even a little bit, thiswill be particularly confusing since you are spending time one on one, like people in arelationship, but arent making any moves, which will make him wonder if there is somethingbetween you guys.Send Him Mixed MessagesFlirt a lot really hard, but occasionally act mildly bored or tired. Make sure to be ethical aboutthis and to not go too hard in either direction. Only do this if you really really like the guy.Do nice things for him and act really into him, but one day act really out of it. This will causehim to wonder what the matter is and if he completely has you. Again, only do this if you reallylike the guy.Create other kinds of AdversityIf you have to go to college or move away, act and talk like you really like him, but expressapprehension about the fact you are moving. If done properly and not in a discouraging manner,this may motivate him to go to even move with you, or will just cause him to fall in love.If another guy besides him asks you out, go ahead mention it. Dont do this at all in a way thatmakes him actually jealous, but just let him know it happened and that you are still with him.This will make him imagine what its like to lose you, without getting jealous. Again, this one canreally backfire if you do it wrong, but make sure you do it in an informative tone, not in any waytrying to get a reaction out of him or trying to make him jealous. You just want him to appreciatethe fact that you are sought after.Remember to never lie and only do this stuff in an ethical manner. No matter what technique youare doing, deliberate misrepresentation of the truth is wrong. Sending mixed messages throughyour actions to cause confusion is one thing. Telling him untrue things and using lies to get yourway is quite another.
  30. 30. So that concludes the 2 part section on getting a guy to fall in love with you. Next time we willtalk about how to actually get into a relationship with this guy.P.S. Remember to ONLY do these last two lessons if you really really like a guy. Dont do themif you think you might end up not liking him in a few weeks. As a dating coach, I am all aboutmaking peoples lives better. If you do this only to hurt people, you arent making anyones lifebetter, because you wont be in a relationship (because you rejected him) and you will have hurthim.Quiz 1. Uncertainty is powerful because a. it creates cognitive dissonance b. it makes a person feel what its like to imagine someone else being in love with them c. it makes them feel the disappointment of knowing you might not like him back d. all of the above 2. How important is uncertainty in getting a guy really into you? a. not important, its just a helpful tool b. very important to the point that he wont be fully in love if he doesnt have at least a small amount of confusion c. the only thing that matters d. none of the above 3. Uncertainty in a man s best described by the culturally familiar phrase: a. "she loves me, she loves me not" b. "you only want what you cant have" c. "I cant live without her" d. "She is my beautiful princess" 4. One way to make a man uncertain is to: a. send mixed messages b. tell him your feelings as soon as they get strong c. never tell him your feelings and play "hard to get" d. it doesnt matter, do whatever you want around him 5. "Leading someone on" is wrong because: a. you yourself would judge someone harshly if they led you on b. it makes other peoples lives worse and leaves you without a boyfriend c. A & B d. right and wrong doesnt matter, because "all is fair in love and war"Answers: 1) D, 2) B, 3) A, 4) A, 5) C
  31. 31. The Training Course on How to Find a Boyfriend! Part 7Welcome to the final installment of the email training course on how to find a boyfriend. So far,we have covered the basic types of attraction and how to meet guys. We have also discussed howto be visually and sexually attractive and how to have good conversations. Finally, in the last twolessons, we talked about how to make a guy fall in love by giving him attention he cant livewithout and adding ethical adversity to that attention through uncertainty. However, we have stillnot yet talked about how to actually make this happen and to make him become your boyfriend.Lesson 7 - Letting Your Relationship Happen NaturallyBefore we get to specific tips and strategies, there are some things we have to go over that willmake all the other lessons more user friendly.Being AuthenticThe first issue we have to address is that all of the techniques and strategies will best benefit youwhen they are seated in your existing self and overarching personality temperament. This raises awhole number of questions. People say to always "be yourself" or "be true to yourself." But whatabout people who really should change themselves, and would be happier as a result? On the onehand we have people saying we should improve ourselves. But on the other hand we have peopletelling us to not be fake and to just be "true to ourselves." How do we resolve this problem? Howdo we all these tips, tactics and techniques but still be true to ourselves??The answer is to do them your way. You need to use the tactics and techniques in a way that iseffective but is most in sync with who you are and how you like to act. For example, believe it ornot, I like to joke around with women. However, when I do so, I do it in a way that is distinctlymy dorky self. I am still using a "tactic," because a while back I learned that it was a good idea tojoke around with members of the opposite sex, and I changed my behavior as a result. But its notlike Ive never teased someone before. So I just did the teasing in a way that was my way ofdoing it. That way, my distinct personality stayed intact, but I was able to improve the way Iinteracted with people. The same applies to you. You need to incorporate these strategies intoyour life in a way that actually works, but you need to do them your way, so we dont lose whatis truly you about the whole process.Your ValuesYou also dont want to change your values as a person just to try to attract a man. This will reallybackfire. Sticking to your values as a person is going to be the best long term strategy at getting aboyfriend that you keep. This is because if you are all about something, and the guy is not, hewill be less likely to go after you, and vice versa. You will also realize how he feels about yourvalues and passions in life, and will know if he is a good fit. It is true that a lot more people arecompatible with each other than they think (because attraction is very "event" based). However,compatibility on the level of values is extremely important, and not being ashamed of yourvalues and passions in life will help keep you from getting mismatched with someone who cantwork with your values and passions. While you dont want to be overbearing about them, if they
  32. 32. are something he knows he cant work with, or if he doesnt at least respect your values, then youboth will know that it would be best to move on before anything even starts. Trust me, I knowfrom experience.Being in the MomentEven though you have an overall social goal, such as getting a boyfriend, getting locked in yourhead and planning it all out while your talking to people is a bad idea. Focusing on every tip,technique, and strategy in these lessons as you are in the middle of talking to guys will make youless "yourself." In some things in life you can fake it. Not in social interactions. The power of asocial interaction is increased the more you can connect with them and share emotions withthem. If its all fake, it will come out sooner or later, and usually sooner. Your social interactionswill be more powerful if they are rooted in genuine emotional connections with others, instead ofjust trying to manipulate someone into a relationship, without any concern for your socialconnection in that moment.Human FreedomYou must keep in mind that people are not computer programs. You cant just throw the exacttactics together in the right sequence and absolutely guarantee a guy to like you. The problemwith products that "guarantee" success 100% of the time (which is different than productsatisfaction, by the way) is that they fail to account for human free will. Yes, you can vastlyimprove the chances that someone will do something, such as when offering them $1000 if theysimply take a check to the bank. Will they take that check to the bank? Almost certainly. Butattraction is more complex than that. The goal is to significantly improve your odds of getting aguy to like you who you want to be in a relationship with.So dont be surprised that if you use a certain technique it doesnt always translate into theresponse you thought it would. If done correctly, all these will definitely improve your chancesof having a guy like you that you want to be in a relationship with. However, all sorts of factorscould be at work behind the scenes, which affect how it all works out with a specific guy. Forexample, you may encounter a rare scenario where the guy is trained in the exact same principlesof attraction that you have been reeding in this very course! He may respond to a "mixed signal"by giving them back to you! The actual course of events that will occur during your path to therelationship cannot be guaranteed, only made more probable. You have to improvise how youapply the strategies, especially when creating uncertainty or handling situations, on how toactually respond given the specific circumstances in the situation. Ironically, recognizing thatyou dont control 100% of the situation will relax you....and improve your chances!Falling TogetherThe final strategy we will learn in these lessons is how to "fall together," or how to actuallymake the guy your boyfriend once youve increased his desire to do so.So basically, you need to work the situation so that the guy is in the situation where he is mostcomfortably able to make the next move. So if you really like him and he has walked up to you
  33. 33. to talk, you should suggest that you like to do the same things he does, or act happy that he isthere. This way, he is more likely to ask for your phone number.This also applies to dates, if you know he probably likes you already. You need to act justinterested enough that he thinks he has a pretty good chance of you saying yes to a date, butwithout totally giving away the challenge. You set it up for him as much as possible, then you lethim make the move. This way you are sure he wants to, and you dont risk getting ahead of eachother.It should feel like you guys just sort of got together, without anyone taking an extremely seriousrisk. The flirting and teasing (and of course mixed signals) are happening from your end, andhopefully some from both ends. This way you know there is "something there" but its just amatter of time before you get together. Hopefully, there are some feelings on both sides, sinceyou are putting in effort to get him, and the techniques are increasing his attraction.The Importance of DoingSo now that you have learned a ton of different strategies for how to get a boyfriend, its time toactually go try them out and be persistent about it. You see, strategy is a great thing. Withoutstrategy people wouldnt be able to do anything. When people dont research how to dosomething, they make very unfortunate mistakes that could be avoided. They also dont takeadvantage of easier and more effective ways of doing things.However, there is another trap people fall into. Some people read and read and read all sorts ofmaterial on how to do something, but they never do it. They somehow get this emotion that theyhave the power to do it at any time they please, just because they are learning a bunch ofexpertise. They get the feeling that just by learning 24/7 and not actually doing anything, thatthey are making progress.The fact is strategy is a critical element in success of anything, but its only about 20% of thebattle (albeit a 20% you have to have). Once you know how to do something, and you just readmore and more advice, without doing anything, it is of no value to you. Imagine this scenario.Imagine I could see the future. Imagine that because of that, I could tell you exactly, step by stepon how to build a Fortune 500 company that made millions and millions of dollars a year. Letsjust imagine that I wrote it out for you in a 1000 page book, telling you exactly what you had todo, each moment of everyday until you got there.Now lets ask yourself a question. Would any of that matter if you didnt put the effort intoactually doing the advice? The advice would be worth thousands, if not a million, dollars! But itwould be worthless if you had the book, but did none of it. 80% of your success is going toactually involve going out and implementing what you need to do to get this done. This is goingto take persistence and hard work.I hope you enjoyed the training course and best of luck!
  34. 34. Quiz 1. Tactics, techniques, and strategies are best done: a. blindly, like a method out of a textbook or owners manual b. strategies for relationship initiation should be ignored, because they are not your true self c. consistent with your own personality in an ethical manner d. without paying attention to the research behind them 2. In social interactions, its important to be: a. authentic and actually make a connection, because its more fun that way and increases effectiveness of your goals b. in your mind, planning each and every move as you talk to guys c. in your mind when you need to be, and authentic every other time d. be authentic, but have your own agenda and not worry about an emotional connection 3. It is important to stick with your values because: a. It makes you naturally gravitate to those who you would be most compatible with long term b. It makes you naturally weed out people who you would not get along with in a long term setting c. It makes you a stronger person with a strong sense of identity d. All of the above. 4. When getting a guy who likes you to finally be your boyfriend, you should: a. make him do most of the work b. set it up for him to make the move, and then let him make the move c. set up all the social settings of your interaction and make all the moves d. ignore him completely to make him "uncertain" as to your feelings 5. Knowledge on how to do something is: a. very important, but worthless without effort b. basically all you need to get something done c. useless, hard work and persistence is all you need d. more valuable than effort(scroll down for answers below)1) C, 2) A, 3) D, 4) B, 5) A
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