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Lec 6-
Try to improve your speech and
writing style
• Writing like speaking,
• Improper words, phrases may cause
problems, conflict, losing opportunities,
• While speaking or writing proper words
may solve problems, have a friend or
relationship, job, etc
Type of Letter
• There are many different types of letters
• Decide what type of letter you need to write and
adopt a style to suit
• Formal Letters - Usually business letters - a formal
letter format is described in this presentation
•
– Generally you will not know the recipient personally so the
format, style and structure is applied in a formal style
–
• Informal Letters - Much easier to write
– Generally you will know the recipient personally so the
content and style is applied in an informal style
Letter Writing Format
• All letters have a simple, basic format!
•
• The Salutation - Dear Mr. Smith , Dear Susan
– Formal content for someone you don't know and informal for
someone you do know!
• Three Paragraphs
– All letters should have a minimum of three paragraphs
– Opening Paragraph - reason for writing
– Middle Paragraph - the Body or the Main Text
– Closing Paragraph - Look forward to hearing from you etc.
–
• Closing the Letter
Formal Style: "Yours sincerely", "Yours faithfully"
Informal, friendly style: "Love from..."
Formal Letter Layout
• Letter Heading / Company logo
• Address Details
• Reference Number:
Date
Customer Address Details
• Dear xxxx,
• Re:
•
First Paragraph
Second and Subsequent Paragraphs
Closing Paragraph
• Yours sincerely,
• Jean Brown
Cover Letter
If your are going to apply for a job, then you
have to know how to write a cover letter.
A cover letter expresses your interest in and
qualifications for a position to a prospective
‫مستقبلية‬employer.
• Your cover letter should introduce the main points of
your resume.
• It should also help you to “sell” your qualifications to
the prospective employer.
Lec 6-
Header
Emma Markley
Human Resources Director
St. Luke's Medical Center
729 S. Paulina
Chicago, IL 60612
Dear Ms. Markley:
• Address your letter to a
specific person, ideally
to the person who will
interview you.
• Look for the person’s
name in company
publications, or phone
the organization and
ask for the person’s
name or for the
personnel manager.
Introductory Paragraph
Your first paragraph should:
• Get the reader’s attention, stimulate interest,
and be appropriate for the job you are seeking.
• Make your goal clear to readers.
• Preview the rest of your letter. Highlight the
qualifications you will discuss throughout the
letter.
Solicited Application Letters
• Solicited ‫مقصودة‬ application
letters are letters written in
response to an advertised
job opening.
• It is appropriate to mention
where you learned of the
opening in the first
paragraph.
I believe that my knowledge
of public relations and my
proven communication and
leadership skills make me a
strong candidate for the
position of Media Relations
Coordinator that was posted
by the Delta Airlines Job
Opportunities Program.
Unsolicited Application Letters
• Unsolicited application
letters are written to
companies that have not
posted a job opening.
• It is important to gain the
reader’s attention and
persuade them that you
can contribute to the
company’s goals.
As a member of one of the
fastest growing publishing
houses in the world, do you
have an opening in your
acquisitions department for
a recent college graduate
with a major in English and
publishing and editing
experience?
Goals of the Body Paragraphs
• Highlight your strongest
qualifications for the position
for which you are applying.
• Demonstrate how these
qualifications will benefit the
employer.
• Refer employers to your
enclosed resume.
Detailing Your Experience
• Show (don’t tell) employers
your qualifications
• Include specific, credible
examples of your
qualifications for the
position.
• Use numbers, names of
equipment you've used, or
features of a project that
may apply to the job you
want.
As a banking
representative at Bank
One, I provided quality
customer service while
promoting the sale of
products to customers.
I also handled upwards of
$20,000 a day and was
responsible for
balancing the bank’s
ATM machine.
Using Active Language—Don’ts
• Don’t be vague in your
descriptions.
• Don’t use weak verbs
such as endeavored ‫حاول‬
‫,جاهدا‬ tried, hoped, and
attempted.
• Don’t use sexist language
such as chairman and
manpower.
Vague: I worked as a
agent at Company.
Weak: I attempted to
attract customers.
Using Active Language—Do’s
• Use concrete words to
describe your experience.
• Use present tense to
discuss current activities
and past tense for
previous job duties or
accomplishments.
• Be as specific as possible
in descriptions; list dollar
amounts and figures when
you can.
Vague: I worked as a ramp agent
for COMAIR.
Specific: As a ramp agent, I
assisted in loading baggage,
oversaw fueling the aircraft, and
stocked commissary items on
the aircraft.
Weak: I attempted to attract
customers.
Strong: I initiated a program to
attract customers to Pizza Hut,
which resulted in a 5% increase
in sales for the month of June.
Organizing Your Letter
• In general, cover letters should be no longer than
one typed page.
• Organize your body paragraphs to emphasize your
strongest and most relevant qualifications.
• Only include the two or three strongest
qualifications from your resume.
• Make it easy for readers to scan your letter by
beginning each paragraph with a topic sentence.
Concluding Your Letter
I would welcome the
opportunity to discuss
these and other
qualifications with you.
If you are interested, please
contact me at (317) 555-
0118 any morning before
11:00 a.m., or feel free to
leave a message.
• Conclude by asking for a
personal interview.
• Be flexible regarding a
date and time for the
interview.
• Be specific about how the
interviewer should
contact you.
• Include a thank you.
Key Points to Remember
• Appeal to company values, attitudes, goals, projects,
etc.
• Elaborate ‫فصل‬on the information in your resume.
• Provide evidence of your qualifications.
• Proofread ‫نقح‬carefully for grammatical and typographical
errors. The letter should be error-free.
Tips for Writing cover letters
Lengthy version Concise
You will please find enclosed… Enclosed is…
I am in receipt of… I received…
In reply, I wish to state… In reply, …
I wish to assure you that… Please know that…
I will take steps to… I will…
Beginning a cover letter
• I am submitting my credentials ‫اعتماد‬ ‫اوراق‬
for your consideration…
• Avoid overuse of “I” when starting a
sentence.
• Alternatives:
– This letter is being submitted…
– This is to express my interest in…
Examples of phrases in cover letters
• To keep myself updated, …
• This year I successfully completed …
• I took part in a research study … under the
direction of…
• As a member of an international team …
• I will continue to participate in educational
activities that will update my skills…
Effective writing (1 of 3)
• Research the position! Who is the
decision-maker? Read his/her
• publications. What are his/her needs?
Write to that person and reflect that
knowledge.
• Mention their needs and how you can
meet those needs.
Effective writing (2 of 3)
• Avoid seeming pretentious ‫مدعى‬ .
• Be specific but brief about your
accomplishments.
Effective writing (3 of 3)
• Avoid overused clichés; instead be
descriptive and positive.
• Pay attention to detail.
• Get someone to proofread your letter.
Ending a cover letter
• At this time, I would request that you consider
my candidacy for a position.
• Enclosed please find my credentials for your
consideration.
• I look forward to hearing from you.
• If you should have any questions, please give
me a call at …
Elements of Bad Cover Letters
• Poor overall appearance
• Poor grammar, punctuation, and
misspelled words.
• Rambling – lack of focus
• Self-focused versus employer focused
• Gross exaggeration‫مبالغة‬ – bragging
• Aggressive, pushy tone
Covering letter- sample
• Address
• City, State,
• Date
• Margaret W. Willis
• Director
• Peach Tree Day Care Center
• 7120 Greenwood Ave.
• Beltsville, MD 21000
• Dear Dr. Willis:
• Having worked in three day care centers as a volunteer and student
intern, I was quite excited to learn from Professor Jan Jenkins that you
have an opening for a teacher at Peach Tree Day Care Center.
• I would very much like to be considered for that position and feel
qualified for several reasons.
• According to Dr. Jenkins, you are
interested in incorporating educational
objectives into play programs.
• I am not only committed to such an
approach but, as my enclosed resume
illustrates, I have had the opportunity to
design and implement such programs at
two different day care facilities.
• I would appreciate the opportunity to
discuss these and other experiences with
you and to find out more about Peach
Tree. Spring break lasts from March x
through the x. Would it be possible to meet
with you some time then?
• I look forward to hearing from you soon.
• Sincerely,
• Michele Nittany
CV’s and Resumes
CV’s
• Write “Curriculum Vitae” at the top
• #1: most recent or highest level of education
• Emphasizes scholastic achievement and
ability
• List educational data in chronological ‫زمنى‬
order
• Experience supports formal studies
• Do not include irrelevant material
• Proofread for any errors!
Resumes
• Emphasizes work experience
• Do NOT write “Resume” at the top
• After your name and contact info., state “Job
Objective”
• Education supports work experience
• Include related data
• “References Upon Request”
THANK YOU LETTERS
Why write a thank you letter?
• To remind the interviewers of who you are
• To leave a positive impression on
interviewers
• To remind them of why they should choose
you
• To let them know your interest in the
program
• To let them know why you think their
program is a good fit for you
Guidelines for writing TY letters
• Send within 24 hours or certainly within 1
week
• Why?
– To do so demonstrates your professionalism
– If you wait, you appear less interested
– You may forget details if you wait
– They may forget you, the longer you wait
Preparation for writing TY letters
• Before the interview
– Get names, correct spellings of all interviewers
– Read program brochure, institution web site,
articles on PubMed
• During the interview
– Take notes on program strengths/weaknesses
– Mention things that you can refer to in your
letter
Preparation (continued)
• After the interview
– Check names and spellings of names
– Write the thank you letter immediately
Anatomy of a thank you letter
• Paragraph 1:
Remind interviewer of what you came for and when.
Mention briefly your appreciation of being granted an
interview or being pleased to meet them. Appreciate
whatever they provided for you. Mention names of all
interviewers.
• Paragraph 2:
Appreciate any characteristics about the program and
where you learned this during the day. Elaborate on
this and how it relates to you.
Anatomy of a TY letter (continued)
• Paragraph 3:
Say how you see yourself fitting into the
program and specify why. What are the
reasons you would like to be there? Be
specific. What are you looking forward to?
• Paragraph 4:
Close by saying you were glad to meet them
and how (in what way) you will contribute to
their program. Make sure you put your
telephone # and/or e-mail address here if you
don’t put it at the top.
Words/phrases to avoid; what to
replace them with (slide 1 of 9)
AVOID
• overused, general words such as “nice,”
“interesting,” “like,” “good,” “great.”
REPLACE WITH
• more specific, descriptive words (What do
you really feel about the interview, the
interviewers, the program?)
Words/phrases (continued)
(slide 2 of 9)
AVOID
• any (or most) reference to anything negative
REPLACE WITH
• how you could contribute to the program
AVOID
• elaborate or complex sentence structures esp. if
you are unfamiliar with their exact connotation in
English
REPLACE WITH
• simpler sentences that get right to the point
Words/phrases (continued)
(slide 3 of 9)
SPECIFIC PHRASES TO AVOID
• I want to thank you for an opportunity to get
acquainted with your program. (You get
acquainted with a person, not a program –
“acquainted” is too informal for a thank you letter.)
REPLACE WITH
• This is to thank you for the opportunity to meet with
you on X Date regarding my candidacy… (Present
yourself as a strong candidate, forthright – but not
pushy.)
Words/phrases (continued)
(slide 4 of 9)
SPECIFIC PHRASES TO AVOID
• I was really impressed with big improvement that
your program had during the last two years…
(This could be interpreted as insulting. It seems as if
you’re surprised that they could do that well,
considering what you’d heard about them.)
REPLACE WITH
• I was struck by learning that your program made
strong strides in the past two years…
Words/phrases (continued)
(slide 5 of 9)
SPECIFIC PHRASES TO AVOID
• I also rate highly that faculty member in this small
community hospital are friendly and supportive.
(Be careful in using the word “small.” In the U.S.,
this could be considered an insult.)
REPLACE WITH
• And, the friendly and supportive atmosphere
created by faculty members in this community-
based hospital are definite pluses. (“Definite
pluses” is preferable to “rate highly.”)
Words/phrases (continued)
(slide 6 of 9)
SPECIFIC PHRASES TO AVOID
• I wish that my hard work and knowledge will
make a good contribution to your program. (“I
wish” is grammatically incorrect here; “I hope” is
correct, but weak.)
REPLACE WITH
• If selected, I will contribute with both my
knowledge and hard work to the fullest extent to
benefit your program. (Better to say how you will
contribute and at what “level.”)
Words/phrases (continued)
(slide 7 of 9)
SPECIFIC PHRASES TO AVOID
• I really enjoyed my day Thursday. (Or, I
really enjoyed the time you showed me
Thursday.) (This sounds either like a
pleasure trip or a romantic interlude.)
REPLACE WITH
• I enjoyed meeting with all of you to discuss
the program and to learn about the work
you are doing. (Maintain the professional
tone of the letter.)
Words/phrases (continued)
(slide 8 of 9)
SPECIFIC PHRASES TO AVOID
• I am amazed with the Nerve Line Computer System, in
order to find all recent information. (Your letter should
sound as professional as you are. “Amazed” is something
that children usually are when they learn something new.
The style is awkward and unsophisticated. The verb tense
is incorrect – “am” vs. “was.”)
REPLACE WITH
• I was very impressed by the technology available with the
Nerve Line Computer System (“Impressed” or “Fascinated”
is much stronger and adult than “amazed.” “Technology” is
superior to “all recent information.”)
Words/phrases (continued)
(slide 9 of 9)
SPECIFIC PHRASES TO AVOID
• I hope we will work together in the future. (This sounds
both juvenile and overly expectant.)
REPLACE WITH
• Again, I am delighted to have had the chance to meet
with you with regard to my candidacy. (Retain your
integrity while indicating that you are interested in the
position.)

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Lec 6-

  • 2. Try to improve your speech and writing style • Writing like speaking, • Improper words, phrases may cause problems, conflict, losing opportunities, • While speaking or writing proper words may solve problems, have a friend or relationship, job, etc
  • 3. Type of Letter • There are many different types of letters • Decide what type of letter you need to write and adopt a style to suit • Formal Letters - Usually business letters - a formal letter format is described in this presentation • – Generally you will not know the recipient personally so the format, style and structure is applied in a formal style – • Informal Letters - Much easier to write – Generally you will know the recipient personally so the content and style is applied in an informal style
  • 4. Letter Writing Format • All letters have a simple, basic format! • • The Salutation - Dear Mr. Smith , Dear Susan – Formal content for someone you don't know and informal for someone you do know! • Three Paragraphs – All letters should have a minimum of three paragraphs – Opening Paragraph - reason for writing – Middle Paragraph - the Body or the Main Text – Closing Paragraph - Look forward to hearing from you etc. – • Closing the Letter Formal Style: "Yours sincerely", "Yours faithfully" Informal, friendly style: "Love from..."
  • 5. Formal Letter Layout • Letter Heading / Company logo • Address Details • Reference Number: Date Customer Address Details • Dear xxxx, • Re: • First Paragraph Second and Subsequent Paragraphs Closing Paragraph • Yours sincerely, • Jean Brown
  • 6. Cover Letter If your are going to apply for a job, then you have to know how to write a cover letter. A cover letter expresses your interest in and qualifications for a position to a prospective ‫مستقبلية‬employer. • Your cover letter should introduce the main points of your resume. • It should also help you to “sell” your qualifications to the prospective employer.
  • 8. Header Emma Markley Human Resources Director St. Luke's Medical Center 729 S. Paulina Chicago, IL 60612 Dear Ms. Markley: • Address your letter to a specific person, ideally to the person who will interview you. • Look for the person’s name in company publications, or phone the organization and ask for the person’s name or for the personnel manager.
  • 9. Introductory Paragraph Your first paragraph should: • Get the reader’s attention, stimulate interest, and be appropriate for the job you are seeking. • Make your goal clear to readers. • Preview the rest of your letter. Highlight the qualifications you will discuss throughout the letter.
  • 10. Solicited Application Letters • Solicited ‫مقصودة‬ application letters are letters written in response to an advertised job opening. • It is appropriate to mention where you learned of the opening in the first paragraph. I believe that my knowledge of public relations and my proven communication and leadership skills make me a strong candidate for the position of Media Relations Coordinator that was posted by the Delta Airlines Job Opportunities Program.
  • 11. Unsolicited Application Letters • Unsolicited application letters are written to companies that have not posted a job opening. • It is important to gain the reader’s attention and persuade them that you can contribute to the company’s goals. As a member of one of the fastest growing publishing houses in the world, do you have an opening in your acquisitions department for a recent college graduate with a major in English and publishing and editing experience?
  • 12. Goals of the Body Paragraphs • Highlight your strongest qualifications for the position for which you are applying. • Demonstrate how these qualifications will benefit the employer. • Refer employers to your enclosed resume.
  • 13. Detailing Your Experience • Show (don’t tell) employers your qualifications • Include specific, credible examples of your qualifications for the position. • Use numbers, names of equipment you've used, or features of a project that may apply to the job you want. As a banking representative at Bank One, I provided quality customer service while promoting the sale of products to customers. I also handled upwards of $20,000 a day and was responsible for balancing the bank’s ATM machine.
  • 14. Using Active Language—Don’ts • Don’t be vague in your descriptions. • Don’t use weak verbs such as endeavored ‫حاول‬ ‫,جاهدا‬ tried, hoped, and attempted. • Don’t use sexist language such as chairman and manpower. Vague: I worked as a agent at Company. Weak: I attempted to attract customers.
  • 15. Using Active Language—Do’s • Use concrete words to describe your experience. • Use present tense to discuss current activities and past tense for previous job duties or accomplishments. • Be as specific as possible in descriptions; list dollar amounts and figures when you can. Vague: I worked as a ramp agent for COMAIR. Specific: As a ramp agent, I assisted in loading baggage, oversaw fueling the aircraft, and stocked commissary items on the aircraft. Weak: I attempted to attract customers. Strong: I initiated a program to attract customers to Pizza Hut, which resulted in a 5% increase in sales for the month of June.
  • 16. Organizing Your Letter • In general, cover letters should be no longer than one typed page. • Organize your body paragraphs to emphasize your strongest and most relevant qualifications. • Only include the two or three strongest qualifications from your resume. • Make it easy for readers to scan your letter by beginning each paragraph with a topic sentence.
  • 17. Concluding Your Letter I would welcome the opportunity to discuss these and other qualifications with you. If you are interested, please contact me at (317) 555- 0118 any morning before 11:00 a.m., or feel free to leave a message. • Conclude by asking for a personal interview. • Be flexible regarding a date and time for the interview. • Be specific about how the interviewer should contact you. • Include a thank you.
  • 18. Key Points to Remember • Appeal to company values, attitudes, goals, projects, etc. • Elaborate ‫فصل‬on the information in your resume. • Provide evidence of your qualifications. • Proofread ‫نقح‬carefully for grammatical and typographical errors. The letter should be error-free.
  • 19. Tips for Writing cover letters Lengthy version Concise You will please find enclosed… Enclosed is… I am in receipt of… I received… In reply, I wish to state… In reply, … I wish to assure you that… Please know that… I will take steps to… I will…
  • 20. Beginning a cover letter • I am submitting my credentials ‫اعتماد‬ ‫اوراق‬ for your consideration… • Avoid overuse of “I” when starting a sentence. • Alternatives: – This letter is being submitted… – This is to express my interest in…
  • 21. Examples of phrases in cover letters • To keep myself updated, … • This year I successfully completed … • I took part in a research study … under the direction of… • As a member of an international team … • I will continue to participate in educational activities that will update my skills…
  • 22. Effective writing (1 of 3) • Research the position! Who is the decision-maker? Read his/her • publications. What are his/her needs? Write to that person and reflect that knowledge. • Mention their needs and how you can meet those needs.
  • 23. Effective writing (2 of 3) • Avoid seeming pretentious ‫مدعى‬ . • Be specific but brief about your accomplishments.
  • 24. Effective writing (3 of 3) • Avoid overused clichés; instead be descriptive and positive. • Pay attention to detail. • Get someone to proofread your letter.
  • 25. Ending a cover letter • At this time, I would request that you consider my candidacy for a position. • Enclosed please find my credentials for your consideration. • I look forward to hearing from you. • If you should have any questions, please give me a call at …
  • 26. Elements of Bad Cover Letters • Poor overall appearance • Poor grammar, punctuation, and misspelled words. • Rambling – lack of focus • Self-focused versus employer focused • Gross exaggeration‫مبالغة‬ – bragging • Aggressive, pushy tone
  • 27. Covering letter- sample • Address • City, State, • Date • Margaret W. Willis • Director • Peach Tree Day Care Center • 7120 Greenwood Ave. • Beltsville, MD 21000 • Dear Dr. Willis: • Having worked in three day care centers as a volunteer and student intern, I was quite excited to learn from Professor Jan Jenkins that you have an opening for a teacher at Peach Tree Day Care Center. • I would very much like to be considered for that position and feel qualified for several reasons.
  • 28. • According to Dr. Jenkins, you are interested in incorporating educational objectives into play programs. • I am not only committed to such an approach but, as my enclosed resume illustrates, I have had the opportunity to design and implement such programs at two different day care facilities.
  • 29. • I would appreciate the opportunity to discuss these and other experiences with you and to find out more about Peach Tree. Spring break lasts from March x through the x. Would it be possible to meet with you some time then? • I look forward to hearing from you soon. • Sincerely, • Michele Nittany
  • 31. CV’s • Write “Curriculum Vitae” at the top • #1: most recent or highest level of education • Emphasizes scholastic achievement and ability • List educational data in chronological ‫زمنى‬ order • Experience supports formal studies • Do not include irrelevant material • Proofread for any errors!
  • 32. Resumes • Emphasizes work experience • Do NOT write “Resume” at the top • After your name and contact info., state “Job Objective” • Education supports work experience • Include related data • “References Upon Request”
  • 34. Why write a thank you letter? • To remind the interviewers of who you are • To leave a positive impression on interviewers • To remind them of why they should choose you • To let them know your interest in the program • To let them know why you think their program is a good fit for you
  • 35. Guidelines for writing TY letters • Send within 24 hours or certainly within 1 week • Why? – To do so demonstrates your professionalism – If you wait, you appear less interested – You may forget details if you wait – They may forget you, the longer you wait
  • 36. Preparation for writing TY letters • Before the interview – Get names, correct spellings of all interviewers – Read program brochure, institution web site, articles on PubMed • During the interview – Take notes on program strengths/weaknesses – Mention things that you can refer to in your letter
  • 37. Preparation (continued) • After the interview – Check names and spellings of names – Write the thank you letter immediately
  • 38. Anatomy of a thank you letter • Paragraph 1: Remind interviewer of what you came for and when. Mention briefly your appreciation of being granted an interview or being pleased to meet them. Appreciate whatever they provided for you. Mention names of all interviewers. • Paragraph 2: Appreciate any characteristics about the program and where you learned this during the day. Elaborate on this and how it relates to you.
  • 39. Anatomy of a TY letter (continued) • Paragraph 3: Say how you see yourself fitting into the program and specify why. What are the reasons you would like to be there? Be specific. What are you looking forward to? • Paragraph 4: Close by saying you were glad to meet them and how (in what way) you will contribute to their program. Make sure you put your telephone # and/or e-mail address here if you don’t put it at the top.
  • 40. Words/phrases to avoid; what to replace them with (slide 1 of 9) AVOID • overused, general words such as “nice,” “interesting,” “like,” “good,” “great.” REPLACE WITH • more specific, descriptive words (What do you really feel about the interview, the interviewers, the program?)
  • 41. Words/phrases (continued) (slide 2 of 9) AVOID • any (or most) reference to anything negative REPLACE WITH • how you could contribute to the program AVOID • elaborate or complex sentence structures esp. if you are unfamiliar with their exact connotation in English REPLACE WITH • simpler sentences that get right to the point
  • 42. Words/phrases (continued) (slide 3 of 9) SPECIFIC PHRASES TO AVOID • I want to thank you for an opportunity to get acquainted with your program. (You get acquainted with a person, not a program – “acquainted” is too informal for a thank you letter.) REPLACE WITH • This is to thank you for the opportunity to meet with you on X Date regarding my candidacy… (Present yourself as a strong candidate, forthright – but not pushy.)
  • 43. Words/phrases (continued) (slide 4 of 9) SPECIFIC PHRASES TO AVOID • I was really impressed with big improvement that your program had during the last two years… (This could be interpreted as insulting. It seems as if you’re surprised that they could do that well, considering what you’d heard about them.) REPLACE WITH • I was struck by learning that your program made strong strides in the past two years…
  • 44. Words/phrases (continued) (slide 5 of 9) SPECIFIC PHRASES TO AVOID • I also rate highly that faculty member in this small community hospital are friendly and supportive. (Be careful in using the word “small.” In the U.S., this could be considered an insult.) REPLACE WITH • And, the friendly and supportive atmosphere created by faculty members in this community- based hospital are definite pluses. (“Definite pluses” is preferable to “rate highly.”)
  • 45. Words/phrases (continued) (slide 6 of 9) SPECIFIC PHRASES TO AVOID • I wish that my hard work and knowledge will make a good contribution to your program. (“I wish” is grammatically incorrect here; “I hope” is correct, but weak.) REPLACE WITH • If selected, I will contribute with both my knowledge and hard work to the fullest extent to benefit your program. (Better to say how you will contribute and at what “level.”)
  • 46. Words/phrases (continued) (slide 7 of 9) SPECIFIC PHRASES TO AVOID • I really enjoyed my day Thursday. (Or, I really enjoyed the time you showed me Thursday.) (This sounds either like a pleasure trip or a romantic interlude.) REPLACE WITH • I enjoyed meeting with all of you to discuss the program and to learn about the work you are doing. (Maintain the professional tone of the letter.)
  • 47. Words/phrases (continued) (slide 8 of 9) SPECIFIC PHRASES TO AVOID • I am amazed with the Nerve Line Computer System, in order to find all recent information. (Your letter should sound as professional as you are. “Amazed” is something that children usually are when they learn something new. The style is awkward and unsophisticated. The verb tense is incorrect – “am” vs. “was.”) REPLACE WITH • I was very impressed by the technology available with the Nerve Line Computer System (“Impressed” or “Fascinated” is much stronger and adult than “amazed.” “Technology” is superior to “all recent information.”)
  • 48. Words/phrases (continued) (slide 9 of 9) SPECIFIC PHRASES TO AVOID • I hope we will work together in the future. (This sounds both juvenile and overly expectant.) REPLACE WITH • Again, I am delighted to have had the chance to meet with you with regard to my candidacy. (Retain your integrity while indicating that you are interested in the position.)