The document lists various amusing and unconventional patents, including a urinal headrest, a device for killing rodents, and a watch that calculates life expectancy. Other notable patents include an alarming wake-up call mechanism, a wearable pet display for hamsters, and pierced glasses. The text highlights the absurdity of some inventions while suggesting that even silly ideas can potentially succeed.

1. FUNNIEST PATENTS

2. PATENT NO. 6,681,419: URINAL
HEADREST
It’s hard to believe
that someone
actually thought
that a headrest
placed above
urinals was a great
idea. This 2004
patent provided a
padded support
where users could
rest their head
while relieving

3. PATENT NO. 269,766: RODENT
BLASTER
This device
contained a
firearm that
could be aimed
at the opening of
an animal
burrow. When
the animal
emerged the gun
would fire,
supposedly
killing the
animal.

4. PATENT NO. 5,031,161: CALCULATE
YOUR LIFE EXPECTANCY: WATCH
The subject of this 1991 patent
allowed users to calculate their
life expectancy with actuarial
tables and individual health
factors. This data was
programmed into a watch that
counts down the estimated
years, months and minutes the
user will likely live.

5. PATENT NO. 256,265: AN ALARMING
WAKE-UP CALL
This is a solution for those
of you who are so used to
your alarm clock’s sound
that you no longer hear it. It
involves hanging a
lightweight frame over your
head at night. It’s attached
by a cord to an automatic
release so that it falls on you
when the alarm goes off.
The inventor is careful to
note that the frame should
be light enough “to awaken
the sleeper, but not heavy
enough to cause pain.”

6. PATENT NO. 5,901,666: WEARABLE PET
DISPLAY
If you’ve ever wished you
could bring your hamster
everywhere you go, then
you should invest in this
pet display clothing. It’s a
vest or belt that features a
hamster habitat complete
with transparent
passageways and pockets
for feeding.

7. PATENT NO. 4,233,942: PET EAR
PROTECTORS
Long-eared dogs are
prone to dragging
those ears through
their food. This
means endless clean
up unless this
solution is used.
Think of it as two
toilet paper tubes
connected by elastic.
The tubes go on the
dogs ears, making
them stick out but
effectively keeping
them out of the

8. PATENT NO. 7,066,592: PIERCED
GLASSES
Losing
eyeglasses is
frustrating, but
that problem
ends when the
lenses are
pierced into the
bridge of your
nose. It might
be painful, but
you’ll always
know where
your glasses
are.

9. PATENT NO. 6,637,447:
BEERBRELLA
It’s annoying when the sun
warms up your beer. That’s
why there’s a patent for the
beerbrella, an umbrella that
attaches to a bottle to
shield it from the sun. It
also keeps out the rain if
you’re drinking outdoors in
a shower.
It’s fun to make fun of
patents that seem
ridiculous but it’s
sometimes the silly idea
that can turn out to be
successful. If you do have
any ideas please contact the
Law Offices of Jeff Williams
for help with any patent