How to Explain a Diagnosis to a Child (www.amazon.com) is a resource to guide parents and professionals through what can be a very sensitive process. This step-by-step guide includes templates and worksheets that can be tailored to meet the individual needs of the child and their families embrace who they are, regardless of a diagnosis. This may include Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), Learning Disabilities (LDs), Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD), Dyslexia, Cerebral Palsy, etc. This guide may help answer those difficult questions regarding: • Why parents decide to tell? • Why parents may not tell? • When to tell? • Who should tell? • What information to share? • How do I explain? Sessions include various topics such as celebrating differences, reviewing strengths and challenges, identifying learning style, understanding relationships, addressing questions about a diagnosis and others. This guide may help to build a child’s confidence and empower them to advocate for themselves.

1. www.findingsolutions.ca

2. Jay’s story
My name is Jayden and I am 12 years
old. I have light brown hair, brown
eyes, and I love to snow board. I
want to let you know that even
though I have a learning disability
and ADHD, I don’t think it is a
problem. It means that I am just as
smart as everyone else, but I just
have to think differently about things
or sometimes work a bit harder, but
who cares, sometimes we all have to
work a bit harder in life. This book
not only helped me but can help
everybody understand that having a
disability is not a problem and you
should be happy with who you are,
because I am!

4.  The goal of explaining a diagnosis is not to
further isolate, but to build self-awareness
and knowledge of one’s own abilities. Once a
child has this understanding, they can truly
accept and be proud of who they are. When
kids have a better understanding of
themselves, their areas of strength and
challenges, they are better equipped to
advocate for themselves.
Arnold and McLeod, 2017

5. “My family worked so hard to help me realize that
having this diagnosis is nothing to be ashamed of,
and one that truly makes me who I am. Having
known about my diagnosis has helped me to work
hard to show others that I can in fact learn and
work towards my dreams. Now I am always thrilled
to tell people that I have a learning disability, was
an honours student, won awards for top marks (in
math, science, and computer courses) and have
completed my B.Sc.”
Caylin, young adult with an LD

6.  Lower self-esteem/confidence
 Sense of isolation or not belonging
 Blaming others for their actions
 Making wrong assumptions about situations
around them
 Depression or anxiety

8.  Being able to ask for help from trusted
individuals
 Speaking up for yourself
 Getting information that you need
 Knowing your rights and responsibilities

9. Successful people:
 Pursue post secondary education
 Take personal responsibility
 Demonstrate self-determination and self-
advocacy
 Show social competence
 Have vocational competence

10. “If we want to achieve this goal of producing,
self-sufficient citizens, and students with
disabilities, are to become more self-sufficient
and better able to manage their own lives,
promoting self-determination skills needs to
become a critical part of the educational
program from the moment students enter the
educational system.”
Wehmeyer, Sands, Doll and Paulmer, 1997

11. Self-determination:
 Choice/decision making skills
 Problem solving skills
 Goal setting
 Independence and safety skills
 Self-regulation/self-management
 Self-advocacy
 Self-awareness/self knowledge
Wehmeyer, Gragoudas, and Shogren, 2006

12. “One of the most important aspects of
supporting youth to attain happiness, success
and competence is teaching them how to set
and attain goals.”
Copeland and Hughes, 2002

13.  Decide together
 It’s never to early to build self-advocacy and
self-awareness skills
 Are they asking questions?
 How old is your child?
 How socially aware are they?
 Let your child guide you

14.  Deciding when to tell your child is not always
easy and often is not agreed upon between
you and your partner. There really is no exact
age or time that is correct for all families. As
a family, you may want to think about your
child’s age, their social awareness and their
current understanding of their abilities. Have
they already begun to make comments or ask
questions about their “difference”? If so, this
may be a good time to begin.
Arnold and McLeod, 2017

15.  Start by identifying their talents and
strengths.
 A positive mind-set can set the stage to
manage possible future challenges.

16. Instead of…. Try thinking…
 I am not good at this
 I don’t know how to do
this
 I made a mistake
 I will never…
 It’s good enough
 What am I missing
 I don't know how to do
this yet
 Mistakes help be
improve
 One day I will…
 Is this really my best
work?

17.  Have your child draw a picture/self-portrait
that represents who they are.
 Questions you can ask while reflecting on the
self-portrait may include:
◦ “What do you most like about being you?”,
◦ “Is there anything you would want to change?”
◦ “What do you think is the first thing others notice
about you?”

18.  Celebrate differences
 Highlight we are all unique and important
 Different is NOT negative

21.  Identify challenges
 Explain to your child that we all have things
that may be challenging for us, especially
when it comes to learning, but sometimes
what may be challenging now may become
one of our many accomplishments later in
life.

23.  Consider sitting down with your child and
researching famous individuals who may also
have the same diagnosis as your child to help
show how much they have achieved in life,
even with a diagnosis.

24.  Create self-advocacy cards. Review the
information from previous conversations and
have your child write down all the things they
would like their teachers (or others) to know
about themselves.
https://www.ldatschool.ca/a-teachers-
journey-with-student-self-advocacy/

27.  As parents you may not have all the answers,
so seeking additional professional support
(e.g., psychologist, social worker, or
therapist) may not only benefit your child, but
their siblings and you as well.

28.  Be patient with the process and your child.
 Provide support and reinforcement that you
love them, and that you are on this journey
together.

29.  Keep the conversation going.
 Another factor to consider when explaining
the diagnosis to your child is helping them
understand who they can tell about their own
diagnosis.

31. This much-needed resource truly captures the individual
needs of each child, and allows families and professionals to
take their time to help guide children through a difficult
transition. Being able to understand what it means to have a
disability can be overwhelming for many individuals. As
parents, we want to be the role models for our children to
teach them to be able to advocate and to embrace their
disability, and know that all children have strengths and to
be able to work from there. This insightful and practical
book should be in the hands of all parents to ensure that
their child is successful in embracing their diagnosis. It is of
utmost importance for parents to reach out to community
resources for support and encouragement, and to always
remember that YOU are not alone in this journey.

32. http://www.addadult.com/add-education-center/famous-
people-with-adhd/
http://www.templegrandin.com/
http://www.teachhub.com/12-successful-stars-learning-disabilities
https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=celebrities+with+disabilities&
qpvt=celebrities+with+disabilities&FORM=IGRE
Copeland and Hughes, 2002
Wehmeyer, Gragoudas, and Shogren, 2006
Wehmeyer, Sands, Doll and Paulmer, 1997