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2. Many people don't think they are
assertive enough.

3. To be sure, speaking up on your own
behalf, or those around you, is a good
skill to have.

4. And just like learning any skill,
especially a skill that is based on how
you interact with others, you're going
to expand your comfort zone.

5. And for many, this means getting some
unexpected blowback from others.

6. For example, many of your friends like
you because of the way you are now.
Then you come along and start
speaking up more for your wants,
needs, and desires, and suddenly you
don't seem like that nice, passive guy
or gal they used to know.

7. I've heard from a few assertiveness
trainers that often times,
"assertiveness training" is synonymous
with "loneliness training."

8. It's also a common idea that if you
always need to be "right" you won't
win any friends.

9. In fact, in Dale Carnegie's famous
book, being "right" all the time is the
surest way to destroy friendships and
alienate people.

10. This is a common and unexpected
outcome when people learn and begin
to play around with the "meta-model."

11. The meta model is a set of language
patterns that are designed to get more
specific information whenever people
are speaking in vague language.

12. For example, if I said, "I had chicken
for dinner last night," you could use
the meta model to find out what kind
of chicken, how did I eat it, who did I
eat it with, how long did I take to eat
it, how was it cooked, and on and on.

13. Now, you can imagine if I was just
saying that conversationally, grilling
me about my chicken dinner (see what
I did there?) wouldn't likely make me
more interested in you. It would likely
have the opposite effect.

14. However, the meta model (finding out
more specific information by asking
why, when, how, etc.) can be a
FANTASTIC tool when getting the
person talking about the thing they
REALLY want to talk about.

15. For example, think of your biggest
life's dream, right now. This is not
something you generally walk up and
start talking about.

16. But if it comes up conversationally, and
somebody seems genuinely interested
in YOUR DREAM, and they start asking
meta model questions, based on their
interest, it will generally feel pretty
good.

17. Of course, if their interest was totally
fake, you'd think they were warming
you up for some kind of MLM pitch.

18. But if it was genuine, and they really
liked the fact that you had a dream,
and wanted to find out more, chances
are you'd feel pretty good talking to
them.

19. As you can probably guess, YOU can be
that person who's extremely
interesting to talk to.

20. Simply get out of your own head,
forget about proving how right you
are, and simply look for the treasure in
others.

21. Do this, and they'll never forget you.

22. mindpersuasion.com/charisma/