2. One of the nicest things you can do for
anybody is to simply pay attention to
them.
3. Most of us have all kinds of thoughts,
ideas, dreams, that NEVER leave our
brains.
4. Maybe once in a while, we'll spit out a
quick piece of evidence.
5. Maybe we're afraid people will laugh
at us, maybe we're afraid somebody
will tell us our ideas our foolish.
6. But the truth is, when we are bold
enough to speak just a small bit of our
true selves, it feels REALLY good when
somebody not only listens without
laughing, but is genuinely interested in
what we've got to say.
7. In order to be the one doing the
listening, you've got to be careful.
8. Many of us have a subconscious desire
to "be right" or "be in charge."
9. Social status is something that we all
crave, and recent studies from Harvard
have shown that wanting increased
social status is something that
underpins pretty much every
conversation we have with somebody.
10. So it can be very, very difficult to put
your own opinions, desires and beliefs
aside and really listen.
11. This is one those times when you've
got to be your higher self.
12. To ignore those lower-self instincts,
and live fully consciously.
15. The simplest way to really listen is to
simply PAY ATTENTION to the words
and phrases they use, and HOW they
use them.
16. Then, when describing what they've
just described, instead of
"paraphrasing" them, like some folks
teach, use the EXACT same words, in
the EXACT same way they did.
17. Now, this sounds like you'll come
across as fake and manipulative, and
you will if you're not being sincere.
18. But if you repeat their words and
phrases while fully trying to imagine
whatever they were imagining when
they said it, the results are
flabbergasting.
19. Not only will they light up like a
Christmas tree, but they'll NEVER
forget you.
20. They'll see you as somebody who
really gets them. Somebody who really
understands them.