2. Unwanted Pornography & Other Forms of
Same Sex Attraction Masturbation Sexual & Relational
Addiction Brokenness
Support those who struggle
to grow in their relationship with God
...and
Equip the church
Equip the church some
about
to understand the issues and grow in love related
homosexuality...
issues
3. Comes from God Comes from Satan
Acknowledges Your Sin Acknowledges Your Sin
Upholds Your Value Attacks Your Value
Drives Your Towards God Drives You Away From God
and His People and His People
Bad Things ≠ Worthless Bad Things = Worthless
GRACE WORKS
Actions ≠ Worth Actions = Worth
4. Comes from God Comes from Satan Comes from Satan
Acknowledges Your Sin Acknowledges Your Sin Disregards Your Sin
Upholds Your Value Attacks Your Value Inflates Your Value
Drives Your Towards God Drives You Away From Drives You Away From
and His People God and His People God and His People
Good Things = Better
Bad Things ≠ Worthless Bad Things = Worthless
Than Others
GRACE WORKS
Actions ≠ Worth Actions = Worth
5. Attention - “I notice you”
Affection - “I like you”
Acceptance - “You are good enough”
Affirmation - “You matter to me”
Accountability - “There are boundaries”
KNOWN MYSTERY
SECURITY IDENTITY SEX DRIVE
0-2 2-12 12-14 14+
6. ROUGH AND TUMBLE SENSITIVE
Physical Gentle
Team Sports Solo Activities
Practical Creative
Trouble-Makers “Good” Boys
Emotionally Robust Easily Upset
Relationally Distant Relationally Insightful
EXTERNAL INTERNAL
Attention
Affection
EASIER Acceptance HARDER
TO RECEIVE LOVE Affirmation TO RECEIVE LOVE
Accountability
7. Attention - “I notice you”
Affection - “I like you”
Acceptance - “You are good enough”
Affirmation - “You matter to me”
Accountability - “There are boundaries”
“OTHER THAN” UNKNOWN
KNOWN MYSTERY
SECURITY IDENTITY SEX DRIVE
0-2 2-12 12-14 14+
8. Fathers have a POWERFUL INFLUENCE
Homosexuality isn’t about sex
Once made, brain connections don’t go away
– But you can still make new ones
– And if unused, old ones atrophy over time
– Change is possible!
Teach homosexual men about grace
– There is another option besides shame and pride
– Show them it’s possible to value them and disagree with them simultaneously
– Accept them where they are
– Affirm their masculinity
– Don’t feel threatened
– Don’t be afraid of what others might think
– Most importantly, lead them to Jesus
9. Truthfully, science hadn’t proven anything (yet)
But there is strong evidence
– My Psychologist Friend
– The Australian Psychological Society
10. "How a particular sexual orientation develops in any individual is
not well understood by scientists. Various theories provide
different explanations for what determines a person's sexual
orientation, including genetic and biological factors and life
experiences during early childhood. Despite much research there
is no proven explanation of how sexual orientation is
determined. However, many scientists share the view that for
most people sexual orientation is shaped during the first few
years of life through complex interactions of genetic, biological,
psychological and social factors.“
From the Australian Psychological Society website
(May 2012, since been removed)
11. Truthfully, science hadn’t proven anything (yet)
But there is strong evidence
– My Psychologist Friend
– The Australian Psychological Society
So politics is stronger than science... for now
But God is stronger than science and politics combined!
And on many levels, it doesn’t matter anyway
– But the truth should help you to be understanding
– Consider “Left-handed” Poster Ads
12. “Okay, that’s hard to imagine? But being gay, lesbian, bi, trans or intersex is no different
to being born left handed, it’s just who you are. So stop and think because the things
we say are likely to cause depression and anxiety. And that really is pretty crap.”
13. What’s the message? “Research and real life experiences
– “It’s just who you are” have found that GLBTI people have an
increased risk of developing depression
– Not saying that causes and anxiety, substance use disorders or
depression and anxiety self harm and thoughts of suicide.”
– (Note: “GLBT” different to “I”) Beyond Blue Website
What does this teach us?
– The gay lobby has a lot of power: everyone’s buying the lie!
– But the experience of homosexuals is real: they feel rejected!
– We can stand up for rights of homosexuals: not gay rights, human rights!
– And there is never any excuse for teasing, rejection: no shame or pride!
– We have a powerful message for homosexuals: the gospel of grace!
14. “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be
alone. I will make a helper as his complement.”
(Genesis 2:18)
“ This is why a man leaves his father and mother and
bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.”
(Genesis 2:24)
Jesus specifically upholds this as the pattern for marriage
and sex (Matthew 19, Mark 10)
15. There’s nothing special about homosexuality
– It’s just one way among many to break the good pattern that
God made (Leviticus 18, Leviticus 20)
– And not just amongst sexual sins either
“We know that the law is not meant for a righteous person,
but for the lawless and rebellious, for the ungodly and sinful,
for the unholy and irreverent, for those who kill their fathers
and mothers, for murderers, for the sexually immoral and
homosexuals, for kidnappers, liars, perjurers, and for
whatever else is contrary to the sound teaching.”
(1 Timothy 1:9-10)
16. “Don’t you know that the unrighteous will not inherit God’s
kingdom? Do not be deceived: No sexually immoral people,
idolaters, adulterers, or anyone practicing homosexuality, no
thieves, greedy people, drunkards, verbally abusive people, or
swindlers will inherit God’s kingdom.”
(1 Corinthians 6:9-10)
“And some of you used to be like this. But you were washed,
you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord
Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”
(1 Corinthians 6:11)
17. The Problem: Exchanging God’s truth with lies
“For God’s wrath is revealed from heaven against all godlessness and
unrighteousness of people who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth...
[They] exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal
man, birds, four-footed animals, and reptiles.”
(Romans 1:18-23)
The Consequence: God hands them over to their lies
“their thinking became nonsense, and their senseless minds were darkened.
Claiming to be wise, they became fools... God delivered them over in the
cravings of their hearts to sexual impurity, so that their bodies were degraded
among themselves... God delivered them over to a worthless mind to do what
is morally wrong. They are filled with all unrighteousness, evil, greed, and
wickedness. They are full of envy, murder, quarrels, deceit, and malice. [and
so on]”
(Romans 1:21-32)
18. A Good Example: Homosexuality
“even their females exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural
ones. The males in the same way also left natural relations with
females and were inflamed in their lust for one another.”
(Romans 1:26-27)
Summary: Homosexuality is just one of God’s judgements on
idolatry (people replacing his truth with lies)
19. The Rebuke: We’re exactly the same!
“Therefore, any one of you who judges is without excuse. For when you
judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the
same things.”
(Romans 2:1)
Not that we’re all homosexual, but that we’re all idolaters
– We all exchange the truth of God for a lie
No room for pride, only humility
“Or do you despise the riches of His kindness, restraint, and patience,
not recognizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to
repentance?”
(Romans 2:4)
20. Same sex-attraction in males most commonly comes from a lack of security
in their masculine identity going into puberty
– Contributory factors: poor/distant connection with Father, little/no acceptance
by male peers, over-connection with Mother, sensitive pre-disposition.
– Also sexual abuse, early sexual experiences, early exposure to pornography.
– Helpful for understanding homosexuality, but not actually the point
The first point: Homosexual behaviour is a sin, the same as every other sin
– Not any better, and not any worse
– God changes people in the same was as any other struggle
The second point: We’re all sinners too (just forgiven)
– Treat non-Christians who identify as gay the same as any other non-Christian
(they need to know Jesus!)
– Treat Christians who struggle with homosexuality the same as any Christian
who struggles with sin (and we all do!)
– Show in your life to every same-sex attracted person that there is a third
alternative called “grace”, not just shame or pride
21. “I was having lunch with a student that is on prac with me for 2 weeks
and she's from a Catholic background and she had been to my old
church on the coast a couple of times and would go to Bible study on
campus. Anyway we were talking about Christians and she asked me
what frustrates me about Christianity. And I brought up how we have
poorly loved and cared for people that need it the most. People who
are rejected and feel shame and who feel unloved. Anyway I used
homosexuals as an example. And I've known this girl for years now and
she said ‘Can I tell you something?’ and told me she was in a
relationship with a girl.”
People struggling with homosexuality will open up when they feel sure
that we are safe to talk to – that we are people of grace.
22. 1. How does homosexuality develop in females?
2. How do we answer pro-gay theology?
3. How should we approach the gay marriage
debate?
4. How do I support my friend struggling with
unwanted same-sex attraction?
5. How do I relate to people who are openly gay?
6. What about transsexuals, transvestites, intersex,
and bi-sexuality?
7. Open questions
