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Tailoring your communication style to better connect
The document discusses tailoring communication styles to build relationships and attract prospects. It explains that recognizing and adapting to different social styles, such as analytical, driver, expressive and amiable, helps connect more effectively with others. The key is modifying behaviors based on whether someone is more assertive or responsive. Understanding different social styles allows tailoring communication approaches for different personalities and situations.
Tailoring your communication style to better connect
- 1. Tailoring Your Communication Style to More Effectively Build Relationships and Business
- 2. 1. Better relationships. 2. More quickly attract prospects. ©2011-2012 :: HUNTER BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT, LP | HUNTERBIZDEV.COM CONTACT US: 770.645.9845 Hunter@hunterbizdev.com
- 3. 1. Law ofPsychological Reciprocity 2. Social Styles What they mean Recognizing each Understanding each Connecting with each Applying – where to use this ©2011-2012 :: HUNTER BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT, LP | HUNTERBIZDEV.COM CONTACT US: 770.645.9845 Hunter@hunterbizdev.com
- 4. The Law ofPsychological Reciprocity ©2011-2012 :: HUNTER BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT, LP | HUNTERBIZDEV.COM 4 When you move toward another person’s style they’re naturally compelled to move toward yours. This is called “mirroring”. CONTACT US: 770.645.9845 Hunter@hunterbizdev.com
- 5. Why can’t weall just get along? 75% of the population is different from you in the way they… Think Decisions Work Communicate Manage ©2011-2012 :: HUNTER BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT, LP | HUNTERBIZDEV.COM CONTACT US: 770.645.9845 Hunter@hunterbizdev.com
- 6. Social Styles –Defined Behavior that individuals exhibit when they interact with others CONTACT US: 770.645.9845 Hunter@hunterbizdev.com ©2011-2012 :: HUNTER BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT, LP | HUNTERBIZDEV.COM 6
- 7. Why this isimportant CONTACT US: 770.645.9845 Hunter@hunterbizdev.com ©2011-2012 :: HUNTER BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT, LP | HUNTERBIZDEV.COM 7
- 8. Colleagues CONTACT US: 770.645.9845 Hunter@hunterbizdev.com Think about the important people in your life as we move forward Clients Family members or friends ©2011-2012 :: HUNTER BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT, LP | HUNTERBIZDEV.COM 8
- 9. 4 Dominant SocialStyles CONTACT US: 770.645.9845 Hunter@hunterbizdev.com Analytical Serious and more exacting Driver Strong willed and emotionally controlled low high Amiable Low Easy going and supportive Expressive Outgoing and more dramatic High high ©2011-2012 :: HUNTER BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT, LP | HUNTERBIZDEV.COM 9
- 10. ASSERTIVENESS: Behaviors seenby others as forceful or directive CONTACT US: 770.645.9845 Hunter@hunterbizdev.com RESPONSIVENESS: Show emotions or demonstrate awareness of others feelings Low High low RESPONSIVE A S S E R T I V E low high high ©2011-2012 :: HUNTER BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT, LP | HUNTERBIZDEV.COM 10
- 11. 4 Dominant SocialStyles Low emotion High assertive Low emotion High assertive High emotion High assertive High emotion High assertive CONTACT US: 770.645.9845 Hunter@hunterbizdev.com Analytical Serious and more exacting Driver Strong willed and emotionally controlled low RESPONSIVENESS llooww A S S E R T I V E N E S S hhiigghh Amiable Low Easy going and supportive Expressive Outgoing and more dramatic High high Low emotion Low assertive Low emotion Low assertive High emotion Low assertive High emotion Low assertive ©2011-2012 :: HUNTER BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT, LP | HUNTERBIZDEV.COM 11
- 12. Analyticals Recognize VerbalClues – Monotone, slow paced, quiet, pose challenging questions, keep their opinions to themselves. Body Language Clues – Reserved, quiet demeanor. Rigid body movements, intermittent eye contact, avoids physical contact. ©2011-2012 :: HUNTER BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT, LP | HUNTERBIZDEV.COM 12 Understand They Want – Process Their Style – Thinker Decisions Made – Ready, Ready, Ready, Ready… Their Motivation – Job satisfaction, recognition of expertise, approval, perfection, fear of making a bad decision CONTACT US: 770.645.9845 Hunter@hunterbizdev.com
- 13. CONTACT US: 770.645.9845 Hunter@hunterbizdev.com Connecting with Analyticals Be punctual Be prepared and organized Think logically Get right to business Focus on process Keep enthusiasm to a dull roar ©2011-2012 :: HUNTER BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT, LP | HUNTERBIZDEV.COM 13
- 14. Drivers Recognize VerbalClues – Monotone, fast paced, business-like, pointed, make statements in a challenging way, responds with loud confident sounding voice. Body Language Clues – Action oriented. Lean forward when talking, intense eye contact, ultra firm handshake, business-like posture, avoid physical contact that they don’t initiate. ©2011-2012 :: HUNTER BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT, LP | HUNTERBIZDEV.COM 14 Understand They Want – Results and control Their Style – Decisive Decisions Made – Fire, Ready, Aim Their Motivation – Independence, power and authority, prestige and status, results, wealth CONTACT US: 770.645.9845 Hunter@hunterbizdev.com
- 15. Connecting with Drivers Don’t be late Be prepared CONTACT US: 770.645.9845 Hunter@hunterbizdev.com Know your objectives Get to the point Pick the pace up Focus on outcomes Be assertive Stand up for your beliefs and values Keep emotions in check Don’t take it personally ©2011-2012 :: HUNTER BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT, LP | HUNTERBIZDEV.COM 15
- 16. Expressives Recognize VerbalClues – Loud, animated, self-centered, dominant. Body Language Clues – Animated, full of gestures, lots of non-verbal feedback, responsive and open. ©2011-2012 :: HUNTER BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT, LP | HUNTERBIZDEV.COM 16 Understand They Want – Attention Their Style – Spontaneous Decisions Made – Fire, fire, fire! Their Motivation – Fun and enjoyment, independence, power and authority, prestige and status, fear of not being the center of attention CONTACT US: 770.645.9845 Hunter@hunterbizdev.com
- 17. Connecting with Expressives Pick up the pace and energy Show enthusiasm Let the conversation flow Think more out of the box Be more open Be less detail oriented, less rigid/critical Be tolerant of disorganization Don’t worry about timeframe CONTACT US: 770.645.9845 Hunter@hunterbizdev.com Look for personal connections Name drop ©2011-2012 :: HUNTER BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT, LP | HUNTERBIZDEV.COM 17
- 18. Amiables Recognize VerbalClues – Warm. Asks personal questions before getting around to business. Holds in negative emotions as long as they can until they explode emotionally. Body Language Clues – Comfortable and relaxed. More personal than business-like. Cautious and quiet demeanor but open to physical contact once they get to know you. ©2011-2012 :: HUNTER BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT, LP | HUNTERBIZDEV.COM 18 Understand They Want – Relationships Their Style – Accommodating Decisions Made – Ready, Aim and what do you think? Their Motivation – Acceptance, recognition of feelings, job satisfaction, security, fear of not being accepted CONTACT US: 770.645.9845 Hunter@hunterbizdev.com
- 19. Connecting with Amiables Relax Personal stuff before business CONTACT US: 770.645.9845 Hunter@hunterbizdev.com Invite conversation Don’t push – guide Be patient Choose words carefully Let them be the hero ©2011-2012 :: HUNTER BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT, LP | HUNTERBIZDEV.COM 19
- 20. Quick Recap RESPONSIVENESS: Show emotions or demonstrate awareness or others feelings Low emotion High assertive Low emotion High assertive Low emotion Low assertive Low emotion Low assertive Behaviors are seen as forceful or directive High emotion Low assertive High emotion Low assertive High emotion High assertive High emotion High assertive CONTACT US: 770.645.9845 Hunter@hunterbizdev.com ASSERTIVENESS: ©2011-2012 :: HUNTER BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT, LP | HUNTERBIZDEV.COM 20
- 21. Colleagues CONTACT US: 770.645.9845 Hunter@hunterbizdev.com Need to adjust your strategy with anyone? Clients Family members or friends ©2011-2012 :: HUNTER BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT, LP | HUNTERBIZDEV.COM 21
- 22. What’s your style? CONTACT US: 770.645.9845 Hunter@hunterbizdev.com Tip: Ask a colleague(s) ©2011-2012 :: HUNTER BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT, LP | HUNTERBIZDEV.COM 22
- 23. Where to usethese insights? ©2011-2012 :: HUNTER BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT, LP | HUNTERBIZDEV.COM 23 All touch points… Correspondence Telephone conversations and voicemails Meetings Presentations Proposals Marketing materials CONTACT US: 770.645.9845 Hunter@hunterbizdev.com
- 24. What if you’vehad no interaction with someone? CONTACT US: 770.645.9845 Hunter@hunterbizdev.com ©2011-2012 :: HUNTER BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT, LP | HUNTERBIZDEV.COM 24
- 25. 1. If youknow someone who knows them, ask them 2. Read their LinkedIn profile 3. Listen to their voicemail if you can. Is there warmth in their voice? What about their pace and assertiveness? 4. If they have a blog, read it. 5. Search to see if you can find a video or audio that includes them. Perhaps an interview. CONTACT US: 770.645.9845 Hunter@hunterbizdev.com ©2011-2012 :: HUNTER BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT, LP | HUNTERBIZDEV.COM 25
- 26. Keep in mind No style is “better” or “worse” than any other. No one conforms completely to one type. Everyone has one style that predominates. Knowledge without action is futile. ©2011-2012 :: HUNTER BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT, LP | HUNTERBIZDEV.COM CONTACT US: 770.645.9845 Hunter@hunterbizdev.com 26
- 27. Good luck connecting! Need help with strategies that better connect? Contact: Larry Melnick, Principal 770.645.9845 Hunter@hunterbizdev.com
- 28. About Hunter BusinessDevelopment: Hunter Business Development provides the frontline insights, tools and resources that help professional services firms open doors to the right new clients and keep them. Founded in 2001, Hunter helps firms in a variety of ways including go-to-market strategies, lead generation execution, coaching, training and client retention strategies. The fact that much of the firm’s time is spent actually engaging prospects on behalf of clients provides Hunter with invaluable frontline insights for what works and what doesn’t when it comes to attracting and retaining clients. Learn more Contact: Larry Melnick, Principal 770.645.9845 Hunter@hunterbizdev.com Learn more about Larry Melnick Founder and Principal
Editor's Notes
- #2 Welcome to tailoring your communications style to more effectively build relationships and business.
- #3 I have 2 primary big picture objectives for today. The first is to provide each of you with insights and strategies to develop better, more mutually satisfying and productive relationships with key people in your professional and personal lives. Provide those of you involved in new client cultivation with important insights and strategies that will help you more effectively and quickly attract and engage prospective clients. And by the way, let me say upfront that there’s a good chance that you’ve been exposed to some or all of the concepts that we’ll explore today. That’s fine. I find that many people have. I also find that in most cases the knowledge isn’t top of mind and more importantly, they are not actually using the insights to affect positive change.
- #4 Here is what we will learn today that will help make the objectives reality: First we’ll learn about the law of psychological reciprocity. Then we’ll define the concept of social styles and explore the four dominant styles. You’ll learn what each means, how to recognize each and understand how each sees the world. Ultimately you’ll learn strategies for turning this knowledge into action that will help you build stronger relationships and business.
- #5 You may be familiar with The Law of Psychological Reciprocity. It basically says that human beings are instinctively encouraged to return to others the feelings and emotions they give to us. In other words, when we move toward another person’s style, they’re naturally compelled to move toward ours. This is called mirroring and matching. You can therefore impact the thoughts, actions and feelings of others by modeling what you want to have happen.
- #6 Okay, so why do you think we tend to click with some people while many others somehow rub us the wrong way? That’s probably because 3 out of every 4 people are significantly different from each of us. Different in the way they think, the way they make decisions, the way they work, communicate and also manage.
- #7 You may also be familiar with the concept of social styles. Back in the 1960s Dr. David Merrill and Roger Reid discovered that individuals can be reliably categorized into a few specific types based on their social and task behavior. It’s the behavior that we as individuals exhibit when we interact with others.
- #8 There is no doubt that having an understanding of someone else’s style, no matter what it is, can be very helpful. It can enable you to anticipate their behavior and know how they prefer to interact. Think back to your interaction with siblings when you were a kid. Didn’t you know exactly which buttons to push that would elicit a response, usually negative. You knew them pretty well, yes? On the flip side, the better you anticipate behavior and preferences, the more effectively you can communicate and “connect” with others – in a positive way. As we just learned, we all tend to respond to styles similar to our own. And in the end, better “connecting” helps build trust.
- #9 Before we go any further, I want you to think of 3 important people in each of your lives. First, an important client contact. Next, someone that you work with. And last but certainly not least, a family member or friend. If possible make it people that you’re experiencing some challenges with. Do me a favor and write each of their names down.
- #10 Okay, let’s dive in. We all tend to fall into four Social Styles that influence the way we work and interact with others. You may have heard them referred to differently. I call them Analytical, Driver, Amiable and Expressive. Analyticals tend to be serious and exacting Drivers tend to be strong willed & appear to have ice water in their veins Amiables are easy going and happy to support the cause Expressives tend to be highly extroverted and drama queens/kings Keep in mind that none of these styles is “better’ or “worse” than any other and no one conforms completely to one type. However, everyone has one style that predominates and is used most frequently. This is the style with which we feel most comfortable. Though some behaviors do change, a person’s dominant Social Style tends to remain the same. We are who we are.
- #11 In order to truly understand the various styles, it’s helpful to look at each in relation to the following axis. RESPONSIVENESS is the degree to which an individual is seen by others as showing emotions or demonstrating an awareness of the feelings of others. Think of someone you know who ‘wears their emotions on their sleeve’. They’re highly responsive. Anyone come to mind? And ASSERTIVENESS is the degree to which an individual’s behaviors are seen by others as being forceful or directive. Think of those people you know who tend to step forward and take the lead. Anyone come to mind?
- #12 When we take a closer look at each style in terms of their emotions and assertiveness we find that Analyticals tend to feature low levels of both emotion and assertiveness. They are thinkers. Drivers similarly show little emotion but they are highly assertive. They are directors. Expressives are both highly emotional and assertive. Can you think of someone like that? Amiables are also highly emotional, but not at all assertive. They are the great ‘supporters’ on the team.
- #13 Now let’s take a closer look at the 4 styles to better understand how to recognize each, understand each and connect with each. First, Analyticals. When you think about clues to listen for, think monotone, slow paced, quiet. Analyticals keep their opinions to themselves. They also pose challenging questions. When it comes to body language clues to look for, Analyticals tend to present a reserved, quiet demeanor. Body movements are a bit stiff, eye contact is intermittent and they’ll usually avoid physical contact In terms of UNDERSTANDING how Analyticals think and see the world Process is very important. They want to know how things work. If there is one word that sums up their style it would be – Thinker When it comes to decisions, they tend to take their time and sometimes find it difficult to pull the trigger – it’s Ready, Ready, Ready, Ready… The kinds of things that motivate Analyticals are – Job satisfaction, recognition and approval, perfection and also the fear of making a bad decision. They don’t want to screw up. Anyone you know fit THIS PROFILE? How about one of the three names that you wrote down? How about you?
- #14 Now that we know how to both recognize and understand how Analyticals think, let’s look at some strategies for actually connecting with them. First and foremost, be punctual. Make sure you’re well prepared and organized. Remember they think process so it’s helpful for your interaction with them to communicate this. Think logically – remember, they do. Don’t waste time with idle chit-chat, it has low value to them If your firm has a clear process, don’t be shy about sharing. It’s important to Analyticals. Last, if you’re an enthusiastic person, an Amiable or Expressive, do your best to control your enthusiasm. It’s not something that will help win over an Analytical. Any questions about Analyticals?
- #15 Now let’s talk about Drivers. They’re sometimes referred to as Control Freaks. Like Analyticals, they tend to be monotone. Unlike them, they are fast paced and business-like. They’ll make pointed statements in a challenging way and will typically respond in a loud and confident voice. Drivers are action oriented. They may lean forward when speaking and eye contact is intense. Expect an extra firm handshake. Their posture is very business-like and typically they’ll avoid physical contact that they don’t initiate – remember, they are directors and very cool emotionally. Now let’s take some time to understand how drivers think First, it’s all about results and control – that’s what they want. A good word to describe their style would be – Decisive When it comes to making decisions, get ready because it’s “Fire, Ready, Aim” What drives a driver? Things like independence, power and authority, prestige and status, wealth, and of course, results. Anyone you know fit THIS PROFILE? Someone on your list? How about you?
- #16 Now that we know how to both recognize and understand Drivers, let’s look at some communication strategies for effectively connecting with them. Like Analyticals, it’s important to be punctual and prepared. Count on the fact that drivers have clear objectives, so it helps if you also do Since drivers tend to be in a hurry (remember, “fire, ready, aim”), don’t meander and get to the point. Also make sure to keep a good pace. Otherwise, you will lose them. Remember that drivers are motivated by results and not process. Therefore, you’ll be well served to focus on accomplishments. If you really want to make a positive impression with a driver, you need to be assertive. Don’t be afraid to stand up for what you believe. If you cower, drivers will eat you alive. Last, remember that drivers keep their emotions in check, so do your best to keep yours under control and to not take thing personally. Any questions about Drivers?
- #17 Now let’s talk about Expressives, sometimes referred to as Social Specialists. Remember that Expressives are highly emotive. No surprise that they tend to be loud and animated. They are also highly assertive and therefore come across as self-centered and dominant when it comes to a conversations. They’re animated and full of gestures. They provide lots of non-verbal feedback which actually can be very helpful if you’re paying attention. And they tend to be very responsive and open. The top priority of an Expressive is attention If you were to pick one word that defines their style it would be “Spontaneous” This contributes to how they make decisions – it’s “fire, fire, fire!” And when you think about what motivates an Expressive, again remember that they are both highly emotive and assertive. Therefore, it’s things like – Fun and enjoyment, independence, power and authority, prestige and status, and last but not least, the fear of not being the center of attention Anyone you know fit THIS PROFILE? Someone on your list? How about you?
- #18 Now that we know how to both recognize Expressives and we have a sense for how they see the world, let’s look at some communication strategies for effectively connecting with them. To mirror them, pick up the pace and your energy and let your enthusiasm show. Don’t be shy about getting to know them and name-dropping. Remember, they’re social specialists. At the same time remember that they like to be the center of attention. Expressives tend to be out there emotionally and they want to lead, so open yourself up and go with their flow Unlike Analyticals and Drivers, don’t worry about sweating what Expressives consider the “small stuff”. Any questions about Expressives?
- #19 Finally, let’s talk about Amiables, sometimes referred to as Support Specialists. Amiables communicate warmth. They like to talk personal stuff and get to know others. And although they wear their emotions on their sleeve, they will hold in negative emotions as long as they can until they explode. Know anyone like this? Their demeanor is naturally pretty comfortable and relaxed. More personal than business-like. And while they come across as cautious and quiet, they are open to physical contact once they get to know you. In terms of how they think As you can probably tell, relationships are a high priority with Amiables If I were to choose one word to best describe their Style it would be “Accommodating” When you combine their high level of emotion and low assertiveness, the decision process is typically, “Ready, Aim, what do you think?” Their Motivation? Amiables want to be accepted and recognized. They also value job satisfaction, security and safety. Anyone you know fit THIS PROFILE? Someone on your list? How about you?
- #20 Now that we know how to both recognize Amiables and we have a sense for how they see the world, let’s look at some communication strategies for effectively connecting with them. First, relax. After all, they are. Don’t be shy about getting to know them. Also, about opening yourself up to allow them to get to know you. Remember it’s relationships that they crave. Encourage dialogue. Remember that because Amiables tend to be both sensitive and not at all assertive, you’ll be well served to focus on guiding them in a way that is not seen as pushing. You’ll win in the end if you find ways to let the light shine on them. Any questions about Amiables?
- #21 Alright let’s quickly recap the styles Analyticals feature low levels of both emotion and assertiveness. They are Thinkers. Drivers are low on the emotion scale but highly assertive. They are Directors. Expressives are both highly emotional and assertive. They are Social Specialists. Amiables are highly emotional and not very assertive. They are Supporters.
- #22 Alright, so let’s go back and think about each of the names you wrote down initially. Have you been able to identify the predominant style for each? Think about how you’ve interacted with them in the past and how you might want to adjust moving forward to enhance your relationship with each. Anyone want to share an example? You now have the seeds of a smart strategy.
- #23 And just as important, what is your predominant style? Take a minute to think about it. You might ask a colleague.
- #24 So, you ask, ‘how do I use it?’. Once you identify the other person’s preferred style, you’re then in a position to tailor your interactions to compliment their style. For example: Emails and letters Telephone conversations and voicemails you leave Meetings Presentations and proposals Marketing materials Any other interactions you can think of?
- #25 And by the way, what about a new client or prospective client who you’ve had no interaction with. How in the world can you have a clue about their style?
- #26 Well there are a few things you can do that can potentially give you a clue: If you know someone who knows them, ask them Read their LinkedIn profile Listen to their voicemail if you can. Is there warmth in their voice? What about their pace and assertiveness? If they have a blog, read it. Search to see if you can find a video or audio that includes them. Perhaps an interview. Any other ideas?
- #27 Finally, a few things to remember. No one style is “better” or “worse” than any other. No one conforms completely to one style. We’re all ‘mutts’. However, each of us has one style that predominates. Last but certainly not least, knowledge without action is futile. So, go forth and use it.
- #28 Good luck moving forward!