Lost Without a Map: Dealing with Sexual Complexity
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Presentation from the 2012 GANZ conference by Sydney-based Gestalt therapist and Clinical GANZ member Clinton Power. The aim of this presentation was to illustrate the change process around a client defining and accepting their sexual orientation and ‘coming out’ and how a number of complex factors contribute to the pace and difficulty in the change process.
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Lost Without a Map: Dealing with Sexual Complexity
- 1. Lost Without a Map: Dealing with Sexual Complexity with Clinton Power CMGANZ
- 2. Context
- 3. Connection
- 4. Complexity
- 5. Sexual Anorexia or Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder?
- 7. CASS Identity Model of Coming Out Cass, V. (1979). Homosexual identity formation: A theoretical model. Journal of Homosexuality, 4 (3), 219-235. Iaculo, G. (2004) Relational Support in the Gay Coming-Out Process. Gestalt Review. 8 (2): 178-203.
- 15. Summary Vignette
- 16. Resources
- 17. Further learning… • Gay Affirmative Therapy for the Straight Clinician- Dr Joe Korthttp://bit.ly/gayaffirmativetherapy • Gay Affirmative Resources/Handouts: • http://gayaffirmativetherapy.com/download.a sp • 30-minute video interview with Dr Joe Kort: http://bit.ly/drjoekort
Editor's Notes
- Presentation studied actuary, working in financial industry Chinese Living at home age 29Father died of cancer 10 yrs agoDominating mother- expresses opinions, no social gracesPresented with issues of sexualityJob performance problems - seeing a psychologist for the job issuesFirst session said he felt lostNever been in a relationshipNever been attracted to men or womenHe does watch gay porn, watches gay mini series and enjoyed itWas stimulated by gay porn, though thought it was unnatural Not sexually interested in women
- In a sexual rel with cousin from age 8 for 18 yearsCousin sexually abused him from age 8Reported that he ended it 3 years easier after cousin was married and client felt bad going behind his cousin's wife's backClient said occasionally he initiated sexReported mixture of enjoyment, disgust, discomfortCousin moved from fondling, to fellatio to penetrative anal sex in later yearsClient felt constant threat of being found out or discoveredCousin's sister walked in on them once and said they were disgusting
- Could be seen as sexual abuse due to abus of power at a young age, turned more into a loveless relationship where cousin gratified himselfMy client was likely gay, but was confused by e sexual abuse- this is commonSexual abuse does not define sexual orientationSexual development interrupted by sexual relationshipIntrojected shame, disgust, passivity regarding sexuality and sexClient developed sexual anorexia as a creative adjustment to the experience[define sexual anorexia]
- The Cass Identity Model is one of the fundamental theories of gay and lesbian identity development, developed in 1979 by Vivienne Cass.[1] This model was one of the first to treat gay people as "normal" in a heterosexist society and in a climate of homophobia instead of treating homosexuality itself as a problem. Cass described a process of six stages of gay and lesbian identity development. While these stages are sequential, some people might revisit stages at different points in their lives.
- "Could I be gay?" This stage begins with the person's first awareness of gay or lesbian thoughts, feelings, and attractions. The people typically feel confused and experience turmoil.To the question "Who am I?", the answers can be acceptance, psychological self-denial and repression, or rejection.Possible responses can be: to avoid information about lesbians and gays; inhibited behavior; self-denial of homosexuality ("experimenting", "an accident", "just drunk", "just looking"). Males may keep emotional involvement separated from sexual contact; females may have deep relationships that are non-sexual, though strongly emotional.The possible needs can be: the person may explore internal positive and negative judgments. Will be allowed to be uncertain regarding sexual identity. May find support in knowing that sexual behavior occurs along a spectrum. May receive permission and encouragement to explore sexual identity as a normal experience (like career identity and social identity).
- The second stage is called Identity Comparison. In this stage, the person accepts the possibility of being gay or lesbian and examines the wider implications of that tentative commitment. "Maybe this does apply to me." The self-alienation becomes isolation. The task is to deal with the social alienation.Possible responses can be: the person may begin to grieve for losses and the things they give up by embracing their sexual orientation (marriage, children). They may compartmentalize their own sexuality—accept lesbian/gay definition of behavior but maintain "heterosexual" identity. Tells oneself, "It's only temporary"; "I'm just in love with this particular woman/man"; etc.The possible needs can be: will be very important that the person develops own definitions. Will need information about sexual identity, lesbian, gay community resources, encouragement to talk about loss of heterosexual life expectations. May be permitted to keep some "heterosexual" identity (as "not an all or none" issue).
- In the third stage, Identity Tolerance: the person comes to the understanding they are "not the only one".The person acknowledges they are likely gay or lesbian and seeks out other gay and lesbian people to combat feelings of isolation. Increased commitment to being lesbian or gay. The task is to decrease social alienation by seeking out lesbians and gays.Possible responses can be: beginning to have language to talk and think about the issue. Recognition that being lesbian or gay does not preclude other options. Accentuate difference between self and heterosexuals. Seek out lesbian and gay culture (positive contact leads to more positive sense of self, negative contact leads to devaluation of the culture, stops growth). The person may try out variety of stereotypical roles.The possible needs can be: to be supported in exploring own shame feelings derived from heterosexism, as well as internalized homophobia. Receive support in finding positive lesbian, gay community connections. It is particularly important for the person to know community resources.
- The Identity Acceptance stage means the person accepts themselves. "I will be okay." The person attaches a positive connotation to their gay or lesbian identity and accepts rather than tolerates it. There is continuing and increased contact with the gay and lesbian culture. The task is to deal with inner tension of no longer subscribing to society's norm, attempt to bring congruence between private and public view of self.Possible responses can be: accepts gay or lesbian self-identification. May compartmentalize "gay life". Maintain less and less contact with heterosexual community. Attempt to "fit in" and "not make waves" within the gay and lesbian community. Begin some selective disclosures of sexual identity. More social coming out; more comfortable being seen with groups of men or women that are identified as "gay". More realistic evaluation of situation.The possible needs can be: continue exploring grief and loss of heterosexual life expectation, continue exploring internalized homophobia (learned shame from heterosexist society). Find support in making decisions about where, when, and to whom to disclose.
- In the identity pride stage, while sometimes the coming out of the closet arrives, and the main thinking is "I've got to let people know who I am!". The person divides the world into heterosexuals and homosexuals, and is immersed in gay and lesbian culture while minimizing contact with heterosexuals. Us-them quality to political/social viewpoint. The task is to deal with the incongruent views of heterosexuals.Possible responses include: splits world into "gay" (good) and "straight" (bad)—experiences disclosure crises with heterosexuals as they are less willing to "blend in"—identify gay culture as sole source of support, acquiring all gay friends, business connections, social connections.The possible needs can be: to receive support for exploring anger issues, to find support for exploring issues of heterosexism, to develop skills for coping with reactions and responses to disclosure to sexual identity, and to resist being defensive.
- The last stage in Cass' model is identity synthesis: the person integrates their sexual identity with all other aspects of self, and sexual orientation becomes only one aspect of self rather than the entire identity.The task is to integrate gay and lesbian identity so that instead of being the identity, it is an aspect of self.Possible responses can be: continues to be angry at heterosexism, but with decreased intensity, or allows trust of others to increase and build. Gay and lesbian identity is integrated with all aspects of "self". The person feels "all right" to move out into the community and not simply define space according to sexual orientation.Kaufman and Johnson (2004)[2] argue that based upon more recent research, this model is less valid today than it was at its inception for several reasons:This model does not take into account socio-cultural factors that can impact identity development.The nature of the social stigma and its management practices have changed since the inception of the model.The linear nature of the model would suggest that anyone who abandons the model or fails to go through each of the six stages would not be able to be considered as a well adjusted homosexual, which may no longer be true.