The document provides a humorous summary of unrealistic job requirements in 18 bullet points. It describes a job that pays less than competitors with long work hours but low pay. It requires good communication skills but unresponsive management. It expects heavy workloads, career-long tenure in low-skill jobs, self-motivation without support or training, overtime without compensation, high turnover, and unpaid work to generate sales leads without a base salary. The work environment offers low pay without appropriate dress standards. It requires public relations work beyond an employee's duties and experience in multiple roles without sufficient staffing.

1. Funny job ads by HR
recruitment firm

2. COMPETITIVE SALARY
We remain
competitive by
paying less than our
competitors.

3. FLEXIBLE HOURS
Work 50 hours; get
paid for 32.5.

4. GOOD COMMUNICATION
SKILLS
Management
communicates, you
listen, figure out
what they want you
to do.

5. ABILITY TO HANDLE A HEAVY
WORKLOAD:
You whine, you're
fired.

6. CAREER-MINDED
We expect that you
will want to flip
hamburgers until you
are 70.

7. SELF-MOTIVATED
Management won't
answer questions

8. SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED
Some time each
night and some time
each weekend

9. COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT
We have a lot of
turnover.

10. SALES POSITION REQUIRING
MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER
We're not going to
supply you with leads;
there's no base
salary; you'll wait 30
days for your first
commission check.

11. WORK ATMOSPHERE
We don't pay enough
to expect that you'll
dress up; well, a
couple of the real
daring guys wear
earrings.

12. SOME PUBLIC RELATIONS
REQUIRED:
If we're in trouble,
you'll go on TV and get
us out of it.

13. SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH
A WIDE VARIETY OF
EXPERIENCE:
You'll need it to
replace three people
who just left.

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