Family Life Merit Badge_Merit Badge Day 4 Nov 17

Family Life Merit Badge
Merit Badge Day, 4 Nov 17
Skipper Sam Young, Sea Scout Ship 378, SkipperS378@Gmail.com, [M] 404-915-5321

Family Life: Requirement 1
• Prepare & Discuss an Outline of What a Family is
• Tell Why Families are Important to individuals & society
• Discuss How Actions of One Family Member can Affect the Others
4 Nov 17, Merit Badge Day Family Life Merit Badge 2

• List & Discuss Reasons You are Important to Your Family
• Parents or Guardians
• Merit Badge Counselor

• List 5+ regular chores; Do them for 90 days
• Keep a daily record of when you did them
• Discuss effect of your chores on the family

• Plan and carry out an approved project for your family [by yourself]
• Submit report
• How the project benefited your family
• Who did the project (You!!!)
• What is the project?
• Why this project?
• Where did you do the project?
• How did you do the project?
• What is the impact of the project?

• Plan and carry out a project with family members
• Discuss the following w/ Merit Badge Counselor
• Objective/Goal of the project
• How individual members participated
• Results of the project

• 6a. Discuss how to plan and carry out a family meeting
• 6b. Conduct one or more family meetings to cover required topics
• May be with only one or both of your Parents or Guardians

• Discuss w/ Merit Badge Counselor
• What Makes and Effective Father & Why
• Role of Father in Family
• Responsibilities of a Parent

• Prepare & Discuss an Outline of What a Family is
• Tell Why Families are Important to individuals & society
• Discuss How Actions of One Family Member can Affect the Others

Discuss: What is a Family?

Discuss:
Why Families are Important to Individuals
Families provide individual support systems

Discuss:
Why Families are Important to Society
Structure for passing culture’s values to generations

Discuss:
How Family Member Actions Impact Family?

American Family Structures w/ Children
• Nuclear Family (1 Biological Father, 1 Biological Mother)
• Single Parent (1 Biological Parent)
• Death of a spouse
• Divorce
• Incarceration
• Never Married
• Step Family (1 Biological Parent, Married Spouse)
• Adoptive Family (Married, Opposite Sex Spouses)

American Family Structures w/ Children
• Alternative
• Same-Sex
• Cohabitation
• Grand Parents
• Multiple Adults

Research:
Make-Up of American Families w/Children

“Life Without Father”, Popenoe, 1997
• The increasing percentage of children living apart from their natural fathers is an unpredicted, and not
widely discussed, trend. Fatherlessness is a major force behind many disturbing U.S. social problems.
• The institution of marriage acts as culture's chief vehicle to bind men to their children. The absence of
fathers from children's lives is one of the most important causes of problems related to children's well-
being such as increasing rates of juvenile violent crime, depression and eating disorders, teen suicide, and
substance abuse.
• The economic difficulties experienced by mother-headed families ultimately account for many of the
disadvantages found among fatherless children.
• Fathers make unique contributions to childrearing, including a parenting style different from mothers and
an emphasis on play, which facilitates normal emotional development.
• The largest negative consequence of father absence is juvenile delinquency and violence, and early sexual
activity. Marriage and childrearing act as extremely important civilizing forces for men; when there are large
numbers of young, unattached males concentrated in one place, there are increases in social disorder.
• It is necessary to undo the cultural shift toward radical individualism to restore marriage and reinstate
fathers in their children's lives. Changes in the attitudes and actions of employers, religious leaders, family
scholars, marriage counselors, legislators, and the entertainment industry could strengthen the institution of
marriage. Fathers' role must be redefined to involve full engagement in their children's development from
the beginning.

Why Two Parents: Male & Female?
• Role Models
• Two perspectives on life
• Unique & complementary qualities
• Justice & Mercy
• Strength & Beauty
• Initiation & Response
• Procreation

Benefits for Scouts
• More successful and better-behaved at school
• More likely to attend and graduate college
• Less likely to live in poverty
• Less likely to drink or do drugs
• Less likely to be sexually active
• Less likely to commit crimes or act violently
• Less likely to be sexually or physically abused
• More likely to have successful marriages of their own
• Expected to live longer than children from divorced homes

• List & Discuss Reasons You are Important to Your Family

Qualities of a Strong Family
• Appreciation
• Commitment
• Effective Communication
• Problem Solving
• Love & Empathy
• Time Together

Discuss:
Why Families are Important to Individuals
Families provide individual support systems

Modify Reasons:
Why You are Important to Your Family
• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5
• 6
• . . .
Take these home to discuss with parents or guardians

• List 5+ regular chores; Do them for 90 days
• Keep a daily record of when you did them
• Discuss effect of your chores on the family

Chores Chart Creation
• List Chores (4+) done periodically every week [examples]
• Clean up after meals
• Feed animals
• Manage trash
• Organize room
• List Frequency
• Multiple Times per day, daily, less than daily more than weekly, weekly
• Add Clean Your Bathroom Once a Week
• Record completion daily
• Spreadsheet, wall chart, calendar
• If skipped, note why (e.g., sick, vacation, traded, etc.)

YouTube Video: Bathrooms
• The following presentation about inspecting, improving, managing,
and operating bathrooms are at these URLs
• https://youtu.be/8UJPYGjITfc Part 1 of 2
• https://youtu.be/x8JzPofJTMI Part 2 of 2

Bathrooms
• Most people are clueless about what it takes for a healthy bathroom
• High humidity
• Surface moisture
• Foul indoor air quality
• Microbe colonies
• Toilet flumes
• Debris films (e.g., soap, toothpaste)
• Odorizers (e.g., deodorant, cologne, perfume)
• Skin defoliation (e.g., shaving, showering, hair care)
• Expectorants (e.g., mouthwash, toothpaste)
• Sloppy hygiene

Why Care About Bathrooms?
• Know how to maintain them
• Your family depends on it!
• Be aware of what it takes to stay healthy
• Develop routine care habits
• Understand how items in the bathroom are affected
• Extend knowledge to bedrooms, kitchens, and laundry rooms
• Better care of camping/backpacking habitats
• Appreciate your mom!!!
• Love your wife!

Stay Sane!
• It’s going to be okay!
• People have been cleaning & toileting since the beginning of time
• Don’t become a germ-a-phobe
• Don’t become the bathroom police!
• The goal is to be aware, not drive yourself or others crazy
• Be practical
• Add things that may be missing
• Perhaps adopt better materials
• Periodically take care of things
• Make minor changes to habits, if necessary
• Making your bathroom a better place could be an individual & family project

Building Code Requirements: Bathrooms
• Ground-Fault Circuit-Interrupter (GFCI) on Receptacle Outlets
• Sealed Plumbing Fixtures
• Bath Area Fans Exhausting @ 8 Air Changes per Hour
• (Bath Fan Airflow (cfm) X 60) / Bathroom Volume = Air Changes per Hour
• Faucets
• Hot water on the left, cold water on the right
• If single, rotating valve, cold water comes on first
• Water can’t back up into the water supply
• Temperature controls on shower/tub valves to prevent scalding

Building Code Requirements
• Functional Toilets
• Self-scouring
• Plumbing waste pipes 1/8-1/4” fall per foot
• P-Traps on Waste Outlets
• Toilets, sinks, tubs, urinals, bidets
• No Plumbing Leaks
• Shut-Off Valves on Toilets & Faucets
• If Setup for Disabilities
• Grab bars

Building Code Silent about Important Things
• Water Resistant Floor, Wall, & Ceiling Coverings
• Testing Bath Area Fan Flow
• Humidity Control
• Enough Power to Run Accessories
• Blow Dryers, Curling Irons, Heaters
• Avoiding Water Flow under Bathroom Walls
• Shut-Off Valves for Bathtubs/Showers
• Readily Available Shut-Off Valves

Bathroom Operations are up to You!
• Moisture Control
• Water & Humidity
• Power Management
• Circuits carry <= 80% of power load (15 A Circuits < 1440 W: 20 A < 1920 W)
• Avoid electrical device contact w/ water
• Proper Hygiene
• Toileting
• Cleaning
• Body Care
• Supplies Management
• Toilet paper, towels, health & beauty aids

Bathroom Operations are up to You!
• Sanitation
• Surface cleaning, including personal protection equipment (PPE)
• Beauty aids management, including soap
• Towel & wash-cloth handling
• Srubbies
• Debris Disposal
• Water Vigilance
• Back-flow prevention
• Water containment
• Emergency management
• Odor Control

Daily Bathroom Maintenance
• Eliminate water from tub/shower & countertop
• Squeegee/wipe shower surround
• Scrub & wipe out sink
• Dry countertop
• Wipe water off shampoo & conditioner bottles
• Operate bath fan 20+ min after baths/showers with door closed
• Hang towels, wash clothes & bath mats fully opened to dry
• Clean soap bars, dry them, then support for air drying
• Protect toothbrush while allowing to dry
• Ensure toilet flushes contents after use (Close toilet seat first)

Bi-Weekly Bathroom Maintenance
• Replace towels, wash clothes, bath mats, & scrubbies
• Wipe under toilet seat on seat and commode rim

Weekly Bathroom Maintenance
• Check GFCI operation
• Empty trash can
• Clean & sanitize the toilet
• Clean & sanitize the tub/shower
• Clean & sanitize vanity counter top
• Wash the floor
• Manage supplies

One-Time Bathroom Inspection
• Electricity
• All bathroom circuits trip when GFCI is activated
• Accessories won’t overload the bathroom circuit
• Location of GFCIs for tubs & sinks
• Location and marking of bathroom circuit breakers
• Water Supply
• Shut-off valves work
• Hot water properly controlled at faucets
• Max hot water temperature between 110-120 F
• Bath Area Fans
• Bath fan exhausts effectively
• Bath fan exhausts to outdoors (not attic)
• Bath fan housing is sealed to the ceiling/wall
• Fan-timer switch installed

• Plumbing Fixtures
• Toilet, tub, showers surrounds, sinks, countertops sealed
• Toilet, tub, shower, sink drain effectively & efficiently
• Tub / shower surround present
• Plunger & toilet brush available
• Sink overflow drains (if present)
• Toilet secured to the floor
• Toilet seat secured to commode
• Adequate water pressure to the house (40-80 psi)
• Adequate water flow to faucets, tub, shower(s), toilet
• All jets work on a jetted tub
• Plumbing drain pipes sloped to drain

• Water-Resistant Surfaces
• Painted walls (gloss paint)
• Tile grout sealed
• Wall & tub joints sealed to floor
• Floor not spongy
• Note: wall paper in a bathroom made of any material is never good
• Medicine Management
• Old medicines discarded properly (don’t flush them down the toilet)
• Unused medicines discarded
• Child-safety caps in place

• Air infiltration/exfiltration eliminated to contain bathroom moisture
• Wall holes air sealed (water pipes, drain pipes)
• Floor holes air sealed (baseboards, tub, shower)
• Subfloors holes air sealed (under tub/shower drains, toilets, thru bottom plate)
• Ceiling holes air sealed (bath fans, supply duct boots, light outlets)
• Attic holes air sealed (frame wall/drywall joints at top plate, thru top plate)
• Lighting
• Check light bulbs (ideally, replace w/ LED bulbs)
• Air Circulation
• Open supply registers

• Plan and carry out an approved project for your family [by yourself]
• Submit report
• How the project benefited your family
• Who did the project (You!!!)
• What is the project?
• Why this project?
• Where did you do the project?
• How did you do the project?
• What is the impact of the project?

Discussion:
Family Project Ideas to do by Yourself
Bathroom Inspection

• Plan and carry out a project with family members
• Discuss the following w/ Merit Badge Counselor
• Objective/Goal of the project
• How individual members participated
• Results of the project

Family Project Ideas to do w/ Your Family
Improve Bathroom

• Discuss how to plan and carry out a family meeting
• Conduct one or more family meetings to cover required topics
• May be with only one or both of your Parents or Guardians

Skipper’s Meeting Rule
• Never go to a meeting w/ blank sheet of paper!
• Shorter meeting
• You’ll probably get most, if not all, you want because nobody else thought
• Likely to be regarded as a leader

• Family Meeting Topics
• Avoiding Substance Abuse, including
• Drugs
• Alcohol
• Tobacco
• Morphing into an Adult
• Growing Up Process
• Physical Changes
• Responsible Sexual Decisions
• Impact of Your Chores on Family

• Family Meeting Topics (continued)
• Money Management
• Personal
• Family
• A Crisis Situation in your Family
• Affect of Technology on your Family
• Good etiquette and manners

Discussion: Conducting a Family Meeting

Conducting a Family Meeting
• Meet at regularly scheduled times
• Rotate meeting responsibilities (leader, secretary, time keeper)
• Encourage all family members to participate
• Discuss one topic and solve one problem at a time
• Use “I” (not “you”) messages
• Use problem-solving steps
• On reaching agreement, determine if consensus is reached
• If things get too hot to handle, anyone can call time-out
• End with something fun

Meeting Topic: Avoiding Substance Abuse

Meeting Topic: Morphing into an Adult
• Growing Up Process
• Dependence
• Independence
• Interdependence

• Physical Changes

• Responsible Sexual Decisions

Meeting Topic: Impact of Your Chores

Meeting Topic: Money Management
• Personal
• See Personal Management merit badge

Meeting Topic: Money Management
• Family

Meeting Topic: A Family Crisis Situation
• Death of a family member
• Job loss
• Emergency management
• Crashed vehicle
• Serious illness
• Drug Abuse
• Runaway
• Unexpected Pregnancy

Meeting Topic: A Family Crisis
• The X Plan: Your Way out of Peer Pressure
• https://bertfulks.com/2017/02/23/x-plan-giving-your-kids-a-way-out-xplan/
• First, have a family meeting on how this works in your family
• Test the plan, including how indicate where you are
• When you need to escape, text “X” to a family member
• Family member will call you
• Something has come up, and I’m coming to get you now
• I’ll tell you why after I pick you up
• Be ready to leave in 5 minutes

Meeting Topic: A Family Crisis
• Agreement
• Family member picks you up and asks no questions
• Caveat: If someone or something is in danger, you must speak up
• Post Mortem
• Since this is a life lesson, it’s best to grow from the experience
• We’ll talk about the incident as much or as little as you want to reveal
• The goal is to give you tools to handle similar situations in the future
• These issues don’t go away just because you became an adult!

Meeting Topic: Conflict of Wills
• A teen’s job is to become interdependent
• A parent’s job is to go from complete control to counselor
• You will have a contests of will!
• In my family
• I will lose as many fights with you as I can
• I will offer you my perspective to consider
• I will be there to support you when things go awry
• If I can’t lose the battle, I will tell you why, and expect to follow
• We can talk about what it takes to let go of this too

Meeting Topic: Technology Impact on Family
• Mobile Phones
• Television / Netflix / Videos
• Texting
• Smart Home
• Computers
• Microwave Oven
• Books
• Vehicles

Meeting Topic: Technology Impact on Family
• Positive & Negative Impact

Meeting Topic: Etiquette & Manners

Family Life Merit Badge Weekly Meetings
• 1 Reasons You are Important to Your Family
• 2 Individual & Family Projects
• 3 Avoiding Substance Abuse
• 4 Growing Up Process
• 5 Physical Changes
• 6 Responsible Sexual Decisions

• 7 Personal Money Management
• 8 Family Money Management
• 9 Dealing w/ a Family Crisis
• 10 Affect of Technology on Your Family
• 11 Good Etiquette & Manners
• 12 Impact of Chores

• Discuss w/ Merit Badge Counselor
• What Makes and Effective Father & Why
• Role of Father in Family
• Responsibilities of a Parent

What Makes an Effective Father?
• Being engaged w/ their children
• Talking w/ sons & daughters
• Playing w/ offspring
• Holding kiddos when they need it
• Sacrifice
• Leader
• Benevolent Dictator
• Trainer/Teacher
• Counselor
• Team Mate

3.3 Leadership/Followership Model
Stage 3: Guide
-Team members know what to do,
but lack confidence
- Leader is a Counselor
Stage 2: Demonstrate
-Team members know they don’t
know and are disillusioned
- Leader is a Coach
Stage 1: Explain
-Team members are excited but are a
bit clueless
- Leader is a Dictator
Stage 4: Enable
-Team members know what to do
without guidance or encouragement
- Leader is part of the team
This process is not static. The leader always works to develop the team. The
process starts over as each skill is introduced and progresses until mastered

Differences Between Mom & Dad
• Humor
• JustSomething.co/differences-mom-dad-parenting

Humor: Differences Between Mom & Dad

Discussion: What Makes an Effective Father?

Discussion: What is a Father’s Role?

• Fathers Play Differently
• Moms favor quiet play (timidity)
• Dads like physical games (aggression w/ boundaries)
• Teaches a healthy balance between timidity and aggression
• Fathers Build Confidence
• Moms encourage kids to be careful (safety)
• Dads encourage kids to push limits (confidence & judgement)
• Teaches to remain safe while expanding experiences & increasing confidence

• Fathers Communicate Differently
• Moms simplify words to speak on child’s level (immediate communication)
• Dads tend not to simply language for kids (challenge vocab & linguistics)
• Provide a building block for academic success
• Fathers Discipline Differently
• Moms stress sympathy, care, & help (based on relationship)
• Dads stress justice, fairness, & duty (based on rules)
• Recognizes consequences of right & wrong tempered w/ hopefulness

• Fathers Prepare Children for the Real World
• Moms promote home as a safe space
• Fathers stress attitudes and behaviors have consequences
• Prepares kids for reality & harshness of the world w/ loving family care
• Fathers Provide a Look at the World of Men
• Girls learn how proper men act toward women
• Healthier relationships w/ men and boys (knows what inappropriate behaviors are)
• Familiar w/ world of men (experience vs curiosity to avoid predators)
• Boys taught to channel masculinity & strength in positive ways
• Helps understand proper hygiene, male sexuality, and behavior
• Taught to love mom & sisters, impacting ultimately their future wife

Conclusion
• Involved Fathers—especially biological ones—bring positive benefits
to their children no one else is likely to bring
• Davide Popenoe, Life Without Father, 1997

Discussion: Parental Responsibilities
• Safeguard & Promote a Child’s Health, Development, and Welfare;
• Provide a Child w/ Appropriate Direction & Guidance;
• Maintain Personal Relations & Direct Contact w/ a Child;
• Act as the Child’s Legal Representative.
Children (Scotland) Act, 1995

• Safeguard & Promote a Child’s Health, Development, and Welfare

• Provide a Child w/ Appropriate Direction & Guidance

• Maintain Personal Relations & Direct Contact w/ a Child

• Act as the Child’s Legal Representative

How to Complete Family Life Merit Badge
• Any requirements in black completed today (Pages 2-8) (#1, 6a, 6b, 7a, 7b)
• Finish requirements in blue
• Complete w/ parents or guardians
• Find Troop counselor to discuss results
• Ensure Troop merit badge counselor approves individual project
• Schedule family meetings to discuss each topic (12)
• Maybe time with mom or dad at McDonalds, Chick-fil-A, etc.
• Dinner table conversation
• Get chores list approved by Troop merit badge counselor immediately

• 1 Reasons You are Important to Your Family
• 2 Individual & Family Projects
• 3 Avoiding Substance Abuse
• 4 Growing Up Process
• 5 Physical Changes
• 6 Responsible Sexual Decisions

• 7 Personal Money Management
• 8 Family Money Management
• 9 Dealing w/ a Family Crisis
• 10 Affect of Technology on Your Family
• 11 Good Etiquette & Manners
• 12 Impact of Chores
Be Sure Skipper Gets an Email Address Before You Leave!

Family Life Merit Badge_Merit Badge Day 4 Nov 17

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