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Uploaded byLouise Stanger Ed.D, LCSW, CDWF, CIP
Shame resilience - Heroic families - Parallel processes
The document discusses strategies for helping families navigate challenges related to mental health and substance abuse, emphasizing the importance of emotional attunement and parallel processes. It highlights the need for counselors to adopt a client-centered approach, use motivational interviewing, and establish healthy boundaries. Additionally, it addresses family dynamics and the role of external motivators in facilitating change for resistant clients.
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Shame resilience - Heroic families - Parallel processes
- 1. Shame Resilience- Heroic Families-Parallel Processes Dr.Louise A. Stanger LCSW, CIP and Jeffrey M. Merrick Esquire
- 2. Jeffrey J. Merrick,Esq. Attorney / Interventionist Hollywood, California (949) 280-3603 jeffrey@attorneymerrick.com Dr. Louise A. Stanger, Ed.D, LCSW, CIP Interventionist, Author, Speaker West Hollywood, California (619) 507-1699 Allaboutinterventions.com
- 3. Objectives Identify external motivatorsand collateral processes for the resistant client Learn alignment strategies using Motivational Interviewing and Solution Focused Therapy Practice the art of Crucial Conversations Practice Parallel Processes Identify Emotional Attunement Practice Reflective Listening and Speaking Identify Ways to Integrate these strategies into your practice Care Advocacy for the client in treatment
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- 6. How do ourclients arrive ?
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- 9. Dance Mental /Physical Health Issues Substance Abuse Sudden Death Financial Crisis Legal Crisis
- 10. Family Strengths Communication Caring Health Commitment Resilience Spirituality
- 11. Attributes of HealthyFamilies ( McMannis PHD & McMannis MSW) Talking & Loving Expressing Language Adapting to Change Sharing Time Together Who’s in Charge Balancing Closeness & Difference Accepting Difference Seeing The Positive Effective Problem Solving Parenting Together
- 12. Families with SA& MH Are behavioral systems in which SA and MH-related behaviors have become the central organizing structure An identity is forged around this, family accommodates to the special needs of the person with SA or MH behavior Daily rituals reflect this new identity and can alter the balance that exists between growth and regulation in the family Families begin to count on a conscious or unconscious way of this new identity and are somewhat resistant to change -- in other words SA is actually maintained by the family Hence the introduction of change most often appears as emphasis on short term stability at the expense of long term growth. Family distortions
- 13. Good - NotSo Good
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- 15. Family Fusion Lackof personal space Taking over-Controlling Blurred Lines Blaming Power Denying Rescuing / Faulty Reasoning Boundaries Getaway Driving Bailout
- 16. So What Typeof Families Do You Encounter? Agreeable Family –Does everything you ask The Invisible Family-always in the background The Questioner- calls all the time and emails … The Know it all-Knows everything about everything The Talker – Talks –Talks and Talks The Complainer- Nothing is ever good enough The Worrier The Micro-Manager The Confuser-- says one thing does completely the opposite. Analysis / Paralysis
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- 18. Families are Hurting/ Experts (SFT) 1.Client is the expert about their own life 2. Professionals adopt posture of not knowing (easier said then done)!
- 19. Solution Focused Coaching Notnecessary to understand deeper cause or meaning Goals are defined by client, focusing on the possible and changeable, honoring client choice Small change is often all that is possible
- 20. Families/Clients are experts 3.Counselor expertise is called along the way. 4. Remember this is not about you 5. Avoid one upmanship
- 21. Assumption: Families areMotivated Probability of behavior change or movement toward or against goal Extrinsic……. Intrinsic …… What are they motivated to do?
- 22. Braving- Trust- Brene’Brown…….. B-Am I clear in helping client respect their own boundaries? R-Am I reliable did I do what I said I was going to do? A-Did I hold myself accountable V -Did I respect confidentiality and share I- Did I act from integrity? N did I ask for what I needed-Was I nonjudgmental ? G-Was I generous in my interpretation of myself and others
- 23. Parallel Processes Families musthave opportunities to grow alongside their loved one that is in treatment The Truth is all parents fail their children … The Task of growing is to find our own ways of parenting ourselves To Parent from a Place of Love Krissy Pozatek. LICSW
- 24. Parallel Process Letting Goof the reins Emotional Attunement Listening-Reflective Learning how to speak Shifting Responsibility Back to your loved one Separate but coordinated processes -- bringing in our clients’ motivators
- 25. Who Moved MyCheese? Traps to Avoid Expert Question- Answer Labels Taking sides Blaming Others Runaway Defense – Healthy versus Unhealthy Help? Know your boundaries
- 26. Intervention Treatment Indicated /Client Unwilling Client in Trouble / Loss of Control Family Focus Higher/ Problem More Visible Court Involvement / Assistance Maximum Consequences / Leverage / External Motivators In Custody / Threat of Custody / Return to Custody Access to client over time / Single location More Willingness / Freedom vs. Treatment Needs Attorney, Bail, Etc. Redefining Freedom Fear – The Great Motivator
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- 29. Assumptions To Avoid Person OUGHT to change Person WANTS to change Persons health is prime motivation factor If she/he decides not to change consultation is a failure Individuals are either motivated to change or they are not Now is the right time to consider change A tough approach is always the best approach I am the expert and know best I am right my child, young adult , grown child is wrong A equalitarian approach is always best
- 30. Strategies for HandingResistance Clarification Shift focus away from stumbling block Emphasize Personal Choice and Control What Are The External Motivators?
- 31. Crucial Conversations Client isalways right Agree with clients goal, its about choice Use client’s language Develop Compliments to support change
- 32. Case Examples Iwant to know everything that is said in treatment You are not responding to my child’s needs You call yourself a case manager? You can’t talk to me?
- 33. BBC- Bars- Boardroomsand Court
- 34. Bar Intervention Substance Abuse-Alcohol & Other Drugs Mental Health Breast Cancer Survivor Intergenerational Issues Relational Attachment Issues
- 35. In The LawOffice…………. Alice - 42 Alcohol Dependant Divorce Falls Asleep on Desk Empty Bottles in Trash Can Work Complaints Security Complaints Partner-Super Lawyer
- 36. In the Courtroom…… Motherof Defendant –Psychic Defendant- Drug Charges SA and MH issues
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- 38. King Baby Iam very important and only can talk with the CEO at least 3 times a day at my loved one
- 39. Queen Baby The problemis you, your treatment center does not understand our daughter. She is unique My daughter must talk to me at least once a day My daughter demand s a special diet My daughter wants her phone What you need to know about my daughter is … You’re my lawyer – I hired you! Oh no you don’t! That’s not the outcome I like!
- 40. Family’s After Treatment–Heroic Operate from a Place of Love Shift Responsibility from bailing out to responsible choice Attunement Individualization Healthy Boundaries-enforce consequences Own Recovery Talking care of themselves Good physical health Emotionally sound Acting from ones values
- 41. Heroic Counselors HelpCreate Heroic Families
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- 43. Resources The Daring Way-Raising Strong -Brene’ Brown Crucial Conversations – Patterson etal The Parallel Processes- Kathy Prozatek LICSW The Journey of The Heroic Parent –Brad M Reedy PHD If You Meet The Buddha On The Road-Kill Him- Sheldon Kopp Motivational Interviewing- Miller and Rollnick http://www.motivationalinterviewing.org Solution Focused Therapy- Young and Berg Dr Louise Stanger http://www.allaboutinterventions.com