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Ending relationships outline· Introduction· Numb XXXTencion·
- 1. Ending relationships outline · Introduction · Numb XXXTencion · Quick discussion question: · What kind of emotions do you feel from the song? · What can the lyrics remind you of? · Quote: · “Being together with someone in such an intimate space for so long creates a third, overlapping psychological entity that comprises both partners.” -Mark Mason self-help author. · Breaking off can be painful but not necessarily negative. It can end on good terms, when two people determine they are better off separated. · Disclaimer · Ending relationships are always hard. This can be relationships between friends, family, co-workers etc. Disclaimer, this presentation will mostly focus on patterns with romanic relationships between male and female including marriage, since there are more research and information on it. · Schedule · Signs that a relationship is ending · Friendship · Professional setting · Romantic partner · 5 stages of framework for relationship termination and de- escalation · Relational tensions · Conflict pattern · Delivery method · Discussion 1 · How do you know that a relationship sis deteriorating or falling apart? (Telltale signs) · Between friends · Between lovers
- 2. · In a professional setting · Are there any similarities or differences between these signs? · Signs of deterioration · Friendship · Loss of communication and contact is enough for the other to “get the message”. 1. Lets them know that you are busy and not available. 1. May need to explain and have a conversation with close friends. . Professional 2. Loss and decrease of communication on personal private information 1. Keeping it work-related only 1. Separation of spheres. · Signs of deterioration continued · Verbal · Loss of communication · Hurtful words · Constant arguments · Non-verbal · Physical distance · Loss or excessiveness of skinship and physical touch. · Raised voices in pitch and loudness · Knapp, Vangelisti, and Caughlin (2013) · 5 stages of framework for relationship termination and de- escalation · Differentiating: when the difference between relationship partners begin to outweigh the similarities · Circumscribing: when partner communication becomes superficial and nonverbal expressions of emotions and affection are restrictive · Stagnating: communication virtually stops and nonverbal behaviors of closeness and affiliation shut down. · Avoiding: where couples physically separate and aren't seen in public together anymore. All communication cease.
- 3. · Terminating: the final stage in which couples end their relationship. · Relational tensions · Arise from the decision making a couple faces in developing and defining their relationship. · Talk and resolve · One might decide the tensions are too great to overcome and separate. · Discussion 2 · What are some common topics/ values that couples may have a conflict on? · What are some gender stereotypes for these conflicts? · How might they act? · How might they approach the conflict? 2. Which gender might bring up that there is a problem first? · Potential relational tensions and how to resolve them . Autonomy vs connection 1. Autonomy: the extent to which a person values individual pursuits aside from the relationship. . Power vs empowerment 2. Egalitarian relationships: practices empowerment, a power to mentality. 1. Partners have equal power and authority. They share responsibilities equally without regard for gender roles, income level, job demands and so forth. . Acceptance vs change 3. Straight females may look at their partners as “projects”. 3. Psychologist Carl Rogers mentions, “real change in people seems to be possible only when a person feels completely secure and accepted in a relationship.” 3. “It is ok to compromise your preferences from time to time. It is not ok to compromise on your values.” Mark Manson self- help author. . Views on intimacy 4. Physical or sexual closeness 4. Relational currencies: recognized and agreed-upon ways of
- 4. conveying affection, information, caring. . Commitment 5. Involves the decision to stay in the relationship but also implies a coordinated view of the future for the relationship 5. Turning points: critical moments in the life of a relationship that alter the relationship in some way. 5. Relational talk: conversation about the relationship itself. · Conflict pattern . Demand-withdraw pattern 1. One partner brings up a problem, criticize and blames the other, then ask for or demands a change. 1. The other partner tries to avoid the discussion, becomes defensive and withdraws from the conflict all-together. 1. Men are more likely to avoid conflict, and women are more likely to approach it . Digital methods of communicating 2. Able to pause, think, respond, backtrack at recorded sent messages. 2. “We can pause without lapsing into silence, and we can fall silent without ending the conversation.” -Damon Krukowski. . Meta-communication: talk about communication pattern · Delivery method: . Levine and Fitzpatrick, 2005. Preferred delivery method for breaking up with someone 1. Face to face conversation (43%) 1. Phone calls (32%) 1. Instant messages (10%) 1. E-mail messages (8%) 1. Voice mail messages (3%) 1. Written letters (2%) 1. Third party (2%) . The study was conducted in 2005, the rate for instant messages, or lack of messages (ghosting) is more prevalent in today’s day and age. . Suggested delivery method 3. Face to face
- 5. 1. Offer closure 1. Act with integrity 1. private/ semi-private environment 1. Give cool down time. 3. Digital means 2. Relationship have been mostly digital 2. Long distance relationships 2. Potential physical harm/danger · Discussion 3 . Any personal stories or stories you have heard about break ups? 1. What do you think went well/ not so well? 1. How could it have went better? Chapter 8 Pictures, porn and pop The power of mediated communication and effects on our lives · Hypodermic needle/ direct effects theory: viewed mass audience as passively and directly consuming mediated messages. · Minimal effects model: argues that consumer were only minimally affected by mediated messages, and that they selectively exposed themselves to media messages and selectively retained those messages that reinforced or were consistent with behaviors, attitudes, and values they already heald. · Uses and gratification theory: active users of media, consumers are motivated to use various media and what gains, rewards, or gratification they receive from such consumption. · Agenda setting research: media create pictures in our heads, proposed that media does not merely report, reflect, or dramatize what is important in society. They actually guide what we think is important. · Cultivation theory: suggest that media consumption, especially heavy TV viewing, leads individuals to perceive the world in
- 6. ways that are consistent with television portrayals. · Cultural studies: more interpretive and intuitive… “How media and cultures are died to the actual patterns of communication in daily life” Advertising: Selling a product or selling sexism · Courtney and Whipple produced a list of trends and female gender stereotypes prevalent in advertising · Depicted as sex objects more often in sleepwear, underwear, and lingerie than in professional clothing · Young girls and women portrayed as passive and in need of men’s help and protection · Kitchen and bathroom product representatives · Personal hygiene products · Serving men and boys · More depicted in family and home oriented roles than in professional roles · Being obsessed with physical attractiveness · Fear depictions of older women than older men · Fewer depiction of minority women than men · Fewer women than men advertising expensive luxury products · Few in for sports · Overtly critical of feminist rights and issues · Women of color are presented poorly in quantity and quality of the roles. · Slight shift in research · Mager and Helgeson analyzed American magazine ads over a 50 year period, and found a trend “towards objective role portrayals of women daily equal to men”. · Dove campaign · Criticism that women in the campaign tended to be in good shape, none are extremely think or significantly overweight… and none are physically disabled. · Commodity feminism: co-opting of feminists language and imagery in order to create an association between a product and the desire for women’s liberation. · Women smoking as a sign of freedom, adventure and
- 7. youthfulness, when in fact they products actually enslave, age, and ultimately kill people · Ramno and himbo depictions: the image of men in advertising is either that os a solo conqueror of all he sees or a male bimbo. · Stud Corboy · Jock who can perform in all sports · Handyman, who can fix anything · Young and hip · Handsome ladie’s man · Kind and grandfatherly · Professional, knowledgeable · Couch potato man · Blue collor worker · Androgynous · Kid who needs a women to save him · Dismemberment ads: where bodies are separated into parts or body parts are shown immersed in or emerging from inanimate objects… · Emphasizing women’s sexuality or vulnerability · Fowler and Thomas (2015) found that · Men were less likely to be depicted as leading characters in ads than in times past · Male roles in ads became more congruent with changing gender roles in society · Men as father · Included more depiction of men with idealized physiques, counter to the trend in he U.S. culture of increasing male obesity · But, ads that show men barely clothed with perfect bodies and everything can encourage men to think of themselves as sex obejects. Lessons from the small screen · Convergence: merging of media content across various platforms · Does the media merely reflect what is happening in society or
- 8. actually creating the issues and trends that then become relevant in society… · Some also believe it is just exaggerated portrayals and overly dramatized situations are nowhere near the realities of common life. · Manipulated reality or constructed fiction · Mock macho sitcom: television situation comedy with a central theme of mocking or making fun of a middle-aged man’s anxieties · Playful Patriarch: male leading character in a sitcom who is typically a devoted husband and father, but who often admits he doesn't understand women. · Heteronormative: they represent heterosexuality as the norm or predominant form of huan relations, even though gay friends, family members, and coworkers are now almost a staple of scripted tv · Research indicate that a transgender person’s family relationships and family members’ reaction to the transition are critical to a successful process of identity reformation Lessons from the bug screen: Film and Gender · I was a better man with you, as a women, than I ever was as a man. I’ve just got to learn to do it without the dress”-Tootsies The communicative power of pronography · More women are victimnized than men in pornography · Destructive and degrading pornography · If you suppress women’s sexuality , you actually oppress them. · Censoring sexual expression actually would do more harm than good to women’s rights and safety · Some pornography is defineately bad · Child pornography, toxic waste… · Hardcore pornography: depicts or describes intercourse and or other sexual practices · Soft-core pornography: implied but not fully explicitly acted out on a screen or displayed.
- 9. · Today pornography is so seamlessly integrated into popular culture that embarrassment or sureptitiousness is no longer part of the equation...they are instantly accessible and distinction between soft and hard may be meaningless. · Pornographic materials that depict male dominance and female degradation have been found to arouse male viewers · Pornography consumption linked with en committi ng acts of sexual domination over women · Less likely to intervene as a bystander to stop an act of sexual violence · Higher level of intention to rape. · More likely to belive in rape myths 3. Women secretly desiring to be raped 1.