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Language Network




Elaboration
Elaboration




    Elaboration


Elaboration is the addition of
supporting details and explanations
to develop a description, a
narration, or an argument.
Elaboration



Imagine that you would like to get a dog.
Elaboration


Here are two          DOGS FOR SALE
ads you might
see in the      Dog for sale. $150.
local paper.    Lucky Call 555-8652

Which ad is     FUN-LOVING Golden/Yellow Lab
better?         named Spot loves cats and children,
                plays catch. Spot is 1 1/2 years old,
Why?            weighs 55 pounds, and is in good
                health. Shots current. $150.
                Call 555-3223.
Elaboration


Types of              DOGS FOR SALE
Elaboration
                Dog for sale. $150
                Lucky Call 555-8652
  Facts and
  Statistics    FUN-LOVING Golden/Yellow Lab
                named Spot loves cats and children,
  Descriptive   plays catch. Spot is 1 1/2 years old,
  Details       weighs 55 pounds, and is in good
                health. Shots current. $150.
                Call 555-3223.
Elaboration


As you write and revise, remember to elaborate.
Consider using...
Elaboration




 Elaboration

Sensory Details
Facts and Statistics
Incidents or Anecdotes
Specific Examples
Quotations
Visuals
Sensory Details


Sensory details are bits of information
you can collect through
your five senses.




         Use details to enrich your descriptive
         and narrative writing.
Sensory Details



                                      SENSORY DETAILS
LITERARY MODEL

The black stove, stoked with coal and firewood,
glows like a lighted pumpkin. Eggbeaters whirl,
spoons spin round in bowls of butter and sugar,
vanilla sweetens the air, ginger spices it; melting
nose-tingling odors saturate the kitchen. . . .
                 —Truman Capote, “A Christmas Memory”
Facts and Statistics


Facts are statements that can
be proved, and statistics are
facts expressed as numbers.




         Use facts and statistics to support
         your opinions, arguments, and ideas.
Facts and Statistics



                                 FACTS AND STATISTICS
STUDENT MODEL

The Panama Canal is among the greatest
engineering feats in the world. Begun in 1904, it
took ten years to build. By 1913 more than 43,400
workers were employed on the canal. They had to
drain swamps and cut through jungles. In all,
5,600 workers died from accidents or disease.
Incidents or Anecdotes


Incidents or anecdotes are brief
accounts of single events.




          Use them to round out your
          descriptions of people or events.
Incidents or Anecdotes


                                                  ANECDOTES
PROFESSIONAL MODEL

Show business tradition holds that whatever happens,
“the show must go on.” . . . Once flutist James Galway
was performing in an outdoor concert at Ravinia, just
north of Chicago. At one point in the show, when Galway
opened his mouth to take a breath, a large bug flew into
it. For a moment, he stopped playing and considered what
he might do. Then realizing the show must go on, he took
a great gulp and continued with his playing.
                         —Bob Sheperd, “The Show Must Go On”
Specific Examples




   Use specific examples
   to illustrate general
   statements or to show
   the characteristics of
   a group.
Specific Examples



                                         SPECIFIC EXAMPLE
PROFESSIONAL MODEL

The insurance industry has been burned recently by
earthquakes, hurricanes, and tornadoes. Florida’s
Hurricane Andrew alone bankrupted nine insurance
companies.
           —John F. Ross, “Risk: Where Do Real Dangers Lie?”
Quotations


Direct quotations are records

of people’s exact words.




         Use quotations to illustrate ideas or
         to lend authority to your opinions.
Quotations



                                        QUOTATIONS
STUDENT MODEL

The author Ambrose Bierce knew how to put
people in their place. In his humorous dictionary,
he defined edible as “good to eat and wholesome
to digest, as a worm to a toad, and a toad to a
snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a
man to a worm.”
Visuals



Use charts, graphs, and other
visuals to present complex
information more simply.
Visuals


             Gestation Periods for Mammals

400                                          365
350
300                                   275
250
200                                                 Days
                                148
150
100             61     63
50      19
  0
      Mouse    Dog   Cat      Sheep Buffalo Whale
Practice and Apply



Use an example to elaborate the
following sentence.


   1. Many problems, even serious world
      conflicts, have been solved without
      violence.
Practice and Apply



Provide facts or statistics to support the
following statement.
To see statistics you can use, click here.


    2. Although more women are working
       today than ever before, they still
       struggle for recognition and equal
       pay in the workplace.
Practice and Apply


 • In 1900, women made up about 18 percent of the
   work force.
 • In 1900, women were mostly employed in factories,
   on farms, and as servants.
 • In 1999, women made up about 47 percent of the
   work force.
 • Many women are underpaid and work in low-level
   jobs.
 • Women who have thrived in male-dominated
   businesses include Ann Fudge, a division president
   at Kraft Foods, and Muriel Siebert, the first woman
   to buy a seat on the New York Stock Exchange.



return to
Practice and Apply
Practice and Apply



Add an incident to the following
story idea.


   3. I had never been afraid of bugs.
Practice and Apply



Add sensory details to the
following statement.


   4. It was cool, so we made a campfire.
Practice and Apply



Use a quotation to support the
following essay topic.


   5. Students in our class have strong
      opinions about homework.

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Elaboration

  • 2. Elaboration Elaboration Elaboration is the addition of supporting details and explanations to develop a description, a narration, or an argument.
  • 3. Elaboration Imagine that you would like to get a dog.
  • 4. Elaboration Here are two DOGS FOR SALE ads you might see in the Dog for sale. $150. local paper. Lucky Call 555-8652 Which ad is FUN-LOVING Golden/Yellow Lab better? named Spot loves cats and children, plays catch. Spot is 1 1/2 years old, Why? weighs 55 pounds, and is in good health. Shots current. $150. Call 555-3223.
  • 5. Elaboration Types of DOGS FOR SALE Elaboration Dog for sale. $150 Lucky Call 555-8652 Facts and Statistics FUN-LOVING Golden/Yellow Lab named Spot loves cats and children, Descriptive plays catch. Spot is 1 1/2 years old, Details weighs 55 pounds, and is in good health. Shots current. $150. Call 555-3223.
  • 6. Elaboration As you write and revise, remember to elaborate. Consider using...
  • 7. Elaboration Elaboration Sensory Details Facts and Statistics Incidents or Anecdotes Specific Examples Quotations Visuals
  • 8. Sensory Details Sensory details are bits of information you can collect through your five senses. Use details to enrich your descriptive and narrative writing.
  • 9. Sensory Details SENSORY DETAILS LITERARY MODEL The black stove, stoked with coal and firewood, glows like a lighted pumpkin. Eggbeaters whirl, spoons spin round in bowls of butter and sugar, vanilla sweetens the air, ginger spices it; melting nose-tingling odors saturate the kitchen. . . . —Truman Capote, “A Christmas Memory”
  • 10. Facts and Statistics Facts are statements that can be proved, and statistics are facts expressed as numbers. Use facts and statistics to support your opinions, arguments, and ideas.
  • 11. Facts and Statistics FACTS AND STATISTICS STUDENT MODEL The Panama Canal is among the greatest engineering feats in the world. Begun in 1904, it took ten years to build. By 1913 more than 43,400 workers were employed on the canal. They had to drain swamps and cut through jungles. In all, 5,600 workers died from accidents or disease.
  • 12. Incidents or Anecdotes Incidents or anecdotes are brief accounts of single events. Use them to round out your descriptions of people or events.
  • 13. Incidents or Anecdotes ANECDOTES PROFESSIONAL MODEL Show business tradition holds that whatever happens, “the show must go on.” . . . Once flutist James Galway was performing in an outdoor concert at Ravinia, just north of Chicago. At one point in the show, when Galway opened his mouth to take a breath, a large bug flew into it. For a moment, he stopped playing and considered what he might do. Then realizing the show must go on, he took a great gulp and continued with his playing. —Bob Sheperd, “The Show Must Go On”
  • 14. Specific Examples Use specific examples to illustrate general statements or to show the characteristics of a group.
  • 15. Specific Examples SPECIFIC EXAMPLE PROFESSIONAL MODEL The insurance industry has been burned recently by earthquakes, hurricanes, and tornadoes. Florida’s Hurricane Andrew alone bankrupted nine insurance companies. —John F. Ross, “Risk: Where Do Real Dangers Lie?”
  • 16. Quotations Direct quotations are records of people’s exact words. Use quotations to illustrate ideas or to lend authority to your opinions.
  • 17. Quotations QUOTATIONS STUDENT MODEL The author Ambrose Bierce knew how to put people in their place. In his humorous dictionary, he defined edible as “good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, and a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.”
  • 18. Visuals Use charts, graphs, and other visuals to present complex information more simply.
  • 19. Visuals Gestation Periods for Mammals 400 365 350 300 275 250 200 Days 148 150 100 61 63 50 19 0 Mouse Dog Cat Sheep Buffalo Whale
  • 20. Practice and Apply Use an example to elaborate the following sentence. 1. Many problems, even serious world conflicts, have been solved without violence.
  • 21. Practice and Apply Provide facts or statistics to support the following statement. To see statistics you can use, click here. 2. Although more women are working today than ever before, they still struggle for recognition and equal pay in the workplace.
  • 22. Practice and Apply • In 1900, women made up about 18 percent of the work force. • In 1900, women were mostly employed in factories, on farms, and as servants. • In 1999, women made up about 47 percent of the work force. • Many women are underpaid and work in low-level jobs. • Women who have thrived in male-dominated businesses include Ann Fudge, a division president at Kraft Foods, and Muriel Siebert, the first woman to buy a seat on the New York Stock Exchange. return to Practice and Apply
  • 23. Practice and Apply Add an incident to the following story idea. 3. I had never been afraid of bugs.
  • 24. Practice and Apply Add sensory details to the following statement. 4. It was cool, so we made a campfire.
  • 25. Practice and Apply Use a quotation to support the following essay topic. 5. Students in our class have strong opinions about homework.