The document discusses effective interpersonal communication, emphasizing the importance of being understood in social interactions and relationships. It outlines various aspects of communication, including barriers, the communication process, types of communication, and the significance of feedback and listening skills. The course aims to provide an overview of verbal and non-verbal communication, identify obstacles to effective communication, and suggest strategies for improvement.

1. The Basics of Effective
Interpersonal Communication
BY SUSHILA BAHL

2. Have you ever met
someone with whom you
just could not
communicate?
A person who, for some
reason, seems to bristle upon
our approach, leaving
communication as we know it
completely out of the
question?

3. Have you ever been
misunderstood by
someone?
Have you ever said or did
something, with pure motives
and good intentions, which
was misinterpreted?

4. Which is more important
in social interactions and
interpersonal
relationships?
The actual behavior or the
motivation behind the
behavior?

5. No matter how important
our motives are, people
read us by what they see
and hear
not by what we want
them to see and hear

6. Our ability to understand
how people see and hear
us is critical to effective
communications

7. English is a crazy language
 There is no egg in eggplant; neither apple nor pine in
pineapple.
 English muffins weren't invented in England or
French fries in France.
 If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of
booth beeth?
 One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
 Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but
not one amend

8. Communication
 Efficient communication is ESSENTIAL
to being successful in life.
 The biggest source of interpersonal
problems is poor communications.
 The key to the communication process
is to be UNDERSTOOD.

9. Communication
 ‘Among personal qualities
possessed by college graduates the
ability to communicate effectively
was ranked first by employers.’

10. Before you begin…
 What do I already know about
interpersonal communication?
 What are my learning goals for this
program?
 How do I think I will be able to apply my
learning on the job?

11. Course Content
 This program will cover:
 What communication is
 Why and how we communicate
 Barriers to communication
 Sharing ideas
 Getting information from others
 Giving constructive feedback
 Body language

12. Course Objectives
 The objectives of this program are to:
 provide a basic overview of verbal and
non-verbal interpersonal communication
processes
 identify personal obstacles to effective
interpersonal communication
 define some strategies for improving
individual and group communications

13. What is communication?
 What do you think communication is?
How would you define it?
Take a few moments to
write down some of
your thoughts…

14. Communication
 Communication is defined as the interchange
of thoughts or opinions through shared
symbols; e.g. language, words, phrases
 Communication is a process of coding &
decoding messages.
 Derived from the Latin word “communis”
which means to share i.e sharing of ideas ,
concepts, feelings & emotions.

15. Four facets of communication
 Three are four facets in all types of
communication:
 Sender
 Receiver
 Information
 Behavior

16. Basic Elements Of
Communication
 Sender / Encoder / Speaker
 Receiver/ Decoder / Listener
 Message
 Medium / Channel
 Feedback

17. Four facets of communication
 In any communication:
 The Sender is the person trying to
communicate a message
 The Receiver is the person at whom the
message is directed
 A message is sent to convey information
 Information is meant to change behavior

18. The Communication Process – The Transmission
Model
Noise
Feedback
Noise
Sender
Encoding
Channel
Decoding
Receiver
Noise
Noise
Feedback

19. Types of NOISE
 Channel Noise - External interference in
the communication process.
 Semantic Noise - Message gets through
as sent but is not understandable to the
receiver.
 Psychological Noise - Internal factors
that lead to misunderstandings in the
communication process.

20. SENDER
Self-concept
Family
Culture
Skills
Feelings
Attitudes
Values
RECEIVER
Self-concept
Family
Culture
Skills
Feelings
Attitudes
Values
CHANNEL
Television,
telephone,
speaking, writing,
computer
MESSAGE
FEEDBACK
INTERFERENCE
CONTEXT
Environment,
status, time

21. Shared symbols
 Sometimes when we communicate we
assume we are using shared symbols
when we might not be
 Think about the term “asap”, “as soon as
possible”. What does it really mean?
 Think about how the meaning might change
in the situations on the next slide…

22. Shared symbols
 How might your meaning of “asap” change in
these situations?…
 Someone from another department calls. He
needs some detailed information asap; but you
are already rather busy.
 A coworker comes to you for help with an
assignment. She needs you asap; but you have
another job to finish before lunch.
 Your immediate supervisor, whom you like to
please, asks you to type a memo for her asap; but
you already have a stack of other jobs to finish.

23. Shared symbols
 Someone from another department calls.
He needs some detailed information asap;
but you are already rather busy.
 In this situation, you might interpret “asap”
as “when I have finished all of my own
work and have a chance to get to it. It
might be tomorrow or the next day.”

24. Shared symbols
 A coworker comes to you for help with an
assignment. She needs you asap; but you
have another job to finish before lunch.
 In this situation, you might interpret “asap”
as “after I have finished my own work, I
will help out after lunch”.

25. Shared symbols
 Your immediate supervisor, whom you like
to please, asks you to type a memo for her
asap; but you already have a stack of
other jobs to finish.
 In this situation, you might interpret “asap”
as “I’ll do this now and finish my other
work afterwards”.

26. Shared symbols
 In the previous examples, we’ve seen the
meaning of “asap” change from “in a few
days” to “immediately”.
 Many other words and phrases are also
vague and have different meanings for
different people.
 Shared symbols are not always completely
shared. The message intended is not always
the message received.

27. Missed communication
As Purchasing
ordered it.
As the Art Dept.
designed it.
As the Supervisor
implemented it.
As the Manager
Requested it.
As Marketing
wrote it up.
What the Employee
really wanted!

28. Why does
Communication fail?

29. Why does
Communication fail?
We need to hire 10
more salespersons
We need 10
more in sales
Increase sales
by 10
We’ll have to
increase profit
by 10
If we are
going to
increase
profits, we’ll
have to cut
costs.
We’ll have to
cut 10 sales
people
%$&*
@#

30. Why do we communicate?
 What do you think?
Take a few moments to
write down some of
your thoughts…

31. Why we communicate
• We communicate to:
• Share our ideas and opinions
• Provide feedback to others
• Get information from others
• Gain power and influence
• Develop social relationships
• Maintain self-expression and our culture
• and other ideas you may have thought of

32. How do we communicate?
 Think of the many ways in which you
communicate…
Take a few moments to
write down some of
your thoughts…

33. How we communicate
 We communicate and build
interpersonal relationships through:
 Speech
 Writing
 Listening
 Non-verbal language
 Music, art, and crafts

34. Choosing your medium
 Depending upon the situation, one method
of communication may be better than
another.
 In person: one-to-one
 In person: meetings, small groups
 In person: presentations, large groups
 Letter
 Memo
 Note
 Email
 Voice mail

35. Choosing your medium
 To determine the best medium for your
message determine:
 What you as the sender need to achieve
 What the receiver needs to know. What
the receiver wants to know
 How detailed, important, and or personal
the information in the message is
 Which behavior you want to influence and
how

36. Choosing your medium
 How would you communicate…
 an organizational change in your unit
 the introduction of a new employee
 a change in someone’s job duties
 a reprimand
 notice of a meeting
Take a few moments to write down some of
your thoughts…

37. Choosing your medium
 The best way to communicate…
 an organizational change in your unit by
memo and small group meetings
 the introduction of a new employee by
group and one-on-one meetings
 a change in someone’s job duties by
memo and one-on-one meeting
 a reprimand in a one-on-one private meeting
 notice of a meeting by memo and email

38. Difference between oral and
written communication
 Oral communication – interactive, fluid,
brief, non-restrictive in place, immediate
feedback.
 Written Communication - non
Interactive, restrictive in place, feedback not
immediate, longer with respect to time.

39. Communication network in an
Organization (Internal)
 Internal – Formal & Informal
 Vertical
 Horizontal
 Diagonal

40. External Communication
External customers( can be written or oral)
 Advertising
 Media
 Public Relations
 Presentations
 Negotiations
 Mails
 Telegrams
 Letters

41. Communication
 Communication occurs in three
directions in organizations
 Upward communications
 Downward communications
 Lateral communications

42. I Heard It on the Grapevine
 The grapevine is an
informal communication
network within an
organization.
 Research reflects that
about 75 % of the
communication in the
grapevine is accurate.

43. Communications – Did you know?
 People remember:
 10 percent of what they read
 20 percent of what they hear
 30 percent of what they see
 50 percent of what they see and hear
 80 percent of what they say
 90 percent of what they say and do

44. Communications – Did you know?
 If you tell 100 people something without
repetition:
 After 24 hours, 25 percent have forgotten it
 After 48 hours, 50 percent have forgotten it
 After 72 hours, 75 percent have forgotten it
 After one week, 96 percent have forgotten it

45. Barriers to communication
 What are barriers to communication
that exist in any work setting?
Take a few moments to
write down some of
your thoughts…

46. Barriers to communication
 Some common barriers to interpersonal
communication include:
 Unclear process: The receiver and sender may not share
the same language, slang, jargon, vocabulary, symbols
 Chain of command: There may be too many layers that a
message passes through between sender and receiver
 Large size of an organization, geographic
distance: Large numbers of receivers require good message
sending methods
 Personal limitations: Physical and mental disabilities,
and differences in intelligence and education may interfere with
mutual understanding

47. Barriers to communication
 Additional common barriers to interpersonal communication include:
 Human nature: Peoples’ egos, prejudices, and traditions can get in
the way
 Conflicting feelings, goals, opinions: If people feel on opposite
sides of an issue they may not share
 Power: The idea that knowledge is power can lead to information
hoarding
 Improper timing – Is the boss distracted today?
 Selective Perception – receiver hears message based on his/her
interests, needs, motivations, experience, background and other
personal characteristics.
 Defensiveness – response when receiver interprets message as
threatening
 and other ideas you may have thought of

48. Sharing your ideas
 Why and when is it necessary to share
your ideas?
Take a few moments to
write down some of
your thoughts…

49. Share your ideas to…
 State an opinion or position
 Give instructions or directions
 Announce a change
 Make presentations
 Participate in meetings
 Give information in emergencies
 Communicate the organizational mission,
vision, and values

50. Obstacles to sharing ideas
 What can make sharing ideas difficult?
Take a few moments to
write down some of
your thoughts…

51. Obstacles to sharing ideas…
 Your own shyness
 Fear of rejection
 Peer pressure
 Unorganized thinking
 Others possibly becoming defensive
 Physical disabilities (impaired sight, hearing, speech)
 Having to deal with aggressive people

52. Speak for yourself…
 To ensure your messages are clear,
speak for yourself, not for others:
 Speaking for yourself sounds like:
 I, me, my…
 I think, I feel, I want to know that…
 Speaking for no one sounds like:
 It, some people, everyone, they decided…
 Speaking for others sounds like:
 We, you, John, Mary said…

53. SHARE your ideas – a model
 State the main point of your message
 Highlight other important points
 Assure the receiver’s understanding
 React to how the receiver responds
 Emphasize/summarize your main ideas

54. SHARE – an example
State the main point of your message
“I’d like to talk to you about the new employee welcome program”.
Highlight other important points
“We need to discuss the new schedule, locations, and presenters”.
Assure the receiver’s understanding
“Do you need me to further clarify how we are making invitations”?
React to how the receiver responds
“I understand your concern about parking”.
Emphasize/summarize your main ideas
“To wrap-up, I’ll develop the schedule and make the room
reservations, if you can line up the guest speakers”.

55. Getting good information
 Why is it necessary to get good
information from others?
Take a few moments to
write down some of
your thoughts…

56. Get good information to…
 Find out facts and details
 Get directions or instructions
 Try to understand another’s point of view
 Help someone solve a problem
 Resolve a team conflict
 Solve work problems

57. Obstacles to getting good
information
 What can make getting good
information difficult?
Take a few moments to
write down some of
your thoughts…

58. Obstacles to getting good
information
 Lack of trust
 Assuming you already know it all
 Jumping to conclusions
 Not valuing diverse opinions
 Weak reading skills
 Weak listening skills
 Weak questioning skills
 and other ideas you may have thought of

59. The power of listening
The philosopher Epictetus stressed the
power of listening in this quote:
“Nature gave us one tongue and two
ears so we could hear twice as much
as we speak.”

60. Listen actively
 Prepare to listen by focusing on the speaker
 Control and eliminate distractions so that you
can focus on the message. Don’t do anything else
(writing, reading, email) but listen
 Establish appropriate eye contact to show
interest
 See listening as an opportunity to get
information, share another’s views, and broaden
your own knowledge

61. Listen actively
 Create a need to listen by thinking about what
you can learn from the speaker
 Set aside the time to listen so that you won’t feel
rushed or become distracted by other responsibilities
 Don’t prejudge the message based on who is
delivering it. Focus instead on the content of the
message.
 Monitor the way you listen by asking yourself
questions such as “Did I really pay attention or was I
thinking about what I was going to say next”? “Was
there information I missed because I allowed myself
to become distracted”?

62. That’s a good question!
 Close end questions limit the answer to yes or no
 Open end questions allow the responder total
freedom in answering
 Direct questions ask for specific information; limit
answers to brief fact statements
 Probing questions follow up other questions to
solicit additional information
 Hypothetical questions present a theoretical
situation to which receiver responds
See examples of each on the next slide…

63. Good question - examples
Close end question
“Did you attend the staff meeting this morning”?
Open end question
“What was discussed at the staff meeting this morning”?
Direct question
“Which topics were listed on the meeting agenda”?
Probing question
“Can you tell me more about the first agenda topic”?.
Hypothetical question
“What would you have done, if you had not had the
chance to present your idea at the meeting”?

64. Exercise - Listening
Who are the people it’s easiest to listen to
What is it about these people that makes it easier to listen to
them?
Who are the people you listen to least? What is it about them that
makes it difficult to listen to them?

65. Giving feedback
 Why is it necessary to give constructive
feedback to others?
Take a few moments to
write down some of
your thoughts…

66. Give feedback when…
 Someone asks for your opinion
 Work errors occur frequently
 A coworker’s habits disturb you
 A coworker’s behavior has negative
consequences
 There are unresolved problems
 and other ideas you may have thought of
Constructive feedback focuses on facts not people,
solving problems instead of placing blame, and
strengthening relationships instead of “being right”

67. Obstacles to giving
constructive feedback
 What makes it hard to give
constructive feedback?
Take a few moments to
write down some of
your thoughts…

68. Feedback skills
Developing
effective feedback skills
Objective
Specific Goal oriented
Relevant
Well-timed Control

69. Obstacles to giving
constructive feedback
 Separating the person from the problem
 Others becoming defensive or angry
 Fear of negative consequences (especially if the
other person is a supervisor)
 Dealing with potential conflict (especially if the other
person is aggressive)
 Avoiding hurt feelings
 Preserving relationships
 Not having all the facts and jumping to conclusions
 Choosing the right time so that the other person is
most receptive
 and other ideas you may have thought of

70. STATE feedback – a model
 State the constructive purpose of
your feedback
 Tell specifically what you have observed
 Address and describe your reactions
 Tender specific suggestions for
improvement
 Express your support and respect for
the person

71. STATE feedback – an example
State the constructive purpose of your feedback
“I’d like to give you some feedback about your training style so that your
evaluations will be more positive and you will enjoy it more”.
Tell specifically what you have observed
“I notice that you rely heavily on your notes”.
Address and describe your reactions
“I feel as though you are unsure of yourself when you read”.
Tender specific suggestions for improvement
“I can help you develop a PowerPoint presentation so that you can use
the screens as a cue instead of being tied to your notes”.
Express your support for the person
“You know a lot about the subject. With practice you can become a good
trainer”.

72. Match Behavior & Perception
1. Insecurity 2. Defensiveness 3. Cooperation
4. Confidence 5. Nervousness 6. Frustration
Short breaths, “tsk” sound, clenched hands
Steepled hands, hands behind back, broad gestures
Arms crossed, sideways stance, touching and rubbing
nose, rubbing eyes, drawing away
Open hands, upper body in sprinter’s position, sitting on
edge of chair, hand-to-face gestures
Clearing throat, “whew” sound, whistling, fidgeting, tugging ears
Pinching flesh, chewing pen, biting fingernails

73. Match Behavior & Perception
1. Insecurity 2. Defensiveness 3. Cooperation
4. Confidence 5. Nervousness 6. Frustration
6 Short breaths, “tsk” sound, clenched hands
4 Steepled hands, hands behind back, broad gestures
2 Arms crossed, sideways stance, touching and rubbing
nose, rubbing eyes, drawing away
3 Open hands, upper body in sprinter’s position, sitting on
edge of chair, hand-to-face gestures
5 Clearing throat, “whew” sound, whistling, fidgeting, tugging ears
1 Pinching flesh, chewing pen, biting fingernails

74. BODY LANGUAGE

75. Body language
 Nonverbal communication, known as “body
language” sends strong positive and negative
signals. This is how much it influences any
message:
Words 7%
Tone of voice 38%
Non-verbal cues 55%
Message 100%

76. Body language includes…
 Face
 Figure
 Focus
 Territory
 Tone
 Time
Each of these is described in the following slides…

77. Body language - face
 Face includes:
 Your expressions
 Your smile or lack thereof
 Tilt of the head; e.g., if your head is tilted
to one side, it usually indicates you are
interested in what someone is saying
What message are you sending if someone is
presenting a new idea and you are frowning?

78. Body language - figure
 Figure includes:
 Your posture
 Your demeanor and gestures
 Your clothes and accessories such as
jewelry
What message are you sending if you are dressed
casually at an important meeting?

79. Body language - focus
 Focus is your eye contact with others
 The perception of eye contact differs by
culture. For most Americans…
 Staring makes other people uncomfortable
 Lack of eye contact can make you appear weak or
not trustworthy
 Glasses may interfere or enhance eye contact
What message are you sending if you are looking at
other things and people in a room when someone
is speaking to you?

80. Body language - territory
 Territory focuses on how you use
space. It is also called proxemics.
 The perception of territory differs by culture.
Most Americans are comfortable with an
individual space that is about an arm’s length
in diameter
What message are you sending if you keep moving
closer to a person who is backing away from you?

81. Body language - tone
 Tone is a factor of your voice
 Pitch is the highness or lowness of voice
 Volume is how loud your voice is
 Emphasis is your inflection
What message are you sending if during a
disagreement you start speaking very loudly?

82. Body language - time
 Time focuses on how you use time.
It is also called chronemics.
 Pace is how quickly you speak
 Response is how quickly you move
 Punctuality is your timeliness
What message are you sending if you are
consistently late for meetings?

83. Ideas to walk away with…
 People are always communicating
 The meaning intended by the sender is
never exactly the message gotten by
the receiver
 We can help to overcome barriers to
communication by being aware of them
 Verbal and non-verbal communication is
important in sending our messages

84. Test yourself…
1. Communication is defined as the interchange of thoughts or
opinions through shared symbols.
True___ False___
2. The four facets of interpersonal communication are sender,
receiver, information, and behavior.
True___ False___
3. Unclear process; chain of command; large size of an
organization or geographic distance; personal limitations;
human nature; conflicting feelings, goals, opinions; and
power are examples of barriers to communication.
True___ False___

85. Test yourself
4. Describe the steps of the SHARE model for giving good
information – share, highlight, assure, react, emphasize:
5. Describe the steps of the FOCUS model for getting good
information – focus, open end, close end, use, summarize:
6. Describe the steps of the STATE model for giving constructive
feedback – state, tell, address, tender, express:
7. Describe the the six aspects of non-verbal communication (body
language):

86. Test yourself… - answers
1. Communication is defined as the interchange of thoughts or
opinions through shared symbols.
True
2. The four facets of interpersonal communication are sender,
receiver, information, and behavior.
True
3. Unclear process; chain of command; large size of an
organization or geographic distance; personal limitations;
human nature; conflicting feelings, goals, opinions; power are
examples of barriers to communication.
True

87. Test yourself… - answers
4. The steps of the SHARE model for giving good information are:
 State the main point of your message
 Highlight other important points
 Assure the receiver’s understanding
 React to how the receiver responds
 Emphasize/summarize your main ideas
5. The steps of the FOCUS model for getting good information are:
 Focus the discussion on the specific information you need
 Open-end question to expand the discussion
 Close-end question to get specifics
 Use active listening skills to understand what you are hearing
 Summarize and close the discussion

88. Test yourself… - answers
6. The steps of the STATE model for constructive feedback are:
 State the constructive purpose of your feedback
 Tell specifically what you have observed
 Address and describe your reactions
 Tender specific suggestions for improvement
 Express your support for the person
7. The the six aspects of non-verbal communication (body language):
 Face – expressions, smile, tilt of head
 Figure – posture, demeanor, gestures, dress
 Focus – eye contact
 Territory – use of space
 Tone – voice pitch, volume, emphasis
 Time – the use time

89. Apply what you’ve learned
 When you started this program we asked you
to consider some questions. Let’s wrap up:
 What new things did you learn about interpersonal
communication?
 Did you meet your learning goals for this
program?
 Did you meet your supervisor’s expectations, if
any, for participation in this training?
 How will you be able to apply your learning on the
job?

90. What’s next?
 We hope you have enjoyed this program as an
overview of the basic verbal and non-verbal
communication skills needed in the workplace.
 The Professional Development Program offers
classroom sessions on this and other topics which
include numerous individual and group exercises to
enhance your learning.
 Please visit our web site http://uhr.rutgers.edu/profdev
to enroll or obtain more information.

91. THANK YOU