The document discusses how humans manage existential terror of mortality through "heroic projects" aimed at achieving a sense of immortality. It argues that sex, fame, and money are common heroic projects, but pursuing them primarily as vehicles for transcending death can lead to anxiety, injury, and unhappiness. The document advocates for managing one's anxiety, seeing oneself clearly including critically examining one's heroic projects, and embracing mortality as a finite part of existence.

1. The art of (201)
Photo by Seth Anderson [link]
self-coaching
Ed Batista
June 13, 2019
@StanfordGSB

2. Today’s topics…
Photo by Seth Anderson [link]

3. Sex, fame, money
Photo by Seth Anderson [link]
& death

4. More questions
Photo by Véronique Debord-Lazaro [link]

5. All preaching
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6. Who am I?
Executive coach
The Art of Self-Coaching
LeadLabs, Fellows, Touchy Feely
& Class of 2000

7. First Year
Photo by striatic [link]

8. Drop out?
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9. Nope
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10. Second Year!
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11. Sex, fame
We’ll start with mortality
No particular spiritual beliefs
Only one point of agreement necessary…
& money

12. We are mortal
Whatever follows or transcends this existence…
Our time together here is finite

13. We are mortal
Photo by Nick Mealey [link]

14. Rich & Roanak
Photo by Nick Mealey [link]

15. An abstraction
Photo by Nicholas Raymond [link]

16. I’m going to die
Photo by Robbie Grubbs [link]

17. Gratitude
Photo by James Wheeler [link]

18. Curiosity
Photo by Eric Mueller [link]

19. Photo courtesy Ernest Becker Foundation [link]
Ernest Becker
1924-1974
Soldier
Anthropologist
Philosopher

20. Photo courtesy Ernest Becker Foundation [link]
Ernest Becker
1924-1974
Liberated a Nazi camp

21. Photo by cavorite [link]
Ernest Becker

22. The human
paradox

23. The human
The essence of man is really his paradoxical
nature, the fact that he is half animal and
half symbolic.
~Ernest Becker
paradox

24. The human
He is a symbolic self, a creature with a name,
a life history, [but] his body aches & bleeds &
will decay & die. It is a terrifying dilemma.
~Ernest Becker
paradox

25. Terror
Photo by Robbie Grubbs [link]
management

26. Terror
This is the terror: To have a name, consciousness
of self, deep inner feelings, an excruciating inner
yearning for life and self-expression—and with
all this yet to die.
~Ernest Becker
management

27. Mortality
Photo by Nick Mealey [link]
& anxiety

28. Mortality
The fear of death must be present behind all
our normal functioning, in order for the
organism to be armed toward self-preservation.
~Ernest Becker
& anxiety

29. Mortality
But the fear of death cannot be present
constantly in one’s mental functioning, else the
organism could not function.
~Ernest Becker
& anxiety

30. Mortality
The basic motivation for human behavior is
our biological need to control our basic
anxiety, to deny the terror of death.
~Sam Keen
& anxiety

31. How?
Photo by Robbie Grubbs [link]

32. Heroic projects
Photo by askii [link]

33. Heroic projects
[Society is] a hero system that allows us to
believe that we transcend death by partici-
pating in something of lasting worth.
~Sam Keen

34. Heroic projects
How we manage existential terror
Efforts to transcend mortality
Necessary for our sanity

35. Heroic projects
And sometimes dangerous
Often pursued unconsciously
Can render us vulnerable to exploitation

36. Heroic projects
Can serve our animal or symbolic selves
Particularly powerful when they serve both

37. I was told there
Photo by Robbie Grubbs [link]
would be sex

38. Sex, fame
& money

39. Sex
(You see my dilemma)

40. Sex

41. Sex
Our animal self: Pleasure & reproduction
Our symbolic self: Descendants  immortality

42. Sex
Our sense of sexuality & attractiveness
Our body becomes a vehicle

43. The body as
Cults of “health” & “fitness”
Glorification of idealized forms
heroic project

44. The body as
heroic project

45. The body as
heroic project

46. The body as
Cults of “health” & “fitness”
Glorification of idealized forms
Preservation of vitality at all costs
heroic project

47. The body as
The results?
heroic project

48. The body as
Anxiety and injury
Dysmorphic and eating disorders
Inability to accept aging and decline
heroic project

49. It gets worse

50. It gets worse
Anxieties are heightened and exploited

51. Fame

52. Fame
To what purpose is all the toil and bustle of
this world? Is it to supply the necessities of
nature? The wages of the meanest laborer can
supply them. What then are the advantages of
that great purpose of human life which we call
bettering our condition?

53. Fame
To be observed, to be attended to, to be
taken notice of with sympathy are all the
advantages which we can propose to derive
from it. To feel that we are taken no notice
of disappoints the most ardent desires of
human nature. ~Adam Smith, 1759

54. Attention
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55. Attention
Our animal self: Attention  survival
Our symbolic self: Attention  immortality

56. Attention
Social media  Democratization of fame
Our public persona becomes a vehicle

57. Persona as
Presentation of an idealized self
Validation through others’ attention
heroic project

58. Persona as
The results?
heroic project

59. Persona as
heroic project

60. Persona as
heroic project

61. Persona as
heroic project

62. Persona as
Heightened social comparison
Lower self-esteem
heroic project

63. It gets worse
Source: Jean Twenge, 2017 [link]

64. It gets worse
Source: Jean Twenge, 2017 [link]
Risk of suicide
Unhappiness
Hours of screen time

65. It gets worse
Again, anxieties are heightened and exploited

66. Money

67. Money
What does money really buy?

68. Power
Photo by Seni Chunhacha [link]

69. Freedom
Photo by Charles Hoffman [link]

70. Safety
Photo by Virginia State Parks [link]

71. Money
Our animal self needs power, freedom & safety
Our symbolic self has unlimited appetites

72. Money
Defining feature of currency is fungibility
Whatever our needs, it will serve
Wealth becomes a vehicle

73. Wealth as
The critical question:
How much is enough?
heroic project

74. How much
Photo by Seni Chunhacha [link]
power?

75. How much
Photo by Charles Hoffman [link]
freedom?

76. How much
Photo by Virginia State Parks [link]
safety?

77. How much
We must decide what is sufficient
The world will urge us to want more
is enough?

78. It gets worse
#57
#667
#26

79. It gets worse
Wealth is the easiest yardstick
And social comparison is inevitable
Again, anxieties are heightened and exploited

80. What can we do?
Photo by Robbie Grubbs [link]

81. What can we do?
See ourselves clearly
Manage our anxiety
Embrace mortality

82. Photo by Andrea [link]
See ourselves
clearly

83. See ourselves
What are my heroic projects?
Have I chosen them consciously?
How might they might be exploited?
clearly

84. See ourselves
This requires…
An ongoing dialogue
Comfort with discomfort
A commitment to self-awareness
clearly

85. Manage our
Photo by Sara V. [link]
anxiety

86. Manage our
Anxiety and fear fuel our heroic projects
We can’t control these emotions
But we can influence them
& we can control behavior
anxiety

87. Manage our
This requires…
Mindfulness
Time and space
A commitment to self-care
anxiety

88. Embrace
Photo by Nick Mealey [link]
mortality

89. Embrace
Recognize the finite nature of this existence
Pursue a more meaningful life
mortality

90. Embrace
It helps to…
Read about it
Talk with others about it
Participate in related experiences
mortality

91. Embrace
There will still be terror
I know
mortality

92. Photo by zoomar [link]
Terror

93. Gratitude
Photo by James Wheeler [link]

94. Thank you
Photo by James Wheeler [link]