Here are the key steps I would take in responding to this situation: 1. Remain calm and polite. Express that I understand the parent's concern but cannot make demands or promises at this time. 2. Inform the parent that I will need to look into the situation and get more details before making a decision. Explain that there are policies and procedures to follow. 3. Thank the parent for bringing this to my attention and let them know I will be in touch with my supervisor to discuss appropriate next steps. 4. Contact my supervisor immediately to inform them of the situation and request guidance on how to properly address the complaint while respecting all students' rights and needs. 5. Follow my supervisor

2. Purpose
1. To deliver specific information to RAs about effective
interpersonal communication
0 Residents
0 Administration
0 Parents
2. Allow RAs to interact with each other to foster a greater
working relationship.
3. To prepare RAs to deal with different constituent groups
in the course of their residency
4. To gain a greater understanding of communication
competencies:
0 Active Listening
0 Conflict Resolution
0 Multicultural Self-Awareness
0 Communication Skills

3. Rationale of
Training Activities
Experiential learning: the process of making meaning
from hands-on learning.
Social Learning Theory: emphasizes the importance of
observing and recreating the behaviors and attitudes of
others.

4. Agenda
9:00am to 9:30am
Welcome (Intro, Pre-test, Icebreaker)
9:30am to 10:30am
Lost at Sea
10:30am to 10:45am
Break with Snacks!
10:45am to 11:30am
Active Listening
11:30am to 12:15pm
Confrontation Activity
12:15pm to 1:00pm
Lunch
1:00pm to 1:45pm
How Comfortable Am I? Activity
1:45pm to 2:30pm
Communication Skills
2:30pm to 3:30pm
Motivational Interviewing
3:30pm to 4:30pm
Supervisors & Parents
4:30pm to 5:00pm
Wrap Up/Questions/Post Test

6. Lost at Sea
Instructions
You are adrift on a private yacht in the South Pacific. As
a consequence of a fire of unknown origin, much of the
yacht and its contents have been destroyed. The yacht
is slowly sinking. You location is unclear because of the
destruction of critical navigational equipment and
because you and the crew were distracted trying to
bring the fire under control. You best estimate is that
you are approximately one thousand miles southsouthwest of the nearest land.

7. Lost at Sea
Below is a list of fifteen items that are intact and undamaged after the fire. In addition to these
articles, you have a serviceable rubber raft (with oars) large enough to carry yourself, the crew,
and all the items listed below. The total contents of all survivors’ pockets are a package of
cigarettes, several books of matches, and five one-dollar bills.
Your task is to rank the fifteen items below in terms of their importance to your survival. Place
the number 1 by the most important item, the number 2 by second most important, and so on
through number 15, the least important.
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
Sextant
Shaving Mirror
Five-gallon can of water
Mosquito netting
One case of U.S. Army C- rations
Maps of the Pacific Ocean
Seat Cushion (flotation device approved by the Coast Guard)
Two-gallon can of oil-gas mixture
Small transistor radio
Shark repellent
Twenty square feet of opaque plastic
One quart of 160-proof Puerto Rican rum
Fifteen feet of nylon rope
Two boxes of chocolate bars
Fishing kit

8. Lost at Sea
Using the answer sheet, the score is the difference between the actual
answer and the individual/group ranking.
Example: Sextant
Actual answer: 12
Individual/Group Ranking: 7
Score: 5
The lower the score the better. Calculate the score for each item and
add them to find the total score.
(These are the official answers as given by the U.S. Merchant Marines
in their recruit training)

9. Lost at Sea
_12_ Sextant (No good without the chronometer)
1 _ Shaving Mirror (Perfect for signaling passing aircraft)
_3 _ Five-gallon can of water (Can only survive app. 3 days without water)
_14_ Mosquito netting (There are no mosquitoes that far out at sea and
mosquito netting does not make a great fish net)
_4 _ One case of U.S. Army “C” rations (Better than nothing – you have to eat)
_13 _ Maps of the Pacific Ocean ( You likely don’t know where you are so a
map will only tell you where you aren’t)
_8 _ Seat Cushion (flotation device approved by the Coast Guard) (Useful for
saving people if they fall overboard)
_2 _ Two-gallon can of oil-gas mixture (Mixture will float on the water and
burn, good for signaling planes at night)
_15 _ Small transistor radio (Not a two-way radio, will not be able to get a
station that far out to sea)
_11 _ Shark repellent (Self explanatory)
_6 _ Twenty square feet of opaque plastic (Good for covering up and keeping
warm, also good for collecting water – condensation)
_10_ One quart of 160-proof Puerto Rican rum (Alcohol makes you dehydrated
– DO NOT DRINK – use for cleaning wounds, etc.)
_9 _ Fifteen feet of nylon rope (Rope is always good)
_5 _ Two boxes of chocolate bars (Good energy source if desperate)
_7 _ Fishing kit (The fish are likely quite deep but the contents are very
handy)

11. Active Listening
0 An important part of communication is actively
listening
0 It allows others to feel more comfortable about
opening up a revealing information
0 Five essential steps to actively listening
From:
http://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/Acti
veListening.htm

12. Active Listening
1. Pay Attention
2. Show that you are listening
3. Provide feedback
4. Defer judgment
5. Respond appropriately
From:
http://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/Acti
veListening.htm

13. Active Listening
In partners act out the following scenario
Pretend that you are a RA and a concerned resident. The
resident has come to the RA requesting a room change
because they do not get along with their roommate. The
roommate does not treat the resident with respect by
trashing the room and using their belongings without
asking. As a resident you are adamant that you are in need
of a room change.
Try it once, then switch roles and try it again.

14. Active Listening
Debrief Questions
0 What did you like about the exercise?
0 How did it feel to be the RA in this exercise?
0 How did it feel to be the concerned resident in this exercise?
0 As the resident, did you feel comfortable opening up to the RA
about what was happening in the room? Why or why not?
0 As the resident what were some positive things you noticed about
your RA partner? What were some things they could improve on?
0 What are some things that you felt came easy to you in terms of
active listening?
0 What are some areas of active listening that you feel are still a
challenge?
0 Do you think that you will utilize active listening in your daily life
as a RA? How?

16. “The Drama Cycle”
0 Hot tempers
0 Harassment
0 Miscommunication
0 Lack of Information
0 Insults
0 Rumors
0 Physical Abuse
0 Verbal Abuse
0 Cyber Abuse
…CONFLICT!
Source: The University of California Santa Cruz Peer Mentor Program

17. Conflict Resolution
Three Basic Styles
0 Avoidance
0 Confrontation
0 Problem-Solving
Guess which one is best!

18. Conflict Resolution
1. Choose an appropriate time and place
2. Identify the problem
3. Brainstorm solutions
4. Agree on a solution
5. Avoid compromise or win/lose situations
6. Always try for win/win situations
7. Respect the rights and values of others
8. Check back later to ensure the solution is working
Source: The University of California Santa Cruz Peer Mentor Program

19. What is Your Conflict
Management Style?
0 Questionnaire will be handed out
0 Students answer the questions and calculate their
score.
0 They will discover their Conflict Management Style:
0 The Competing Shark
0 The Avoiding Turtle
0 The Accommodating Teddy Bear
0 The Compromising Fox
0 The Collaborating Owl

20. Debrief Questions
Each student will go to the sign that corresponds to
their animal.
1. What are the strengths of this animal style?
2. What are the weaknesses of this animal style?
3. What make this animal different from others?
4. How will you take the traits of this animal and work
towards win-win problem solving and resolution?

23. How Comfortable am I?
Why:
• It is important to understand who you are communicating with.
• How your attitude towards that person affects your
communication.
The Exercise:
• Four point Likert scale gauging interpersonal biases
• Objectives: To create awareness about interpersonal biases and
to engage students in meaningful conversation about how to
identify and ameliorate biases
• Activity: Class discussion about individual results; studentguided conversation on salient statements

26. Communication Skills
0 Communication is an essential part of being a resident
assistant.
0 This test from mindtools.com will allow the resident
assistants to:
0 Explore communication style
0 Capability as a communicator
0 Understand areas of improvement for communication

27. Communication Skills
Communication Survey
Score Interpretation
56-75
Excellent! You understand your role as a communicator, both when you send messages, and when you receive
them. You anticipate problems, and you choose the right ways of communicating. People respect you for your
ability to communicate clearly, and they appreciate your listening skills. (Read below for more.)
36-55
You're a capable communicator, but you sometimes experience communication problems. Take the time to
think about your approach to communication, and focus on receiving messages effectively, as much as sending
them. This will help you improve. (Read below to start.)
15-35
You need to keep working on your communication skills. You are not expressing yourself clearly, and you may
not be receiving messages correctly either. The good news is that, by paying attention to communication, you
can be much more effective at work, and enjoy much better working relationships! The rest of this article will
direct you to some great tools for improving your communication skills. (Read below to start.)
From: http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newCS_99.htm

28. Communication Skills
From: http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newCS_99.htm

29. Communication Skills
Each question from the quiz is connected to a segment of The Communication Process Model.
0 Source- Planning your message (understanding message, audience, objective, how you will
send the message)
0 Questions 1,2,11
0 Encoding- Creating the message (understand what message to convey, anticipate
questions/reactions from audience, and choose language)
0 Questions 1,5,8,10,15
0 Channel- What channel to send it in (understand time constraints, best way of conveying
message email, phone, etc.)
0 Questions 7, 11, 13
0 Decoding- Understanding the message (avoid internal and external distractions, allow
source to convey the entire message before responding)
0 Questions 3, 6, 12, 14
0 Feedback- Receiving understanding from your message (agreement/disagreement,
interest, engagement)
0 Questions 3, 4, 9

30. Communication Skills
Possible Debrief Questions
0 Do you agree with the results of the assessment? Why or
why not?
0 Were you surprised by the results of your quiz?
0 Are you comfortable with all channels of communication?
0 Are you comfortable in all aspects of the communication
process? Are there one or multiple parts of the process
that you are more comfortable with?
0 Is there a best way to communicate?
0 Do you think you will have to change your communication
style based on your receiver? Why or why not?
0 What are some steps you can take to improve your
communication style?

32. Communicating with Students
0 Room Set-Up
0 Non-Verbals:
0 Eye Contact
0 Body Language
0 Listening
0 Verbals:
0 Asking Questions
0 Summarizing
0 Confronting

33. Setting the Scene: Room
Configuration
Objective: To motivate and educate RAs on constructing
a room conducive to developing positive working
relationships
0 How will an RA set up his/her room?
0 What do other students see/feel when they walk into
the room?
0 What does the room say about the RA?

34. Non-Verbals Say a Lot
0 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQHGsUdG68U
0 (I’m going to download the youtube video and embed
it within the Powerpoint before the presentation—the
video needs to be stored locally)

35. Non-Verbals: Eye Contact
Effective
0 Look at the resident
while they are talking
0 Maintain appropriate
eye contact
0 Watch for non-verbal
cues
Maybe-Not-So-Effective
0 Watching TV
0 Responding to texts or
browsing Facebook
0 Not maintaining eye
contact
Objective: To educate RAs on the importance of eye contact when speaking
with residents

36. Non-Verbals: Body Language
Effective
0 Sit or stand facing the
0
0
0
0
resident
Open body position
towards the resident
Unfolded legs and arms
Don’t fiddle with things
Appropriate facial
expressions
Maybe-Not-So-Effective
0 Turning your back on the
resident
0 Slouching, leaning back
0 Crossed arms and legs
Objective: To create awareness about the messages that body language
convey

37. Non-Verbals: Listening
Effective
0 Listening for tone
of voice and speech
rate
0 Listening to
understand
0 Listening for
silence
Maybe-Not-So-Effective
0 Missing affect,
attitude, and
emotions behind
the words
0 Having the TV or
music on in the
background
Objective: To provide RAs with a set of active listening tools

38. Verbals: Asking Questions
Effective
0 Asking open-ended
questions for
explanations
0 Asking closed-ended
questions for specific
details
0 Asking one question at
a time
Maybe-Not-SoEffective
0 Why questions may be
off-putting or
accusatory
Objective: To condition RAs to pursue effective, supportive lines of
questioning

39. Verbals: Summarizing
Effective
0 When the resident finishes
speaking, summarize their
words:
0 Indicates active
listening
0 Allows them to hear
their story from an
external source
0 Student reflects on their
words and corrects
missed details
Maybe-Not-SoEffective
0 Caustic or sarcastic
tone
0 Raised voice
0 Inserting emotion
Objective: To furnish RAs with an opportunity to practice summarizing and
paraphrasing the words of others

40. Verbals: Confronting
Effective
Maybe-Not-SoEffective
0 Addressing the resident
0 “Hey, um, so you wanna
when their words and
actions are
incongruous:
0 “So you say you’ve
had a good day, but
your hands are
shaking. What’s
going on?”
talk?”
0 “You told me yesterday
things were fine and
now they’re not. What’s
the deal?”
Objective: To challenge RAs to establish an effective and supportive toolkit
for confronting student crises

42. Communicating with your
Supervisor
Can you think of an example of something you might
have disclosed to a fellow staff member but not an RD?
Should that have been told to the RD?
What do you typically disclose with a supervisor versus
what you may not choose to disclose?

43. Do I Tell my Supervisor?
0 A fellow staff member
has a new girlfriend
0 An RA on another staff is
constantly complaining
about their supervisor
0 A fellow RA tweets
“ResLife is never helpful.
#boo”
0 You saw a picture on
Facebook of a resident
playing drinking game at
home
0 A resident who is a
friend of yours discloses
that they are depressed
but asks you not to talk
about it

44. Communicating with Your
Supervisor
0 Don’t let there be any surprises
0 Be honest and trustworthy
0 Understand your boss’ perspective and agenda
0 Understand your supervisor’s preferences
0 Understand yourself and express needs to supervisor
0 Try not to go over your boss’ head when unnecessary

45. Parents.
0 Be polite and friendly
0 Smile!
If there is an issue or question you don’t know the
answer to…
0 Redirect them to your supervisor or another
professional staff member
0 Never make any promises
0 Never lose your temper
0 Never try to handle problems yourself

46. Case Study
You are a new RA in a first year residence hall. It has been two
weeks since the beginning of the semester when you receive a phone
call from an unknown number. You shared your number with your
residents so you anticipate that it may belong to one of them so you
answer it. On the other end of the phone is an upset parent who was
given your phone number by their student. The parent is
demanding that their student be moved into a new room because
their current roommate is Catholic and has demonstrated their faith
in the room with crucifixes. the parent informs you that they are a
very strong Jewish family and do not believe in exposing their
children to Catholicism. They are very hostile and demand a room
switch immediately.
…what do you do?