This document provides guidance for teachers on engaging with parents and dealing with difficult parent situations. It discusses the importance of parent engagement, strategies for engaging parents like parent-teacher conferences and contacting parents about student issues. It also covers potential obstacles to parent contact, reasons parents may get angry like lack of communication, and tips for handling difficult parent interactions such as active listening, validating parents' perspectives, refocusing critical conversations on solutions, and avoiding triggers. The document emphasizes building positive relationships with parents through respect and collaboration.

1. Communicating with
and Engaging Parents

2. Goals
O Identify the importance of engagement
O Learn ways to engage parents
O Review strategies for parent-teacher
conferences
O Understand strategies for working with
difficult situations

3. Why engage parents?

4. High Impact Engagement

5. What are ways we can
engage parents?

7. Parent Contacts—
Self-Assessment
1.
2.
3.
4.
# of students with academic and behavioral
problems?____
How many parents have you talked to about
these issues?___
Any positive notes or phone calls home? y/n
How frequently do you input grades? How
much info do you provide?______

8. Obstacles to Parent Contact
Do you do any of the following?
1.
Apologize for calling a parent about a
problem with a child? Y/N
2.
Avoid talking to parents because you are
afraid they will criticize you? Y/N
3.
Wait until the problem deteriorates before
calling to inform the parent?
Y/N
4.
Avoid talking to the administration about
problems with parents or students? Y/N

9. Why do you think parents might
get angry in dealing with
teachers?
1.
2.
3.

10. O
O
O
O
O
O
O
O
O
O
Reasons parents may get
angry:
Failure to communicate
Lack of follow through
They don’t know any other way to act
They only have part of the story
Assumptions/stereotypes
Defensiveness
Breaking promises
Unwilling to apologize or admit mistakes
Discredit parents’ knowledge of child
Condescension, rudeness, intimidation,
dishonesty

11. Parenting Styles -Get to know the parents
O Enabling Parent:
Over-protective,
helicopters. Rescues
and protects child.
Results in child’s lack
of confidence. Child is
dependent on parent.
Parent will blame
others. They view
children as fragile.
O Authoritative
Parent:
Bossy, demanding,
explosive, hostile.
Parents tell child what
to do because they
can’t think for
themselves.
Restriction of
privileges. Adults
know what is best. No
questioning of parent.

12. Parenting Styles -Get to know the parents
O Absent Parent:
Missing, unattached.
Disinterested in
being involved. No
support, attention, or
love. Inconsistent
discipline. Parents
make excuses about
their own behavior.
O Rational Parent:
Assertive, nurturing,
respectful and
reasonable.
Intervene when
appropriate. Want
child to be
independent thinker.

13. Have you ever been under attack
by a parent? What did you do?
O Share examples.

14. When you are under attack.
1.
2.
3.
4.
Check your self-talk. Are your
thoughts making you angry?
If you made a mistake-admit it
and apologize.
Put yourself in the parents ’
shoes. How would you feel?
Affirm the parent ’s intent.
“You are trying the best you can.” “You
are trying to protect your child.”

15. Avoid triggers
O
O
O
O
O
O
O
O
O
O
O
O
O
Trouble
Worried
Angry
Fed up
Upset
Annoyed
Sick of problem
Don’t know what to do
But
Never
Always
Tired of
I have 27 other students to worry about

16. Use caring statements
O “Your child matters.”
O “Your child’s success is important.”
O “I care about your child’s success.”
O “Your child is important.”
O “How can we improve the situation for your
child?”

17. Disarm Criticism
O If criticism is justified, admit and
apologize.
O If criticism is not justified try the
following:
Listen without interrupting. Don’t be
defensive. Ask for more information.
Refocus the conversation back to the
original point.

18. Refocusing Technique
O “I hear you are upset about his behavior.
We need to talk about how we can work
together to help him.”
O “I see you’re frustrated because you feel
nothing works. I know that if we work
together it can be different.”
O “We are meeting today because we both
care about Mike’s progress.”

19. Express disagreement by sayingO “I’d like to offer another idea.”
O “Here’s another thought.”
O “Have you ever thought about this?”

20. Contact parents at the first sign of
a problem.
O A common complaint among parents is
that teachers wait too long before
contacting them about a problem.
Your own child test:
O How would you want your child’s teacher
to handle this?
For example, if your child forgot homework
one day would you want to be called? If
your child forgot his homework 3-4 days
in a row would you want to be called?

21. Phone call to parents.
Steps to take.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Start with a concern statement
Describe the behavior specifically
Tell what you have done
Ask for parent input
State what you would like the parent to
do
Close with confidence
Date for follow-up

22. Active Listening and
Validation
Active Listening
O “You are saying…”
O “You feel that because…”
O “Correct me if I am
wrong…”
Ask questions
O “Can you tell me more?”
O “Could you give me an
example?”
Get to the point
O “What do you want to see
happen?
Validation
O “I can see why you are
upset.”
O “I’m sorry you’re feeling
unsupported.”
Feelings—give it a name
O Terrified, panicked,
frustrated, anxious,
discouraged
Give options
O “Do you think it might be
possible to…?”
O “One thing I thought might
help is…”

23. Practice: Respond to the
following
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
“If the work was more interesting,
you’d be getting better results.”
“My son has a difficult time with
female teachers.”
“Perhaps if you can’t handle the class
you shouldn’t be a teacher.”
“When my child is at school he is your
responsibility.”
“My child feels like you are always
picking on him.”

24. Tips to take with you.
O Don’t make promises you can’t keep
O Apologize when you are wrong
O Tell the truth
O Be thorough and conscientious
O Attack the problem, never the person.
O Build people up whenever you can.