Giving thought in advance to how you will respond may help you to be prepared for any eventuality. Here are ten suggestions of things to consider as you, as a parent, confront the college acceptance – or rejection letters.

1. College Acceptance or
Rejection Letters
Ten Ways Parents Can Help Students Cope
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2. The wait is over…
The wait is over. The envelope may be fat, or
thin, or the news may have come via e-
mail. However it has arrived, your high school
student has received word from his chosen
colleges about whether he has been
accepted, waitlisted, or rejected. It is a
defining moment for most students.
Giving thought in advance to how you will
respond may help you to be prepared for any
eventuality. Here are ten suggestions of things
to consider as you, as a parent, confront the
college acceptance – or rejection letters.

3. College Acceptance or Rejection Letters – How Parents
Can Help Students Cope
1. Remember that this is your student’s process, not yours.
As parents, we often become so involved in the
college application process that it feels as though
the victory – or rejection – is ours. We can’t help
empathizing with our student, but we need to
maintain some distance. Take a breath. Step back.

4. College Acceptance or Rejection Letters – How Parents
Can Help Students Cope
2. Mute your reactions and follow your student’s lead.
Whatever you feel, try to subdue your reactions at
first. Let your student have the first moment –
whether she is elated or devastated. Validate
whatever she is feeling. Even an acceptance letter
may provoke a mixed reaction. It may not be from a
first-choice school. It may suddenly make the whole
process very real. Wait to see how your student
reacts and take your cue from her.

5. College Acceptance or Rejection Letters – How Parents
Can Help Students Cope
3. Celebrate every acceptance.
Even if this is an acceptance from a last-choice
college, it is an acknowledgement of your student’s
abilities and it is an accomplishment. Cheer for this
moment. Try not to let any moment feel second-
rate.
4. Stay calm and hold your tongue.
Don’t panic. There are always alternatives. Don’t
vent. This won’t help your student.

6. College Acceptance or Rejection Letters – How Parents
Can Help Students Cope
5. Be a sounding board and ask probing questions.
When your student is ready, be there to listen. He
may want to share his feelings – or he may not. She
may want to consider her options with you – or she
may need to deal with decisions on her own. Be
available if needed. Ask questions that will help him
consider options and factors to be considered. Give
him food for thought.

7. College Acceptance or Rejection Letters – How Parents
Can Help Students Cope
6. Try to be extra sensitive and take time.
Don’t try to talk to your student right away. Give her
time to process the information – good or
bad. Remember that your student may be feeling
particularly vulnerable right now. The college
application process is inextricably linked with many
students’ self esteem. Your student may feel very
exposed right now, and aware of the public nature
of this acceptance or rejection. He may now be
feeling the pressure to make a final decision.

8. College Acceptance or Rejection Letters – How Parents
Can Help Students Cope
7. Let your student decide how to share the news with
others.
This is her moment. Resist the temptation to spread
the word. Let her decide how and when she will tell
others what she has heard.

9. College Acceptance or Rejection Letters – How Parents
Can Help Students Cope
8. Recognize that you can’t shield your student from this
moment.
Although, as parents, we always want to make things
better for our children, your student must come to his
own terms with the news he receives. As difficult as
this time may be, this is one of many steps toward
independence and maturity that your child will face
in the coming years.

10. College Acceptance or Rejection Letters – How Parents
Can Help Students Cope
9. Help your student consider the next steps.
Should he attend an Accepted Student Day or other
college event to help make a decision? Will he
need to consider financial aid factors before
deciding? Does he need to revisit the campus to
consider the “chemistry” of the school once again?

11. College Acceptance or Rejection Letters – How Parents
Can Help Students Cope
10. Give the process time.
Once your student receives her acceptance – and
possibly rejection – letters, she will need to make
some decisions. The ball will be in her court once
again. She will need to put things in
perspective. She will need to deal with her
emotions. This may take some time. She will
eventually need to make choices and take action,
but she may not be ready immediately. Respect her
need for processing time.

12. You have questions, we have answers!
College Parents of America and get more tips and advice on:
What is my role as a college parent;
How should I communicate with my college student;
How to avoid becoming a helicopter parent; and Much More…
For more information, please contact us the following ways:
www.CollegeParents.org
888-761-6702