ALA Seminar
 Negotiating
Pink and Blue
       Victoria Pynchon, Esq.
She Negotiates Coaching and Training
        SheNegotiates.com
  She Negotiates at ForbesWoman
Every
negotiation is
an attempt to
     resolve a
      conflict
• see the big picture
• work through steps
• share experiences
• learn what both
  sides could gain      Bargaining
• focus on what both
  sides need            Advantages
• attempt to satisfy
  both parties needs
BARGAINING
DISADVANTAGES


   • Value relationship over money
   • Don’t like anchoring high
   • Afraid asking for too much will make
     bargaining partner withdraw
   • Work faster and longer for same
     benefit
   • Don’t recognize the opportunity to
     negotiate
• feel advantage
• feel entitled              Bargaining
                             Advantages
• less likely to back down
• view negotiation from
  more self-serving
  perspective
• stronger speakers
• seek more power
• intimidate
Bargaining
Disadvantages

                • Little inquiry into partner’s
                  needs/desires
                • Tends to move quickly
                  toward threat
                • Won’t share information
                • Doesn’t believe win-win
                  possible or desirable
Perceived Relative
   Deprivation

        +
Injurious Event

      =
Naming, Blaming
 and Claiming
• $250 million antitrust
  lawsuit
• Lose 3 associates
• originating partner knows
  nothing
• client hires new trial team
• Several colleagues know I’m
  looking
• Business manager
  – “I’m concerned for you”
  – “Absent favorable
    recommendation, no move”
STAKEHOLDERS
NEW
COUNSEL

                                ME
                                SENIOR

            me   YOU
                       CLIENT   PARTNER
What
conflict?
NEW       If you complain,
COUNSEL
          you won’t have
          this client’s
          business ever      me
          again
WHAT DOES EVERYONE WANT?


NEW
COUNSEL


          CLIENT   me   SENIOR
                        PARTNER
Getting Them to Do What They
       Don’t Want to Do
INGRATIATION
PROMISES
THREATS
SHAMING
GAMESMANSHIP
PHYSICAL VIOLENCE
Mutual Benefit Negotiation


NEW
COUNSEL             ME
          SENIOR
          PARTNER
                         CLIENT
Ask Diagnostic Questions

               •   Who
               •   What
               •   When
               •   Where
               •   Why
               •   How
Identify Interests
Reason Giving

       • 98% compliance
       • 97% compliance
       • 60% compliance
PUT AS MANY OPTIONS
ON THE TABLE AS POSSIBLE
MAKE CONCESSIONS
DEMAND RECIPROCITY
LOG ROLL
Negotiating
  from a
Position of
 Weakness
Behind every
accusation is a
  cry for help
• Value your piece of the
                                 puzzle
                               • View yourself as powerful &
                                 an influence for good
                                 – Power of
                                   personality/presence
                                 – Power of expertise
                               • Deepen relationships
                               • Set agenda & deliver the
                                 goods
Gloria Feldt, former PP CEO,
   No Excuses - Nine Ways        – Lead staff rather than
Women Can Change the Way           follow “boss”
   We Think about Power          – Empower yourself & take
                                   action
Are they liars, cheats and
  thieves or do they have
  hidden interests.
   – Personal (unrelated to
      you or deal)
   – Relational (related to you
      but not to deal, i.e.,
      “face”)
   – Political, social, cultural
• Are they difficult or simply
  uninformed
   – Educate them about their true
     interests, consequences of their
     actions, our BATNA
   – Help them understand what is in
     their best interest
   – Determine whether they’ve
     misunderstood or ignored a crucial
     piece of information
Are they irrational or are
  they operating under
  hidden constraints
   – Institutional
   – Precedential
   – Promises to others
       • Hidden
         stakeholders
   – Deadlines
Close!

ALA Presentation Negotiating Beyond Gender

  • 1.
    ALA Seminar Negotiating Pinkand Blue Victoria Pynchon, Esq. She Negotiates Coaching and Training SheNegotiates.com She Negotiates at ForbesWoman
  • 2.
    Every negotiation is an attemptto resolve a conflict
  • 3.
    • see thebig picture • work through steps • share experiences • learn what both sides could gain Bargaining • focus on what both sides need Advantages • attempt to satisfy both parties needs
  • 4.
    BARGAINING DISADVANTAGES • Value relationship over money • Don’t like anchoring high • Afraid asking for too much will make bargaining partner withdraw • Work faster and longer for same benefit • Don’t recognize the opportunity to negotiate
  • 5.
    • feel advantage •feel entitled Bargaining Advantages • less likely to back down • view negotiation from more self-serving perspective • stronger speakers • seek more power • intimidate
  • 6.
    Bargaining Disadvantages • Little inquiry into partner’s needs/desires • Tends to move quickly toward threat • Won’t share information • Doesn’t believe win-win possible or desirable
  • 7.
    Perceived Relative Deprivation + Injurious Event = Naming, Blaming and Claiming
  • 8.
    • $250 millionantitrust lawsuit • Lose 3 associates • originating partner knows nothing • client hires new trial team • Several colleagues know I’m looking • Business manager – “I’m concerned for you” – “Absent favorable recommendation, no move”
  • 9.
    STAKEHOLDERS NEW COUNSEL ME SENIOR me YOU CLIENT PARTNER
  • 10.
  • 11.
    NEW If you complain, COUNSEL you won’t have this client’s business ever me again
  • 12.
    WHAT DOES EVERYONEWANT? NEW COUNSEL CLIENT me SENIOR PARTNER
  • 13.
    Getting Them toDo What They Don’t Want to Do
  • 15.
  • 16.
  • 17.
  • 18.
  • 19.
  • 20.
  • 21.
    Mutual Benefit Negotiation NEW COUNSEL ME SENIOR PARTNER CLIENT
  • 22.
    Ask Diagnostic Questions • Who • What • When • Where • Why • How
  • 23.
  • 25.
    Reason Giving • 98% compliance • 97% compliance • 60% compliance
  • 26.
    PUT AS MANYOPTIONS ON THE TABLE AS POSSIBLE
  • 27.
  • 28.
  • 29.
    Negotiating froma Position of Weakness
  • 30.
  • 31.
    • Value yourpiece of the puzzle • View yourself as powerful & an influence for good – Power of personality/presence – Power of expertise • Deepen relationships • Set agenda & deliver the goods Gloria Feldt, former PP CEO, No Excuses - Nine Ways – Lead staff rather than Women Can Change the Way follow “boss” We Think about Power – Empower yourself & take action
  • 32.
    Are they liars,cheats and thieves or do they have hidden interests. – Personal (unrelated to you or deal) – Relational (related to you but not to deal, i.e., “face”) – Political, social, cultural
  • 33.
    • Are theydifficult or simply uninformed – Educate them about their true interests, consequences of their actions, our BATNA – Help them understand what is in their best interest – Determine whether they’ve misunderstood or ignored a crucial piece of information
  • 34.
    Are they irrationalor are they operating under hidden constraints – Institutional – Precedential – Promises to others • Hidden stakeholders – Deadlines
  • 35.

Editor's Notes