It's a therapeutic value based process map, or a guideline that helps an addict personality to quit the addiction and stay sober.

1. THE 12 STEPS OF ALCOHOLICS
ANONYMOUS

2. What Are the 12 Steps and What’s Their Purpose?
The 12 Steps of the AA program provides tools for getting and staying sober. Admitting one’s addiction is Step 1. The
rest of the steps provide tools of sobriety. Addicts generally spend years (and years and years) regarding alcohol as the
solution to their problems. Recognizing that this solution has turned into one’s biggest, deadliest problem requires a
wholesale shift in attitude. Learning to live sober is infinitely harder. That’s what the Steps are designed teach.
The 12-Step program is a mechanism to stay sober, to keep relapse triggers at bay instead of turning to chemicals to
cope with negative emotions. Some of the Steps are expressly concerned with the spirituality at the heart of the
program: Step 2 and Step 3 call for a spiritual solution to addiction: that God (or the individual’s concept of a “Higher
Power” — a source of strength one didn’t think one had that can be relied on for care and comfort) can restore addicts
to sanity if they make a decision to turn their lives over to Him. In Steps 6 & 7 members of the program ask their
Higher Power to remove their character defects. Steps 10 and 11 call for prayer and meditation to deepen ones
conscious contact with one’s Higher Power (Many people have problems with this concept. I sure did! What About “the
God Thing? “Doubt a Spiritual Solution Works?

3. Other steps, though grounded in spirituality, don’t specifically refer to God or a Higher Power: The program prescribes
sharing a rigorous, ruthless, moral inventory (Step 4) and an informal confessional (Step 5). It commands that
responsibility be taken and amends be made (Steps 8 and 9) to short-circuit jumping from regret, anger, guilt and
shame to seeking relief in a first drink . The program prescribes continuing daily ethical inventories and action to atone
for transgressions, so resentments can’t build up and fester. It provides a constructive way to deal with the “screw you”
impulse to people, places and things which can lead to using. Finally, Step 12 calls for helping others, “carrying the
message” to alcoholics and addicts who still suffer.
All these tools teach you how to distinguish rational impulses from the irrational belief that drugs (alcohol) are the
solution so as to stop yourself from acting on the irrational ones by picking up a drink.
The optimal way to learn about the 12-Steps is by attending meetings regularly, reading recovery literature,
and working through the Steps with a sponsor.
Ultimately, the 12-Steps are more than just a way to stay sober. They’re a blueprint for living life as a whole human
being. They consist of universal spiritual principles: tell the truth; treat others as you’d want to be treated; monitor your
inevitable failures, apologize for them and make things right if you can do so without hurting others. In other words,
the Steps provide tools for living a full, satisfying, meaningful life.

4. Step 1: "We admitted we were powerless over
alcohol—that our lives had become
unmanageable.“
Honesty
After many years of denial, recovery can begin for alcoholics and their families with
the simple admission of being powerless over alcohol. This is the first step of the 12
step programs of Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon programs.

5. When alcoholism begins to take control of a family, usually one of the first things to go is honesty. The alcoholic
lies about how much he or she drinks, and those around him begin to cover for him as the problem progresses
and they too become less than honest.
This cycle of lies and keeping secrets can go on for years and that in itself can create an atmosphere that actually
causes the situation to deteriorate faster. Even the children get caught up in the lies. It's a family disease.
The family can become totally controlled by diseased thinking. Although the illusion of control may continue,
their lives become unmanageable, because alcohol is really in control. It is cunning, baffling, and powerful.
But recovery for the entire family can begin when someone finally breaks the cycle of denial. That first step
begins with admitting powerlessness. Finally being honest about the situation. How does that work?
Many times when one member of the family finally gets to the point where they admit they are powerless over
alcohol—be it the drinker or a non-drinking member of the family—and begins a journey of recovery, it can
have a ripple effect and influence others to find their own recovery

6. How Do We Get to Step 1?
Members of Alcoholics Anonymous or Al-Anon Family Groups present some great insight into the healing
principles of the 12 steps. Many have said that taking that first step is one of the most difficult things to do.
Some people go to their first meeting after a rude awakening. A friend or family member may confront you about
your drinking. You may have a medical crisis or get stopped for a DUI. You decide it, you have to take action
and go to a meeting.
If you are living with a loved one's drinking, it can be difficult to admit you are powerless and unable to keep cleaning
up the mess and being the responsible one. You may continue to make things work and, therefore, be part of the
sickness. Only after admitting you are powerless can you begin to make changes in yourself. You have to give up the
illusion of power.
From step one, you can continue to the rest of the 12 steps and 12 traditions.

7. Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than
ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Many members of Alcoholics Anonymous or Al-Anon Family Groups come into the
program with a strong faith in God, and with the encouragement of other members of
the fellowship soon learn to apply that faith to the situations in their lives created by
alcoholism.
With the wisdom provided by the program, the friendship and support of other
members, the healing process begins with the help of a loving God, as they understand
him.

8. Agnostics, Atheists, and Step 2
Others who are introduced to the 12-step programs may be agnostic or atheist who reject the concept of a deity (God
Like). Many are turned off by even the mention of the word "God" and some bristle at even hints of anything spiritual.
But, as it says in the book, "Alcoholics Anonymous," in the chapter entitled “We Agnostics”,…..we beg you to lay aside
prejudice..." and give the program a chance.
The 12-step programs are spiritual, not religious. There is no mention of religious beliefs, doctrine, or dogma in the
meetings or in the approved literature. Members are not required to accept someone else's concept of God, only to
trust that there is a power "greater than themselves“, however they wish to describe it or understand it.
It seems to be a spiritual truth, that before a higher power can begin to operate, one must first believe that it can.
You have to believe it, to receive it. Millions of program members through the years, who finally "came to believe"
have found themselves amazed to find that power at work in their lives in seemingly miraculous ways.

9. The Faithful and Step 2
For those who are strong in their religious faith, Step 2 can also present a challenge. If you have a
conviction as to the nature of God, it can be disconcerting to hear "higher power" being used rather than
"God." You may have difficulty in accepting the nature of that higher power for other members of the
group. Hearing that it's okay to use a doorknob for a higher power if that's how you understand it, can be
hard to accept. You may even find it offensive.
However, to give a 12-step program a chance, you need to restrain that reaction and not let it block using
the 12-step process. Religious prejudice can get in the way.

10. Experiences of Step 2
Members of various 12-step groups have shared their experience, strength, and hope on each of the steps. Here are
some of their stories.
• Carol tells of how she was raised in a family who was active in their church. When she attempted sobriety, she returned to her
church. "Slowly, I found that the God in my religion has a special face he shows only to drunks. And I found Him in the rooms of
Alcoholics Anonymous. He is there, waiting for us to ask for his help. Faith is the foundation of my AA life.“
• Sox was prompted to attend a meeting by reading the "This is AA" pamphlet. "I called one of the major clubs in my area and went
to a meeting that night. But it was obvious to me that I had turned to God first, and then took Step 1. I knew that my life was
insane and I knew there was a power greater than myself, but until that moment, I had always resented God for butting in where
He wasn't wanted. Now I wanted Him, and sure enough, He led me to where I needed to be.“
• Buddy, an Al-Anon member, says, "At my first meeting, after reading some of the literature, I made the comment that I had a
problem with the 'higher power' references. After that meeting, a long-time member came up to me and said. 'I'm not saying to
forget your religious beliefs, but just put them on hold for a while and give Al-Anon a chance.' There was great wisdom what she
told me. And if he/she had not taken the time to tell me that, I probably would have never come back and it would have been me
who missed out on so much that God had in store for me. All the wisdom, help, friendship, encouragement, and spiritual growth
that I have found in Al-Anon, I would have missed because of my own religious prejudices. So, my suggestion to newcomers is the
same that I received: put your religious beliefs, or unbelief on hold and give the whole program a chance. Because Al-Anon is not a
religious program, but a spiritual one."

11. The twelve steps of the Alcoholics Anonymous recovery program is the spiritual
foundation for personal recovery, used not only by alcoholics but by their friends and
family in Al-Anon and Alateen programs.
People who have embraced the twelve step manifesto have found that it not only
provides them the means to stop drinking but offers them a structural framework by
which to live a productive and fulfilling life.

12. Step 3: Made a decision too turn our will and our
lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him
Of the twelve steps, Step Three, can be best referred to as the process of surrender. It asserts that a lifetime of recovery
can only be achieved by making the decision to turn over your will to a higher being.
While AA describes its program as non-religious, it is strongly based on the belief of a higher power, which they
colloquially (language used in ordinary or familiar conversation) referred to as God. This doesn't necessarily mean a
Christian God but rather any higher spiritual being in whom a person can place his or her faith.
While AA represents around three-quarters of all drug and alcohol recovery programs, the very concept of God, used
commonly in the text, can make some people uncomfortable. While AA clearly welcomes persons of all religious
beliefs and denominations, the vernacular (dialect spoken by ordinary people in their country) and references are
firmly based on Judeo-Christian traditions wherein the spiritual being is masculine ("Him") and the term "prayer"
suggests an intimate connection to the higher power.

13. Members of AA and other twelve step programs strive to find a new path by embracing spirituality and admitting they
alone cannot control their addiction. Although the journey starts when a person walks into his or her first meeting, the
real recovery begins when the decision is made to "let go" and allow a greater power to take over.
It may be a difficult thing to do, especially in a culture where people are taught that they are the masters of their own
destiny, but many find comfort and relief when they sincerely take to step three. By working within a fellowship, rather
than on one's own, step three allows a person to embrace faith as a means to achieve the impossible.
Ultimately, without faith, no one—not an alcoholic or any person stuck in an unhappy situation—can take this leap.
Actively believing and embracing a higher power is both an act of surrender and courage.
Upon achieving step one (the admission of powerlessness) and step two (agreeing that there is, in fact, a higher
power), Step Three goes beyond words to actions. It opens the door to the rest of the steps and allows a person to
begin the process of self-reflection (step four) and admitting the nature of one's wrongdoings (step five).
There is a saying in the 12-step programs that recovery is a process, not an event. The same can be said for Step 4 --
more will surely be revealed.

14. Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral
inventory of ourselves.
Whether we come through the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous or Al-Anon Family Groups chances are we bring a
lifetime of "stinking thinking" with us. Frankly, it takes awhile for the "fog" to begin to lift, so that we begin to see
ourselves and the world around us more clearly.
If we have sincerely completed the first three steps and have truly made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to
the care of God as we understood Him, then it is time to put that principle into action. We must find the courage to
take a fearless look at ourselves and become willing clean up the garbage we find.
In order to proceed, we must identify the problems and get a clear picture of how our behavior effected ourselves and
others around us. That picture is not always in focus for newcomers early in recovery, but as we continue to hang
around the rooms, listening and learning from others, and keeping an open mind, we find more layers of the "onion"
being peeled away.
No Graduating Services : We are not perfect, and never will be in this life. That is the reason there are no graduation
services held at 12-step meetings! But if we continue to participate, carrying the message to others, and listening to
what they have to share, we can continue to grow and make spiritual progress. That's why they say, "Keep Coming
Back!"

15. Tools to Help With Self Inventory
There are tools available to help in the 4th step process. There is a 4th Step Guide available online for all 12-step
members. The online 4th Step Guide includes an exhaustive set of directions explaining how the guide works and a
reminder that an inventory is simply a list: "Please keep in mind that the Fourth Step is not dealing with changing
anything. An inventory doesn't change things, it simply lists things. Your inventory is only a story of your feelings and
acts from the beginning until now."
The online guide then provides questions and suggestions to help with an inventory from childhood, adolescence and
adulthood, with a final conclusion section for "here and now.“ The online 4th Step Guide is of course just a suggested
guide which is intended to be helpful to those doing an inventory. It is not intended to be shared with anyone, it is for
"your eyes only," according to the directions.
Daily Inventory
I was told by my Sponsor that all I had to do was work the first step to it's fullest, keep attending meetings, do what I
was told, and the rest will come in time. By me doing this I was in some manner working on taking the 12 steps, and it
was well over a year before I ever missed a meeting.
There finally came a time when I realized that I better get going on the 12 steps, by me attending so many meetings I
knew who I wanted to help me with the steps. This very good friend of mine chaired a lot of 12 step meetings,
(classes) which I started to attend. I went along just fine until I came upon the 4th step and I hit a wall.

16. I felt real bad about so many things that I had done in my life, that it seemed impossible to get all of this inventory
down right. Finally, one day I was sharing this with my sponsor and he smiled and asked me where I was going. He told
me to do the best that I can at this time and I will have plenty of time to do the rest. He told me not to be beating up
on myself, (keep it simple) and this is just what I did.
It made it a lot easier and through time I was able to see better of how to take my moral inventory. Once we take these
steps it doesn't mean that we are done, nor does it mean that we have to always do the 12 steps in order. I have to take
a moral inventory of myself everyday of my life. Remember to write down all the good things as well as the not so
good. When we are doing our 4th step we tend to be hard on ourselves.
Being Honest
Here I am still on step 4. Been here for weeks and weeks it will take to complete. The only thing I can say that has
really helped was obtaining the questions to the step on the internet. There must be 100 questions there and I am
still in the childhood part. It is a very hard thing for me to do but I must do this. Being older I asked the questions,
why dear God? Why go back to the past, the painful past. The past is gone, today is here tomorrow is, my hope.
Looking in the past has made me understand now more than ever things happened the way they did. This step is hard
-- this step can be painful -- but I only ask that you do it. One hour a day is not that much time and write out the
answers and be honest with yourself and remember God is with you if that pain goes right into your heart. And also
remember we are all here for each other.

17. A Journey
Step 4 starts out as a very scary thing. "Moral" inventory? I struggled with questions of morality for most of my life.
Was even close to our moral boundaries. So when I was told that eventually I would take a searching and fearless
moral inventory, I was quite reluctant.
Now to get through Step 4. My sponsor had asked me to do several things as a precursor to Step 4. First, I had to list
ten physical attributes about myself that I liked. Then I had to list ten personality traits about myself that I liked.
Another list was at least ten people that loved me. I had to read these lists every morning and every night for two
weeks.
My sponsor continued: Take a sheet of legal paper. Draw a line down the center, and then put a mark in the middle of
the line. This was my life line, the center was the middle of my life,). He told me to start making marks on the line
denoting major events in my life.
Once I had done all this, I was ready for Step 4. My sponsor flipped me Hazelden guides, but I couldn't do it that way.
Then I attended a meeting one Friday night. A woman stormed in, angry at some event that had just occurred, and
made her comment, which included this: "If you are working a 4th step, the best way to do it is the way the Big Book
explains it." Now why this stuck with me I don't know, but I decided to try it. And I found that yes indeed, this was the
best way for me. Heard many people in meeting say that’s the way they done the 4th step.

18. So I embarked on my 4th step journey. I wrote and I wrote and I wrote. I made lots of progress, but one day I just
couldn't write any more. I knew I wasn't finished, but for some reason I had reached a brick wall and couldn't go on. I
talked about it in meetings. I talked to my sponsor, but he couldn't help me.
Then a friend in the program invited me to an ACOA meeting. I went to that meeting, and after only 10 minutes the
brick wall had fallen down. I resumed writing my 4th step and completed it in just another week. ACOA had opened
my eyes about many things that I had suppressed. With my 4th step completed, I was ready (or so I thought) for Step
5.
Whether you're working the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Narcotics Anonymous (NA), Al-Anon, or any
other program, the most difficult of all the steps is probably Step 5. This is the one that asks us to admit "our wrongs"
and to do so in front of our higher power and another person.
Admittedly, it's hard to find someone who was not nervous about Step 5 and some people put it off as long as
possible. However, this is also one of the most fulfilling steps along the road to recovery because it allows us to let go
of the past.
In Step 3 we surrendered to our higher power — our personal understanding of God — and Step 4 had us take a
detailed inventory of our behavior. The next logical step is to voice all of those things we did while drinking or using.
That leads us to Step 5.

19. Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another
human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
What an order! Admitting wrongs to God and to ourselves is one thing. To actually tell someone else the exact nature
of our wrongs can be a frightening task indeed. After years of "keeping secrets" and hiding faults and shortcomings,
openly admitting them — and out loud to another human being — is a drastic turnaround.
What's the Purpose of Step 5?
Just as the 12 Steps themselves are in a specific order for a reason, the process outlined in Step 5 is likewise. There is a
reason that the first admission of wrongs is to God as we understand him. It prepares members for the rest of the
steps.
No, admitting to God the nature of our wrongs is not informing Him of anything that He doesn't already know. But by
having that conversation with a personal higher power in a spirit of prayer, the things that need to be changed are
revealed.

20. The exact nature of our wrongs has been discovered along with the ways that they need to be changed.
Once you have had the integrity to become honest with God, then becoming honest with yourself and another human
being becomes much easier. Perhaps more than any other step in the process, Step 5 provides the chance to begin
"growing up" spiritually. It gives the opportunity to unload the burdens of the past and be done with them.
Eliminating Pride and Overcoming Fear
The purpose of Step 5 is not to feel shamed in the eyes of your sponsor or whoever listens to you during it. Instead, it
is a time to get rid of the old garbage and the dark secrets we've been holding inside. Quite often, it was these things
that kept us drinking or using.
When preparing for Step 5, many people describe a fear. It really can be a gut-wrenching process. Our pride wants us
to feel like we're doing good and moving on from all that destructive behavior. Step 4 forces us to look back at all of
that and Step 5 brings it out into the open, revealing everything.
There's also the fear that your listener will think less of you. However, you have to keep in mind that they've been right
there, too. Who knows, they may have done worse things during their drinking and using days, but that doesn't matter.
In Step 5, the focus is you and what you've done.

21. If you have thoroughly taken your inventory in Step 4, then this is just an airing of those problems. Some people —
quite a few, in fact — find that they need to step back and do a more thorough inventory and take Step 5 again.
Don't worry, the second time is actually easier, especially if you're being completely honest this time. Honesty is not
something alcoholics and addicts are entirely used to, so giving it a second go is common.
The Freedom Step 5 Gives Us
Many alcoholics and addicts feel a great freedom after doing Step 5. It's a relief to get all that baggage you've been
lugging around out in the open. This is a chance to clear the air internally and there's a great relief when you finally
vocalize everything.
Step 5 is also an opportunity to get to the root cause of your addiction. While it's easy to give it titles like envy,
jealousy, anger, or whatever, many people find that it's really fear. It may be different for you, of course, but the point is
that this step and Step 4 give you the insight to discover exactly what that is.
Rather than looking at Step 5 as a fearful experience, think about how clear your conscience will be once it's done.
Many people call it "freedom" and say they experience a peace and calm they haven't felt in years.
This truly is one of the key steps in recovery, which is why it's the hardest. Yet, it's often seen as the beginning of an
entirely new life.

22. Step 6: "Were entirely ready to have God remove all
these defects of character."
The key to Step 6 is acceptance—accepting character defects exactly as they are and the willingness to let them go.
After identifying shortcomings and admitting to them by working Steps 4 and 5, the next step forces members of 12-
step recovery groups to ask themselves if they are really willing to give up some of those faults. After all, some of them
have been around so long, they are like old friends. They have been comfortable.
But if the previous steps have been done thoroughly and honestly, many times facing the truth can bring a measure of
guilt, which is a great motivation to become "entirely ready" to have those shortcomings removed. As with all the
steps, the ability to become ready comes from a higher power, a power greater than yourself.

23. How Step 6 Relates to Alcoholism
The idea behind this phase of 12-step recovery—steps 4 through 7—is to address some of the personal issues,
shortcomings and character defects that may have been a factor in your decision to begin drinking in the first place.
If you simply stop drinking and do not address some of these other issues, they could cause you to get into situations
that may cause you to relapse. For example, if the way you express anger or the way you handle rejection is a problem
for others around you, you could end up ruining a relationship and that could cause you to pick up a drink again.
Furthermore, if you quit drinking "only" and you don't address your other issues, you could end up what some call a
"dry drunk," and end up bitter and resentful. In which case, you may be sober, but very unhappy.
Easy to Repeat Old Behaviors - There is a saying around the 12-step rooms that you can get a horse thief sober, but
you still have a horse thief. Or another one, "you can take the rum out of the fruitcake, but you still have a fruitcake."
What that means is, if all you do is stop drinking and you don't change some of your other behaviors, then it will be
easier to slip back into your old habits, including going to the bar to drown your sorrows.

24. That is why Steps 4 through 7 are in the middle of the 12 steps. If you don't admit you have shortcomings and take
steps to address those issues, then a spiritual awakening may never come. It's all about being honest with yourself and
those around you.
Identifying your shortcomings and admitting them is not the end of the process. Becoming "entirely ready" to do
something about them is a key to the solution.
Getting Humble - Working step 6 is simply working the first five steps, and then getting humble. This is not easy for
many alcoholics. Working the first five steps seems grueling at first, but they manage to do it. Then the "humble" part
steps in.
How do you get humble? If the messages of the first five steps sink in, you find humility. If the message somehow
escaped you, go back and work them again, find out what you did wrong, and then try this step again.
Some AA members relate how they often had hurt friends, family, and employers, but rationalized their behavior and
blamed the one who was injured. In working the steps and accepting responsibility for the consequences of their
actions and omissions they felt shame and remorse. They turned to their higher power in prayer in deep humility to
remove their defects. Then they could take the road to redemption by making amends.

25. Step 7: Humbly asked Him to remove our
shortcomings
The spiritual focus of Step 7 is humility, asking a higher power to do something that
cannot be done by self-will or mere determination. Making a list of those harmed before
coming into recovery may sound simple. It's becoming willing to actually make those
amends is the difficult part.

26. Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed,
and became willing to make amends to them all.
For the Alcoholics Anonymous member, the list usually begins with friends and family that have harmed by a long and
tumultuous drinking career. But as recovery continues - and the fog begins to lift - many others are usually added to
the list as the process continues.
Many Al-Anon members, however, are sometimes surprised to learn that the first person on their list is the alcoholic!
As they begin to put the focus on themselves in the Al-Anon program and do their own inventory, many discover they
owe amends to the alcoholic in their lives if for no other reason, blaming him/her for all the family's problems.
Like taking most of the 12 steps, this one is not necessarily a one-time event. It is a process that continues to unfold as
more is revealed.

27. Making the list is one thing. Become willing to actually make amends to those harmed is another. It can be a very
humbling, but growing experience, to actually admit wrong-doing, especially to the person harmed. But the process
can relieve those trying to recover from so much guilt! Here are the experiences of some who have worked the 12
steps:
Step 8: Becoming Willing - Step 8 is simply a "list" of people we have harmed. I was told that if I had done my 4th step
inventory, that much of this list had been covered. The second part of the 8th step is to become "willing" to make the
amends necessary. I didn't actually have to "do" anything in the way of amends just yet. This perspective relieved a little
of the fear I had regarding making the list. I was advised to ask my higher power to guide me through this step as I
had all the others.
My sponsor asked me to look at my behavior whether drinking or not. Was I kind, tolerant and considerate of others,
or was I mean spirited, impatient and selfish? What were my motives when dealing with family members, friends, co-
workers etc. Was I hell-bent on getting only what I wanted and not concerned with what was "right"? Oh, and let's not
forget the self-pity that I poured out on those from whom I was sure to extract sympathy.
Upon looking at the 8th step in this light, the list grew by leaps and bounds. I now not only had a list of those whom I
had resentments but a list that included those I may have given resentments and caused harm. Promises made but
not kept. Telling that "homeless" (surely lazy, drug-addicted alcoholic) to "GET A JOB"! There is no way of knowing
exactly how many people I hurt through my insensitivity.

28. Some of these amends would be direct. Humbling, but not impossible. Others through changing my attitude and
behavior by not perpetrating the old sick self-serving behavior on friends, family, or strangers.
If we work this step to the best of our ability, the promise of living a life free of isolation from my fellow man and God
will come to be. Our sobriety is "the" priority! we must be willing to go to any length to get it. So far it's working, so I
think I'll just keep coming back!
Step 8: Step toward Maturity - Making a list of the persons I have harmed is difficult because I would have to admit to
being wrong. It's hard for me to be wrong because I have had to work miracles, endure all things and pull things
together for so long. Making a list will help me to examine my behavior and take away the excuses. Just as I have
maybe been able to point out all the inappropriate behaviors of others, I have to face my own. That's a great step
toward maturity.
Step 8: Letting Go of Hurts - Step 8 forms the base for all future relationships. If we can let go of our previous hurts to
others, we can begin a new facet of sobriety. As in the 4th step, the relief is enormous. We need to address omissions
as well as the obvious. For me, that was the most difficult part.

29. Who Did I Harm? - Who did I harm? Well, step 4 gave me guidelines as to who and how, and why, and I began step 4
with specific individuals who I directly harmed as a consequence of my drinking. Then as I progressed in this program,
I re-read step 8 and discovered it said: "all people we had harmed". That meant people I had harmed both during and
prior to my drinking and drugging. Then, as I progressed further, and discovered that laws of physics apply to human
emotion too, I realized that I had harmed many more than I believed at first.
Consider the doorman who I shouted at for his insufferable incompetence. He took my rebuke to heart, took it home
with him, yelled at his wife and kids, perhaps yelled at the train conductor. Consider the newsboy who broke my
window, and who I gave a dressing down: Perhaps he dropped out of school, or just gave up on self-esteem.
Everywhere I went, whatever I did or said, any action has an equivalent reaction.
Suddenly my 8th step list got a lot longer. As it turned out, I had a high profile job for 12 years that caused me to
interact with over 2,000,000 people. How many of them did I harm? How many did they harm after crossing my path?
It became painfully obvious that I would never make amends to them all. I could make direct amends to those I directly
harmed, but what about the nameless, faceless minions that were out there, and never knew they suffered because of
me?

30. You know what? The answer was already in the steps. This program is about becoming a better person, and improving
one's life. It is about living life in an unselfish and compassionate way. It is about giving in order to receive. It is about
taking more interest in our fellows. And by practicing these principles in all my affairs, I think I turned out to be a
better person than I once was.
So all those numbers, all the poor people that I tread upon, all the people that reciprocated my actions towards
others, and those others, well, it is my sincere hope that you now need not worry about suffering because of me. And
maybe, just maybe, my continued sobriety makes the world a wee bit better place for you to live.
Step 8: Moving Forward - Next to finding a higher power, of which I try and honestly commit to daily, I find this step
difficult. Most of my life has been spent with a negative attitude and probably have harmed many along the way with
this nature. The only thing I can do now is, not look to the past, but move forward and live by my newfound example
of a trying positive attitude, look at the negative and try and find something good in what I have always found bad. It
seems to be slowly working for me. I am lucky to have the full support of my family, who are positive people.
Making amends may seem like a bitter pill to swallow, but for those serious about recovery it can be good medicine
for the spirit and the soul.

31. Step 9: Made direct amends to such people
wherever possible, except when to do so would
injure them or others.
Step 9 is another one of the 12 steps, that initially appears most difficult, but the rewards of putting this principle into
practice can be immense. The spiritual principle involved is that of forgiveness, not only from others but forgiveness of
self, which can bring healing to both parties.
After completing Step 8 – made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all –
the next logical step is to make those amends if possible, and the suggestion is to do so directly to those who have
been harmed. By making direct amends to the person harmed the temptation to skirt the issue because of
embarrassment or pain is avoided.

32. Simple But Not Easy! - But those making the amends find many times that the person to whom they have harmed is
more than willing to accept those amends happily – and a healing process begins not only in the relationship but in
each individual. This is not always the case, however. Sometimes the injured party is not willing to forgive and forget.
Regardless, spiritual progress for those in recovery depends on upon doing their part right and making direct amends.
This step does carry a condition -- except when to do so would injure them or others. If the act of making amends will
open old wounds or create new harm, then making direct amends should be avoided. The benefit of making amends
to the recovering person does not outweigh the need to do no more harm.
What Does Making Amends Have to Do With Sobriety? - If your goal is to remain sober, then it's important to take this
step to make amends when possible, because if you fail to do so, it could come back to cause you problems later. If
you know that you caused harm to others during your drinking days or you borrowed money and never paid it back,
and you don't try to set the situation right, then there is a very good chance the issue will arise again and when it does
it could be a trigger for a relapse.
On the other hand, if you deal with the situation from the past, then there is no way for it to come back and bite you
later. You have dealt with it properly, you've kept your side of the street clean, and you've put the mistake from the past
behind you. Alcoholism can be a fatal disease. Don't letting putting off making an apology or paying a debt you owe
become a bigger problem in the future that could cause you to pick up a drink.

33. Facing the Truth - Oh, this is a hard step for me. I tend to hide the memory of past transgressions under the ever
handy umbrella of "Didn't do it if I don't remember". Since I spent years in a boozy haze all sorts of hurts were
ignored.(family tends to be the hardest of all to make amends to) at least it was for me.
During my drinking "career" I lived far away from my family, therefore, no amends were required. Wrong! Facing the
fact that omissions can be painful made this a powerfully healing step to do. And I keep on working it by staying
sober, that is also a form of an amend.
An Amend, Not an Apology - What is an amend? The technical answer is an amend is a change. An amend is not an
apology. It is a clear and purposeful act designed to clear up a problem from the past.
If I harmed someone, and then in the course of working the steps reach a point to make an amend, it is my duty to
sit down with the person and explain fully about substance abuse, my own personal program, what my fears were,
and how I have changed as a human being.
If I owe something material, I pay it back, with interest if necessary. If what I owe cannot be measured in gold or
other material substance, then I must humbly ask for forgiveness for my indiscretions and go my way. (What price is
there for hurt feelings?). If we owe money, Pay it back, don’t just say I’m sorry, If you broke your neighbors, fence Fix
it and so on.

34. A Healing Opportunity - When I first experienced Step 9, I made amends because I finally saw things differently, and
saw my part in the hurts I had caused and wanted to confess to them so I could feel better and let go of the guilt I had
with this new awareness.
This was a good start for me but there were still a lot of "I's" as I experienced this step. As with all my steps I have
found for me, that as time moves on they reveal more and more to me. I have found that there is so much spiritual
depth to them. The more I practiced this step the more I found out how much healing comes from it and not just for
me.
So when I become aware of an injury I have caused another person, I gladly bear my soul of my wrong-doing so that
the other person doesn't have to carry around any excess garbage, twist their mind over and over again trying to make
sense from the Mack truck that just ran them over. How blessed we are to become free from our past, and given the
gift to help free another.
As in many harms done, I found that it just wasn't "I" who had it all twisted up. In opening up some past wrongs and in
making those amends, many dear and wonderful people have also received a healing, an understanding and answers
to stuff they were holding on to for far too long. The truth also set them free.

35. Admitting the Part I Played - I always thought that I had been making direct amends whenever I had injured others. I
would apologize for my mistakes and pray about it to have the knowledge to not repeat my actions. This what how I
felt before coming to AA.
And I am glad we have this step, It keeps us honest with ourselves and with others.
Nobody likes to admit to being wrong. But it is absolutely necessary to maintain spiritual progress in recovery

36. Step 10: Continued to take person inventory, and
when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Step 10 may be one of the least popular of all the 12 steps because it is simply no fun to be wrong and then have to
admit it! But without this step, progress toward recovery can not only cease, it can actually lose ground.
It is another process which seems on the surface to be difficult to face, but in actuality, it is as much a benefit to the
one admitting the wrong as it is to the person who was wronged.
By promptly facing mistakes and taking responsibility for them, it prevents situations from festering into resentments
and anger that can become real problems.
Step 10 helps to keep the spiritual house clean. All humans and are bound to make mistakes and errors. Owning up to
those wrongs quickly settles the issue. Rather than weighing on the conscience or building up to produce greater
consequence, the mistake is corrected promptly and the problem nipped in the bud.

37. For example, suppose you say something insensitive or crude and as soon as it pops out of your mouth, you realize it
was not the right thing to say to that person. As step 10 suggests, you apologize immediately and tell the person that
you were wrong and you should never have said it.
Then, you can walk away knowing you have done your part to make it right. If the other person wants to hold on to it
and remain angry about it, it is their problem, not yours. The steps are to help you make progress. In the end, you
apologized for your spiritual benefit, more than for their benefit.
Staying Humble - I love this step! It keeps me honest and humble and keeps that inner peace with me that I sought for
so very long. I know immediately if I have hurt someone, I really try in daily living to always stop before I open my
mouth and think.
I know when I hit the pillow at night there is usually no one that is hurt by something I've said or done. This step in my
daily life has helped me to be more conscious of other people's feelings instead of just my own. I guess you could say
it gives you a conscience and the means to deal with it.
Step 10 Is an Ego Buster - My least favorite step. Me? Wrong? Can't be! And when I am wrong, I always find a way to
turn it and twist it and make it the other guy's fault. That's what I did for years. Today, I very reluctantly admit when I
am wrong, and to tell you the truth, even though it makes me feel better, I still don't like doing it. The reason is simple:
EGO!

38. Cleaning House - For me, Step 10 is very important to my daily living. What a joy to not let any mean spirited deed or
thoughtless remark fester. The act of quickly trying to right the wrong keeps my mental house clean. If I cannot "fix"
the hurt directly to the person, I try to do an unexpected kindness to another.
Taking Responsibility - Continuing to take my inventory was not too difficult, because my fourth step really acquainted
me with myself as I was, and what I was. After sharing what I had learned about me, with another person, and God, I
was capable of recapping my life on a daily basis.
When everything was going well It was important that I reflect this also in my daily inventory. I had learned that the
inventory was good as well as bad. When or if it were bad I had to take responsibility.
I had learned the hard way that if I didn't, then the conscience that God had renewed in me made me very
uncomfortable.
So I learned that it made me feel good to admit to being human, and making a mistake, and being truly sorry for it.
This being accomplished this alcoholic felt some bit of serenity. It sure does beat the heck out of getting drunk over
the situation.
The bottom line for me is don't pick-up a drink no matter what. I do whatever I have to do to accomplish that. That
definitely includes step 10. The first of my "maintenance steps".

39. Step 10: Daily Inventory - One of the worst hangovers that I can ever have in life is anger (one letter away from
danger). This is something that I must take care of real fast, not let it go on for days or even hours. I am very aware of
how I treat people and when I lay my head down at night and I can't go right to sleep, there is something the matter
with the way I have lived my life that day. Time to take that daily inventory.
There are times when I have to do this as the day goes on. If I am feeling overwhelmed (spot check). Having been in
this program for some time now I know that I have to do this step all the time (every day). I have had to make this a
daily thing in my life. At first, I thought this was going to be a drag until I realized how good it made me feel at the end
of the day and during the day.
This step has also shown me the good side of me also, things that I have done well today. I always try to look at both
sides of the day the good and the bad, and thank God for sitting beside me all day, and you know what? I slept pretty
well last night!
For my sobriety, I must work this step every day. I must look at "my" part alone. I get frustrated and angry. It is usually
because I am being selfish and want my way. The 10th step has afforded me the ability to recognize this. Without it, I
would continue to believe I am always right. I would not accept I could be wrong.

40. Step 11: Sought through prayer and meditation to
improve our conscious contact with God as we
understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His
will for us and the power to carry that out.
For many in recovery, the concept of spirituality can be unfamiliar. If you seek solace in a bottle or in bars, you may
have other problems going such as a broken relationship or crumbling marriage, a criminal history or generally, a life in
turmoil. Even for those who have had an upbringing in a church, you may find that your experience was more
"religious" and prescriptive rather than spiritual.
For most who are earnest in working the 12 steps, by the time you arrive at step 11 you may discover a measure of
spirituality at work in your life. For many AA members, they say they have discovered their higher power and form a
better understanding of that power.

41. The approaches and methods of prayer and meditation suggested in step 11 vary, but the purpose of the step is to
connect with that higher power. Some prefer to call the higher power "God," others avoid the G-word altogether. The
point is AA members discover through participation in the program that there is a power greater than themselves, and
they have seen that power at work.
As members accept the "serenity" principle that "Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake"
there is an acknowledgment of a higher power, and there is a plan for their lives. Through prayer and meditation,
members can attempt to raise their consciousness of that power and draw on it to continue their personal journey of
recovery.
How Does a Person Who Is Atheist or Agnostic Pray? - As suggested by the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation, you can
pray or meditate by being still, quiet, stopping, reflecting and listening to your thoughts. You can plan your day in an
orderly way. Ask yourself, God, or a higher power for the right answers to get you through the day. In moments of
confusion or unbalance, stop, ask yourself or the higher power for the right way to proceed. Understand it, visualize it,
go on. For many this is self-reflection, for others, this is asking God for guidance. The end result usually turns out the
same, it basically all comes down to common sense at the end.

42. Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the
result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message
to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all
our affairs.
The last of the 12 Steps is to carry the message to others and to put the principles of the program into practice in
every area of your life. For those in recovery programs, practicing Step 12 is simply "how it works," as the founders of
the fellowship discovered for themselves in those early days.
As the history of Alcoholics Anonymous so clearly indicates, it was working with others who were still suffering that
kept Bill W. and Dr. Bob sober. The same principle is true for all members of 12 step groups: "to keep it you have to
give it away."
Carrying the message to others, by sharing experience, strength, and hope reinforces the spiritual principle of the
twelve steps in the person being 12th-stepped as well as the one doing the sharing. If nobody was doing any 12th-
step work, the program would simply cease to exist. Without the service work of those who came before, no members
would be here now.

43. But Step 12 also admonishes members to put the spiritual growth they have found to work not only within the
fellowship but it all aspects of their lives—to practice these principles in all your affairs. This too is doing 12th step
"work" and makes the program work as one of attraction and not promotion. For many in the 12-step fellowships,
working the 12th step is simply how it works.
Living It to Give It Away: When the Alcoholic makes the call to AA, members were at their door sometimes in 15
minutes. When a newcomer would be in the AA clubroom when the phone rang and members would leap to answer it
and run to go on the 12th-step call. After they were in the program for a while their sponsor would take them on 12th-
step calls.
When they started doing 12th-step calls on their own, they found that sometimes they were getting too involved and
nobody they were serving was getting sober. Their sponsor had a long talk with them to explain that they were trying
to save the world and that they needed to remember to carry the message, not the body. They learned that they
couldn't sober up the whole world and that all he could do was to carry the message, the rest is up to the alcoholic.
They found that the follow-up is an important part of a 12th-step call. Calling the person in a few days to see if they
might want to go to a meeting with you shows that you are for real.

44. Setting the Example: We discovered that 12th-step work wasn't just going out to help the one who still suffers. It also
included simply going to meetings and being seen there; making coffee; speaking up during comments; saying "yes"
when asked to do service work or speak at a meeting; offering to give a ride to those who otherwise would not go to a
meeting; in short, 12th-step work is very much setting the example.
Avoiding Enabling: One challenge of Step 12 is avoiding the mistake of carrying the alcoholic instead of carrying the
message. In short, don't rescue the alcoholic as it harms him in the long run.
Page 96 of the Big Book says. "He may be broke and homeless. If he is, you might try to help him about getting a job,
or give him a little financial assistance. But you should not deprive your family or creditors of money they should have.
Perhaps you will want to take the man into your home for a few days. But be sure you use discretion. Be certain he will
be welcomed by your family, and that he is not trying to impose upon you for money, connections, or shelter. Permit
that and you only harm him. You will be making it possible for him to be insincere. You may be aiding in his
destruction rather than his recovery."