1 Adapted from material by the Odegaard Writing & Research Center: http://www.depts.washington.edu/owrc Attending to Style INTRODUCTION Most of us know good style when we see it. We also know when a sentence feels awkward and cumbersome. But it’s not always easy to say why a sentence–especially one that’s grammatically correct—isn't working for us. We look at the sentence; we see that the commas are in the right places; we find no error to speak of. So why is the sentence so awful? What's gone wrong? When thinking about what makes a good sentence, it's important to put yourself in the place of your reader. What does your reader hope to find in your sentences? Information, yes. Eloquence, yes. But above all, a reader is looking for clarity. Your reader does not want to wrestle with your sentences. She wants to read with ease. She wants to see one idea build upon the other. She wants to see, without struggling, the emphasis of your language and the importance of your idea. Above all, she wants to feel that you, the writer, are doing the bulk of the work, and not she, the reader. In short, she wants to read sentences that are forceful, straightforward, and clear. How do you manage to write these kinds of sentences? We hope to instruct you. The principles below are drawn from Joseph Williams' Style: The Basics of Clarity and Grace. In this book, Williams outlines ten ways to think about your sentences; if you want to improve as a writer, it’s worth consulting the entire volume. For now, here are some of Williams’ key insights. THE BASIC PRINCIPLES OF THE SENTENCE PRINCIPLE ONE: FOCUS ON ACTORS AND ACTIONS To understand what makes a good sentence, it's important to understand one principle: a sentence, at its very basic level, is about actors and actions. Someone does something. The subject of a sentence should point clearly to the actor—the doer—and the verb of the sentence should describe the important action, or the something done. This principle might seem so obvious to you that you don't think that it warrants further discussion. But think again. Look at the following sentence, and then try to determine, in a nutshell, what is wrong with it:  There was uncertainty in President Clinton's mind about the intention of the Russians to disarm their nuclear weapons. This sentence has no grammatical errors, but it’s awkward. It lumbers along without any force. Now consider the following sentence:  President Clinton remained unconvinced that the Russians intended to disarm their nuclear weapons. We can point to the obvious differences, such as omitting the "there is" phrase, replacing the wimpy "uncertainty" with the more powerful "remained unconvinced," and replacing the abstract noun "intention" with the stronger verb "intended." But what principle governs these changes? The idea that the actor in a sentence should serve as the sentence's subjec ...

1. 1
Adapted from material by the Odegaard Writing & Research
Center: http://www.depts.washington.edu/owrc
Attending to Style
INTRODUCTION
Most of us know good style when we see it. We also know when
a sentence feels awkward and
cumbersome. But it’s not always easy to say why a sentence–
especially one that’s grammatically
correct—isn't working for us. We look at the sentence; we see
that the commas are in the right
places; we find no error to speak of. So why is the sentence so
awful? What's gone wrong?
When thinking about what makes a good sentence, it's important
to put yourself in the place of your
reader. What does your reader hope to find in your sentences?
Information, yes. Eloquence, yes.

2. But above all, a reader is looking for clarity. Your reader does
not want to wrestle with your
sentences. She wants to read with ease. She wants to see one
idea build upon the other. She wants
to see, without struggling, the emphasis of your language and
the importance of your idea. Above
all, she wants to feel that you, the writer, are doing the bulk of
the work, and not she, the reader.
In short, she wants to read sentences that are forceful,
straightforward, and clear.
How do you manage to write these kinds of sentences? We hope
to instruct you. The principles
below are drawn from Joseph Williams' Style: The Basics of
Clarity and Grace. In this book, Williams
outlines ten ways to think about your sentences; if you want to
improve as a writer, it’s worth
consulting the entire volume. For now, here are some of
Williams’ key insights.
THE BASIC PRINCIPLES OF THE SENTENCE
PRINCIPLE ONE: FOCUS ON ACTORS AND ACTIONS
To understand what makes a good sentence, it's important to

3. understand one principle: a sentence,
at its very basic level, is about actors and actions. Someone
does something. The subject of a
sentence should point clearly to the actor—the doer—and the
verb of the sentence should describe
the important action, or the something done.
This principle might seem so obvious to you that you don't think
that it warrants further discussion.
But think again. Look at the following sentence, and then try to
determine, in a nutshell, what is
wrong with it:
nt Clinton's mind about the
intention of the Russians to
disarm their nuclear weapons.
This sentence has no grammatical errors, but it’s awkward. It
lumbers along without any force.
Now consider the following sentence:
ained unconvinced that the Russians
intended to disarm their nuclear

4. weapons.
We can point to the obvious differences, such as omitting the
"there is" phrase, replacing the wimpy
"uncertainty" with the more powerful "remained unconvinced,"
and replacing the abstract noun
"intention" with the stronger verb "intended." But what
principle governs these changes? The idea
that the actor in a sentence should serve as the sentence's
subject, and the action should be
illustrated forcefully in the sentence's verbs: Someone does
something. President Clinton remained
unconvinced. The Russians intended to disarm. Whenever you
feel that your prose is confusing or
hard to follow, find the actors and the actions of your sentences.
Is the actor the subject of your
sentence? Is the action a verb? If not, rewrite your sentence
accordingly.
2
Adapted from material by the Odegaard Writing & Research
Center: http://www.depts.washington.edu/owrc

5. PRINCIPLE TWO: BE CONCRETE, NOT ABSTRACT
This principle follows from the recommendation to write with
actors and actions. Instead of using
active verbs, student writers sometimes rely on abstract nouns:
they use "expectation" instead of
"expect,” or "evaluation" instead of "evaluate.” Why use a noun
when a verb would be more vivid
and concise? Many students believe that abstract nouns sound
more "academic." But when you
write with a lot of abstractions, you end up putting yourself in a
corner syntactically. Consider:
1. Nouns require prepositions. Too many prepositional phrases
in a sentence are hard to
follow. Verbs, on the other hand, can stand on their own. If you
need some proof for this
claim, consider the following sentence: An evaluation of the
tutors by the administrative
staff is necessary in servicing our clients. Notice how many
prepositional phrases these
nouns require. Now look at this sentence, which uses actors and
actions, and is much easier

6. to read: The administrative staff evaluates the tutors so that we
can serve our clients.
2. Abstract nouns invite the "there is" construction. Consider
this sentence: There was
much discussion in the department about the upcoming tenure
decision. We might rewrite
this sentence as follows: The faculty discussed who might earn
tenure. The result, again, is
more direct and easier to read: we know exactly who discussed
what.
In addition to these syntactic concerns, abstract nouns can
obscure your ideas themselves.
3. Abstract nouns are, well, abstract. It’s hard to know what you
mean by “her
expectations,” “his values,” or “the staff’s quality.” Using too
many abstract nouns will make
your ideas feel vague and incomplete, as though you are naming
a topic without saying
anything specific about it. Use concrete nouns and strong verbs
to make your ideas precise.
4. Nouns and prepositions can hide your logic. Note how hard it
is to follow the line of

7. reasoning in this sentence: Decisions in regards to the dismissal
of tutors on the basis of
their inability to detect grammar errors in the papers of students
rest with the Director of
Composition. Now consider this revision: When a tutor fails to
detect grammar errors in
student papers, the Director of Composition must decide
whether to dismiss her. You should
see how the abstract nouns force you to use opaque phrases like
"on the basis of" or "in
regards to" (Who will regard what?). The second sentence is
much clearer, relying on the
simple word “when” to illustrate the cause-effect connection.
The Exceptions: When to Use Abstract Nouns
Of course, writers will occasionally need to use abstract nouns.
Sometimes, the abstract noun refers
to something that was stated concretely in a previous sentence
("these arguments," "this decision,"
etc.). Here, referring to the same information in a more abstract
way produces cohesion between
sentences. In other instances, abstract nouns allow you to be
more concise ("her needs" vs. "the

8. things she needed," “his decision” vs. “what he decided”).
In still other instances, the abstract noun is a concept important
to your argument: artistic freedom,
romantic love, revolution, and so on. It will be vital for your
paper to define this concept and provide
concrete examples—you can never assume that your reader
shares your exact understanding of
something as big and abstract as “love” or “freedom.”
These exceptions are important to acknowledge. Still, if you
examine your drafts, you’ll almost
certainly find that you overuse abstract nouns, and that omitting
them from your writing will make
for clearer, more vivid prose.
3
Adapted from material by the Odegaard Writing & Research
Center: http://www.depts.washington.edu/owrc
PRINCIPLE THREE: BE CONCISE

9. First drafts are never concise. They use phrases when a single
word will do, or offer pairs of
adjectives and verbs where one is enough. They often include
redundancies, saying the same thing
two or three times with the hope that one of those instances will
be relevant. Now, all’s fair in a first
draft, but when it comes to revising: Delete!
Do you need hedging adverbs like "actually," "basically," or
"generally"? Isn't "first and foremost"
redundant? What is the point of "future" in "future plans?" How
different are your “beliefs and
opinions” or “wishes and hopes”—can you just say “beliefs” or
“hopes”? Delete, delete, delete!
Sometimes you won't be able to fix a longwinded sentence by
deleting a few words; you'll have to
rewrite the whole thing. In these cases, start by finding your
actors and actions. For example:
Plagiarism is a serious academic offense resulting in
punishments that might include suspension or
dismissal, profoundly affecting your academic career. The idea
can be expressed directly: If you’re
caught plagiarizing, you may be suspended or dismissed.

10. PRINCIPLE FOUR: BEGIN SENTENCES COHERENTLY,
WITH FAMILIAR CONCEPTS
At this point in our discussion of style, we move from the
sentence as a discrete unit to the way that
sentences fit together. Incoherence is a frequent problem in
student writing, especially first drafts.
Professors often encounter papers in which all the necessary
ideas seem to be there—somewhere—
but they are hard to follow. The sentences seem jumbled, as
though they were cut and pasted in
random order. The line of reasoning is anything but linear, and
the ideas fail to build on each other.
While coherence is a complicated matter, we have a trick that
will help your sentences flow. As silly
as it sounds, we recommend that you "dress" your sentences like
a bride in the old rhyme, with
something old and something new. Each sentence you write
should begin with the old—that is, with
something that looks back to the previous sentence or the
general topic of your paper. Then your
sentence should tell the reader something new, moving your
ideas forward. If you do this, your line

11. of reasoning will be easy for your reader to follow.
While this advice sounds simple, it isn’t always easy to heed.
Let's take the practice apart so that we
can better understand how sentences might be "well-dressed."
Consider, first, the beginning of your
sentences—the coherence of your paper depends largely upon
how well your sentences start. When
look at the beginning of a sentence, you have three things to
consider:
1. Is your topic also the subject of your sentence? Usually,
when a paper lacks coherence,
it’s because the writer hasn’t made sure that the TOPIC of each
sentence is also the
grammatical SUBJECT. For instance, if I’m writing about
Hitler's skill as a speaker, the
grammar of my sentence should reflect this: Hitler's skill as a
speaker was more crucial to
the swift rise of the Nazi party than his skill as a politician. If I
bury my topic in a subordinate
clause, it’s much harder to identify: The Nazi party’s rise to
power, which came about
because of Hitler's skill as a speaker, was surprisingly swift.
The principle here is simple: if

12. you’re making a claim about X, X should be the sentence’s
grammatical subject.
2. Are the topics and subjects of your sentences consistent? For
a paragraph to be
coherent, most of the sentences’ subjects should refer to the
same person or concept. To
check for consistency, pick any paragraph in your current draft
and list the subjects of your
sentences. Do the items on your list correspond to your main
topic? For example, if you
wrote a paragraph about whales’ eating habits, do most of your
sentences’ subjects refer to
“whales,” “eating,” “habits,” or pronouns replacing these
nouns? Or are some of your
sentences about researchers, Sea World, and Jacques Cousteau?
Of course, Sea World may
have a place in a paragraph about whales’ eating habits, but
you’ll confuse your reader if it
winds up in the subject position too frequently; consciously or
unconsciously, they will think
they’re learning not about whales or eating habits, but about Sea
World.

13. 4
Adapted from material by the Odegaard Writing & Research
Center: http://www.depts.washington.edu/owrc
3. Have you marked, when appropriate, the transitions between
ideas? Coherence also
depends on how well you connect each sentence to the one that
came before it. You will
want to make solid transitions between your sentences, using
words such as however or
therefore. You will also want to signal to your reader whenever
something important or
disappointing comes up, using expressions like it is important to
note that, unfortunately,
etc. You might also need to indicate time or place in your
argument. If so, you’ll use
transitions such as then, later, earlier, afterward, in my previous
section, etc.
Be careful, however, not to overuse transitional phrases. Some
writers think transitions can direct a
reader through an argument all by themselves. It’s true that

14. sometimes a paragraph just needs a
"however" in order for the direction of its argument to make
sense. But more often, the problem
with coherence doesn’t stem from a lack of transitions, but from
the fact that the writer doesn’t
know how the ideas in adjacent sentences are related to each
other. Don't rely on transitions alone
to bring sense to muddled prose. A therefore placed between
two unrelated ideas doesn’t make
them related. In fact, it’s worse than using no transition at all: it
will confuse your reader even more
by telling them to look for a relationship where no relationship
exists!
PRINCIPLE FIVE: END SENTENCES EMPHATICALLY,
WITH NEW INFORMATION
We have been talking about sentences and their beginnings, but
what about the way sentences
end? If the beginnings of your sentences must look over their
shoulders at what came before, the
ends of your sentences can forge ahead into new ground. Most
of the work that each sentence
does—the new concept that that specific sentence adds to your
paper—happens in the end, whether

15. that means the last three words or the entire predicate.
Generally speaking, the beginning of your
sentence confirms your topic: the end of your sentence
expresses a new idea about it.
It is the ends of your sentences, then, that must be clear and
emphatic. To write emphatically,
follow these principles:
1. Declare your important idea at the end of your sentence. Shift
your less important
ideas to the middle, keeping your topic and any transitions at
the front.
2. Trim the ends of your sentences. Don't trail off into
abstractions, don't repeat
yourself, and don't qualify what you've just said if you don't
have to. Simply make your
point and move on. If you have more to say about that point, it
can become the “old,”
familiar information at the beginning of the next sentence.
3. Use subordinate clauses for subordinate ideas. Put the
important ideas in main

16. clauses, and the less important ideas in subordinate clauses.
Rather than writing
Millennials are buying avocado toast instead of saving money
for houses. Millennials are
people born between 1980 and 1995, embed the definition in a
subordinate clause:
Millennials, who are the generation born between 1980 and
1995, are buying avocado
toast instead of saving money for houses.
4. Know where your sentences end. Compound sentences,
especially those joined with
semi-colons, can make it hard for your reader to know which
ideas to emphasize.
Consider this example: Interactive computer games teach
children valuable skills; they
also encourage disturbing power fantasies. In this sentence, the
fact that games teach
skills appears just as important as the fact that they encourage
power fantasies, and
your reader would expect you to say an equal amount about both
topics. On the other
hand, this sentence makes it clear that your paper will focus on
how the games

17. encourage power fantasies: Although interactive computer
games teach children
valuable skills, they also encourage disturbing power fantasies.
And this sentence
emphasizes the emotional effect of those fantasies: Although
interactive computer
games teach children valuable skills, they also encourage power
fantasies that parents
may find disturbing.
1
How to Write a Paragraph
B. R. Bickmore, Brigham Young University
Introduction
When you move on to graduate school or professional life, you
will be expected to write pieces
that are much larger than anything you have produced before.
Some students have little problem
making this transition, while others find it extremely painful.
My experience is that students
who find this transition painful generally have trouble with the
organization of their writing—

18. even on a small scale. If you do not organize your sentences
and paragraphs well, you may still
be able to write a short paper that your instructor can follow.
But as your writing projects
become longer and more detailed, it becomes harder for
someone else to follow what you are
saying, and harder for you to come up with what to say and
where to say it. It’s easy for
everyone involved to become hopelessly lost.
It’s more complicated than you might think to write a really
well crafted sentence or paragraph—
expert writers look at a number of things when they draft and
edit. There are a few key
techniques for drafting and editing sentences and paragraphs,
however, that are easily learned,
but that can help most people quickly and dramatically improve
the quality of their writing.
Here I am going to introduce you to a key technique for
organizing paragraphs that should help
most of you quickly become substantially better writers.
Paragraph Logic
Maybe you have noticed that two people can sometimes read

19. your writing, but come away with
substantially different ideas about its meaning. It probably isn’t
all your fault, because part of
the problem is that people tend to see what they expect, even
when it just isn’t there. But people
being what they are, part of a writer’s job is to anticipate
readers’ expectations so that effective
communication can happen. Whether they realize it or not,
most readers approach a paragraph
looking for three things, which Joseph Williams labeled the
issue, the discussion, and the
POINT. That is, they look for a brief opening segment (one or
more sentences) where the author
introduces the issue at hand, a longer discussion of the themes
introduced in the opening
segment, and a single sentence, either at the end of the issue or
the discussion, that clearly states
the POINT the author is trying to get across.1 Following are
brief descriptions of what Williams
meant by the issue, the discussion, and the POINT of a
paragraph.
The Issue
You may be thinking that the issue is just a fancy name for the
“topic sentence” you were taught

20. to write in primary and secondary school, but they really serve a
quite different function. Let’s
compare. According to one website designed to help fifth-
graders learn to write,
Every paragraph needs a topic sentence. The topic sentence is
usually the first sentence of the paragraph. It
gives the reader an idea of what the paragraph is going to be
about.2
1 Joseph M. Williams (1995), Style: Toward Clarity and Grace,
Chicago, University of Chicago Press, p. 92.
2 “Topic Sentences,”
http://www.geocities.com/fifth_grade_tpes/longfellow.html,
accessed September 14, 2007.
How To Write a Paragraph
2
Within the typical model of writing that grade-schoolers are
taught, the “topic sentence” tells the
reader up front what the point of the paragraph is, and
subsequent sentences in the paragraph are
meant to support whatever claims were made there. This is an
easy way to teach kids to

21. compose basic arguments, but a little more subtlety is often
required of adult writers.
In Williams’ model, the issue segment of a paragraph performs
two main functions that make
this kind of subtlety possible. First, it draws the reader in by
describing an interesting situation
or defining a problem. After all, why should anyone want to
read what you have to say, unless
you link it to some kind of problem they care about? Second,
the issue links the present
paragraph to the previous one, ensuring a logical flow to your
argument.
Let’s consider one of the previous paragraphs in this essay to
illustrate what the issue segment
does for a paragraph. When I first wrote it, the paragraph
looked like this.
[Example 1]
Whether they realize it or not, most readers approach a
paragraph looking for three
things, which Joseph Williams labeled the issue, the discussion,
and the POINT.
That is, they look for a brief opening segment where the author
introduces the issue at

22. hand, a longer discussion of the themes introduced in the
opening segment, and a single
sentence, either at the end of the issue or the discussion, that
clearly states the POINT the
author is trying to get across. Following are brief descriptions
of what Williams meant
by the issue, the discussion, and the POINT of a paragraph.
I realized, however, that while the first sentence was my issue
statement, it performed its
intended functions poorly. I had failed to hook the reader by
explaining why anyone should care
about what readers are looking for, and I had brought in
completely new actors—the readers—
without connecting them to what I had previously said. Now
look at the paragraph again, after I
revised the issue statement in bold.
[Example 2]
Maybe you have noticed that two people can sometimes read
your writing, but come
away with substantially different ideas about its meaning. In a
sense, it isn’t really
all your fault, because part of the problem is that people tend to

23. see what they
expect, even when it just isn’t there. But people being what
they are, part of a
writer’s job is to anticipate readers’ expectations so that
effective communication
can happen. Whether they realize it or not, most readers
approach a paragraph
looking for three things, which Joseph Williams labeled the
issue, the discussion,
and the POINT. That is, they look for a brief opening segment
where the author
introduces the issue at hand, a longer discussion of the themes
introduced in the opening
segment, and a single sentence, either at the end of the issue or
the discussion, that clearly
states the POINT the author is trying to get across. Following
are brief descriptions of
what Williams meant by the issue, the discussion, and the
POINT of a paragraph.
Notice how the actors in the first sentence of the issue are
“you” and people who read what you
have written. This links back to the previous sentence, which
talks about helping you become a
better writer. The first three sentences go on describe a problem

24. you will often face as a writer—
How To Write a Paragraph
3
how to connect with readers. Finally, the last sentence of the
issue states the POINT of the
paragraph as a whole.
As a reader of this essay, try to imagine how your experience
would have been different if I had
not altered that paragraph. Perhaps you would not have been
completely lost, but I suspect it
would not have “felt” quite right, either. The cumulative effect
of an essay full of paragraphs
with inadequate issue statements is usually a very
uncomfortable reading experience, and you
would have a more difficult time following the overall trend of
the argument.
The Discussion
An argument is more than just an issue statement, of course.
Once a writer brings up an issue,
she has to either 1) provide evidence that she has some solution
to at least part of the problem, or

25. 2) develop the argument that this really is an important and/or
difficult issue. Consider the
following paragraph, in which I have bolded the discussion.
[Example 3]
If you have chosen to be a geologist, you have chosen to be a
writer – there is no escape!
Although the amount and type of writing required varies
between geological careers,
writing is one of the major activities of all professionals
because scientific work has no
value if it is not communicated. An academic scientist spends
much of her time
writing journal articles, grant proposals, and course materials.
A petroleum
geologist spends a good deal of time writing reports for
managers. A consulting
geologist must write geological reports for clients who may
know nothing about
geology. In every case, the geologist will be rewarded for
writing quickly and well
for the target audience.
If the POINT of the paragraph (the last sentence of the issue) is
that every job in geology

26. involves a significant amount of writing, then the rest of the
paragraph is clearly meant to
support this POINT. In other cases, the discussion here merely
develops the themes introduced
in the issue, rather than giving direct support to a specific claim
(see Example 6 below.)
The POINT
Anyone would agree that a paragraph ought to have a point, but
a well-written paragraph has a
POINT that is easy for readers to find. This is why Williams
suggests that the POINT of each
paragraph be distilled into a single sentence at the end of the
issue or discussion. If your readers
can easily find a clearly articulated POINT, they can quickly
judge how firmly you have
established it. In Example 3, for instance, the second sentence
clearly states the POINT (all
kinds of geologists have to write); the subsequent discussion
provides a number of examples
(writing by academics, petroleum geologists, and consulting
geologists) to support this claim,
and a final statement about something all these examples have
in common.

27. The following paragraph, on the other hand, lacks a clear
POINT.
[Example 4]
By 130 million years ago, the South Atlantic began to open near
the tip of what is now
South Africa. As this zone of rifting migrated northward, it
gradually opened the South
Atlantic…. Continued breakup of the southern landmass led to
the separation of Africa
How To Write a Paragraph
4
and Antarctica and sent India on a northward journey. By the
early Cenozoic, about 50
million years ago, Australia had separated from Antarctica, and
the South Atlantic had
emerged as a full-fledged Ocean.3
Example 4 seems to be a string of related claims, but there is no
clear statement of how they are
related. Consider the effect of adding a clear statement of the
POINT.
[Example 5]

28. The next split in Pangaea, which occurred over about 80 million
years, formed the
South Atlantic. By 130 million years ago, the South Atlantic
had begun to open near the
tip of what is now South Africa. As this zone of rifting
migrated northward, it gradually
opened the South Atlantic…. Continued breakup of the
southern landmass led to the
separation of Africa and Antarctica and sent India on a
northward journey. By the early
Cenozoic, about 50 million years ago, Australia had separated
from Antarctica, and the
South Atlantic had emerged as a full-fledged Ocean.
Now the reader can quickly and easily identify what this
paragraph is supposed to be saying, and
judge how well the discussion supports the claim.
I noted above that readers look for the POINT of a paragraph at
the end of either the issue or the
discussion, but all the examples so far have appeared at the end
of the issue. It seems that most
paragraphs are structured this way. But sometimes it is more
effective to choose the other option,

29. placing your POINT at the very end of the paragraph. When the
POINT appears at the end of the
issue, the reader is drawn in and then immediately told where
the paragraph is going; this
strategy can help readers stay firmly oriented. But if the POINT
is a particularly bold claim, for
instance, you may want to present your evidence up front to
soften readers up before hitting them
with the full force of your argument. Alternatively, the POINT
may lead so beautifully into the
next paragraph that it makes sense to put it at the end. The
following paragraph uses this kind of
strategy.
[Example 6]
Scientists rarely read entire articles. This is because, although
our goal is to make
science as a whole internally consistent—it’s no good proposing
a geological hypothesis
that conceptually violates fundamental theories in physics, for
example—the scientific
literature remains so vast that nobody can possibly master all of
it. We comb through
databases, searching for any literature that might bear on our
work, and it usually turns

30. out that the stack of literature that could be significantly related
is much too large. To
stem the tide, we look at a couple key features to determine
whether we want to bother
finding and printing the whole article; and if we do, we look at
a few more key parts of a
paper for the information we want. Then, if we just can’t get
around it, we might read the
entire thing. Given this reality, it is essential that writers of
scientific papers
organize their work into an accepted format, so that colleagues
can quickly find
what they want.4
3 Frederick K. Lutgens and Edward J. Tarbuck (2005)
Foundations of Earth Science, 4th ed., Upper Saddle River,
NJ, Pearson Education, 144.
4 Barry R. Bickmore (2007) How to Write a Scientific Paper.
How To Write a Paragraph
5
The first two sentences (in italics) introduce the issue at hand—

31. even though scientists want their
work to be consistent with the rest of science, we don’t have
time to become familiar with more
than a tiny fraction of it. The next several sentences (in normal
font) form the discussion, where
the themes introduced in the issue are developed further.
Finally, the last sentence (in bold)
states the POINT. In this case, the POINT is not particularly
bold or unusual, but it does follow
quite naturally from the issue as it was developed in the
discussion. And since the next
paragraph in that essay is about balancing your desire to get
colleagues to read your entire paper
with their need to access information quickly, it works well to
put the POINT where it is.
Into Practice
As you edit a paragraph, ask yourself the following questions
and try to think of changes that
would make the answer “yes” in each case.
1. Do the first sentences (one or more) of the paragraph clearly
state an issue that readers
should care about? That is, can you detect the issue statement?

32. 2. Is the issue connected with readers’ prior knowledge or with
what has been written
previously in the same piece?
3. Is there a single sentence, either at the end of the issue or
discussion, that clearly states
the POINT?
4. Do the remaining sentences in the paragraph (the discussion)
clearly support the POINT?
Once in a while it will be expedient to go against some of these
guidelines, but if you edit with
the intention of conforming when possible, your resulting work
will be much easier to read and
evaluate. This goes for you, too—not just for your readers.
And if you can read and evaluate
your own work more easily, you will have an easier time
deciding where you have leaps in logic,
whether certain points would fit better in another location, etc.
In short, you will be able to get
that thesis done!
Extra Credit: Good Sentences ProjectTask
In “Thank You, Esther Forbes,” George Saunders argues that
“the sentence [is] where the battle [is] fought” (61). A sentence
is more than a tool for conveying information: it creates a
specific way of perceiving of the world. For Saunders, Forbes

33. “awoke a love for sentences” (64) by modeling language that
was at once beautiful, compact, precise, and honest. In this
project, you’ll be collecting your own set of model sentences:
sentences that catch your attention with their sound, shape, or
meaning. By playing close attention to the language in what you
read or listen to over the course of the quarter, you’ll expand
your own set of sentence-writing techniques.
In a format of your choice, you will collect five “good”
sentences and explain why they stood out to you. Your
explanations should be thorough and detailed—aim for 100 to
150 words per sentence. You may discuss the content of your
sentences, but by and large, your analysis should focus on
language use: syntax, word choice, and punctuation. In other
words, I expect to see you noticing things like subjects and
verbs, abstract and concrete language, adjectives, prepositions,
commas, definite and indefinite articles, rhythm, emphasis,
metaphor, comparison, parallelism, or ellipsis.[footnoteRef:1]
[1: For a model of what this assignment might look like, see
Roy Peter Clark’s analysis of ‘the ten best sentences’ in
American literature: http://www.poynter.org/2014/why-these-
are-the-ten-best-sentences/245081/]
I’d like you to practice close reading both in and out of class.
For this reason, no more than two of your sentences should
come from texts we read in this course. The other sentences
should come from your other daily encounters with language:
news or magazines, social media, recreational reading,
advertisements, television, music, podcasts, homework for other
classes, etc. Please indicate the source of each sentence when
you include it in your project.EvaluationCompleteness
· Analyzes five sentences, no more than two of which come
from class readings. Identifies the source of each sentence.
Analysis
· Reveals more about each sentence than the reader would
notice on a first read. Discusses a variety of language features,
such as syntax and grammar, word choice, rhythm and sound,

34. and figurative language.
· Explains the sentence’s effect on the reader in sufficient
detail, showing why you found this sentence striking and how
you responded to it.