3. Writing Workshop: Revision strategies
Choose a partner
Read both essays aloud before you start
to write about or discuss the essays.
On separate sheets of paper, answer all
of the questions from the handout for
your partner’s essay.
When you finish, return your comments
to the writer.
When you get your essay back, read the
comments and determine how you might
remedy any issues.
5. MLA format: on our website under
“MLA Guidelines.”
MLA (Modern Language Association) style is most commonly used to
write papers and cite sources within the liberal arts and humanities.
MLA style specifies guidelines for formatting manuscripts and using the
English language in writing. MLA style also provides writers with a system
for referencing their sources through parenthetical citation in their essays
and Works Cited pages.
Writers who properly use MLA also build their credibility by demonstrating
accountability to their source material. Most importantly, the use of MLA
style can protect writers from accusations of plagiarism, which is the
purposeful or accidental uncredited use of source material by other
writers.
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/747/01/
7. Margins and
Formatting
Double Click in
Header Area
Type your last name
Justify right
Go to “insert” and
click on “page
number
Header: Last Name 1
1” all around
Go to “Layout” and
adjust margins or
use custom
settings
Times New Roman
12
Indent body
paragraphs ½ inch
from the margin
8. Heading and Title
Your Name
Dr. Thomas Ray
EWRT 1A
29 January 2015
Original Title (not the title
of the essay we read)
No italics, bold, underline,
or quotation marks
Centered on the page
No extra spaces (just
double spaced after your
heading and before the
body of your text.
14. Many people write wordy papers because they are trying
to make their ideas sound important by using long words
and intricate sentences. They think that their writing must
be complicated to seem professional. Although these
writers are trying to impress their readers, they often end
up confusing them.
The best writing is clear, concise, and easy to understand.
Your ideas are much more impressive when your reader
does not have to fight to understand you.
Wordiness: using more words than
necessary to express your thoughts.
15. Often writers use several words for ideas that can be expressed in
one. This leads to unnecessarily complex sentences and genuine
redundancy as the following examples show:
Redundant
The printer is located adjacent
to the computer
The printer is located in the
immediate vicinity of the
computer
The user can visibly see the
image moving
He wore a shirt that was blue in
color
The input is suitably processed
Not Redundant
The printer is adjacent to the
computer
The printer is near the
computer
The user can see the image
moving
He wore a blue shirt.
The input is processed
16. Now you try it: Write this sentence in as few words as
possible without changing the meaning!
The available receptacle, in
any case, was of insufficient
size to contain the total
quantity of unnecessary waste.
17. How to reduce wordiness!
1. Reduce Long Clauses
When editing, try to reduce
long clauses to shorter
phrases:
Wordy: The clown who was
in the center ring was riding
a tricycle.
Revised: The clown in the
center ring was riding a
tricycle.
2. Reduce Phrases
Likewise, try to reduce
phrases to single words:
Wordy: The clown at the
end of the line tried to
sweep up the spotlight.
Revised: The last clown
tried to sweep up the
spotlight.
18. Eliminating Wordiness: Strategies
3. Avoid Empty Openers
Avoid There is, There are, and
There were as sentence openers
when There adds nothing to the
meaning of a sentence:
Wordy: There is a prize in every
box of Quacko cereal.
Revised: A prize is in every box
of Quacko cereal.
Wordy: There are two security
guards at the gate.
Revised: Two security guards
stand at the gate.
4. Don’t Overwork Modifiers
Do not overwork very, really,
totally, and other modifiers that
add little or nothing to the
meaning of a sentence.
Wordy: By the time she got
home, Merdine was very tired.
Revised: By the time she got
home, Merdine was exhausted
Wordy: She was also really
hungry.
Revised: She was also hungry
[or famished].
19. Eliminating Wordiness
5. Avoid Redundancies
Replace redundant expressions (phrases that use
more words than necessary to make a point) with
precise words. Remember: needless words are
those that add nothing (or nothing significant) to the
meaning of our writing. They bore the reader and
distract from our ideas. So cut them out!
Wordy: At this point in time, we should edit our work.
Revised: Now we should edit our work.
20. Group Practice!
1. He dropped out of school on account of the fact that it was
necessary for him to help support his family.
2. It is expected that the new schedule will be announced by the
bus company within the next few days.
3. There are many ways in which a student who is interested in
meeting foreign students may come to know one.
4. It is very unusual to find someone who has never told a
deliberate lie on purpose.
5. Trouble is caused when people disobey rules that have been
established for the safety of all.
21. Possible Answers
1. He dropped out of school to support his family.
2. The bus company will probably announce its
schedule during the next few days.
3. Any student who wants to meet foreign students
can do so in many ways.
4. Rarely will you find someone who has never told a
deliberate lie.
5. Disobeying safety regulations causes trouble.
22. Find a Wordy Sentence
Check your essay for wordiness. Look
for a sentence that falls into one of the
categories we just discussed. Edit it for
clarity and conciseness.
23. Writing Tips
Write about literature in present tense
Write about your experience in past tense
Avoid using “thing,” “something,” “everything,” and
“anything.”
Avoid writing in second person. (Don’t use “you”
unless it is in dialogue.
24. Surface Revision Strategies
Read Aloud
Reading the paper aloud slowly
can often bring to attention large
and small mistakes missed in
the writing and typing process.
Read each sentence and ask
does it make sense? Is it
awkward? Am I including words
that are not actually written on
the paper? Sometimes reading
the paper out of order can help
isolate problems. Try reading the
paragraphs starting with the last
sentence and then reading the
previous sentence and so on;
this can reveal problems in the
sentences.
Isolate Specific Problems
Isolating specific problems can
help give objectivity to one's
personal work. One way to
isolate specific issues is to circle
them on a paper draft and look
at them one by one. For
example: circle all commas and
then go back and look at each
comma asking if it is in the
appropriate place with the
correct usage. Another example
would be to circle all verbs and
then go back one by one and
identify the tense and verify
subject verb agreement.
25. HOMEWORK
For Thursday, January 29, 2015
Write: Using the comments you received from your
reader, revise your draft. Improve your essay! Revise and
Edit Essay #2.
Submit Essay 2: Due Thursday, January 29th via
Turnitin.com. Your paper must be in MLA format.
For Tuesday, February 3, 2015
Read: HG through chapter 15, SMG 134- 148
Bring: HG and SMG to class
Vocabulary: Exam on Chapters 5-9
