1. Business Analysts’S
Survival Guide to
the Middle East
Based on my experiences on having worked in Dubai from
2008-09 as individual consultant.
From the nearly extinct….*^%$ Panda

2. Golden Rule 1: Camouflage and in this case “suit up” Barney Stinson of HIMYM has the
copyrights. Looks are deceptive but out here it counts.
The only way you can get the Business Users to take you seriously.

3. Yea..Yea..I know U are Young..Ruthless..Innovative..blah..blah..
But take my words..It’s not the Jungle you know..
Don’t be in a hurry to show off your true colors.

4. Being
Pays..
The only place on earth where saying “How do I know” is second skin. So
here is the secret to survival..
Every time you hear this..Breathe In and Out..slowly..count 10 and then
open your mouth..

5. Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely
mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness. Thereby you can be the
director of the opponent's fate.
- Sun Tzu
Golden Rule 2: Sensei Sun Tzu said it all..
Practice Practice Practice.. Till you perfect this look… So Mr. BA par
excellence..dont forget the Puss in the boots in you..

6. Golden Rule 3: BA Gyaan passed on from last of celestial beings..
**Some say it’s copied right out of the BAVedas and others say it was carved on broken part of the nose of the Sphinx..Once lost but
revealed again…

7. You would wish you had this poster on your forehead while meeting
your stakeholders
All forms of Amnesia is rampant out here…especially selective amnesia..
The only weapon you have is your only trusted friend MOM..
Golden Rule 4: Shoot off MOMs immediately and get agreement

8. Out here..Projects…Life…Planets…they all love the circular
paths
Golden Rule 5: The are no straight lines in nature or life..or PROJECTS
Don’t be disheartened when you have to revisit all that you have done and
start over again

9. Copyrights with Leo and Mozart
http://www.artbusiness.com/signart.html
What’s a piece of art without a signature !!!
Golden Rule 6: Every document you create here is a piece of art..
Print..Bind..and get it signed.
Each time you go to someone and ask him to sign it, it will sound like “Will you please put your neck in the noose
for me ??” but just ignore those sounds..devil loves to play with a BAs brain

10. The Ricky Gervais Way…
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around.
You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to
read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk
past the boss' room on your way out. Send important emails at
unearthly hours and during public holidays
Copyrights with Ricky http://tombammann.org/office-skills
Golden Rule 7: The Show-Man rule. The spot-lights never go off from you

11. A wise Client out here once asked, “Mr. BA, which is the only correct
way of decision making?”
o Consensus
o Majority Rule
o Minority Rule
o Averaging
o Expert
o Authority Rule without discussion
o Authority Rule with discussion
Golden Rule 9: Always remember. This jungle believes in the Wisdom of
the crowds.

12. But always keep this picture in your mind..no matter what you hear from
any one..

13. Frustratingly Annoying Questions??
• Who is going to drive it??
Beware… territories are clearly maked. You risk the wrath of other BAs if you overdeliver
• Is this the approved template??
Even if they do not make sense, follow it
• Is this approved??
Once approved, the document becomes sacrosanct
• Does X approve of it??
It’s a political powerkeg. Personalities run the show. So tread carefully and avoid sparks..
Frame your answers for these questions..you will face these too often

14. And finally
The BA Anthem..

15. If you can Visualize
Requirements when all about
you,
Are simply vague and looking up
to you,
If you can dig out MOMs when
all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their
doubting too;
……………
And yet don't look too
good, nor talk too wise:
If you can innovate - and not
make guidelines your master, If you can talk with End-
If you can Analyze - and not Users and keep your vision,
make analysis your aim; Or walk with Sponsors -
If you can meet with Deadlines nor lose the gory details,
and Perfection If neither Off-shores nor
And treat those two imposters Geo’s can hurt you,
just the same; If all men count with you,
……. but none too much;
If you can bear to hear the If you can fill the
requirements you've recorded, unforgiving minute

16. Surviving is not enough..
More on this latter..
Hope you had a good time
reading this..
Criticisms welcome 
Sarbashrestha Panda
Sarbashrestha_panda@mindtree.com